TW: Mentions of cutting and attempted suicide.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My Tallest?!"

Zim screeched at the top of his lungs in a mix of both surprise and anger. He wasn't expecting them to call him any time soon, or ever, to be honest. They hated him, afterall! His mission on earth, his rank... they were all fake! So how could they even show their faces to him, knowing that he knew how they truly felt?!

He knew that they were oblivious to the consequences of their actions, but to stoop this low? It was very clear that he underestimated how narcissistic and ignorant they were.

"Yup! It's us," Red responded, chuckling nervously at the situation. If there was a contest for most pathetic circumstances, then he and Purple would win first place, because everything was already off to a bad start. Nothing had been resolved from their last conversation, which didn't end well, so now they had to talk to each other as if nothing had been revealed.

It was easier said than done.

He cleared his throat as Zim listened in bewilderment, with Dib not feeling much different.

"Um, anyways! The empire has encountered an... important issue."

"We're out of snacks!" Purple yelled, flailing his arms around before stopping shortly after, as if nothing had happened. Red shot him a glare, but proceeded with what he had to say.

"Yeah, what he said. We don't know the exact reason of how they disappeared, but it's suspected that it was the work of the Resisty." He paused for a moment, almost hesitating, and looked at Zim curiously from the screen. "So... we were wondering how the snacks on earth were! Are they good? Bad? Okay?"

Zim was at a loss for words.

They mocked, insulted, and banished him, causing him to fall into a state of depression, all so that they could use him later for SNACKS?! Did they forget what they did to him?! Because he didn't! He couldn't! They abandoned him, leaving him alone to die on a planet in the middle of nowhere!

And yet, they had the audacity to think they could ask him for ANYTHING!

It made him sick to his squeedly spooch.

"...Yes? They're good, I guess?"

The Tallest's expressions morphed from reluctance and uncertainty to more excited ones, as if the little Irken before them had flipped a switch. This reaction made him curious, forming ideas in his mind that sounded like they could work, but he didn't know if trying them would be worth it in the end. If he was going to listen, he'd have to make it really count.

"That's great, Zim! Could you go more into detail?" Purple exclaimed, already starting to drool at the sheer thought of eating his favorite pastries again. "Oh! And don't hold back!"

Red nodded in agreement, grinning like a madman as they both stared down at him, waiting to hear more about earth's delicacies.

At that moment, Zim felt truly needed again. His Tallest were finally listening to him after all of these years! Sure, it was for their own personal pleasure and he wouldn't benefit from it at all, but it was a nice thought! He was important now! Wasn't that great?

He grinned, pulling up a holopad that was floating next to the couch and erased all of the drawings on it. Earlier, he and Dib had played around with the thing, drawing pictures of planets from outer space and each other. One of them was a picture of the Tallest with an arrow pointing to them that said 'stoopid', drawn by his lovely boyfriend of course.

There were a couple of other things mocking the Tallest too, like a doodle of them holding guns to Skoodge's head saying something rude about short people, and one of them getting mauled to death by a chihuahua. He was very thankful that they could only see the back of it, otherwise, things wouldn't of gone well.

He exited out of the art app and tapped on something similar to Google, typing in what was assumed to be Irken. A picture of cotton candy appeared on the screen, and Zim turned it to face the Tallest.

"This is the cotton of candy! The humans usually enjoy this treat at their events like fairs and stuff! But... you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Purple ignored his little comment at the end and pointed to the photo with curiosity shining brightly in his eyes.

"Is is sweet?"

"Incredibly! And it's also soft, like a cloud!" He scrolled to another picture, showing a group of friends enjoying the snacks at an amusement park. "They also come in multiple colors and flavors!"

"Fascinating..."

Zim typed some more and showed them another picture, this time of an ice cream sundae. Their eyes widened as they looked at all of the delicious toppings littering it, from sprinkles to gummies. As far as they were concerned, it belonged in a museum with all the other works of art.

"What's this one?" Red questioned as he stared at it with delight.

"It's a sundae! Humans usually eat this one whenever they're sad. I assume it's an attempt to cheer themselves up?" He looked at Dib to confirm it and turned to face the Tallest again when he nodded. "Yeah, it's the best they can do."

"What makes it different from normal 'ice cream'?"

