"There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise, you'll never understand what it's saying."

~Sarah Dessen, 'Just Listen' ~

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The five-hour long journey from the city to the beach house was tiring for Aabha, especially after what she had learnt during that journey. She never knew how Ishaani managed it, but Aabha found herself, Ishaani and Shivani in Reyansh's car. Sitting in the back seat of the car, Aabha had pretended to be asleep till she heard Tanushri's name.

Ishaani had managed to pry all the details of what had happened when she saw that Aabha was livid on the night of the party, for, after Shaurya's confession, she had thought that Aabha could be embarrassed but had not expected the rancour. It was then that Aabha had finally broken down and told Ishaani everything; about Shaurya's third deal, her kissing him, of him hugging Tanushri and her meeting with Tanushri in the washroom. Ishaani became thoughtful, she had met Tanushri that day, who had impressed her quite a bit and was taken aback at what she now learnt. She decided that Tanushri had to be studied a little better and decided to probe Reyansh about her.

Reyansh did not note anything untoward in Ishaani's questioning and started recounting about Shaurya and Tanushri, how they were friends from their college days. He smiled, "they were very good friends till she got married," and seeing their bewildered expressions continued, "after that her husband and Shaurya became best friends. Tanushri still fumes about it at times."

Looking at Aabha in the rear view mirror, he said, "You might remember him, Piyush, that tall friend of Bhai, he was there in the hospital a few times."

Aabha sat a little dazed, she now remembered that the man who had looked familiar was Piyush. It was in a daze that she heard Reyansh as he continued, how Tanushri was married into a very large joint family and yet managed to effectively balance home and office. 'I admire her, Aabha, she can balance both family and work with consummate ease,' Shaurya's voice sounded in her head.

Interrupting Reyansh's effusive praise, Ishaani asked as to why Tanushri had never come to see Shaurya if she was indeed such a good friend. A sadness marred his face and it was a very sober Reyansh who said, "Tanu was pregnant at that time and Shaurya had not wanted her to be told till he was sure about his surgery but when she learnt of it, she immediately wanted to come to the hospital, in her haste she slipped and suffered a miscarriage. Bhai learnt about it much later and he was quite guilt-stricken, for Tanushri had faced a lot of difficulties in conceiving and subsequently, the doctors gave up hope. But then, around three weeks back, she found out that she was pregnant and Bhai was the first person to be told, she and her husband had come to meet him at the office, even though it was very late. Tanushri had wanted to wait till morning, but not Piyush, he could not wait to share the news with Bhai."

Aabha closed her eyes in anguish, that scorching image of Shaurya hugging Tanushri coalescing with the unbelievably tender one of Tanushri saying, 'Give your love another chance.' As remorse started to worm into her heart, her mind began its conflict, 'maybe Shaurya did not love Tanushri but could that mean he loved her? He did confess when he was drunk, how much could she rely on that? And even if he did speak the truth, she had no faith in her destiny; each time she thought she had won a battle, she would end up losing the war.'

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Aabha had spent the rest of the drive in silence, thinking over what she had learnt. Though she admitted that she could have been hasty about Shaurya, her mind and her heart were in conflict as what had to be done next. She continued to pretend to be sleeping, not interested in the conversation which had shifted to the wedding plans and the expectant quirks of the guests, hoping that she might be left alone to sort out her thoughts. She hoped that she would be allowed to left alone in the beach house and maybe she would be able to think it through, all she felt now was a jumble of conflicting emotions.

Once they reached the beach house, they hardly had much time to settle in before Reyansh's mother hustled both the families to the temple where everyone had to undergo a very torturous session of sitting still as the panditji conducted every conceivable rite to appease the angry, sulking or moody Gods which was scheduled to be followed by a grahashanti puja on the next day. Aabha hardly focussed on anyone, her mind in constant turmoil, even when Reyansh whispered to Ishaani what Shaurya would have felt, 'one could be not sure about the Gods, but the priest would be a very happy man with the dakshina he would get,' she could not even get herself to smile.

