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XLVIII .. too young to fall in love
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FLASHBACK — ENCINO HILLS, CA; 1984

it was a bright sunny day, just like most days in the valley, but the sun wasn't shining through johnny's window like it normally did. he laid in bed, with his stereo blasting music, thinking about his breakup with ali. they had just broken up a week ago, but he was still hurting. he loved ali, with all his heart, but he won't deny that he messed up and because he messed up, he lost her.

johnny seemed to mess up a lot when it came to love. he was bad at love, there was no doubt about that, but he tried and although he tried, he failed. he wasn't a good boyfriend to ali and he took her for granted. he felt his eyes burn with tears as he ran a hand through his hair.

mötley crüe's too young to fall in love played as he turned to the side and heard a soft knock on his door. "honey? are you okay?" laura said as she slowly walked into the dark bedroom. there was no response from johnny as laura walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"honey, i'm so sorry." laura softly whispered as she lovingly looked at her son, who was broken-hearted. "have you tried talking to her? i'm sure she'll come around."

"she won't take my calls. she won't see me." johnny sighed. "she hates me and i don't blame her."

"it's gonna be okay, hon–"

"is it really, ma?" johnny sighed. "because i always fuck things up. i lost her and it was my fault."

"maybe it was, but there's gonna come a time where you're not gonna mess it up. john, you're gonna find a girl, who loves you despite your flaws." laura said as she was close to tears. "she's gonna come around, honey."

laura embraced her son as she felt her son's tears on the skin of her neck. she tightened her embrace as the stereo continued to play. as his mother exited the room, he got back under the covers and softly closed his eyes while he listened to mötley crüe.

too young to fall in love,
i'm too young

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

PRESENT DAY — LOS ANGELES, CA; 1990

johnny let out a sigh as he leaned his head back and closed his eyes for a second before one of the guards came into the holding cell. "lawrence! you're out." the guard yelled as johnny stood up.

the officers walked him out of the cell and took him to fill out some paperwork. as he was finishing up, he turned to the side to find bella, her eyes red and puffy as if she'd spent the night crying, his heart dropping as they made eye contact. he couldn't face her, not after he spent the night in jail with public intoxication charges.

he couldn't find the words to say to bella as she looked up at him, with what seemed to be a mix of sadness and anger in her eyes. "bella, i–"

"not here." bella said as she grabbed her purse and walked out of the police station. "we'll talk about it at home."

the drive to van nuys was quiet. bella cleaned the small tears that fell from her eyes as johnny seemed to be hungover from the night before. as they arrived, bella got out of her white mercedes as johnny followed. upon arriving, he walked to the fridge and grabbed a banquet. bella scoffed and grabbed the bottle from his hands.

"what the hell is your problem?" johnny said, with a slight slur in his voice. "what's up your ass?"

"here's what's 'up my ass'." bella said as she turned to her boyfriend. "the fact that i had to go get my boyfriend out of jail. the only reason you got lucky is because i lied and posed as your wife and that got me thinking: is that why you wanna marry me? to have a wife that can get bail you out anytime you get fucking wasted and do some stupid shit, huh? is that why you want me?"

"i didn't ask you to lie for me." johnny said as he raised his voice. "i didn't even ask you to come get me. you could've left me in there for all i care."

bella was taken aback by his choice of words. she felt her eyes burn with tears as she quickly dried her tears. "i wanna think that's the leftover alcohol in your system talking." bella sighed as she sat down on a kitchen stool. "you had me fucking worried. why didn't you call me?"

"you don't trust me, do you?" johnny said as he stood in front of her.

"i didn't say that–"

"just answer me, isabella–"

"i do-i did, but right now, you're making it really hard for me." bella said as she began to cry.

"you don't trust me." johnny sighed.

"do you fucking blame me?" bella said raising her voice. "look at you! you went out for a drink then came out with public intoxication charges. what if this happens again? what the hell am i supposed to tell your daughter? daddy got drunk and landed in jail?"

"don't fucking start, isabella." johnny said, raising his voice. "don't bring the baby into this and give me the guilt trip."

tears streamed from bella's eyes as she looked up into johnny's eyes, in anger and disappointment. "you don't fucking get it, do you?" she cried.

"get what?" johnny said.

"i'm terrified of losing you." bella said, with tears streaming down her eyes. "not everything's about you, john. every time you walk out that door, i'm afraid you're never gonna walk back in. you got away with a fine and a night in jail, but next time, you might not be so lucky. i'm scared of losing you, but you don't seem to give a shit."

"bella–"

"i-i'm scared." bella said as small tears streamed out of her eyes. "maybe marriage isn't a good idea. you're 23. you should be living life and partying, which is something i feel you're not ready to give up and something i feel that i'm taking from you."

"w-what are you saying?" johnny said, lowering his voice and gaining consciousness of the situation.

"i'm saying that i need to think and so do you." bella sighed as she grabbed her purse. "call me when you figure it out. i'll accept whatever you decide, even if it hurts."

bella walked out of the apartment and into her car. after sitting in the car for a few minutes, she dried her tears and drove to the nearest payphone.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

"what happened now?" jimmy said as bella sat down on his sofa, while he slipped a t-shirt on. "did you guys break up?"

"no, i-i hope not." bella said as she cried. "i just had to get out of there. he's not right, jim. he's different."

jimmy embraced bella as jenna walked out of the bedroom in one of jimmy's shirt. "oh shit-did i interrupt something?" bella laughed as jenna took a seat on the love seat.

"not really." jenna chuckled. "what do you mean he's different?"

"i just feel he doesn't care." bella said as she sobbed. "he's been so distant, ever since we found out the baby was a girl. i know a guy like him could never settle down, especially with some chick he got pregnant. i guess i just expected too much from him."

"you two are gonna be okay." jimmy said. "you two always are."

"i really hope so." bella sighed as she cried. "can i crash here? just while he and i figure things out."

"are you sure you don't wanna talk to him?" jenna said.

"i'm sure." bella softly smiled as jimmy pulled her in for a hug, she held on to her best friend who almost felt like an older brother. "thank you."

while bella stayed at jimmy's apartment, johnny sat in the living room as he listened to the radio, which was ironically playing every rose has its thorn. he walked to the bedroom and got into bed, missing the warmth that bella's body radiated. he wanted to wrap his arms around her and cuddle with her, but she was gone. he felt the tears fall from his eyes as he turned to the side and closed his eyes as his mind raced.

you fucked up, once again.

she hates you and i don't blame her.

she won't marry you after this. you fuck everything up.

you always fuck things up.

always.