"Oh! It's the toppings of course!" Zim smirked, pulling up a gif of a sundae being made in slow motion. Red and Purple watched it in awe, mesmerized by how damn delicious it looked. And to think Zim of all Irkens got to eat it whenever he wanted! How unfair! "My personal favorite is the banana split sundae! They split a banana in half and then place different flavors of ice cream in between!"

"W-What do they do next?" Purple asked, drooling out of the corner of his mouth. His antennae were twitching with anticipation, along with Red's.

"Well, next they add sweet, gooey chocolate syrup onto it, which enhances the flavors. Sometimes, they add caramel too! Oh! And sprinkles are a MUST for a good sundae!" The Tallest had drunk expressions from imagining how good it looked, and Zim couldn't help but grin. "Then, they add whipped cream, chopped peanuts, and a cherry on top, finishing it off! Believe me, it tastes wonderful."

"I-"

Red whispered something to Purple before they both nodded, facing a smug looking Zim and a confused Dib at the same time.

"That's great news! Looks like having you live on earth was a wonderful idea!" Red did the talking while Purple closed his eyes and licked his lips, imagining a whole feast of sundaes and cotton candy. "Zim, we've decided that you really are worth something afterall! So, would you do us the honor of sending all of earth's snacks to the Massive?"

This was it for them. They finally had the solution to the crisis aboard the ship. And, for once, it was Zim! Everything would be over, and they could eat their cares away, just like they always did! It all worked out!

"Of course not!"

...well then.

"What? What do you mean?!" Purple asked him, snapping out of his little snack trance. "Don't you want to serve your empire?"

"Zim doesn't want to serve an empire that has no respect for him!" He snapped, stomping his foot on the ground in disobedience, catching the Tallest off guard. "Did you forget that I'm a defective?! Or that you BANISHED me to earth?! If Zim sends those snacks, it won't benefit anyone but you! So, why would I do that?"

"Because you have no purpose without us, Zim! You were made to serve your tallers, not do whatever you're doing on that stupid backwater planet! If you want to make yourself useful for once, send us those snacks and maybe we'll overrule your banishment."

"That's not true! Zim has a purpose, and it has nothing to do with either of you!"

"Then what is it?"

Zim was about to yell out a response, but he couldn't. The truth was, he really didn't know. As a young smeet, he assumed it was being an invader and conquering planets all across the galaxy, but now that he wanted nothing to do with the empire, it wasn't very clear. His stance went from confident to uncertain, and his antennae lowered quicker than he wanted them to. They had the upper hand, to his dismay.

"It's none of your business!" Dib stood up next to Zim, placing a hand on his shoulder while defending him from his ex-leaders. He wasn't happy in the slightest. "Or nothing you would understand, anyway! Did you really call Zim just to ask for snacks? Snacks?! Some leaders you are."

"Who are you?" Red questioned, ignoring whatever the human said. It all went in one antenna and out the other.

"Dib Membrane, his 'mate'! And I'm-!"

"Wait, wait, wait! His mate?"

Purple looked at Red with a sense of seriousness before they both started laughing hysterically.

"He- He actually mated?! Oh, Irk! We leave him alone for a month and he, and he-! Haha!"

Zim had his hands over his face, flushed in embarrassment as his leaders mocked him for breaking one of the most important laws in Irken culture. If he wasn't upset before he sure as hell was now. Dib contemplated just hanging up right then and there to help him, but the Tallest still had more to say. At least, when they calmed down, that was.

"This is just laughable! Come on, Zim, we know you're better than this. As your leaders, we command you to deliver those snacks right now."

They crossed their arms as if they were scolding a small child, but their smirks said otherwise. Sure, they weren't the smartest, but that didn't mean they were completely stupid. It was obvious that if Zim didn't listen to them, he would be punished, banished or not. And he knew just as well as they did how bad things could turn out.

Still, that didn't prevent him from gaining more confidence as their words filled his veins with pure malice, inducing him to lash out when their poor choice of words awakened something in him.

"My leaders? MY leaders?!" The Tallests' antennae lowered as Zim started walking towards the screen, violently screeching at them with each and every step. "You may rule that stupid ship of yours, but you have no control over Zim! At least, not anymore! I never needed you anyways!"

