Dedicated to:Books_et_Food

Thank you for being an immensely enthusiastic reader! Your support motivates me highly :)

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"I'm sorry and I believe in you and I'll always be near you, protecting you, and I will never leave you, I'll be curled around your heart for the rest of your life"

~Jennifer Egan

Logan's POV

I gaped horrendously into my stepfather, Logan Walker's eyes as he gaped back into mine. Ignoring the apologetic vibe of his countenance, my immediate reaction was a furious snarl at Claire.

"What the hell is he doing here?" I asked, completely shaken.

"There's something he wants to tell you"

Almost instantly, I snapped "I don't want to know" and turned around in haste. Anything that included my stepfather always turned out to be terrible and I wasn't taking any chances with it again.

"It's about your father!"

I stopped dead in my tracks.

What was more to tell about him? Other than the fact that he's dead and he's gone.

I took deep breaths, shut my eyes close for a minute and then, I looked at them and spotted anticipation in their eyes.

"Please Logan, hear him out" she choked a little, threatening to break down again. If it wasn't Claire and her remorse begging me to do this, I swear I would've ignored him.

"Let's stand in a corner, shall we?" my stepfather asked, ushering me to the side.

Just when I was about to go with him, mom interrupted, clutching my sleeve "He's not going anywhere. Come on son, we're getting late"

"Mrs. Walker, you don't understand how important this is!" Claire protested against my mother as I gawked at her raging self "He needs to know!"

Mom merely spoke "No he doesn't. I know exactly what you're going to say. There's no need to make situations worse than they already are"

I blinked at my mother, wondering briefly what she was hiding from me and suddenly, I wanted to know. I gripped her hand that was resting on my arm and removed it "Mom...what're you hiding from me?"

"A lot" my stepfather said.

Mom shot daggers at him and then glaring back at me, she gave me a sad smile "Nothing important. Let's go now"

But that smile...that smile hid a lot. I could say because I've been there myself. I've gone through times when I smiled at my loved ones even when my heart was a disaster and I wasn't even aware of my feelings that went haywire.

So there was no way that smile was fooling me.

"I'm sorry mom, but I want to know" I cut her off, looking at my stepfather "Let's talk"

I followed him into the corner, every step felt like an explosion of spikes on the soles of my feet. My heart ached from thinking what it was that I was about to know.

My stepfather's gray eyes buried into mine, his facade bereaved. With a deep gruffness in his voice, he spoke "First off, we need to get a few things clear. What is it that makes you hate me so much? I always try to make things better for us and something always goes wrong. Is there something I'm not doing right?"

My lips parted a little. I thought this talk was supposed to be about my father. Shocked, my eyes lost focus, looking away. Did I have an answer for his question? No, I didn't and I realized something that made my insecurities worse.

"No...it was never you" I admitted, my harshness abandoning me "It was always me"

I never realized there would come a day when I'll be apologising to my stepfather, but now it's here and if I had to do this, I wanted to be precise "It was always me" I continued "You never did anything. I was the one who always got offended of the little things. Guess I was just so traumatized that...whenever you tried to teach me something, my pride would take over and I used to think that you were a no-one to order me. Look I'm...I'm really sorry about the way I treated you and I'm sorry to hurt you"

"Logan...you never hurt me" he said after a while "I knew your father's death affected you too much and I let it go, every time. I wasn't expecting an apology. I just wanted to know if there's anything wrong in my path–"

"I was an asshole, wasn't I?" I laughed bitterly "I lived in your house for more than half of my life but still expressed my ego"

"Logan you need to shut up" he voiced "You're my son. It was your house too"

"Look at me! Does it look like I'm thankful for anything in life?!" I spat, but this time, the intensity and those hefty, grief-stricken feelings I contained, coaxed painful tears out of my eyes "That's right! I'm not! So I don't deserve your kindness. You don't have to go through so much trouble raising a fucked up kid! You deserve better. Go out there and have a child of your own...someone who...you should happy to waste your money on. I don't deserve this..."

When I really couldn't handle the vehemence anymore, I stopped talking and instead, dedicated a while to wail to myself.

Out of the blue, my stepfather hugged me. Caressing my head gently as I broke down.

Right then, for the first time in years, I felt it. I felt it again, what it was like to have a father.

"You're my son, Logan" he spoke as I rested my forehead on his shoulder "I've always treated you like my own, even when your father was around. Never think that I'm not thankful of you. I'm more than grateful to have you as my only child and I'm very proud of you"

I pulled away and wiped my tears "Are you doing this for my father?"

His hand found my shoulder and he answered "Yes and no. No, because as I said, I've always treated you like my own. And yes because...just a day before your father demised, he requested me a favor"

"Is this what mom was hiding from me?"

