"Life has a way of testing a person's will; either by having nothing happen at at all or by having it happen all at one time."

~Paulo Coelho~

_____________________________________________

For a few minutes, an uncomfortable silence reined; Shaurya did not say anything, he allowed Aabha the time she would need to pull herself together. Grateful for his understanding but worried that he might offer a word of comfort, Aabha hastened on. 

She gave a small smile and continued, "There is more, my mother moved back to this city a few years ago, as the town we stayed in did not have any suitable college for me to pursue my B Tech and by one of those strange coincidences, we rented a house near the place where my biological father lives. His wife had died during childbirth and he has a daughter, a year younger than me. Being neighbours of sort meant we were often thrown into each other's company and soon my parents decided to resume their love story. This time, his parents could not raise any objection, especially when his daughter supported the match."

Aabha's voice softened and her eyes shone, "Ishaani, my half-sister, is one of the best things to happen to me; she is sweet and soft-spoken but can be determined when she wants something. She literally bulldozed our grandparents into accepting both my mother and me. My grandmother did not like me much initially but she is superstitious and when my father's business suddenly picked up after he married my mother, she decided that I was the lucky charm. She did start to love me too, though not as much as she loves Ishaani, I did not care. I finally had a full complete family. Those two years of having a complete family were the best years of my life, Shaurya, it was like I had the whole world in my hands and the cynicism that so clouded my life was slowly relegated to the background. But then as I said, nothing lasts forever.

My father was determined to make up for what he labelled as his lapses and soon went around finding suitable Marwari matches for me and finally selected one, Reyansh Rathore. Nice guy, good looking, decent brains and already working in his family-run enterprise. I did not love him but then I never believed that love existed and though personally did not like the idea of being married, I agreed to whatever my parents said, I just wanted my family to be happy."

Aabha took a small breath and continued in a small, fond yet wistful tone, "Reyansh was fun, easy to talk to and full of spirits, though sometimes I felt the lack of seriousness in him as a slight drawback. I had also met his family when they came over once, all of them except one cousin; he was away on a two-month business trip. It was a large family, bhaiya, bhabhi, chacha, chachi and cousins, a family that lived together and where all the members loved each other. I was fascinated by that family and that I could be a part of that family was one of the reasons I was agreeable to the match. Everyone seemed happy with the alliance.

Reyansh and I rarely went out, and the few times we did, my Baba insisted that  Ishaani accompany us. She was shy; both by nature and on account of her conservative upbringing and Reyansh would go out of his way to make her comfortable. I really did like that side of him and was actually happy that she was there, it made the conversations easier amongst us, in fact, after a couple of times, whenever we met, both of them would talk and I would bury myself in my books.

Around three weeks before our engagement, Reyansh apologised to me, saying that he would not be able to go ahead with the engagement. He was quite frank, he said that I intimidated him a little and he was not confident of being able to keep up with my intellect." 

There was a slight disdain in her voice as though she did not believe what Reyansh said about her. She continued but it was in a subdued voice, "But that was not the only reason, for he confessed that somewhere in his attempts to help Ishaani come out of her shell, he realised that he had grown too fond of her and was falling in love with her. He apologised profusely but said that he could not go through the engagement, he did not even want to tell Ishaani about his feelings and he was sure that his love story with her was doomed even before it started, but then there was no way he could marry me."

Her voice tightened as she went on, "I later confronted Ishaani; she too admitted to the attraction but refused to entertain a man who could not keep a promise, despite us not being engaged, she considered him promised to me and there was no way she would even think of him, otherwise. I cannot convince her otherwise, though I know that sometimes she cries herself to sleep at night, torn between her loyalty for her sister and love for a man she will not admit. What is her fault in all of this? If we had not come into her life, she would not be in this dilemma.

My Baba supports Ishaani; he is livid with Reyansh's attitude and states that he will not allow the very mention of his name in our house. My mother feels that if I do not care and Ishaani admits to liking him, we should consider getting them married. And my grandmother refuses to take sides, she says that both her granddaughters are right in their own way, and if she chooses one, it would be blaming the other. And my grandfather decided that keeping his silence is the best approach.

