The first thing I feel is something hard and cold pressed against my face. I crack open one eye and try to focus on where I am.

I'm surrounded by menacing black walls made of stone, the floor is made of the same stone. The entire room holds the presence of some form of darkness.

I open my other eye and roll onto my back. The room is dark but I can still see. I push myself up into a sitting position and try to search for a door or a window of some kind.

Anything that would allow me to escape.

As I search the room my mind replays the events of last night. Was it last night? Who knows how long I have been lying unconcious in this room?

The memory of the orcs attacking me reminds me of the numerous wounds I received from them. I touch my face with my hand and can feel dried blood on my cheek.

I wonder why they didn't kill me when they had the opportunity to? I'm no Silvan or Noldor, but I'm still an elf. And I know that no orc in its twisted mind would be able to resist killing the one thing the hate the most on this earth.

Shakily I stand up and that's when I remember.

Morwen.

She had ordered the orcs to stop, and they had obeyed. I was right all along. She was never trying to help me, she had been trying to bring me to this place.

Unwillingly I think about that night. She had tried to convince me that there was still love in me, I had almost fallen for it.

There had been a brief moment where I'd thought that I still could love. That I wasn't the heartless killer I had become.

Then she turned around and handed me over to her orcs, and I said that I was a monster?

I don't have another moment to linger on these thoughts as the room suddenly becomes darker.

I tense and immediately reach for a weapon-
But I don't have one.

No swords, no bow, and my dagger- it's gone too.

I panic and start to search frantically for the dagger. I can't lose it! I have to have it with me! No one else can use it but me, and not just because its mine.

"Welcome Amarth, we meet at last."
A voice that seems to shake the entire room calls out from the darkness. I try to focus on a shape that seems to be moving through the air, but I can't make out what it is.

"Who are you?"
I demand not really sure to who or what I'm talking to.
"I am the one who had you brought here."
The voice continues.
"I'm sure that Morwen told you about me."

I clench my hands into fists and glare at the darkness.
"Do not say that name."

"Why not?"
The voice asks innocently.
"Does hearing it make you angry?"

"Just tell me why I'm here."
I'm nearing the end of my rope and very soon, I am going to lose my patience.

"You would not be so bold if you knew who I was elf."
The voice thunders and I'm nearly thrown off my feet.
"Then please, enlighten me."
I straighten myself and continue to stare at the darkness, undaunted by its ever increasing malice.

To my surprise the voice begins to laugh. Cruel and coarse, it fills me with dread.

"You are far more promising than the last elf. He was strong I'll give him that, but his courage failed him in the end."

Last elf?

"Do you delight yourself in taking elves against their will?"
I question trying to keep myself calm depsite the rising fear in the back of my mind.

"There has only been one that I troubled myself with, and he is no longer of any use to me."

There's a long pause. I believe that it's to allow the evergrowing fear to begin rooting itself into my heart.

It's working.

Slowly I begin to feel a tremble starting in my hands that slowly travels to the rest of my body. I haven't been afraid for a very long time.

"What happened to this elf?"
I ask knowing that the answer will only add to my rising panic.

"He is foolishly trying to return to his former life. I have taken away everything from him and now he is fading."

Deathly silence fills the room. I can't even hear the sound of my own breathing.

"I am going to do the same thing to you Amarth. I will destroy you the same way that I destroyed him."

Suddenly I'm flung backwards and sent crashing into a wall. I'm held in place by an unseen force that continues to press into me.

Only now its tearing into me. Ripping me apart and burrowing into my mind. I scream and try to break free.

Something flashes in front of my eyes and for the briefest moment I see someone that I never thought I would see again.

Anna...

For the first time I remember my sister, I can hear her voice, it's as if she's here.

Just as quickly she fades and is replaced by another person.
My throat turns dry when I gaze into the eyes of my son. The one who was murdered right in front of me.

Then I see her, my wife, the one whom I gave my heart to. The one I failed to save.

All of my memories, they all flood into my mind. I remember everything that ever happened to me.

And

It

Kills

Me

Now I remember who I once was. I know that I once had a family and friends, and now I know that it was my fault for being turned into this.

I was the one who chose to subcumb to the darkness. I wanted to free from pain, the pain of having my heart broken.

