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Chapter 31
- My Girl -

I was flattered.

What girl wouldn't be?

But I also felt dirty in the sense that, this was not my only date this week.

I whispered profanities underneath my breath.

A date!

I didn't deserve this.

Yes, technically I am single and if I want to go on another date tomorrow I can but something about Demarco changed the dynamics of my conscience.

Going on that date earlier this week, even though I regretted it the second Demarco dropped me off at the school that morning, it made me feel as if I was unfaithful.

Denziel and Patrick showing up was a huge reminder of what I was doing and they only made me feel more guilty.

A bucket of popcorn being placed on my lap brought me back from my rapid thoughts.

He brought enough food to last both movies and he handed me a slushy and a box of nachos.

I thanked him accepting the food as he settled himself back into his seat.

I picked at my nachos, not really all that hungry anymore and wishing I would've went with him to the concession stand to at least pay for half of all this food.

"Are you okay? I thought you were hungry?" he asked after taking a couple of bites of his own food and watching me pick at my own.

"I'm fine" I forced a smile. "This is just..."

He stopped eating all together, curious to what had happen in the 15 minutes that he was gone.

"Talk to me, Clover. What's wrong?"

His use of my name meant he was serious.

Was I just being paranoid?

"They told you didn't they?" My voice came out in a whisper, barely there as I faced my fear.

There was no way that Demarco was left uninformed about that night. Patrick and Denziel were loyal to him.

Even if I begged, I couldn't stopped them from spilling my deepest darkest secrets to Demarco.

Bro's before hoe's, right?

"About Monday?" he paused momentarily thinking, smiled and laughed. "Of course they told me".

He continued on eating uninterrupted. Making light of the situation that only further made me feel like a fool.

If it didn't bother him, why did it bother me?

And more importantly, why did it bother me that it didn't bother him?

Maybe I had Demarco all wrong.

Maybe he didn't see this as a date.

Maybe he only sees me as temporary and was just talking a lot of shit the other night and keeping up on daily appearances just to earn my trust.

Maybe he was exactly like one of those guys that my brothers always warn me about.

I thought back to the time when I meet his parent for the first time and the five of us all had lunch. According to his brother, Demarco at some point did live as much of a bachelors life as the next guy.

Maybe he's still living that life and I just had no clue.

Lost in my own thoughts, I stayed quiet.

I kept to myself as the lights from outside dimmed at all angles and the first movie begun.

I tried to pay attention as I forced myself to eat a little bit more of the food that I was no longer hungry for.

"What's his name?"

It was something he was itching to ask and like earlier his eyes gave him away as he gave me his full attention, no longer being able to focus on the movie.

"His name is not important".

Even though my poorly kept secret was out in the open, I felt an obligation to keep his identity confidential for now.

Demarco was a powerful man, a man capable of murder.

Once again he laughed with a lack of humor in his tone. He was no longer taking the situation so lightly as he was slowly losing control.

"I know what you're thinking. You think I'm going to go after your little friend. Well I promise you that I'm not".

"And how would I know if you're being truthful?"

Nodding his head understanding where I was coming from, he fully turned to me.

"Because you're learning to trust me, just like how I'm learning to trust you".

His words from that night echoed in my head. I hadn't forgotten about our chat but trust was something that took time. He definitely wasn't going to gain my full trust in under a week.

"Believe it or not, I've never lied to you. Yeah, I haven't gotten the chance to tell you certain things about myself due to the lack of time and situational inconvenience, but I've never lied to you Lucky Charm".

Was that a lie?

Well if it was, it was believable and I was falling for it.

"I...I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship". My confession didn't make up for going on the date in the first place but letting Demarco know about this made me feel better. "I told him I was only interested in a friendship".

He slowly nodded his head taking in what I was saying. "And was he okay with that?"

"Yes, the only reason why I went out with him is because his son threw gum in my hair. That's why I cut my hair so short, he felt bad and of course he was apologetic for his sons act. So he wanted to take me out...to make up for it".

"....on a date" he added.

I felt as if I was digging my own grave deeper and deeper. Demarco was still upset and it was my fault.

Maybe I should've just saved this conversation for another day.

"I said no the first couple of times" I admitted. "Then I bumped into him at the store and I said yes. I thought that maybe a date is what I needed".

I couldn't sit around waiting on you.

"What do you mean, a date is what you needed?"

His voice was slightly raised as he starred me down, waiting for an answer.

There was no way I was going to admit that I missed him almost to the point of insanity. There was no way that I was going to openly admit that I was beating myself up because he abandoned me.

Sure I said yes to the date, but he was my motivation to do so. I wanted to get over him and was willing to do anything.

Seeming to answer the question for himself, he backed off a bit. Readjusting myself properly in his seat to face the screen.

"Tell me the truth" he finally said lowly. "If Patrick and Denziel didn't run into you that night, were you ever going to willingly tell me about this date or this man?"

I felt like a turtle.

All of a sudden all I wanted to do was disappear.

He waited for my answer patiently. When my response was not instant he sighed heavily, shaking his head and turned away completely without a word.

"Before the date even started I knew it was going to be our first and last. He's a good man and I didn't have the heart to cancel last minute. I honestly thought that if no one knew then no damage could really be done".

"I respect your honesty" it came after a moment of thinking and contemplating but it came out eventually which made me feel somewhat relieved. "And as long as he respects you, I'll respect him and the friendship that you two share".

"Thank you".

It was all that I could ask from him.

"But I'm not going to sit here and act as if you going on that date didn't bother me, cause it did. I understand that this is an adjustment period for the both of us but I don't share Clover. Never did and never will".

I nodded my head, accepting everything that he was saying without processing his words.

It took me a second the realize what he was actually saying, which had me shell shocked as my mouth stayed stuck shut and my heart hammered against my chest.

He was staking his claim and making it crystal clear.

"I've learned that you wholeheartedly care about people. It's not something that I'm use to, but it's a trait that I've come to value because of you. Therefore I'd never ask you to change that or anything about yourself".

"You don't trust me completely and that's okay, I don't blame you but let me make myself clear. No girl of mine will be going out on dates with another man. Not even a pitty date".

He was aggressive and unapologetic with his words.

Still unable to form any words of my own, I settled for nodding my head in agreement.

That was enough to satisfy his bind rage. As he turned back to the movie and continued eating his food.

So that's what I was.

His girl.

The thought buzzed through my head all night into the early morning. By the time the second movie finished and we drove back home it was close to three in the morning.

"Thank you".

I wasn't sure how things like this went. But if this were like the movies, this was the part where he'd have to kiss me goodbye on my door step.

Like deja-vu all over again, he wrapped me in his arms like earlier but this time around there was a new found aggressiveness about his hold on me. 

Our hug was not as light and playful as it was earlier. It was more intense and if I dare, intimate, as the tension only grew.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself".

I could barely hear him with how lightheaded I've become.

I wasn't sure how long our hug was but it was longer then earlier as he pulled away only a little to ask me a question.

"Is it okay if I kissed you?"

I couldn't speak so I nodded. I lost all moisture in my mouth as he stepped away a little to graze my chin with his finger tips.

He came down and his lips gently touched my cheek.

It wasn't the kiss I thought he was asking for, but it felt all the more romantic and innocent. With a confident smile, he respectfully stepped away allowing me space to unlocked the door and go inside.

I closed the door with my heart racing, and for what felt like the first time that night, I finally took in a breath of air that I didn't know I needed.