She had no respite after the puja either, for it appeared that the afternoon and the evening were reserved for an impromptu 'meet and greet' the various cousins, aunts and uncles. While Aabha had no cousins and Ishaani had a couple of them, Shaurya's family seemed to have no lack of relatives and cousins. Even with the event being restricted to close relatives, there were at least half a dozen families, which meant that there were about thirty to forty people to whom the sisters were introduced and re-introduced. While Ishaani was the epitome of grace and joy, Aabha could only manage polite smiles and one-word replies, wondering how long it could be before she could sneak away.

It would not be any time soon, she realised, not when she could make out the hushed whispers about her, she knew that most were speculating about her presence and Shaurya's absence; the same getting louder when Shaurya's grandaunt, joined the fray. Aabha was torn between having to maintain a calm demeanour for Ishaani's sake and the temptation of rushing into her room when Surpriya, Shaurya's mother, came to her unexpected rescue. She pulled Aabha with her, rounded up on Shaurya's tiny gang of garrulous aunts and exclaimed, "Have you met Aabha? She is Ishaani's elder sister and a doctor, not that medical one, but one in numbers. Such a beautiful girl, she is, is she not?"

When the aunts fell into stunned silence, and a couple of them nodded and murmured their assent, Supriya continued, whispering in exaggerated tones, "I picked her for my Shaurya, who, as all of you know, is acting stubborn and refusing to get married, but then I am his mother too, I will see that he gets married to her."

The announcement had the aunts in a twist, unexpected and disappointing fodder for their gossip mills, while Aabha stood confused, unsure as to what to think of her once-upon-a-time-future-mother-in-law. 'A unexpected godmother,' she thought, a bit later, when Supriya had dragged her away and insisted that Aabha retire to her room, saying that she could see how tired Aabha was, though she did give a hug and assure her, "I did mean everything I said to them, I will have you as my Shaurya's wife."

That night Aabha cried herself to sleep, wondering why she did not have even a fraction of faith that Supriya had, both in Shaurya and his love for her.

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The third day was the day of the Sangeet, which Aabha adamantly refused to take part in, she was not a dancer and she knew that with the depressed mood she was in, would only dampen the fun the rest would have; she was also ready to beg and plead and seemed relieved when everyone excused her. The entire morning had been another agonising session, for Ishaani had given her the dress which she wanted her to wear; Aabha had almost collapsed under the weight of the ghaghra, though it was not only the physical weight which burdened her. What bothered her the most was how identical it was to the one Ishaani planned to wear as a bride, the design and richness were similar with only a mild difference in colour. None of Aabha's reasons or pleas found sympathy with Ishaani, who had the last word by saying that if Aabha refused to wear the ghaghra, Ishaani would get married in the clothes she was wearing at that moment, which was a pair of pyjamas and an old t-shirt. Aabha gave in but decided to extract payback by not attending the Sangeet.

She sat on the beach, at little distance from the house, just far enough so that she could not hear much of the music or the laughter.

In was in that cool sea breeze that she realised the many types of fire that consumed her. The first was the smouldering embers of her love for Shaurya, a constant eternal burn; then there were the flickering flames of remorse as she recalled how she had hated Shaurya for Tanushri; the slow molten boil of regret for being away from everyone whom she loved; the dull heat of her lost hopes of finding love and the desperate blaze of her consistent mistrust of fate.

"You do not mind, beta?"

She raised her eyes to see Shaurya's father bending over, she could make out the concern on his face and she smiled, "No Papa, please."

Pratap Singh Rathore was not blind to what was unsaid between his son and Aabha. Most people tended to dismiss him, he never blamed anyone; it was by choice that he stood perpetually in the shadows of his brother with an air of indifference. But that did not mean he did not notice everything around him, he chose to let his brother take the lead and all the decisions. Yet there were times when he left those shadows to come forward and today was one of those times, for whatever his elder brother was, he was not Shaurya's father, he knew why Aabha was forced come back and he knew that in a matter of hours Shaurya would be told everything. He was aware of the turmoil Shaurya would undergo, a torment that only Aabha could release him from, which she could if she mastered her own demons.

