"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." 
~ Friedrich Nietzsche  ~

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Shaurya had also not faced the morning in the best of his moods and Reyansh's insistence that he would have to drive down for the wedding to obtain his answers had not gone down well either. He would have driven down in any event but would have preferred to have some answers immediately rather than wait the additional hours it would take to reach there.

When he reached the house, he immediately made his way to the terrace unwilling to waste even a single minute more and was surprised to see that Ishaani had followed him. She placed a tray with sandwiches and coffee in front of him and said, "You will need your strength."

He raised an eyebrow, and in a tone that brooked no nonsense, countered, "I need answers."

"Yes, but once you hear us out, you could be tempted to strangle me, so you would need your strength."

Shaurya narrowed his eyes and Reyansh trembled, he knew that look but Ishaani was unfazed, settling herself across Shaurya and motioning Reyansh to sit beside her, she said, "You want to know about Aabha. She always was and always will be your weakness; you will never forgive anyone who would hurt her. But first, let us tell you your story."

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Shaurya heard them out in silence, till Ishani finished. 

He closed his eyes as he remembered the fire in Aabha's eyes when she said she hated him and had immediately corrected herself to say that she hated herself and the idea of love. 'So was she never in love with him, no that could not be possible, Reyansh had been very firm about her feeling for him and he could see the warmth with which his family treated her, she must have loved him too. That left him with only one possibility; he must have hurt her so badly that she did not want to have anything to do with him'. He dropped his head into his hands, there was no point taxing himself; those memories would not come back. Wearily running his hands through his hair, he asked, "Tell me, Rey, if we did love each other and were engaged, how come there is no evidence, not even a single photograph? Except for those rare ones at your engagement, why are there no other ones?"

"She did not like being photographed much and you would do anything for her. I am sure your personal phone has a few hundred of them but it is password protected. You had taken another connection so that you could talk to Aabha and yet be available for office-related calls. When the doctors said that we should not stress you, I had that connection surrendered and kept the phone with me and I erased her contact details from the one you use for your office calls. It was only when Aabha came back that I placed that mobile and that package in the secret compartment. I do not know what it is, but I had taken it from your laptop bag."

"And the engagement, did we really have one?"

"You would have had two ceremonies if we could have had our way, but then neither of you wanted the elaborate public ceremony." 

Reyansh could not help grinning at Shaurya's zapped expressions. "You had an impromptu one when you had proposed to her. It must have been a 'no-holds-barred, no-expenses-spared' extravaganza. None were privy to the details except what Aabha shared with Ishaani, but I did see some of the bills. The rings were nice, double infinity sign with your names inscribed on the inside, I know about them; you had shown them to me. You had both yours and hers made, and I had joked that you had got them cheap, just plain gold with no expensive stones. I will never forget your answer, Bhai, you had said, 'Aabha does not like precious stones and fancy stuff, she will understand. Gold is resistant to heat and acid so is a symbol of immutability, eternity and perfection. The infinity sign is common for both romance and mathematics, this ring is an amalgam of both our natures.' Ishaani later told me what Aabha had told her; that she had almost cried when she saw the rings."

Shaurya nodded his head absently, though nothing seemed to be making sense. He had noted a ring on Aabha's right hand and had commented on it too; he had sarcastically asked if the double infinity sign was a signet of a Mathematical Society that she was a member of. She had glared at him and walked off, he had been puzzled at her reaction then, now he could slightly understand her fury. But if what she had been wearing was the ring he had given her it must mean that she still harboured some feelings, which was contradictory to her attitude towards him.

"Where is mine?"

Ishaani answered this question, "With Aabha, you had given it to her on the night before the operation. The doctor had been adamant you remove the ring and you were equally stubborn in refusing to do so, she stepped in with a solution. She had gotten a red mouli from the temple to tie on your wrist, which also the Doctor forbade. So she took your ring, strung it through that mouli, knotted it and wore it around her neck. She still wears it, even to this date."

"Then why did she leave, Rey, if we really did love each other as you claim, why did she leave? Did I do something to her?"

"No Bhai, you did nothing. When you regained consciousness, you remembered nothing of Aabha and the first question you had was 'Where is Nisha?' When the Doctor confirmed you were fine but for the fact that you had forgotten around two years of your life, he gave us the standard warnings, no causing stress, no forcing him to remember, the regular stuff. We were not sure what to do or say, but she made up her mind and said that she would leave."

"So why is she back?"