"Oh, yes you do! You need us to-"

"To what?! Remind me that I'm a defective!?" He spat out as he made direct eye contact, causing them to slouch down. No words were shared between them, which made him click his tongue in disgust. "You know it's true, don't you? None of you have ever cared about me, about Zim! Your 'greatest invader'! It's sad that I spent so many years of my life believing that I could ever amount to something, when that couldn't be farther from the truth. Not in a society like yours, dominated by some Irkens just because of a trait that can't be controlled."

Disheartened, he looked down at the floor, remembering all of the years of his smeethood, thinking that one day he would be a powerful invader. He used his pride as a shield from the harsh truth of reality, creating his own little fantasy world where everything went exactly how he wanted it to all of the time. And when it didn't? He pretended that it did.

Nothing would hurt if he just lied to himself, right?

But, of course, that didn't work. The more time he spent ignoring all of his problems, the more they got worse until it all became too much for him. If Dib wasn't in his base the day that his Tallest had banished him...

Then he wouldn't have had a very happy ending.

"Listen to us, Zim. That can change! You won't have to live like that anymore! Not if you prove your worth to us!"

Red smiled at him, with Purple following soon after.

"We know you have potential, Zim! It's true! All you have to do is send those delectable snacks, and you'll be invited back into the Massive! You'll be a hero! The snack hero! Everyone will forget you're a defective! But, first you have to do this little task for us!"

Zim was in so much emotional distress from the mixed signals they were giving him. They weren't really genuine about anything they said, he knew it. But he wanted to believe they were. He wanted to believe that they really did care, and that he'd be treated like a prince. If he listened to them, they would most likely kill him right after. There wasn't any other outcome that would come true, he was too much of a criminal amongst his kind for that. But, maybe they'd do it painlessly?

If anything, he'd die knowing that he was a valuable asset to his empire

But... what about Dib? How would he feel knowing that he was dead? Would he be sad? Or would he be mad because he betrayed him, choosing his leaders over their relationship?

Zim pulled at his antennae and the world started spinning, thoughts of 'what ifs' clouding his mind with raw fear. His breathing became frantic as if his heart had ran a marathon, his eyes darting back and forth between his Tallest and Dib, wondering if any of them truly cared. His mate's words were blurry to him, a constant ringing drowned him out, and all he could hear was his erratic breathing as the atmosphere suffocated him slowly.

"Shut up!" He yelled, shutting his eyes tightly, still clutching at his antennae in pain. "Just, shut up! Zim doesn't want to hear any of it!"

"You-!"

"Stop it! Stop! No more! I never want to speak to you tall jerks ever again! You'll be lucky if Zim even acknowledges your existence in the future!"

He let go of one of his antennae, pointing to the Tallest.

"And don't even THINK about calling me again! I'm blocking YOU from any forms of communication available! You'll never hear from Invader Zim ever again!"

He instructed his computer to start blocking them, to which he obeyed, already starting the process that took a couple seconds.

"Goodbye!" Zim mocked, remembering what they had enthusiastically said before ending their last call with him.

And with that, they were gone for good. No more calls would ever come from them.

He was finally free.

So... why were there hot tears dripping down his face?

"Zim...?"

Dib approached him slowly with concern littering his features, not expecting it when Zim walked over and hugged him tightly. His silence spoke volumes.

"Hey... it's okay... they're gone," he consoled in a soft voice. "They can't hurt you anymore."

He stood up with the little Irken in his arms and made his way to the couch, sitting down once he arrived, all while whispering sweet words of comfort into his antennae. Then, Zim started sobbing uncontrollably, tears soaking Dib's trenchcoat as he rubbed his back reassuringly.

The worst of it was over.

Sure, it had been extremely painful to cut ties with the only life that he knew, but now he could start over! He finally had a chance to live a life free of egotistical dictators and discriminatory empires. For once, he could just be... normal. Of course, it would've been cool to end up being famous to the earth people, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

All that mattered was that he finally got what he wanted.

...He just wished that if could've happened under different circumstances.

"Dib...?" Zim started, not moving an inch from their current position. "Have you ever... lost someone important to you?"

Dib's eyes widened for a moment at the intensity of the question before he nodded somberly.

"My mother. She died shortly after giving birth to me according to Dad. I've never met her, but for some reason or another, I care about her so much." The hold he had on Zim grew tighter, almost like if he let him go, he'd disappear forever. "After she died, Dad created a clone from a strand of hair he found on her pillow. That clone ended up being Gaz."

