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Going Through The Motions II

Okay, so I tried to tone down the angst a little. Might still be a bit sad but things are looking up for Caitlin.

...

Caitlin Snow awoke to the harsh screech of her alarm clock. She soon pulled herself from her sleeping state and turned it off.

Caitlin knew what day it was before she even opened her eyes. She just wanted to burrow back under the covers and forget the world. But she couldn't, she had a wedding to attend. Caitlin rolled over and stared up at the dark ceiling.

It had come time for the second installment of the West-Allen wedding, the last one hadn't quite taken. Just before Barry and Iris were about to say their vows, there had been a potentially world-ending crisis. In all honesty, it was probably a good thing everybody had been there.

Caitlin sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She wasn't sure if the second wedding would be harder because she had to go through it all again, or if it would be easier because she knew what to expect.

She told herself she just had to go through the motions. She knew the routine, she didn't have to feel anything, she just had to do it. She had to smile, stand by the bride, and be a good friend. Then when she got home that evening, she could cry as much as she needed to.

Then she could move on, and use her pain to build her walls twice as strong.

Besides, she knew she had bigger things to worry about than her feelings. She had her powers, and Amunet to worry about. She had a whole host of problems and threats to deal with, the last thing she needed was to be hung up about her best friend.

Caitlin hated how love could make us all impractical sometimes. She had decided a long time ago she wouldn't let how she felt do that to her. She had promised herself she would never endanger someone else's happiness to ensure her own.

Caitlin took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She was ready to face the day. Just as Caitlin stood, her phone dinged. It was a text from Barry, asking her when she wanted to meet.

As Caitlin picked up the phone, a smile ghosted across her features, Barry and her had planned to go patrolling. Meanwhile, Cisco and Wally would help make sure the wedding preparations went smoothly. Caitlin had found she liked patrolling, it made her feel like she was using her powers for good. Which in turn, made her less afraid of them, resulting in her having better control. It was a good cycle for her.

Caitlin quickly typed a reply and began to get ready. She was going through her motions with a bit more enthusiasm.

...

Warmth from the styrofoam cup seeped into Caitlin's hand, contrasting the cool morning air around her. She was sitting on a rooftop, Barry next to her. He was drinking a frosty and finishing a donut.

The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, casting slanted light on the city below. Killer Frost and the Flash had already stopped two criminals and had even apprehended a meta-human. Caitlin sipped her coffee, smiling as the golden shards of light warmed her.

"It's still freezing, " Caitlin commented, glancing a Barry, "Just because I got a Flash Coffee didn't mean you had to get a Killer Frosty."

Barry sipped his frosty loudly, ignoring her. Caitlin just chuckled and shook her head.

"Yes, I did. That's what friends do," Barry finally replied, "Besides, they're really good."

"Well, thank you. Yours is pretty good too."

Barry smiled, the light getting caught in his hair as he did.

After a few moments, Barry set down his drink and stretched out on the rooftop. Caitlin decided to follow suit, staring up at the pink-tinted clouds. She mentally noted that there was a chance the weather could be bad later.

"You know, it feels like it's been forever since we've done anything," Barry spoke after a while. "You know, just the two of us."

Caitlin turned to look at him, her head resting on the cool concrete. "True, but things have been kinda crazy for a long time. There just hasn't been a lot of time for stuff like that," she explained.

"Still, we should make time," he argued.

Caitlin verbally agreed, despite the fact she knew it was highly improbable. The days of drunk karaoke had passed. They had passed long before Barry was to be a married man. Caitlin decided that was okay, things change, it's a part of life. In truth, she was just happy to have this moment. Because she was painfully aware that it would never like his again. Even though she wanted to deny it, she knew things would be different.

So Caitlin smiled and stared up as the prismatic sky. Despite everything, she allowed herself to be content with this moment.

This one, beautiful moment, even if it was the last one she would ever get.

...

Caitlin's footsteps echoed through S.T.A.R Labs as she peeled off her blue jacket, her muscles sore and tired.

She and Barry had just finished their patrol. He had left to go make sure everything else was going well. She would be joining him shortly.

Caitlin was about to retrieve her normal clothes when a gust of wind startled her. Lightning flashed through the lab, coming to an abrupt stop in front of her.

Barry then stumbled forward as if he had been shoved. But the speedster wasn't alone, behind him stood...well, another version of Barry. Except he didn't look exactly the same. For one, he looked older. Not to mention, the Flash suit he wore wasn't like Barry's current one.

