I've woken up with a headache, wanting to stay in bed all day, the sheets undone and my hair messy. My room was turned upside down. I don't beat myself up to tidy my room. I beat my self up making a fuss. My parents left early. «When we are all on vacation we will have free time to be together.» Free time, they said... My free time, I have it for myself. And because I don't want to have it only for myself, I spend it with those who do want to be with me.

Surely, there would be more than one who wanted to be with me and is not and, if others knew me, they would give everything to know me more. Like the blonde girl last night at the disco. I don't know how she was called, but I fucked her twice. I have neither her phone number nor her Instagram account, in fact nothing more than a moving selfie, with only purple and blue lights on the faces in the shadows. We were surely talked about by all those who entered the women's bathroom and heard our gasps and moans in the next door, which moved against the closed bolt.

We heard groans and laughter, and we didn't give a shit. We also laughed. Nightclub booths have always seemed dirty to me and I don't usually drop by unless I'm very lost that night. And, with lost, I mean drunk, placed, without knowing where is the exit door. Lost, like those times when my head can't control my fingers and that I can't even put on a condom.

Last night I didn't care about anything. I ended up going home in Jules's car. I don't even remember how I got back. I know I was having fun and I also know I that ended up throwing up on the road. My friend woke me up by throwing at least half a bottle of water on me. By the time my parents saw me arrive, I was practically awake. Awake to stagger down the hall, but awake. I was lucky to find Jules and not the other idiots. Out of the group of idiotic friends I have, the more reasonable is him.

But I don't know if I am the most suitable person to talk about reasonableness. I think that all my calm, and the only thing that kept me a little more serene, was gone a long time ago.

The best of it all is that I haven't stop. Despite the hangover, my desire to do nothing. I've gone to the bowling alley with my friends. Luckily, this time, we are here because Finn's light went on and had the idea. Lately, there is nothing they do if I don't say it previously. I related what I experienced last night. Of course, Jules had not missed the worst part saying that this time I was the zombie, to which I replied that I went a little bit far and mixed too much. I don't know how my friends always have a good part and a bad part in themselves that drives me mad. He were lucky that his car ended up clean and I didn't load upholstery. The plans to go out always end up leaving us great moments, but also playing tricks on us.

I don't stop that much at my house, only when my friends come and my mother prepares a snack as if they were still ten years old. But generally, we prefer to go somewhere together. Being at home is something different. My friends are not the typical ones who stay with me to play a video game, watch a series on Netflix, a movie... To kill time just doing that, there is no time. And I'm not a friend of boredom. In the end, we ended up in a Burger King that we went to in my convertible. For that, to go running in «Jack's convertible», they are always ready.

I am sitting next to Stacy, with the hamburger in my hands, where I look because I do not want to pay attention to my friends, who speak at the same time, commenting on the score of the bowling, boring me with their high voices. But, of course, there is always a bigmouth. And, in that case, Patrick takes the prize:

"So this one ended up fucked up yesterday at the Montezuma London Club, right?" Says the asshole, making me look at him in a way that must surely scare him, judging by the look on his face and how he immediately jumps saying:

"Hey, quiet, don't look at me like that."

"It's that you're prat, Pat." I just say, taking a bite out of my burger. 

But that's not enough for him. When he sees that I'm more or less normal, even though Jules tells him that I 'only got annoyed because I have a lot on', he relaxes... and laughs heartily. Something that makes me angry and, with my mouth full because I can't wait to swallow, I look at him.

"What is so funny?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"You were saying that we ended up like zombies, but you ended up the same yesterday". Patrick replies with a laugh. Something that makes me end up leaving my appetizing burger on the table.

"I already told you why it was, man."

I answer sitting up in the chair I was practically lying on, seeing how, at the moment, Jules becomes tense ready to put peace between the two of us and Stacy looks at me while the others shut up to put all their attention on us. There is an awkward silence, but Jules ends it with a laugh.

"Come on, guys, nothing's wrong. To be angry about something like that is bullshit." He says.

I decide to take a deep breath and continue eating like nothing has happened. But I don't think that Pat, the funny one, who is always trying to draw attention, will stay silent. And, in fact, he speaks.

"He must be pissed off because I knocked down the bowling pins at the first try." 

"Man, really? I don't get pissed off by that kind of bullshit", I answer, wiping my mouth with the napkin and preparing myself to hear all of his silliness, but he surprises me with something I didn't expect to hear instead.

"It's true. You get mad at other kind of things involving fagots", he says smiling, as if he just got an applause.

And the truth is that he has a good applause in all his face. The discomfort it makes me feel causes me a very deep inner heat and it even puts a knot in my stomach, just as if I had been given a kick inside.

Pat is one of the typical kind of person who always manages to screw everyone he wants with the slightest foolishness. And he knows exactly what words to use to attack me by making me remember things I don't want to remember. But I don't want to argue with him. We all know how he is.

Jules, Finn, Stacy and Evelyn look at us both. I think they look at me first and foremost.

I don't know how I am when I hear someone call me while I stare at Patrick, taking a deep breath and barely blinking.

"Fuck off, Pat." I finish saying by standing up.

"Hey, man! Where are you going?" I hear Jules saying while I circle that table.

"To my house." I answer because I don't want him to ruin my day.

I know he's sorry that I'm leaving, though I hear Pat's stupid laughs and the girls' silence. But I can't turn around and punch him in the face, ending up creating a mess in the middle of the Burger King.

I just stick my middle finger out as I walk to the door listening to him say «for your ass», that blows me up.

And he is still talking when, as a self-interested person, he asks others how they go home without my car. Something that doesn't matter to me.

In the end, I finish alone, in my blue convertible Lamborghini, angry at everyone and nobody because, with whom I am most angry, is with myself.

I am only three minutes from my house, the only place where I feel like being now.

I have woken up wanting to stay in bed all day.

It was what I should have done. If I've done that, I would't have caught Pat on his worst day, he wouldn't have bothered me with things that annoys me, and everything would have been better.

The car travels fast on the road, but I go faster than my car. I feel more adrenaline inside me than the speed gives me and all because of the anger I have.

If I had broken his mouth, at least I would have let off steam. But I have to control the speed on the road because it is not allowed. And neither should one friend be allowed to screw another. And, surely, when the nonsense passes, he will come to bother me on WhatsApp, he will invite me to have a drink or, to one of his parties in his chalet, and he will pretend as if nothing had happened. But that is not always enough because, at the slightest, he will jump with one of his silliness.

★

Corrections by _AlbaEscritora_ and  Rachaellouise99

Thank you so much, girls!