"I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind, I'll do it all for you in time,
And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now"

~Ed Shereen - Lego House~  

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Dr Sanyukta Chowdhary removed her glasses and slowly polished them with the specifically provided soft cloth; it was as though she hoped that the cleaned glasses might provide her with greater insights in dealing with the specific case. She took her own time, despite the eager, expectant faces of the patients, or rather the family members of the patient; she felt a childish glee in noting their exasperation at the time she was spending on what they thought was a mundane task. In her long and distinguished career spanning over three decades, she had never come across such a bizarre case, which was unusual, as the case in itself was quite simple and straightforward. 

What had rendered it bizarre was the very evident fact that the patient, Mr Shaurya Pratap Rathore had attended only the first five of the recommended counselling meetings, the remaining sessions were attended by the various family members and had exceeded the recommended number of the sessions too. Initially she had been puzzled, then curious and later, was simply too overwhelmed to raise any protest. But somewhere along the way, over the past two and a half years, as she later admitted to herself, her fascination and admiration for the Rathore family compelled her to continue with the meetings, which from the beginning to end were completely dedicated to answering their questions, addressing their concerns and firmly dissuading them from implementing dramatic methods to help Shaurya recover his memories.

Today the representatives were Reyansh and a young lady she had not seen before and she patiently listened as Reyansh summarised his observations regarding the changed behaviour of his brother. "Doctor, my brother has changed quite a bit and it is worrisome. He was not like this before; he was a fun-loving guy and had a perpetual smile but now seems to have forgotten that very word. He no longer spends much time with us, does not mingle with friends anymore and appears to be quite curt at times. I know that memory loss cannot change the character of a person, but we cannot deny that he is no longer that warm and sunny person we once knew; in fact, I would say that he has become cold and slightly ruthless. My family is so happy that he is physically and mentally fit that they do not even notice it and when I try to say anything they blame it on work pressure."

She sighed and said, "Mr Rathore, you are right. Amnesia affects a person's ability to process and retain memories. If a personality change happens, that's not because they have amnesia. Personality and memory are controlled by two different parts of the brain. So the short answer is no, this could not possibly be on account of the partial amnesia. But that said and done, it is a fact that Shaurya has lost his memories of the incidents that took place in his life for around two years, which could be insignificant as a time span but then the events and their emotional quotient could affect his overall personality and behaviour.

The memory part of the brain would not be able to recall any images of those incidents, but then there would a constant reminder that he has forgotten some part of his life. It would be like an itch which cannot be scratched and it would leave anyone frustrated. How we deal with that frustration would determine our behaviour and your cousin, rather than sink into depression, has busied himself with work. He is physically fit and mentally stimulated but somewhere, emotionally, he is still unable to fill the void he feels."

Dr Chowdhary turned towards Ishaani and said, "Yes, my dear, you want to say something?"

Ishaani swallowed and said, "I am not sure of how relevant it is but I think you should know. Shaurya fell in love with my sister and they would have been married if he had not undergone the surgery. Unfortunately, he does not remember anything about her. What I want to understand is that if by chance my sister came in front of Shaurya or they interacted with each other, would it cause any traumatic episodes in Shaurya?"

"It has been more than two years, so it should not, my dear, those mind-numbing flashes and screams of agony are usually limited to films. But then, it is always better to err on the side of caution. How did he react to her presence when he first regained consciousness?"

Ishaani said, "He simply did not recognise her and that is when we knew that something was wrong. When the doctor came back with the diagnosis of partial amnesia, all of us adopted the typical course of action and Aabha, my sister, herself decided to stay away from him. We have shown him a couple of photographs of her, but other than not being able to recognise her, he has not displayed any other adverse reactions. On the other hand, we cannot deny that he has changed and I think that somewhere in his heart, unknown even to his mind, he misses the woman he no longer knows."

Dr Chowdhary looked at Ishaani and gently asked, "You appear to have a very perceptive grasp of the problem, why do you not talk to your sister? Maybe if she comes here and interacts with him, he might recover his memories. Even if he does not, her presence might calm him and give him some emotional peace. And your sister would also like to be with the man she loves, right?"

Ishaani sat in silence, contemplating what the Doctor suggested, she knew her sister quite well, Aabha would never come back for herself and she would not be back as long as she knew that Shaurya did not remember her. She sighed; Aabha would have to be convinced to come back for someone or something else.

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Shaurya looked again at Reyansh, still unable to find any reason as to why they were attending a seminar on Mathematics, neither of them had any interest in that subject nor did they know the speaker, one Dr A Sanyal. Shaurya had been not been very enthusiastic and Reyansh had appeared quite cagey when asked questioned as to why it was so important that they attend this seminar; finally Shaurya decided that it was a very small thing that Reyansh had asked of him, so had just given in.

