When you are truly comfortable with someone, you don't need useless small talks to fill the silence. You can simply enjoy the silence, without worrying the other person will feel awkward with your silence.

I watch Alec as he rests with his arm over his eyes. After quietly watching him for a few minutes, I look around the place. It is a moonless night, but still, it is not dark. Everything is clearly visible and thankfully, there are no mosquitoes.

Alec should not mind if I go exploring this place.

Quickly, I turn back to Alec to find him in the same position, probably, he is fast asleep. Quietly, picking up a water bottle and a sandwich, which he has packed in his big picnic basket. I slowly try to to get up, without making any noise.

Taking a few steps away from him, I glance back with a victorious smile on my face.

When I am certain he will not wake up, I start making my way towards the cliff edge as I remember seeing a small path that was going towards the bottom.

"If you had your few minutes of fun, you can come back now." I hear Alec's amused voice.

"Weren't you sleeping?" I frown and look at him while walking back.

"I know you enough to not to let my guards down around you," he says as he props himself on his elbows. "One minute you are here, and the next minute you are gone." He clicks his fingers.

"Hey! You are making me sound like a troublemaker." I glare at him to which he just lightly laughs.

"I would not call you a troublemaker, but it is true you have some fondness for troubles," he says with a teasing smile.

I chuck my water bottle at him and give him a sweet smile when it hits him direct on his shoulder.

I may or may not have thrown the bottle with my full force.

"Fuck!" He half-yells and rubs his shoulder.

"Language." I smile at him with dramatically batting my lashes.

He glares at me for exactly one minute, then he shakes his head while sighing as he mutters something.

"Close your eyes," he orders abruptly.

"Why? Are you going to slap me?" I narrow my eyes at him jokingly.

"I will never raise a hand on you." He looks slightly offended even if it was just a joke.

"Then why are you suddenly asking me to close my eyes?" I raise my eyebrows.

"You will know once you have closed your eyes. So now, please, close your eyes," he pleads.

I close my eyes and sit patiently. A shiver runs down my spine when the wind blows, as I can sense everything around me. It is like just by closing my eyes, my body gets in tune with my surroundings.

I hear some shuffling beside me, I assume Alec is trying to look for something. Soon his hand grabs my hand, making me open my eyes in a confusion.

"You are one impatient girl." He lightly chuckles as he clasps a bracelet around my wrist.

Raising my hand to my face, I inspect the bracelet. I smile when I see small charms hanging around it.

Shake my hand and lightly laugh when they make a tinkling sound.

"You like it?" He asks with a small smile, but I sense his nervousness.

"I love it!" I throw my arms around him, pulling him in a hug.

Momentarily his body stiffens, then he returns my hug by wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Thank you." Pulling myself back, I smile.

I love getting gifts, mostly because there are not many people who gift me. It is not about the price or size. It is simply the thought of somebody invested their time, to make me happy, matters to me the most.

And my happiness is doubled because I got something when I was not expecting it. I am already happy with this impromptu picnic and getting this beautiful bracelet multiplied my happiness.

"Avery, I have to tell you something." Alec hesitantly looks at me, instantly my heart drops in my stomach expecting anything bad.

Masking my expression with a neutral one, I nod my head prompting him to continue.

"I will be away for a while, maybe, I will not be even able to talk to you." He slowly speaks trying to judge my reaction.

"You are going somewhere?" I ask calmly, keeping my emotions at bay.

Honestly, I feel like screaming because I don't want him to go. I don't like the idea of not talking to him. Last time, when he disappeared I was mad at him so it was easy to ignore his absence. But now, it is different.

The thought of him leaving me is making my heart twist unpleasantly. I can almost feel tears pricking in my eyes. But I never cry in front of others, it makes me feel vulnerable... exposed. Taking a quiet deep breath, I focus on my breathing to regain my emotions.

"Yes." He nods his head, not explaining anything further.

I don't ask any other question, because whatever I will ask, somewhere I already know the answer to it. He will not tell me anything more than he has let me know. Either he can't tell or he doesn't want to tell. In any way, I will be in dark.

"Will you come back?" I can't stop myself from asking this question.

This is my worst fear. People leaving me. That's is why I mostly not let anyone get close to me, because I am always haunted by the thought that they will leave me at some point.

"Of course, I will." He frowns, then his expression softens, "This is home, where else will I go? I will always come back." He softly says, encasing my hand in both of his hands.

Forcing a smile on my face, I glance at him. Even though I don't want him to leave but I know whatever it is, it is his work. I should just trust him and his words.

He will not leave, he will come back.

"Can you take me back home?" I ask him in a steady voice, wanting nothing other than to be in the comfort of my home.

