I don't see Cas for the rest of the week. I don't know if that's me avoiding him or him avoiding me. I suppose it's the latter since he knows where to find me and I have no idea where he spends his days. I'm not even sure if he and Olivia are back at their old place. They'd rented it to various couples throughout the year, but I hadn't seen anybody in there in a while.

     Lately, I've been heading out early on Friday's, usually to go complete some Weston's After Hours task. Weston's After Hours started out as a whim; I'd played around with the idea of bringing food to the menu, maybe going bistro-style, but I wasn't passionate about serving Turkey Clubs and Avo Toast. I tossed around some other ideas — a Private Weston's food truck, buying out a restaurant or sous-chef-ing on my day off (Ashley was adamantly against it) — before I settled on a pop-up restaurant at Weston's, after hours.

     It seemed doable at the time, even more doable as I planned it, but now that the opening night is in sight, I'm starting to think I'm in way over my head. (This may, in fact, be a result of Cas's return, but I'm not ready to admit that.)

     I decide not to do any Weston's work and take the rest of the Friday off to get some other things done. I go to Home Depot for brown bags and some stakes for my Halloween decorations and then swing by the grocery store on my way home. 

     I peruse the aisles slowly. I'd probably benefit from making a grocery list, but I like the act of looking at everything, thinking about what I can make with it, filling a basket full of food. It soothes me.

     I make it to the frozen food aisle before I run into Cas. He's rounding the corner and I have half a mind to back out but it's too late. We've made eye contact. There's no hiding.

     He makes a sound, shakes his head upwards like he's signaling to god that he should smite him. "Oh, today is just the gift that keeps on giving."

     I frown, wanting to ask what happened. What about today has been so unforgiving. It's not my place to ask, though. Instead, I say, "If running into me is going to be the end of the world each time, maybe we should designate days for the grocery store."

     I'm joking but Cas says seriously, "Maybe we should."

     Hurt and trying not to appear hurt, I respond, "Okay, I'll take Fridays and you can have all the other days."

     "Why should you be able to get what you want?"

     I grit my teeth. "You want Fridays? You can have Fridays."

     "I'm not sharing custody of all Aurora with you. That's juvenile."

     "And yet you keep acting like it's such a hardship to see me."

     "It is when every time I see you I have to fight the urge to punch you in the face."

     That comment smarts, mostly because Cas has never been moved to violence before, even in situations where he certainly should have. "Then punch me in the face, Cas. If it'll make you feel better, go right on ahead."

     "Nothing's going to make me feel better, Christ." His voice echoes in the aisle. A woman at the other end turns and looks at us. "And great, now we've made a scene. I'm sure that'll get right back to Olivia. Fucking great."

     Him referring to his mother by name halts me momentarily. I think of what Olivia had said. Mean. He's mean now. I did that. I say helplessly, "I don't know what the solution is here."

     "The solution is me getting the fuck out of this town."

     I frown. "Well, that's not really an option now is it."

     Cas stares at me, maybe trying to understand the meaning behind my words, wondering if I know that there was no other option but the hospital here for work.

     "Did you talk to my mother?" he asks, voice low but pointed.

     "What do you mean?"

     "Un-fucking-believable," he says with a shake of his head. "Y'know you were a better liar five years ago."

     I have to bite back my retort. I don't have the right to be mad at him, I decide. Or hurt by his hurt because I did the hurting first. "Maybe I'll stick to honesty from now on, then," I say instead, tone light.

     "I'm sure you will, so long as it's convenient for you." Cas reigns it in. I watch with mild interest and shock the way he pulls his expression to neutrality. I wonder if he sat in front of a mirror practicing that trick. He used to be so readable and now at a blink of an eye he can null and void his whole face. "Anyway, this conversation has overstayed it's welcome."

     He side steps me and walks past without another word. I stand there, unable to cool down even with the freezer door still ajar, the frigid air whirling over my skin.

     Running into Cas again has the exact effect I nearly expect it to. My sleep Friday night is few and far between; I turn restlessly and eventually decide to just get up and do some more work for Weston's After Hours. I manage to get the menu and wine pairings together for opening before I head into Weston's for morning prep.

     There's no secret special amount of coffee that can make up for a whole night's rest missed. In turn, I spend most of the morning in a fog that doesn't go unnoticed and by mid-afternoon I'm just irritable and a pain to be around. I've never been very good at maintaining my mood on missed sleep, even though sleep is one of the first things to go when I'm having a hard time.

