Description: Alternate ending to 2x23.

Prompt: Snowbarry Week, Day 3: Scene stealer (an AU of your fave scene of *anything*)

Hello. So this is my contribution to Snowbarry week. I've always wanted to write an AU where Caitlin was the one that went to talk to Barry on the porch instead (right before he created Flashpoint). Because I honestly think if she had, the results would've been dramatically different.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it. Thank you for reading! :D

...

Everything was quiet and still, so very, hauntingly quiet. There was no laughter, no chatter, nor distant hum of busy traffic. It was just silent.

Barry supposed it made sense, they were all trying to recover from Zoom, even the city. Some needed to recover more than others, and some wouldn't recover at all because they were gone, never to return to this world. It felt as if there was no life, no vibrancy. There was only deathly silence and the pale glow the street lamps cast on the front porch steps.

Barry leaned his head against the banister, drawing in a few shaky breaths. He knew he should be inside with the others, celebrating or whatever he was supposed to do at this point. They had won, they had finally stopped Zoom. But it didn't feel like a victory, not to him anyway. In the end, he had only succeeded in losing more than he ever thought possible. Barry squeezed his eyes shut, gripping the railing tightly.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed like that, but when he next opened them it was to the faint sound of a knock. For a moment, his shoulders tensed and his jaws involuntarily clenched. He didn't have the energy to talk to anyone, not now, not after everything. He was practically running on empty as it was.

But the speedster glanced behind him nonetheless, his eyes falling on a familiar face. Caitlin stood in the doorway, her knuckles still resting against the doorframe. Barry felt himself relax just a bit; if anyone would understand his current state, it would be her. One, because she had always been intuitive like that, and two, because she wore the same brand of exhaustion he did. Zoom had left as many scars on her as he had on Barry.

"Hey," she spoke up, her soft voice a welcomed relief from the quiet.

"Hey," he echoed, his words feeling raw.

"May I?" She inquired, gesturing to the open space on the stairs beside him.

Barry nodded wordlessly, shifting himself to better face the spot where she would be situated. Caitlin moved forward and took a seat, crossing her legs beneath her.

They sat quietly at first, words hanging unspoken in the air. Words like 'are you okay' and 'what can I do' were just on the tip of Caitlin's tongue. He could see it in her eyes and on her face. But despite that, he suspected she already knew the answer to both questions, which was why she hadn't said anything yet. She knew that he wasn't okay and that there wasn't much that anyone could do about it. Well, not without super speed, anyway.

So she seemed to settle for simply being there, in any way she could. For trusting that if he wanted to talk, he would. She wasn't going to push him, and for that he was grateful. Barry drew in another quiet deep breath, feeling the weight of all the loss strain against his already fractured soul.

"I can't stop thinking about him," Barry admitted, his voice almost a whisper. "My dad's doppelgänger."

Caitlin turned her gaze to him, an understanding in her eyes.

"You'd think knowing he was out there would help," he continued, his vision beginning to get misty, "but it doesn't. It just makes me miss him more."

Caitlin nodded and swallowed thickly, taking a moment to collect her words. "After my dad passed, sometimes even looking at pictures of him was hard," she confided, "I can't imagine..." the doctor trailed off.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all this," Caitlin spoke, tears of her own starting to form. "You don't deserve this."

Caitlin briefly cast her gaze downward, collecting herself. He watched as the light from the lamps danced across her features, and a few loose strands of hair fell in front of her eyes. He wanted to tell her everything that was going through his head, what he was planning to do. He wanted to ask for advice, or maybe he wanted her to talk him out of it (or into it.) The truth was, he didn't know. His brain was a jumbled mess of trauma and grief, and he suspected he was going to end up doing something very stupid if he didn't talk to someone soon.

"Do you ever wish you could change it," Barry spoke abruptly, catching her attention. "Do you ever wish you could go back and save the people you lost," he clarified, leaning forward slightly.

"All the time," she admitted, "I think everyone does."

"What if you actually could?"

Barry watched as her mind clicked all the pieces together, and realization dawned in her eyes. He held his breath as he waited for her answer. She paused, taking a moment to consider her next words.

"I don't know what I'd do," she eventually spoke, calmly and carefully, "I know I would want to. I'd want to so badly."

"But," Caitlin added, sitting up a bit straighter. "I hope that before I did, I'd stop and think. I'd think about all the people in my life; my friends, the family I still had. I'd think about the people I loved, and what my choice might do to them."

There was a strange sadness to her demeanor.

"I'd make sure that I didn't lose the family I had by chasing after the one I wanted," she informed, her voice breaking ever so slightly.

Barry nodded slowly, gripping the edge of the stairs like it was a lifeline. He had thought about it, and at first, it seemed like his grief had outweighed those thoughts. However, her words brought them to the forefront of his mind, and he found he wasn't so sure anymore.

"But ultimately, it's still your choice," Caitlin stated, briefly pressing her lips together to try and hold back the onslaught emotions that fought their way to the surface. "Whatever you decide, I will understand. I just want you to be happy, Barry. You deserve to be happy."

Barry looked back up, his eyes meeting hers again. He wondered what he had ever done to deserve her friendship or the kind of unconditional love she had for him. It was at that moment, he realized he couldn't do it. He couldn't go back and change the past, not if it meant that he might lose what he had in the here and now. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't lose Cisco or Joe or any of the others in his life. He couldn't, no matter how much he wanted his parents back. It could end up costing him so much more.

"It just...it hurts," Barry choked out, a stray tear streaking down his cheek. "It hurts and I just want the pain to stop."

Caitlin reached forward and took his hand, her fingers curling tightly around his. "I know," she whispered softly, "I know."

She then wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. He felt the hot sting of more tears in his eyes and tightness of sobs in his throat. In the end, he just cried, and she held onto him tightly, gently running her fingers through his hair.

They stayed like that for quite some time, and she didn't say a word. She never once complained about the awkward position, nor did she make a comment about how wet her shirt got from the tears. She simply hugged him and allowed him to grieve.

Eventually, they separated, Barry wiping the tears from his now red and puffy eyes. After a while, he glanced through the windows, taking note that the others had begun to gravitate towards the dinner table.

"I don't think I can go back in there," Barry admitted, his voice a bit horse.

"Then don't. I'm sure they'll understand," Caitlin replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Maybe you could go for a walk instead," the doctor suggested. "Just a walk, take a breath, clear your head?

Barry nodded, realizing that it sounded a lot better than the alternative. He was a bit better now, but he was still hanging by a thread. He needed space. The speedster pushed himself up off the steps, his muscles stiff from how long he had been sitting there. Barry only took a few steps before he turned back.

"Will you come with me?" He inquired, an unsure note to his tone.

He found he was in a strange in-between now; he wanted to be alone, yet he didn't. And Caitlin had always seemed to walk that line with grace. Even when Barry didn't want to see anybody else, he still wanted to see her.

"Besides, after everything, you could use a break too," he added, a smile ghosting across his lips.

"I'm alright," she assured, and it seemed to at least be a partial truth. "But a walk does sound nice. Thank you," she agreed, cracking a smile that mirrored his own.

Caitlin stood up as well, moving to stand next to him. Then Barry did something that he wouldn't have normally considered, but he did today. Today they were both tired and broken and in desperate need of the love and support that only the other could offer. Barry offered Caitlin his hand, and she took it without a second thought. After that the pair walked away together, slowly making their way down the empty streets.

They had both been broken by Zoom and broken by life. But maybe, just maybe, they could be the ones to piece each other back together.