Over and over again.

That's why I let myself fall. So that I never had to feel the pain of loss ever again.

"For years you blamed others for the way you were, when in truth it was your own doing."

More tears fall and I don't care. It is my fault, everything that happened to me, my family, all of it is my fault.

"This is amusing, I broke the other elf by taking away his memories,"
The darkness tightens its grip on me and I panic as my air is abruptly cut off.
"And I broke you by giving yours back."

"Caran!"

I watch as Elwin is embedded in the back with a spear.

I relive Veliron slitting Rilien's throat.

I witness Anna being beaten to the point of death.

The three people that meant more to me than anything, the ones whom I had loved with all of my heart....

Had all been killed right in front of me.

I watched them die. I never did anything to help them.

I am their true killer.

I am the murderer.

I am doom.

Yes...
You are doom Amarth.

My eyes roll back into my head and I slip into oblivion.

And now you belong to me.

////

I sit with my knees against my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around them.

Never have I felt so afraid in all of my life. Now that I know what I truly am, I don't know what to do.

I was put in a small cell and left alone. I still do not know where I am or who ordered me to be here.

I want to cry but I have no tears left to shed. My heart has been broken even though I believed that such a thing was impossible.

What I did to protect myself has failed. All it has done is break me until there is nothing left of who I once was.

I am not Caran. I can never be Caran ever again. But can I go on with being Amarth? Do I have any other choice?

No.
A voice tells me.
You don't.

Footsteps approach my barred cell door. I look up expecting the worst, and can hardly believe my shock when I see who it is.

"Morwen?"
She kneels on the floor in front of my cell. I move closer to the door and look at her in disbelief.

She looks nothing like she once did. Her hair is a tangled mess and her eyes are dull. Tears stain her cheeks and even now she looks just as broken as I do.

"Amarth I-I'm so sorry."
Her voice cracks as she grips the bars of my cell. Why is she apologizing? What did she do?

I reach out and find myself about to grasp her hands. I want to, I want to feel her touch again, but before I do I stop myself.

I remember what she did to me. How she manipulated me, lied to me, brought me to this place.

I back away from her and glare at her in hatred. She seems startled and hurt at the same time.

"I was right about you Morwen. You were only trying to do your master's bidding."

"No! Amarth you must believe me, I never wanted this to happen."

"Then why did you let it happen? You could have stopped this from happening, and yet you allowed it happen. After tricking me into believing that you actually loved me."

"But I do love you Amarth."
Her voice barely rises above a whisper. Yet no matter how loud she could have said it makes no difference to me.

She is dead to me.

"Morwen what you feel is not love."
I growl.
"Amarth-"

"If it was love that you were feeling you wouldn't have let them take me. You only think that you love me because you belive that we are alike, that there is some hope that you can heal me and I can heal you, but it is only a foolish daydream of yours Morwen. We are nothing alike."

Morwen continues to cry and I know that I'm breaking her heart....

Which is exactly what I want.

"I enjoy watching the suffering of others, and believe me I am enjoying this right now."

She flinches as if my words have physically hurt her.

"You actually thought that you could heal me, that you could be the one to bring love back into my heart, but let me tell you something Morwen- there is no hope for me. I am doomed to this fate, just as I doom others. I don't want to be healed and I will break anyone who thinks that they can overcome true darkness. Because I am the only one who has seen it, I live in it everyday of my life, and once true darkness has taken hold of you, it will never let go."

If Morwen was hurt before it is nothing compared to how she is feeling now.

I relish the look of utter pain in her eyes. I recognize it all too well for I have witnessed it and lived it many times.

Her heart has been broken. Truly broken.

She stands with even more tears falling from her eyes. Before she leaves she throws something down in front of my cell and runs out of my sight.

I reach out and grasp the object in my hands. I smile as I pull it into my cell.

My dagger.

Its malice pours into me and I close my eyes in pure delight. I do not need light. I do not leave love.

I push Elwin, Rilien, and Anna far out of my mind. They no longer matter to me.

What matters now is that I have truly become Amarth. I bring darkness amd despair to all I come across. I kill the light and destroy hope.

This is who I am, no longer am I horrified or ashamed of what I've become.

I welcome it with open arms, this new life that I have chosen.

I am Amarth.