"I love her, I really do, but sometimes it hurts to look at her. Because each time, I'm reminded that I killed my mother. I'm the reason that she didn't get to live her life to the fullest. If I was never born, she would be living freely right now, without a care in the world. Dad always said she was a free spirit."

Dib chuckled sadly while his boyfriend ran his claws through his hair with a mix of sympathy and seriousness painting his features. His antennae rested near the human's scythe, as if he was subconsciously trying to keep as close to him as possible.

"You are not the reason why she's not here anymore, Dib-thing. It was her own choice to have you. She cared so much, that she sacrificed her life so that you could live yours."

"...But I didn't want her to."

One by one, tears fell down his face just as they did for Zim. There was an attempt to suppress them, but to no avail.

He couldn't hold back anymore.

"I've been lied to for years. YEARS! All because he thought I couldn't handle the truth! But you know what? I would rather have known that she was dead the whole time than to live a lie!" Dib took a few shaky breaths before continuing his rant. "How can I trust him if he isn't going to tell me important information like this?!"

"Zim is sure he didn't mean any harm. Afterall, you were only a smeet! From what I've learned, death is a very touchy subject for your species."

"Sure, but I could've handled it! Or, at the very least, he could've just waited until I would ask him! Lying only makes the situation worse... I thought he was smart enough to know that."

A heavy silence fell upon the house for a few minutes, with both of them retreating to their thoughts to gain enough courage to speak. It was easier said than done, even if they had endless amounts of trust for each other.

Eventually, Dib spoke up, his tone changing drastically.

"If I would've known sooner, I wouldn't have felt so... bad."

Zim's antennae perked up at the sentence, noticing the shift in his emotions. He went from being mad at his father to somber all within a short time span, no breaks helping him go from one to another easier.

Humans were so complex, and it felt like everytime he thought he had figured them out, something new happened. It was something he found very interesting, and now that Dib was his mate, he had a greater source of information.

Of course, no amount of info was more important than his feelings.

"What do you mean?" The Irken asked, giving him his upmost attention.

Dib hesitated, instinctively avoiding eye-contact and messing with the bottom of his trenchcoat's sleeve. He mumbled something before hushing, but Zim couldn't hear it, even with his incredible antennae.

"A little louder... please?"

"I..."

He shut his eyes tight and rolled up his sleeve, revealing a multitude of crude scars upon his arm. They cut into him pretty deep, reflecting how much pain he had been in internally for all of that time, suffering in silence.

After years and years of being ignored and belittled, it was almost comical that nobody saw it coming. That nobody knew that it would all take a toll on him. It seemed that they only started to care when he had started harming himself, because if he died, then they wouldn't have anyone to mock.

"..I used myself as an outlet for my emotions. Whenever I felt sad or mad, I would grab the nearest sharp object and just... cut into myself." Dib winced, remembering how painful it felt, especially after the deed was done. And the mess was just as bad, with blood getting all over the bathroom counter. If he didn't feel satisfied when he did it, he would've stopped a long time ago. "It hurt like hell, but there wasn't something to it. Something that made me feel... happy? I don't know how to describe the feeling, but the more pain I felt, the more I wanted to continue."

He looked down at his arm, disgusted with his past actions.

"I tried killing myself shortly after realizing that cutting doesn't take away all the pain. My plan was to jump off a cliff, far away where nobody could see me, and then disguise it as an accident. That way, nobody would call me a coward for committing suicide. They would just... forget. And at the time, that seemed better than being treated the way I was."

"Of course, Gaz caught me in the act and forced me to see a therapist. Dad decided to step in as well, helping me overcome my depression. I haven't cut myself in months now and I'm starting to enjoy life for what it is. That's not to say I've gotten over my mom, though. The way I see it, I never will. But, at the very least, I'm kind of glad that I'm alive, thanks to her. Even if I wish she didn't make that sacrifice, I'm still greatful. Especially since I got to meet you."

Dib smiled softly, rolling his sleeve back up and wiping his tears. He never expected to befriend his enemy, much less fall in love. But here he was, cuddling with him on the couch, sharing things that he would never tell anyone else.

And to be honest, he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Zim is glad that you don't feel that way anymore. If you never existed, I wouldn't be alive right now. So, when you think about it, your 'mother' really saved two lives."