Shaurya had come to rely a lot on his cousin lately and was delighted on seeing Reyansh taking up every additional work-load without a murmur of protest. Shaurya knew that Reyansh had always been a pampered child who appeared to have retained the carefree attitude as he had grown up. But that was also because Reyansh could get away with that predilection, Devansh, his other cousin, had a responsibility to grow into, being the eldest son whilst Shaurya had a determination to prove his mettle, to himself and the world. Reyansh never had either the role or the determination, so he had always taken everything in life lightly. However, something changed during the period Shaurya was recovering from his surgery, and he would often joke that he had woken up from his surgery to find his baby cousin, all grown up, serious and responsible. But he loved the transformation in Reyansh, especially when he noted that Reyansh had grown quite capable and could manage the projects and teams very efficiently. He still retained his jocular attitude, though that turned out to be a charming trait and one which endeared him to his team and colleagues.

Smiling at Reyansh, Shaurya wished that the rest of the family had undergone a similar positive transformation and that everybody would stop treating him like a fragile soul who would drop dead if the wind speed increased from a gentle zephyr to a mild breeze. He knew that he had a surgery and had lost a small chunk of memories, specifically of the two years before his operation, and that in a very clichéd way the doctors had advised his family not to traumatise him. Which was why when he had asked for Nisha and had been upset that she was not there for him, he had been a little bewildered at the discomfort with which his family had greeted that question. They took three months to tell him the truth, and that was also quite accidentally, Reyansh having decided that the truth would hurt less than all the conflicting excuses they had been making to him.

He could still recall that moment, the varying expressions of anguish and horror on their faces when he learnt that Nisha had got married around eighteen months prior to his surgery. Surprising everyone, he had not faced any emotional turmoil on hearing that news. What he had not confessed was that he had felt relief on hearing that news, which had confounded him no end. From then onwards, his family at least stopped walking as though they were treading on eggshells though they would always stop in between random conversations and look at him expectantly as they hoped that something had triggered a flood of memories. It only infuriated him and after another three months, they had simply accepted that his memories of those two years were lost in perpetuity. 

Shaurya had learnt almost everything about his work life and had quickly picked from where he had left off. He busied himself with the ambitious expansion project, which had started off with the acquisition of a single lumber mill and had, in turn, triggered off a sequence of acquisitions with the risky plan of backward integration of the same. The numerous weeks of travelling and long hours of discussions allowed him to focus on work and avoid thinking too much about what else had occurred in his personal journey in those two years.

He did not remember anything about his personal life either but there were inconsistencies in the recounting of the events of those two years and there were also faint echoes of some incidents but were too hazy and fleeting for him to make any coherent assessment of them. And then there was that constant nightmare, the one he had never spoken to anybody about, a nightmare from which he always woke up in a cold sweat, unable to make out any sense of the dark images that he dreamt about.

He had met Ishaani, Reyansh's fiancé, five months after his surgery and had liked the shy and soft-spoken girl who so obviously loved his cousin. Her love was evident from the way she took Reyansh's name in a slightly breathless way, as though she wondered how she could have such a man in her life and the way her eyes lit up at the very mention of Reyansh. Nor was Reyansh's love for her hidden, Shaurya was pleased to note that his kid brother had grown to be such a mature person. But what surprised him was their steadfast refusal to get married. Contrasting personalities that they were, they were very strongly unified on that single fact; their marriage was contingent on some event, an event which again had his family retreat to the 'walking on eggshells' mode.

The most frustrating and bewildering incident had been the one when he had come across Ishaani and Reyansh, sitting in one of those garden bowers that adorned their garden, wistfully going through the album containing their engagement photographs. In response to his outburst as to why Reyansh and Ishaani were not getting married, his much-harassed cousin had simply thrust the album at him. If they had hoped that the album would reveal all the secrets of the universe, it had not done so.

Shaurya had gone through the photographs perfunctorily and had retorted, "Now what, how does this answer the question as to why you guys are not getting married? And please do not parrot that statement, 'how can we, when you being the elder brother are not getting married?' I will get married once I meet the girl I can fall in love with."

Reyanshya had looked at him with a mixture of anger and pity and Ishaani had resorted to her typical reaction, tears filled her eyes as she entreated, "Jeeju, I mean Shaurya, could you please to through them carefully?"

He had stared at her but before doing as she requested, asked, "What did you call me?"

Aghast, a very flustered Ishaani said, "I said 'Jethji', I know you do not like being addressed as such, I am sorry, but could you just see all the photographs again?"

And so Shaurya had gone through each of them, flipping over each page with deliberate slowness, paying very detailed attention to each of the photographs and nothing seemed to leap to the eye. A few were interesting and it was on the last page that he saw a photograph of a couple, he paused and asked, "who is she?" 

He could not take his eyes off that photograph of him and an elfin woman, both of them dressed in coordinated traditional attires and looking very comfortable with each other. 'She is beautiful,' he thought, 'more on account of the inner goodness she radiates which enhances all her exquisite features.'

Ishaani replied, "That is Aabha." 

When he did not answer but kept looking at the photograph, he was unsure of the emotions that seemed to shine from the faces in the photograph, Ishaani hesitantly added, "The two of you were good friends, do you not remember?"

A slightly long update, right? And it is not exactly a cliffhanger, either. But do let me know how and what you liked or disliked, for I welcome all feedback, good or bad.

love,
Nyna