Jax's POV

"I'm pregnant," she said.

"W-W-What?!" I replied.

She only nodded.

Suddenly, my entire body was hot. I couldn't understand the situation. And then all at once I was breaking into a sweat, I couldn't think straight. Zeta looked as if she was going to start crying. I took a seat beside her.

"It's alright, Zeta. We'll figure this out."

"What am I going to tell everyone?" she choked.

"Our friends will understand." I assure her.

"I know that they will," she says "but will my aunt? Or my parents?"

I let out a sigh, "I can't answer that..."

~•♥•~

Zeta's POV

Instead of going back to work, my aunt thought it would be better if I stayed at home through this process. She was actually surprisingly understanding about the situation. Jax continued to work, despite his attempt to convince me that he should stay with me.

I told him not to throw his life away like me. He at least deserved a chance to get a life for himself.

I spent a lot of time crying. Or vomiting. Who knew being pregnant would give you nausea. Besides, well, everyone. But all my basic knowledge of pregnancy sort of escaped me when I was the one who was pregnant.

It's strange, though, it's such an awkward feeling knowing that there's a living thing inside of you. I ate... a lot. Which was great because ever since I actually started eating again, food has never tasted so good, and now I can eat whatever I want. With some limitations obviously.

Like raw meat, but I mean, who in their right mind would eat raw meat even when they're not pregnant?! Or deli meat, certain fish, smoked seafood, soft cheese, and pretty much anything else raw. Again, why would you eat raw food in the first place!?

Anyway, I mean, I'm excited-and scared-to become a mother, but I made a mistake and my consequence is this. But I'm making a promise to myself to never ever even let my child think for a second that he or she is a mistake. Because that feeling for a kid is just horrible.

And I am going to make sure that he or she is going to get the life I never had. I will use all of my power to give my kid the best life possible.

Eventually, my first ultrasound came up and Jax came with my aunt and me to find out if it was a girl or a boy.

The doctor was putting that goo on me when I looked over at Jax, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" I asked. He just chuckled, "I honestly don't care. Which do you want?" I tapped the side of my stomach, "I kind of want a girl."

"Oh," he says "Do you have any names picked out?"

I nodded, "Adelyn for a girl and Kadan for a boy."

He snickers, "Why are you picking out names that won't be on Disney land mugs?" he teased.

"I paint the name on a mug. Why buy one at an amusement park when you can get one for $10 cheaper? And Emerson gave me the idea actually." We both laughed "What about you? Have you thought of any names?"

He pretended to think, "If it's a girl Diana and if it's a boy Dexter."

I gave him a look, "You just came up with those right now, didn't you?" he laughed and nodded before the doctor came back in.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Williams." he introduced himself. Then he comes up to the monitor and gets this wand thing rubbing it on my stomach. "Can you feel the baby moving?" he asks. I shrug, "A little bit." He stares at the monitor, "Hmm..." Then he looks back at me, "How many weeks are you?"

I count the weeks in my head, "I'd say fourteen or fifteen weeks." He puts on his stethoscope and puts it on my stomach, "Would you please take a deep breath for me?" I did that a few times before he returned to the monitor.

"Is everything alright?" my aunt asks. The doctor sighs, "I'm not sure." he admits "either the baby is just being completely still or she's... dead."

I nearly broke into tears, "But wait... didn't you hear a heartbeat? I've felt her moving just today! What's going on?" The doctor tried to calm me down.

I was supposed to be happy about the fact I'd just figured out I'm having a girl, but now the doctor is telling me she might be dead!?

"Some babies die in the womb before they are born. Its called an intra-uterine fetal death. It can happen during the last half of pregnancy or, more rarely, during the labour and birth, when it is known as intrapartum death. However, in this case, since you're still really early on the pregnancy, it's not common for a miscarriage. Sometimes a heartbeat just isn't picked up. I recommend that you come back tomorrow, just to be safe."

I sniffle and nod, "Alright." He cleaned me up and we got ready to leave."Thank you, doctor." said my aunt. "No problem."

I was completely silent the entire car ride home. I was just praying that my baby was okay. I don't think that I can handle more trauma in my life, especially right now.

Right when I got home, I got in bed. I needed to be left alone. First I had all of these doubts like I'd the baby was Jax's, if I should keep it, or whatever. Then I went through nausea and other crap. And now I might have to come to terms with no baby at all! I can't do that! It hasn't been too ling, but I can't loose her now.

I guess it's just the void in my heart. And maybe it can be filled with a baby. Maybe I just feel that way because of all the crap that I've been through. I just want a family. A real one that loves me, and I want to have that with Jax.

Now I'm not so certain that that's going to happen...

~•♥•~