Word Count: 1994

~Avia

Malin stands in front of me, arms crossed over her chest.

"Absolutely not."

"Malin..."

"It's too late in the game to be bringing in someone from inside Isaiah's home into the rebellion," she exclaims. Everyone else in the room, sitting at the table, doesn't say anything, knowing not to intervene when Malin and I are arguing. I came back here thinking she would be glad someone from inside Isaiah's estate would want to join our rebellion.

I collapse into the chair next to Kadrick, wishing he would join, even though I know supporting me isn't worth upsetting Malin. "Isn't that exactly who we should be bringing in?"

"Nothing can go wrong. What part of that don't you understand?" she questions.

I know that better than anyone. It's all I think about. Everything is up to me now, to get as much information out of Isaiah as I can. So far, I've garnered a lot, but everyone is waiting for me to come back with news that could change up everything.

"Can it get much worse, Zire already knows..." I mutter, tipping my head back. I've been true to Zire and I's bargain, and not dug into anything involving him. Only very few in our current group know much about him.

"That's on you," Malin snaps, pointing her finger at me. I narrow my eyes. "You are jeopardising this mission."

"Avia didn't have any other choice. Come on Malin," Kadrick cuts in, trying to soothe Malin's irritated outburst. She doesn't snap at Kadrick like she does with me, although when they do fight, there's less reason to forgive him, than me. That's always been Malin and I's relationship, though.

Fight, and forgive. All in less than an hour.

"I spoke more to Caiya," I tell her. "She has learnt to resent Isaiah's father, Kit, as she is required to tend to him when he visits. Her family aren't well off, and she wants to be apart of the inevitable uprising."

Malin chews on her fingernail, shifting from foot to foot. "I don't trust her."

"I do, and I have half a say in who we bring in, as I also lead this along with you, remember?" I remind her. It's not often I remind her that we are on equal ground, even though she pushes that. It makes it easier on me, to concentrate on the mission, while she handles the affairs with the members.

"Fine," she sighs, although her reluctance is painfully obvious in the way it seeps from her. "But if she's a spy, I'm going to make you kill her."

My mouth falls open, but Malin merely turns, storming from the room. I stare at her departing figure, unsure of how serious she is. Kill? We don't kill, that was the rule. Not unless we have no other choice. Everyone else at the table seems just as stunned, silent for a long moment before they resume muttered conversations with their neighbours.

"Malin's under a lot of stress. We are so close to getting it, your information is really helping," Kadrick says softly from beside me.

He's trying to cool the fire before it starts.

"How do you think I feel? Zire knows, Caiya knows, Elise is threatened by me, Kit is secretly abusive and Isaiah is seconds away from actually wanting to be with me..." I hiss lowly, trying not to let everyone else see how much this is weighing on me, on how much Malin weighs on me.

"Hey, calm down." Kadrick grabs my hand, squeezing it. "It's okay."

No, it's not okay, but I'm not about to make him think that. Kadrick isn't a bad man, and he is already shouldering the reality that I'm in Isaiah's estate trying to seduce him...The least I can do is keep my concerns to myself.

"I've missed you. I hate this," I murmur honestly. Kadrick has always been a comfort person for me. He came into this rebellion for me, and I feel partially responsible for anything that goes wrong in here, that affects him.

"Me too, but once it's over, we are going to take a long vacation, and we are going to spend time together, just us," he says, smiling in a way that makes his dark eyes seem bright and full of promise.

"I love you, Kadrick," I murmur.

He reaches out, brushing a thumb over my cheek. Love you too."

***

The next night, after spending most of the day in my room reading, I wander downstairs, Isaiah on my mind.

It's colder tonight, as I pad down the stairs, heading to his secret room. Resting my ear against the door, I'm met with silence, meaning he's either in his room, or in his office. Considering the latter is the only one I can walk into without suspicion, I sweep through the hallways, hoping to avoid running into any staff.

Sure enough, Isaiah is at his desk, fingers weaved through his hair as he stares down at the papers scattered across the surface.

He glances up at the sound of the door opening. He looks so tired, shadows gathered under his eyes, like he hasn't slept in days. His shoulder deflate at the sight of me, like he can finally relax.

"My father is gone," he mutters.

Closing the door behind me, I sit walk up to his desk, unable to bring myself to look at the documents with him right in front of me. "I didn't even get to say goodbye."

Good. I'm grateful Kit is out of this manor, where I don't have to risk running into him. I don't let Isaiah see my relief, however, hoping he believes that I'm solemn at his departure, like Kenna should be.

