Naya's P.O.V.
Red Mount 1990

 Ocean always slept in with me if he barged in the night before, even if we didn't have sex, he'd just grab me and let me fall asleep in his arms. Sometimes, we'd just talk all night about nothing and everything.

We weren't like little horny sex ninjas who jumped each other's bones every time we were alone. We were more like best enemies first, even when we were alone, I never stopped mocking him which he got use to over the years.

Sometimes it was scary of how many things we had in common yet we were totally two different people, which always made it a little more difficult to let go of each other.

However, for the first time ever, I woke up alone on his birthday.

His sent was still freshly embedded in the silk fabric that laid across my bed, the cold comforter replaced his warm touch and all the emotions I felt through him last night, vanished into thin air. I slowly opened my eyes hoping he'd be wondering around the kitchen but even with my heightened power I couldn't hear anything and that's when it hit me.

When he said sorry, he was sorry that I wasn't his mate.

My heart clenched and my whole body burned in pain and soreness from last night. I felt like a hopeless little human child, weak and pathetic. It's not like his feelings for me just disappeared but his wolf wouldn't want to touch or be with any other girl that was not his mate.

Which, made perfect sense for me to wake up alone because his wolf wouldn't have been able to handle the close proximity of another she wolf without feeling disgusted.

Three months, all I had to do was wait three more months for my birthday and then I'd be able recognise my mate. Anyone in this pack or outside had the possibility of being my mate but I couldn't wait that long.

I couldn't wait around watching him with someone else. I quickly grabbed our home phone and called, Lea apologising before asking her to come over at six in the morning. Now that my Ocean was gone, she was all I had left. I was still curled up in my bed, bawling my eyes out until all the tears left my system and my heart felt numb.

"Naya?" I heard Lea shouting from downstairs but I didn't have the energy to get up so I waited for her to come upstairs. "Honey ar-" Her sentence was cut short when she saw the state I was in. "Oh god I'm so sorry..." She exclaimed, setting near me on the bed.

"I'm fucked..." I chuckle hysterically.

"Oh honey, I'm here okay..." She smiled leaning down to hug me.

"I think I need to get away for a while." I announced getting up. I hissed in discomfort.

"What wrong? And why?" She asked with a worried expression.

"My whole body is aching and I just need to clear my mind." I explained vaguely as I tried to move, clicking my bones back to place. I remember once I nearly gouged out the skin on off his back. Our sexual attraction scared me sometimes. We could go for hours and still not have enough of each other.

"Gosh this room smells like something... and someone..." She crunched up her nose.

"Yeah... I don't wanna talk about that someone..." I demand sternly while trying to get up until I realise I was naked under the covers. "Erm can you... like..."

"Oh god, ohh lord erm... just get in the bathroom." She suggested getting all embarrassed. "I'll be in the kitchen."

After taking a long hot shower I felt calm and collected again, allowing the soreness to fade away. Putting on a dark blue tank top, black shorts with an extra-long checked shirt, I headed downstairs to Lea. She sat on the kitchen counter filling herself up with some cookie crisps cereal.

"Here..." She poured some cold milk into the bowl followed by some cereal. "After we're done, we'll go where ever you want to."

Her sincerity startled me and her kindness, was truly overwhelming. "Lea... I meant, I just wanted to go for a long run, alone." I sat down playing with a bowl of cookie crisps.

"You're not..." She trailed off looking at me, horrified.

"NO!" I shirked. "God no, I'm not running away, I'll find my mate okay. Don't worry, I just need a break." I paused sighing and turning to look at her. "You know, I thought I'd be very heart broken, which I am, but I still feel a lot calmer now, like, the fact I finally know I'm not his mate..." My heart sank at the thought of it but I still carried on. "It felt like I had my feet stuck in two separate boats and I didn't know which way to go but now I do. And I can move on with my life and not look back." I explained.

"Exactly and when you find your mate, you'll forget about the heart break and everything will be okay." She paused for a while then sighed. "I just wish you would have waited you know... for your mate."

"I know I should have waited but... I don't know Lea, what's done is done, I'm not going to sit here and cry because I know my mate is out there." I gave her a fake smile which earned me an eye roll from her. She knew me all too well.

"I'll only be gone for today while you all celebrate your future alphas' birthday." We've never spent a birthday away from each other even though some of them involved, either him or me, getting smothered with cake at the end.