Reyansh was now a little worried, it was answering this question which was difficult but then he had little choice, "Because I wanted my brother back, none noticed it but I could see; you had become a little cold and ruthless. We spoke to your Dr Chowdhary and while she did not believe the change was on account of amnesia, she did agree that somewhere, even unknown to yourself, you were missing Aabha. Based on your progress and behaviour, she was convinced that there would be no traumatic experiences for you if Aabha was in your company. We hoped that you would remember and..."

Shaurya slowly tried to piece the information; it made sense, gave him some answers, but still left that question burning its way through his heart and mind, "why does Aabha hate me so much?"

It was Ishaani who gently said, "You do not remember about my sister's early life, Reyansh will fill in those details. I will tell you what is important."

"My sister was a person who did not accept or believe in the idea of love. You had started your relationship with a deal, that you would teach her that love is real. When our parents got married, she had accepted that love could exist, she agreed on it when Reyansh and I fell in love. When she fell in love with you, Shaurya, she began to hope but when you fell in love with her, she started to believe in love. There were nights when she prayed in gratitude that she had lost the deal, for your love for her proved that love does exist and is beautiful. She loves you a lot, Shaurya, but not as much as you loved her. I do not think there is anyone who can love like you do, with that single minded-determination and utter devotion. There were times when your love for my sister frightened us; the sheer scale of your adoration was mind-boggling.

But when you woke up with no memory of her, her universe shattered, none of us mattered when you were not there. She could not stay back, not when the one person who meant everything to her did not remember her."

Shaurya looked at both the siblings, Reyansh appeared jittery while Ishaani was cool and collected, and he said, "So you and Reyansh had her come back hoping I would remember and things would be as they were before? Tell me one thing, rather than enact this elaborate charade and leave things to chance and so prone to going wrong at every turn, would it not have been simply easier for the two of you to just tell me about Aabha?"

Ishaani smiled; her expression absolutely calm and serene, "And just what purpose would that have served, would you have gone running to her and asked her to come back into your life? Apologised for forgetting her? You would have not done that and Aabha would never have come back just to attend our wedding. So we had to carry out what you have termed as an elaborate charade. But then it did turn out to be successful, though not in a way we imagined. You did fall in love with her."

Shaurya now was back to his icy version, "Ishaani, you truly are a devil with the face of an angel. Did you, for even one second, think how much it must have hurt Aabha, to be constantly in my company when I do not remember her? Did you not think how painful it must have been when I said I wanted to be her friend? How much agony it must have caused her when I professed my love for her, as though it was the first time? You are right, you do deserve to be strangled and the only thing that is stopping me is..."

"Yes, Jeeju, I know," if she noticed Shaurya's startled gasp at the easy way she called him Jeeju, she gave no indication, for she simply continued, "but then sometimes, old wounds have to be opened to be healed. I also want my brave strong sister back and whether you remember her or not, you are the only one who can bring her back."

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Shaurya was back in that nightmare, the one that haunted him since the day he had woken up from the surgery, the one he never spoke to anybody about. He was standing at the edge of an endless dark abyss, surrounded by thick swirling inky clouds as his very soul howled around him. He was frozen, there was no way ahead and he was unable to turn. It was then that he heard the footsteps, the soft yet desperate footfalls of someone running and stopping and running again towards him. He did not have to turn around to know that they belonged to a hesitant woman and that if he turned before she reached him she would disappear into the inky mists that swarmed around him. He waited for what seemed to be an eternity; if she did not reach him he would be lost. But she never did and he stepped off the edge, falling silently, falling forever. And every time, he would wake up in a cold sweat, and it was like he knew that the only one who could stop him was that woman. But somehow this time it was a little different, it was as though he knew that he could not take the emptiness anymore, that gnawing ache in his being that nothing seemed to fill. He squeezed his eyes closed, clenching his fists and tightening his jaw as he willed the woman to reach him and reach out to him, he waited....... till he could not hear the footsteps anymore. Maybe he should take the usual step, finish it off and it was then that he felt that there was something else about the dream today, a sillage of fresh aquatic florals, and a tiny wisp of silver...

Shaurya snapped his eyes open, he realised that he had been dreaming that dream while he was wide awake, standing on the beach with the waves lapping at his feet. He was completely crazy, he thought, till he realised that he could actually smell that fragrance of his dream. He spun around to see Aabha standing there, wide-eyed, as though stunned to see him there.

So that was about it, Shaurya learning about his forgotten past, the the role the siblings had to play. And then there was that nightmare he never spoke about. So how did you find this update, do let me know, whether it was good or bad.

love,
Nyna