"Yes" he nodded "During that time, your father, Liam's business was facing a terrible downfall. Your mom had just left teaching at Whitney Highschool and he began to face financial difficulties but Logan, he never asked me for help. He always used say that he's going to make it through this alone and that he was strong, which he was. He was an extremely hardworking man but you know what they say – fate destroys the best of people. Things got worse from there, he was going through a lot. He never shared details with me but one day, situations got so out of hand that he requested me for a favor. And do you know what it was?"

I listened intently as he spoke, all the while trying to digest the knot in my stomach. Even though it has been years, the pain I faced the day after his death always haunted me.

He continued with sadness in his voice "He asked me for money so he could provide you with everything you desired. I promised to help him raise you because I've always believed that you were very talented. And just a day after I promised that, he left us"

I found myself shivering from head to toe as I let it sink in – my father was a depressed soul and the only person who extended a helping hand towards him was this man who is now my stepfather. And I've been judging and hurting this man since the time I've known him.

Burning guilt surged through my veins, weakening me more than I had already become. So this is what my mother was hiding – my father's financial difficulties?

"I...I..." I stuttered to get the words out "I'm very thankful and I'm so fucking sorry...I didn't know..."

"It's okay" he smiled through his watery eyes "Now that, your mother is filing a divorce, I'll probably not be able to call you my son anymore. But I'll help you in any way possible although your mother is now very successful and she's capable of taking care of you–"

"Please don't divorce"

"What?" he chuckled "Logan, I can't do anything and you know that nobody can talk your mother out of anything, right?"

Someone suddenly interrupted us "Logan Walker"

Both my stepfather and I looked in the direction of my mom who had walked up to us. She said "I'm talking to senior Logan" she pointed at him "Can I trust you with my son's safety while I'm away?"

Her question caused me to look at Claire. She winked at me from behind my mother, giving me thumbs up.

"Of course" he beamed "I promise you, nothing's going to happen to your son"

My heart began thudding loudly behind my ribs. What was happening? Was my mom reconsidering my stay?

"Fine" mom looked at me "Then I'll be off now...and I might rethink the divorce. Goodbye Logan, don't trouble your father"

Saying that she merely pulled the luggage cart and strolled away and into the crowd of scampering travelers.

I stared astonished at her back and tried to process what was happening. She really just left me be, she actually changed her opinion. She was so unpredictable.

I was so shocked that my mind was whirling into different dimensions and didn't realize that I'm supposed to be happy.

"Well, that wasn't so hard" my stepfather exclaimed.

All of a sudden someone jumped on me, crushing me into a tight hug.

It took me seconds to realize it was Claire and situations just took a massive turn right now. I tried to digest the fact.

I wasn't going anywhere.

I was going to stay here, with Claire and Addy and James and everyone else.

I'm not going to lose a school year.

Life gave me a chance again, to ace my finals and be with the girl I loved even after graduation.

Maybe life isn't that bad.

Intense happiness invaded my body, shooting wildly down my veins. I went crazy as I hugged her back, laughing and burying my face into her beautiful blonde hair again.

Its been so long, so fucking long since the last time I genuinely felt happy and laughed with complete and utter joy. It wasn't a hysterical laugh, it was a laugh of victory, a laugh of delightfulness. I felt it all throughout my body.

"Oh God Logan, we did it! We did it!" she jumped, cupping my face in her hands.

She went on to say something but my hearing failed me as I stared into her eyes and realized how much I loved her.

A smile formed on my face knowing that she was mine, the girl in my arms whom I've always adored so much...she was mine.

My father wouldn't want me to be a depressed boy who contemplates his life in a horrible manner. He went through so many struggles just so he could keep me happy and if I wasn't happy then he must be ashamed of me.

Yes, life threw stones at me from every corner until I fell on my knees but I never gave up. I once thought of taking my own life but I know now, how stupid it was.

And the girl I was looking at – she made me happy. She was my home. She strengthened me.

When she hugged me, I felt her heartbeat which was in sync with mine. I breathed a sigh of relief, rubbing her back, kissing her hair.

"I love you, Claire" I said, caressing her head lovingly "I'm so sorry for acting like a dick. I'm really sorry. I also promise you that I'll never leave you again. I'll always be here to stay, always"

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Phew *wipes imaginary sweat*

So tell me what you thought!

Don't hate me for all the sentiment and sadness XD I'm sorry if I put too much misery into the story...

The spin-off prologue will be up along with 'Always's Epilogue.

Next chapter will be a little calm and I think you guys need some time to calm down too! XD

Thank you for the immense love! I can't express in words how much ya'll make me happy :,)

Love, K

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