"I don't want you to go on your own but I understand you need the time to yourself, so I'll let you go but if he asks I'll show him the direction." She half threatened making me frown. "Only because I know he'd turn the whole pack upside down if I didn't."

"Don't worry, I doubt he'll even care." I reassured her, trying to ignore the stab to my heart.

She didn't stick around very long due to school and she left I stripped off my clothes and tied the long t-shirt to my ankle, allowing my long hair to cover my chest. Hiding my shorts and tank top behind a large tree, I changed into my fur skin.

Turning into a wolf after such a long time felt relaxing. My bones cracked itself back to place smoothly. Turning for the first time was painful but I got used to it over time. It became our second nature.

As soon as my paws hit the ground, I took off in full speed dodging every tree that came in my way. In the distance, I heard birds' wings flapping against the wind, their chirps getting quieter and quieter. My paws thudded against ground almost like a galloping horse.

My wolf was somewhat bigger than most she wolves my age, due to the fact I always trained nonstop over the holidays and weekends. I didn't want anyone to question my ability to protect the pack or myself from hunters.

I never wanted to be one of those she wolves who always relied on their mates, cooked and clean like a good girl. I wanted to fight and show people that we were just as capable as boys in our pack. In fact, female wolves were much quicker than males due to our slender form and we could easily take them down in a combat if we played our cards right.

My thoughts got distracted by another group of birds scurrying away at the sound of my thundering paws. Ocean was one of the first in our generation to turn when he was thirteen. He was taken down to the underground dungeons to be restrained with titanium chains while he shifted into a wolf.

News travelled fast but that's not how I knew he was shifting for the first time, I knew it because I felt everything he felt. From every cracking of his bones to his skin ripping apart to adjust into his new form.

I knew that I wasn't supposed to feel that but I did. I didn't even know how or why I felt it. I wanted to ask our parents or one of the elders but I knew I would reach a dead end because they'd just brush it off saying I was just being silly.

I remember how he kept boasting before he shifted, that when he transformed he would be able to take the pain and not lose control. But the howls of pain that screeched across the silent pack that night, said otherwise.

I thought he would torment me regarding the transformation and it made me avoid him on purpose when he tried to approach me. However, in all honestly, I kept avoiding him because I was confused about being able to feel his pain.

Lea held me in her arms that night while I cried and her wise words told me to confront him about it but I knew he wouldn't have believed it so decided stay away from him.

The first few weeks were hard because he kept approaching me with a genuine smile on his face but my brain was too confused to talk to him. So, I'd always leave or purposely hurt him with my words urging him to leave.

Soon he got the message and left me alone which left me disappointed because never once I saw him smile again and soon after he got into his alpha training, decreasing our encounters.

When my thirteenth birthday rolled around, I was somewhat excited and scared about what would happen. Most of all I was curious if he'd feel my pain. Usually on my birthdays he'd pull the most annoying prank however the week prior to my birthday his face was nowhere to be seen.

Although, everything was set for that evening, I didn't make it to my own birthday party. The transformation started already and I was in immense pain. After hours of agonising torture, I was taken home and left there to rest for the next couple of days to heal.

That was the first time ever Ocean climbed through my window. It soon became a daily routine for him. I was stunned and relived at the same time to hear that he felt my pain too. When I told him why I avoided him, he was furious and upset but he quickly composed himself because of how exhausted I was.

He didn't say anything after. Settling down he massaged my legs, arms and shoulders until I fell asleep to be awaken to the view of him sleeping on my love seat at the corner of the room. That was the day when things between us changed.

We kept our relationship the same in front of everyone but we changed when we were alone together. At first it was awkward then nice but soon it became tempting.

I didn't know how long I had been running for but when a flood of over whelming emotion crashed into my heart, I abruptly stop in tracks. Mentally, I cursed my wolf for having light grey fur which made it harder for me to hide away from any threat.

The emotions were over powering. My legs buckle under pressure and I tried to block it out, my mind went on a frenzy survival mode and I started running back towards our pack. Despite the bronze glowing sun peeping through the new grown leaves, I feared my atmosphere, certain that I wasn't alone.

I quickly shifted into my human body and covered myself with the large t-shirt I had tied to my ankle and that's when it hit me. Suddenly my whole inside exploded with intense pain and it physically felt like someone reached into my heart and squeezed it until it turned into the size of a golf ball.

I let my bare knees roughly hit the dry soil mixed with twigs and branches, hands sprawled across my chest over my heart trying to claw it out to make the pain stop. 

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