Dib chuckled at Zim's comment, pulling him in for another hug.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he said thoughtfully. Then, he pulled the Irken into a kiss and wrapped his arms around the other's waist, keeping them together. It took a bit of time, but Zim soon figured out what to do too and placed his arms on Dib's shoulders.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds, but stopped abruptly when Zim suddenly scooted away from him.

"What was THAT?!" He yelled in what Dib assumed to be disgust. However, there seemed to be a little bit of fear in his voice as well.

The human blushed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"My, uh, tongue."

"And you humans use it for the 'keesing'?"

"Sometimes. I guess it really depends on what type of kiss it is." Dib tapped his chin while he tried remembering information about romance. If Gaz were there, she would've been able to help him, mostly because of her fanfiction. In fact, it was her stories that made her a walking encyclopedia of dating knowledge. From dates to... not so innocent acts, she knew it all. It made him somewhat proud, but at the same time he had to remember that her facts weren't always correct.

For an embarrassing amount of time, he believed that men could get pregnant, thanks to her telling him. It was only when he brought it up in class during sex-ed that he found out the truth, but not before being mocked relentlessly.

There was also the time when she told him about that disease. What was it called again? Haniki? Hanaki?

Whatever it was called, it scared him to death.

Especially during the time when he had a crush on Erik. Everyday, he would hold back the urge to cough because he was afraid that the flowers would choke him on their way out. He had to find out the hard way when Gaz played a prank on him. She had thrown a few flower petals, along with some red food coloring, away in the trashcan just to mess with him. And it worked, because when Dib coughed into it and saw the flowers, he went straight to his father and convinced him to take him to the hospital.

Ever since that day, the doctors started calling him the 'crazy kid', even after he turned 18.

That was the last time he trusted Gaz.

"Let's see... there's normal kissing, french kissing, lizard kissing, oh-! Neck kissing too! And then there's other places than just the lips, like the forehead, stomach, thighs, or-!"

"Zim gets it!" He interrupted, shaking his head. "You humans make everything so complicated. It's just connecting lips!"

"But you like it, don't you?"

Zim didn't respond and instead chose to bury his head into Dib's trenchcoat, causing him to laugh tiredly.

"Man, I'm exhausted. How long has it been?"

"An hour."

"Wait." Dib did all of the calculations in his head. "So... you're telling me that we received a call from your Tallest, informed them about earth's snacks, had a huge argument with them about those snacks, cut ties with them, had a tearful discussion about losing the people we love, and this all happened in an hour?"

He laid down with Zim laying on top of him and gave him a confused look, which was met with the same energy.

"I don't know how that works either."

"Did someone say pinecones?!"

The boys turned their heads to face the living room entrance which was occupied by Gir. In his hands were a bunch of multicolored pinecones covered in thick layers of gooey cheese. There seemed to be visible bite marks on the pinecones, which was both questionable and concerning for a number of different reasons.

"No? I don't think anybody said anything about that...?"

"Oh." Gir looked at the ground for a split second before throwing the pinecones everywhere and cheering. Then, he noticed the pair lying on the couch. "Oooh! Can I sleep too?! Can I?! Can I?!"

"We aren't-"

"CAN I?!"

Zim scowled, but he made space for the little robot and rolled his eyes while beckoning to him.

"Yay!!"

Gir jumped onto the couch and cuddled up to the two of them, smiling brightly. Then, he shut his eyes and somehow managed to fall asleep.

"He's... very interesting," Dib remarked, watching him move around in his sleep as if he were a dog having a dream about chasing a squirrel.

"Indeed, but that's how Zim likes him. Without the weirdness, he simply isn't... Gir."

They stayed in the same position for a while, just enjoying the time that they had together, and eventually, Zim felt his eyelids start to close slowly. His antennae rested in a downwards position and his body relaxed in his boyfriend's hold.

And for the first time ever, he yawned.

"I thought Irkens didn't sleep, spaceboy?" Dib teased as he watched the scene before him. It was honestly quite adorable, but he would never say that to the Irken's face. Not if he wanted to live a long, healthy life, at the very least.

"Shutup... Dib-sttiink..." Zim slurred, not able to combat the sleepiness that overtook him.

And with that, he was out like a light, with Dib following shortly after.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually, the next day came around, and Dib was the first to wake up. Everything seemed to be normal, however, there was a strange feeling lingering in the air. Something was wrong, he could feel it.

And he was proven to be right when he saw smoke billowing out of the kitchen at an alarming rate.