     Once Weston's is closed I waste no time heading home. I feed Delta and Charlie before taking them on their respective walk and then change and head out to the gym. I do a combination of weights and cardio, figuring if I can burn myself out from both ends I can get some sleep tonight. I nearly brain myself during an aggressive olympic move, but it's for the cause.

     It's nearing midnight when I finally call it quits. Every muscle in my body feels sanded down, feels like shaved ice, not even really there. I'm on my way home when I decide to stop at the WaWa in town for something to drink. 

     I'm standing in the doorway of the refrigerator, staring at all the different protein-rich and electrolyte drinks. My hand hovers along the row, unable to decide.

     "Just get the chocolate premier," a voice says and its Cas's voice, of course.

     I glance at him, feeling like I've been caught doing something more intimate than deciding on a protein drink.

     "You know if you get the Muscle Milk you're just going to end up regretting it and the vanilla is too sweet."

     He's right about all of it. Of course he is. I grab the chocolate Premier.

     "Thanks," I say stepping out of his way. He opens the fridge door and pulls out the largest can of Red Bull. I cringe outwardly. Stuff is disgusting. Cas is in his dark scrubs again, this time with a light fleece jacket over top. Aurora Memorial Hospital is printed in the corner of it. "Getting on or off?" I ask.

     Cas jolts, looking at me like he hadn't expected me to say anything. "Still on," he says. "Just on break."

     "Oh. Overnights are an adjustment," I say, thinking about my own experience working them in the military.

     Cas trails behind me as I walk up to the register. "I'll say," he says.

     "Just this?" the cashier asks as she rings up the protein drink.

     I glance back at Cas who's a few steps back, waiting his turn. "And the red bull, please."

     The cashier's expression is dry as she turns her head and stares at Cas, at the drink in his hands. He steps forward, setting his drink down. "Uh, thanks," he says, not expecting the gesture.

     After I pay, I hand the drink back to Cas, take my receipt, and start for the doors. I haven't even really stepped outside when I feel the sharp spray of liquid across my arm and back. It drenches the side of my face, smelling too sweet and feeling sticky on my skin. My first thought is that Cas has just thrown his drink on me but when I turn, I see he's struggling with the exploding can.

     "Fuck," Cas is saying as he holds the can away from himself. It's spraying like a fire hose, drenching the front of him so that his navy slacks are spotted black. "Sorry, did it get you?"

     Most of the liquid's hit me in the face. My eyes are burning something lethal. I rub the back of my forearm across my face trying to alleviate it.

     "It's fine," I say, but I've got the one eye closed that's taken the brunt of it.

     "Let me get you a towel," he says quickly, turning and heading back inside before I can stop him. I follow instead, trailing behind him to the back where the bathrooms are. It's a new Wawa, so I'm not surprised they have gender neutral bathrooms. Cas tries the first door, and steps inside. I walk in after him, rubbing my knuckle into my eye. The stinging's alleviating but my whole face feels too sticky to ignore.

     Cas wets a towel, handing it to me. "Here."

     I dab at my eye with it, but it's not really doing anything. "Can I?" I step around Cas but it's tight in the bathroom and we brush each other's shoulders. I lean over the sink, running the water and cupping some to splash on my face. Cas has a dry paper towel in hand and passes it to me when I finish.

     "Better?" he asks.

     I nod my head, drying my face. I run my hands across my damp hair, pushing it back. "S'probably for the best about your drink. Things like ninety-five percent poison."

     I don't know why I decide to say this. Maybe because Cas is less than a foot away from me and still as beautiful as ever.

     "Just what the doctor ordered," he quips.

     Now that I'm no longer nearly blinded, I expect Cas to make some snide comment and exit. He doesn't say anything, though, just takes a step closer. If there was hardly any space between us before, I don't know what's between us now. Tension, maybe. He doesn't break eye contact as he pins my hips to the counter, bracketing my legs with his.

     My eyebrows go up, but I can't speak, afraid of what's happening, but even more afraid of ruining it.

     "Tell me to stop and I will," he says as he reaches for the waist band of my shorts. He looks at me, tilting his head in question like he's waiting to see if I will tell him to stop. I don't.

     "Mm, that's what I thought," is what he says next and that's about all the warning I get before Cas drops to his knees, dragging my shorts down with him, and takes me in his mouth.