"Talk to her," the other speedster spoke.

Caitlin stood perplexed.

"Who are you?" Barry demanded, whirling around.

"Speedy Gonzales," the other Barry answered sarcastically. "I told you, I'm you." He added, "but older."

"Really!" Barry hissed, "We're back to this again!"

"To what?"

"Messing with the timeline!" Barry exclaimed, throwing his hand in the air.

"No," the second Flash replied, "I'm trying to fix it."

"Fix what?" Barry demanded.

"I'm not telling you." The other Barry stated. "Knowing too much about our future is what got us into this mess."

For an instant, the Future Flash's eyes drifted over to Caitlin. There was a look behind his gaze, something she couldn't quite place.

"Barry?" She pipped up.

"Hey, Cait," he gave her a sad smile.

"Tell him," the other Barry added softly.

Caitlin froze. Surely he didn't mean what she thought he did.

Then like a laser, his focus shifted back to the present Barry. "Talk to her," he said with finality.

The other Barry turned and began to walk away.

"If you don't," he paused and spoke over his shoulder. "You'll regret it."

Then with one last streak of lightening the Future Flash was gone. Caitlin felt a lump in her throat, what could she possibly have to do with this?

"Are you gonna go look for him?" Caitlin inquired.

"No," Barry sighed and shook his head, "No, I'm sure he's gone.

"Caitlin, what's wrong?" Barry questioned, "Why did he want me to talk to you, and what did he want you to tell me?"

"I...don't know, " she replied, not wanting to believe it was the reason she feared.

"Come on," Barry took a step closer. "There's something wrong."

"There isn't," she denied, giving him a warning glance.

"Yes, there is. You've been off all week," Barry argued. "And you're biting your lip." He pointed out, gesturing to her.

Caitlin immediately stopped, crossing her arms.

Barry raked a hand through his hair, "Is it something to do with your powers? Or Amunet?"

She shook her head.

"Please, just tell me."

Caitlin sat down in a nearby office chair, heaving a deep sigh.

"I can't," she whispered.

"Why?" Barry asked, bordering on pleading.

"Because it's not fair to you," she spoke quietly. "Not on your wedding day."

"Well, clearly it's important enough that future me came back and kidnapped me," he countered.

"What is it?" He asked once more, catching her gazed.

Caitlin didn't say a word, she just stared, hoping her eyes would do the explaining. She didn't want to say it out loud, because if she did it made it real. If she said it, she couldn't just brush her it off as her own lapse in judgment.

She stared at Barry for a long while. Then watched as realization finally hit him like a truck.

"You..." he started, putting his hand over his mouth

Caitlin just nodded.

"I...I had no idea," he mumbled to himself.

Caitlin squeezed her eyes shut and buried her face in her hands, desperately wishing she was anywhere but there.

"Hey, hey, hey," Barry crooned, kneeling in front of her. "It's okay."

"No, it's not," she shot back, looking up.

"It's not." Tears began to pool in her eyes. "It's not fair."

"Sometimes ours feeling don't play fair," he answered. "Believe me, I know."

"Exactly," Caitlin argued, "you've been waiting for this day for so long, and I'm not gonna be the one to mess it up for you."

"What about what he—I—said?" Barry questioned. "What if it's a mistake?"

Caitlin breathed, "When has changing the past ever worked out well? For all we know it could just end up making it worse."

"Barry, please," Caitlin spoke, giving him a sincere look. "Just go to your wedding, forget all this happened. I promise I won't say anything."

There was silence for a beat.

"What about you?" He said softly. "What about your happiness?"

Caitlin wanted to say that she was used to it. She wanted to say unhappiness was an old friend of hers. But she didn't.

"I'll be fine," Caitlin assured. "I'm happy for you and Iris, you're my friends."

"Please just go, I'll be there soon." Caitlin said. "Okay?"

Barry gave her an apprehensive look, as he rose to his full height. She held his gaze, giving him the most reassuring look she could muster. Then finally, he relented. With a flash, he was gone.

Caitlin stood from her seated position and attempted to calm the shaking in her hands. She closed her eyes and focusing on her breathing, tear streaming down her cheek

I can do this. She mentally repeated to herself.

I can do this.

...

First off I'd just like to thank everyone who read, and for all your comments/reviews you guys are great. There will be one more part to this. Again I have an idea of how it will go, but I'd love to hear all your thoughts and suggestions.

Thank you all.

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