"There is no hurry to go back home, we can stay here for a little longer." He presses, in hope to change my mind. "I don't have to leave until tomorrow morning."

Tomorrow?

Hearing this my eyes snap back to his, as his stare firmly holds mine.

"No, I want to go back." I shake my head and mumble, tearing my gaze away.

The sooner I will get away from him, the quicker this heavy feeling in my heart will subdue. My wait for him will start, and there will be a hope that he will return soon.

Otherwise, every moment from now will only increase this heaviness, as each moment will only remind me that he will leave soon.

Not wanting to talk to him, I just walk back to the car and get inside the passenger seat. A few seconds later he puts all the stuff in the backseat and sits behind the wheel.

He doesn't start the car as he simply stares in my direction. But I keep my gaze fixed on the dashboard in front of me. When he realizes I don't want to talk, he let out a long sigh and drives the car back home.

There is an indescribable feeling of loss when I think about not talking to him. When I used to be away from Pops and Kris, we use to talk daily. Every year Kris used to give me twelve letters for twelve months, with strict instructions to read each letter each month. I have never felt away from them, it was like they were with me all the time even if we were physically away.

But this is not like that, because I know I will not be able to talk to him for God knows how long. I will not know anything about his whereabouts and there is no way I will be able to reach out to him.

He might be thinking that I am angry with him, but I am not. Honestly, I am trying to deal with all my feelings which are driving me insane.

Leaning my head against the window, I close my eyes while swallowing the invisible lump in my throat.

Soon car comes to halt, licking my lips nervously, I open my eyes and glance at him. His fingers drumming on the steering wheel while his eyes are fixated ahead. I want to say something but I don't know what to say.

Clearing my throat, I open and close my mouth while thinking about what should I say.

"Umm..." I bite my lower lip, "Thank you for tonight, I really enjoyed this impromptu picnic."

"And also thanks for this bracelet." Looking down, I run my fingers on the bracelet.

"You have already thanked me for this." He lightly chuckles, which sounds forced, while running his finger across my wrist.

"Avery, speak to me, tell me what is going on in the little head of yours." He lightly taps my head.

"Nothing." I lightly shrug.

"What have I told you about lying to me?" He raises his eyebrows at me, "I will always know when you are lying."

"Tell me, what happened?" He holds my hand making me look at him. "You don't want me to go?"

"No, it is not like that," I say quietly while shaking my head.

"So, you want me to go?" He questions, a flash of hurt flickers through his eyes.

"No." I sigh.

"You are answering no to both things." His lips tilt upward in a half-smile.

"I don't know, I just want to go home and sleep." My frustration starts to surface because I can't answer him honestly. Because I know it will not change anything, he has to go and he will go.

Pulling my hand from his, I try to unclasp the seat belt. I become more irritated when I figure it is stuck in the latch because the corner of my shirt got trap in it.

Harshly, I tug my shirt while trying to release the belt from the latch. Another pair of hands start working on the seatbelt trying to unclasp it as I pull the corner of my shirt.

Our heads are almost touching as we are trying to free me from this damn seat belt.

Groaning, I slightly lift my head, at the same time Alec looks up and tries to say something as I hear the click sound of the seatbelt. That is the moment when I register our nearness as, accidentally, our lips clash.

My eyes widen while I nearly freeze in the seat, as my heart is hammering fiercely against my ribcage. Alec also looks shocked, his entire body stills and I am terrified beyond thinking.

This is not how I imagined my first kiss. I accidentally lost my first kiss.

It is not exactly a kiss but still, whatever it is, I never imagined something like this in my wildest dreams.

Getting some of my senses, I slowly try to pull my head back in hope of this is a dream and we will not remember this embarrassment of mine.

But, nothing can make me forget what has happened next.

Wrapping a hand around the back of my neck, Alec pulls me back to him while capturing my lips with his own, before I can pull my head back. A loud gasp leaves my lips, as he gently moves his lips against mine.

I swear I died and came back because my heart stops beating altogether then it remembers to beat again.

His other hand moves to cup my cheek while slightly tilting my face as he continuous to kiss me. I can't help, but notice the softness of his lips as they glide across mine. My eyes involuntarily close when he caresses my cheek before I know my own lips start moving along with his. Goosebumps cover my skin as I feel myself pulling more towards him, wanting nothing but to be closer to him. As if reading my mind he moves his hand from my face and wraps around my waist dragging me towards him.

But as soon as that happens siren goes off in my mind removing the haze in which I am. My eyes snap open and I instantly pull away from him as my hands fly to my mouth.

My eyes feel like they are going to pop out of the socket, as I watch Alec with wide eyes. We both seem breathless while my face burns with embarrassment.

I freaking kissed Alec!

I actually gave my first kiss to Alec!

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