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IX ... nerves
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FLASHBACK — NORTH HOLLYWOOD, CA, 1976

8-year-old isabella monroe laid in her bedroom, flipping through her mother's vogue magazines. as she turned the pages of the magazines, she admired the different outfits that the models wore, each one different as she turned the page. she had always thought about how beautiful the designs were and the thought of designing clothing had often crossed her mind.

"bella, i thought i had told you to get ready." lisa said as she entered the young girl's bedroom. as bella walked to her closet, her mother noticed the magazines and smiled. "i didnt know you liked vogue."

"how do designers design such pretty dresses?" bella said as she walked out of her bathroom and sat in her vanity as lisa began to do her hair. "the fabrics they use and the colors are so beautiful."

"well, think of fashion designers as artists. all artists need inspiration and many of these designers get their inspiration from different people, places, and sometimes objects around them." lisa explained to her daughter. "they also try to fit a certain color scheme by using similar fabrics for their designs."

"mom, who designed your dress?" bella said as she sat in her vanity chair, examining the fabric of her mother's dress.

"this is a de la renta." lisa smiled as she stood in front of her daughter and modeled the dress for her. "he's a popular designer."

"i really like the fabric he used." bella smiled as she admired her mother's expensive de la renta. the little brunette's smile faded as she looked at her dress. "i wish i was wearing a dress like that."

"when you get older and when you start going to parties, you'll need a dress like this one." lisa smiled. "there's gonna come a time where you're gonna outgrow these little dresses and you'll start using designer, maybe for a party or even for your senior prom."

"when i grow up, i wanna be a designer or work for a designer." bella smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. "but i mainly want to design."

"i'm sure you will, honey." lisa smiled. "and who knows? maybe one day, i might be wearing something from you collection."

"i'll call it "bella" just like me." bella giggled as she stood up from her vanity and walked downstairs.

"you can call it whatever you want because you'll be calling the shots." lisa smiled. "one day."

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

PRESENT DAY — VAN NUYS, CA, 1990

a now 22-year-old isabella monroe stood in front of her bathroom mirror as she brushed her damp hair after getting out of the shower. she sighed as she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, her nerves tightening up in her stomach.

today was her interview and it was safe to say that she was very nervous. she took a deep breath as she continued to brush her hair. she walked back into her bedroom, where johnny laid in bed, still asleep. bella walked to the closet to grab her clothing and placed it on the bed, then softly turned on the radio.

johnny softly groaned and turned to his side, only to find it empty. he opened his eyes and stretched as bella walked back into the bedroom, smiling once his eyes landed on the brunette.

"morning gorgeous." johnny smiled.

"morning honey." bella said as she sat down next to her boyfriend, placing a kiss on his cheek. he smiled as he intertwined his hand with hers, as she softly smiled.

"you're nervous." johnny said as he played with her hand. "your hands give you away."

"wouldn't you be?" bella sighed as she stood up and softly paced around the room. "i only get one shot at this."

"and you're gonna be fine." johnny said as he sat up and got out of bed. he wrapped his arms around bella as she wrapped her arms around him as well. "you're gonna kick some ass, trust me."

"can't i just stay here, with you and in your arms?" bella sighed as she looked up and into johnny's eyes.

"you're really gonna let a little bit of fear get to you?" johnny chuckled.

"yeah, yeah; i know what you're gonna tell me." bella laughed, rolling her eyes. "fear doesn't exist and more shit like that."

"well, the bella i knew was fearless." johnny laughed. "what happened that time you freaked out about failing the english final? you passed with an A right?"

"shut up, it's not the same." bella laughed as she broke from his embrace and headed to back to the bathroom to do her hair. "besides, i only freaked out because someone decided it would be a good idea to take a break from studying and have sex instead; twice. you're lucky english was my strongest subject, next to history."

"yeah, i remember that." johnny said as he stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching bella fix her hair. "i also remember the lucky hickey someone left on my collarbone; i passed with a B minus."

"you sported that thing as if it were a badge of honor. just because dutch said it was lucky doesn't mean it was." bella laughed as she began to do her makeup. "you studied for that test and you should've seen the proud look on your mother's face."

"you know, i talked to mom and she mentioned how happy she was for you. she also told me that she knows you're gonna get the job." johnny smiled as he watched his girlfriend walk from the bedroom to the bathroom, and back.

"you all have way too much faith in me; you, laura, my folks, the girls and guys. and although it's flattering, it's also scary." bella sighed as she looked at her reflection in the bedroom mirror. "if i don't get this job, i'm gonna feel like i let you all down."

"we'll still love you." johnny smiled. "you're gonna be fine."

bella sprayed some chanel onto her skin as she took one last look in the mirror at her outfit. she took a deep breath and walked out into the living room, where her boyfriend was standing. as she grabbed her purse, she noticed her boyfriend's gaze on her.

"what's wrong?" bella said, as she looked down at her clothing. "is the corset top too much? or is the blazer not–"

johnny cut her off and placed his lips on hers as she smiled into the kiss. she wrapped her arms around him as he pulled her closer to him. "you look beautiful. don't sweat it." he said as he intertwined his hand with hers. "you ready?"

"i guess so." bella sighed as she exited the small apartment.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

"i'm not ready." bella sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. "i feel my stomach twisting into all these knots."

"you're gonna be fine. trust me." johnny smiled as he held bella's hand and softly placed his lips on hers. "i'll see you later. good luck princess, you're gonna be great."

bella smiled and exited the red firebird. she waved goodbye to her boyfriend and walked into the building. once the elevator reached her floor, she walked to her cubicle, where she found jenna on the phone.

"give me a sec, she's here." jenna said to the person on the other line, before turning to bella.
"so, how're you feeling?"

"fucking terrified." bella sighed.

"so, chrissy's on the line, she called to wish you luck." jenna said as she handed the phone to bella.

bella sighed as she held the phone up to her ear. "hello?" she said as she sat down into her chair.

"good morning hon! good luck today, how're you feeling?" chrissy said through the phone.

"beyond nervous." bella said. "thanks for the call and thanks for being so supportive."

"you are gonna be great today! just take a deep
breath and kick some ass." chrissy said. "we love you, bella. best of luck! see you later."

bella hung up as she took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. she took small sips of her water bottle as jenna sat on the side of bella's desk. "you're gonna be great. they're gonna love you, i know they will."

"i hope so." bella smiled as jenna's phone began to ring again. she reached over to answer as bella began sorting through some remaining files that were placed on her desk.

"it's jimmy. he wants to wish you luck." jenna smiled as she handed the phone back to bella.

"hello?" bella said as she held the phone up to her ear.

"morning bella, how're you doing?" jimmy said on the other line.

"well, you know, the nerves just won't go away." bella softly smiled. "calling jenna this early?"

"c'mon, i only called to wish you luck." jimmy chuckled on the line. "we've only been on one date."

"i'm joking, but thank you though." bella said as her phone began to ring. "hold on, i'm getting another call." she handed the phone back to jenna as she reached for the phone. bella tensed up as she looked at the time, then back at the ringing phone.

"hello?" bella sighed as she nervously twirled the phone cord through her fingers.

"miss monroe, we're ready for you."