For the past three months, every single day is a battle in our house, carried out in absolute silence or vehement arguments, leaving us in anger or tears. There is such a strain on our relationships and the silence in my house is so oppressive that I am scared of going home, which is why I spent most of my time in this coffee shop doing my work here. Yet, even here, all I keep thinking is how it would be, if only we did not come here, if only Maa and Baba had not met again, if only Reyansh was not so honest, if only Ishaani was not so stubborn, if only my parents did not argue on this point, if only my grandmother takes a stance, if only my grandfather speaks up...there is no end to the if onlys that run through my head."

Aabha then looked at Shaurya, unshed tears sparkling in her eyes and challenged him, "Tell me, Shaurya, why should I believe in love and its beauty when I have seen the pain it causes? My family is cursed and sometimes, I think it is contagious, it has rubbed off on my sister. Irrespective of the reasons or rationale, the women in our family never get the love of the man they love. I do not want such heartbreak, so forgive me if I do not subscribe to your views of true eternal love and the clichéd concept of soul mates. They do not exist. Now do you understand why I do not believe in love?"

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

'No wonder her name sounded so familiar,' he thought, the moment he had heard the name Ishaani a slight dread had taken root, 'too much of a coincidence,' he thought. And when she had completed her tale, he realised that he had also unwittingly played a role in her heartbreak. She did admit that she did not love Reyansh but there must have been a small pain of rejection, and then there was the hurt she felt for her sister, which was still visible in her eyes and the way she stiffened her shoulders when she had been recounting her tale.

He sighed, "What happened to you is tragic but no, I still believe you are making a mistake. However, let me tell you one thing, only one thing, and if you are still willing to be in my company after that, we will make another deal."

Aabha nodded, wondering what he would have to say that could make her detest his company.

"My name is Shaurya Pratap Rathore."

"Okay," said Aabha, wondering what was to be frightened or detestable of that, quite puzzled as to why he thought that she would dislike him for his name. Then she looked at Shaurya who was apparently waiting for a reaction from her, she shrugged and said, "So what do you want me to do?"

Shaurya closed his eyes, she definitely was not going to make anything easy for him, he had spent all the time listening to her tale wondering what her reaction to his family name would be and she did not even appear to have registered that fact, let alone make the connection. It was irrational, he felt, he hardly knew her but somehow making a good impression on her seemed to matter a lot to him. 

However, he knew that she needed to be told and Shaurya believed in upfront brutish honesty, so he elaborated,"I am Shaurya, Reyansh Rathore's cousin and I am partly responsible for his decision not to marry you. Reyansh came to me for advice, he was not sure of what to do. He knew that the families wanted him to marry you but then he had fallen for Ishaani. He was not proud of it, he had not spoken to Ishaani about it and he did not know what she felt for him but he was not willing to go through the farce of an engagement. I was the one who spoke to my family and the one who ensured that your engagement did not go through. 

Aabha,  I do not believe in marriage of compromise or convenience, two people should marry only when both love and respect each other; which is why I advised Reyansh not to go ahead with the engagement. I am right in my beliefs and still stand by the advice I gave Reyansh, but then I did not, not even once, think about what you must have gone through."

Shaurya felt guilt and shame sweep through him as he watched her sit in silence; and for the first time, hated himself for not being enthusiastic enough about Reyansh and his then impending engagement, he had been so preoccupied with Nisha that he had not even bothered to ask for a photograph. It was his turn to rue, if only he had seen Aabha's photograph, he might have introduced himself a little differently.

Aabha gave no indication of what she actually felt; she continued to stare at him, her initial indifference slowly changing to consternation. She slumped into her chair without a word, she knew what he expected her to do, be angry with him, accusing him of ruining her life but then she was tired. And she actually did not care, in fact, if she could, she would have hugged him for breaking up her proposed engagement. Reyansh was a nice person but their attitudes and outlook towards life were in absolute contrast, further, he was slightly narcissist and would not have been able to accept her sarcastic wit either. 

However, she was not going to give Shaurya the satisfaction of knowing that; some part of her wanted someone to blame and as he appeared willing to shoulder the burden, she just sat quietly, with a frown on her face. 

And that completes both their stories. How do you think Aabha would react to this? Do let me know your thoughts. Please remember all feedback, good or bad is welcome.

love,
Nyna