"I wouldn't waste your time being nice to him," Isaiah sighs, leaning back in his chair. "He isn't worth it."

Trust me Isaiah, I know.

"You shouldn't let him walk all over you." I clutch my hands behind my back as I watch his face with cautious eyes. I don't want to push him, to lean him away from trusting me. I need him to feel like he can divulge anything to me, including the rifts between him and his father. But things like that are sensitive, and pushing it could force the wrong reaction.

"Choice isn't a luxury Alpha's are often afforded," he merely says, watching me brooding eyes. That's exactly what I'm trying to decipher...How much choice does Isaiah really have in everything?

I back away from the desk, getting the sense I'm not going to get much else from him tonight. "I better get to my room..."

He stands up suddenly, nearly knocking his chair back. I stay in my spot, as he rounds the desk, intention burning in his eyes as he comes to stand before me. I allow the proximity, even if the scent of him, the look of him has me wavering. How does he do this to me? The affect of him shouldn't be so overwhelming.

"Kenna," he murmurs, his voice draping over me, my senses alighting. He doesn't so much as touch me, although he leans in ever so slightly, that I'm convinced me might kiss me. "Do you feel it?"

Yes.

There's a indissoluble connection between us. One that I couldn't describe to any reasonable person, and especially not Kadrick. But that connection is causing weakness inside me. It's making it harder to go through with the mission. The entire point is to seduce him, and yet when it comes to it, I can't bring myself to commit.

Because when I indulge in these moments...It stops feeling like the mission, and starts feeling like I'm betraying Kadrick...That I'm betraying myself.

"Feel what?" I whisper.

He seems to come to his senses, digging his hands back through his mussed hair as he turns away. "Nothing. I apologise."

I'm not sure what comes over me, but I grab his shoulder, making him turn back to me again. He's hardly sane at this point, his eyes wild as he tries to stop himself from doing something that we would both regret.

"Isaiah," I murmur, holding his gaze. "I understand."

"Come to my room," he offers quietly.

My eyes widen ever so slightly as the reality of what he is asking settles in the pit of my stomach. I know what would happen if I went to his room with him right now, even if a horrible temptation rises up within me, poisoning my thoughts. Malin would be delighted, but I don't know if I'm ready to go that far for the mission.

"Do you really want that?" I question, trying not to look away despite the heat in his gaze. He thinks for a moment, gaze dipping down to my lips.

"Yes," he murmurs, like he's admitting a dark secret that he's been keeping. "I'm afraid you're slipping through my fingers, that I'm to marry Elise, and the only moment's I shall have with you are these."

I blink. "Your honesty...Your honesty is stunning."

"Yet I also fear that there is a chance, that I can learn more about who you are, feel more than this burning within me that consuming me, that's telling me I need you in every physical capacity. I fear it's starting to plague my emotions, and that me even telling you this will ruin everything."

His voice almost sounds desperate, borderline feral. As he steps even closer to me, I back up until my back hits the door. I can't run, I just have to face him. But what if he kisses me? If he kisses me, we can't take that back, and it's going to be between us until his mission is over...

Yet that's why I'm here. To seduce him, so the least I should do is kiss him. And it doesn't have to mean anything, on my end at least.

"Nothing is ruined," I assure him, reaching out to rest my hands on both his arms. I can feel the hidden strength there, that I don't think his father knows about. I mean, he kept from his father the fact that he killed the rebels himself, without help. And I doubt he would tell him about his nightly session in that secret room of his, taking out his anger on a hanging bag.

He tilts his head, dark curls brushing against his brow. "You fear me. I sense it."

I think he's mistaken. It's doubt, and self hatred he's seeing in me. "It's not fear."

"No one ever sees me," he breathes. "I'm just an Alpha, or a disappointment of a son or merely a social engagement. My world is burning at the edges, and it's getting closer and closer to truly consuming me."

My breath hitches, as I look into his eyes, seeing nothing but an exposed man, being completely honest. And it hurts. Because what if I'm reading Isaiah wrong? What if I'm starting to doubt this mission, and whether I should be here or not...

What if I'm falling for him?

"I'm sorry Isaiah," I exclaim suddenly, pushing at his chest until he steps away, cool air relieving my heated skin. "Goodnight."

He doesn't stop me, as I open his office door, and slip out.

🖤••🖤

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***

I have a brand new story called IMMORTAL PRINCE now available on Radish, and soon on Wattpad (:

"Tomorrow, we don't have to speak of this again." I hardly know what I'm asking. I just know I want whatever it is.

He watches me with an intensity that I know only he is capable of. "Put my hand where you want me to touch you."

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~Midika 💜🐼