Aabha and he sat in silence for some time and she was surprised that she felt as comfortable as she did with Shaurya though she noted that he did not look much like his son. Finally Pratap said, "Beta, most of believed that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control over what is happening to us and that our lives become controlled by fate. Do not make that mistake; it is the world's greatest lie, for everything we do or do not do is our choice. And remember, every woman has the exact love life she wants." 

He rose, patted her head and said, "Thank you, my dear, that even today you address me as 'Papa,' I hope you will consider me as one for the rest of my life too. I know it is selfish of me but I am a father first."

And once again Aabha found herself with only the sea for her company, though her heart had yet another fire, the torching anguish of being helpless to keep alive the hopes of a father.

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The air was a fragrant yellow and rang with the laughter of the ladies as they anointed Ishaani with the haldi and chandan paste, who glowed in the pale lemon saree she had draped. A little distance away, Aabha sat, clad similarly in a vibrant yellow saree, her hands held out as the mehendi artist set out to create the patterns. In spite of her heartache, Aabha smiled as she remembered an incident from the early days when she had found a family.

Her Dadi had come home and given both of them gift-wrapped boxes, which they had excitedly opened to find identical jewellery sets. Ishaani had screamed in delight and had immediately gone to her room to try it out, while Aabha sat overwhelmed, at both the gesture and the quite expensive pieces. Her Dadi had looked at her and questioned "what is it; do you not like my selection?"

Aabha had shaken her head vehemently and said, "No, Dadi, it is beautiful, but then if you had not got this for me, Ishaani could have had an even more expensive one, it is not fair that she has to give up even her jewellery for me, and I also have what my Maa and Dida got for me."

After what seemed to be a long silence, her Dadi had sat beside her and said, "To tell the truth, I also thought the same, but could not convince your Baba and Dadaji who were firm that both of you had to have an equal share in the jewellery I would buy. But after hearing you, I am happy I did what they wanted, you are also my granddaughter. And now I will be honest with you too, I cannot promise I will be able to love you as much as I love Ishaani, but I will always be fair with you. And do not worry so much about Ishaani; her mother has also left her a sizable collection. So please, now be a good girl and try this set, for me?"

That night Ishaani had wanted to know how Aabha would feel if both of them got married on the same day, considering that their Dadi wanted everything equal and similar for both her granddaughters. Aabha had shrugged, "I really do not care, as long as I am getting married to the person I want, it makes no difference to me. Heck, I think I would not even mind being married in one of those mass marriage ceremonies, you know, those simple ones? But what about you?"

Ishaani had thought for some time before she had slowly answered, "Actually, I have always dreamt of those elaborate wedding ceremonies, but now that I have discovered that I have a sister, I would love to share the dais with you. It might be nice too; Baba could have both his daughters married off at the price of one wedding. And it is a great idea, we could coordinate both our dresses and the jewellery and all the other accessories. Further, if we got married to brothers, nothing could beat that, right?"

And so here was Ishaani, hoping her dream of a fairy tale wedding and her wish of both the sisters getting married at the same time would come true, though she admitted the impossibility of the same. Yet, she still requested Aabha to at least participate in the haldi and mehendi ceremonies as though she was a bride too. Aabha was not so sure, but she felt that it was the least she could do for her sister. And which was how Aabha also found herself being slathered by the fragrant haldi paste, all the while wondering what exactly she had gotten herself into.

And that is all about 'Somewhere in Time' - mostly about the sisters, but then it does give a hint as to what could happen, right? And we also have to find out about Shaurya, which is up next, a short chapter. In the meanwhile, do let me know how this update was, I love all feedback, good or bad.

love,

Nyna