Ember

Breathing was fast becoming my least favorite thing on Earth.

Kissing Kane was flying straight to the top of my favorite things.

I wrapped my arms around his neck- mostly to hold on more than anything- as he continued to kiss the sanity right out of me. Each brush of his lips against mine felt like gasoline was being thrown at the fire in my stomach until my insides were melted butter and even my lungs were against breaking free to take a breath of air. I was spiraling round and round, lost in his touch and grateful I'd listened to myself and hadn't scurried back like a coward-

"Gross, I did not need to see this before breakfast," Helen said, disgusted voice shattering my thoughts like fragile glass.

I jerked my head back. Kane- surprisingly or maybe not so surprisingly- tried to pull me back to him but I clumsily untangled myself from him and hopped off the counter, breathing hard, my face flaming.

"I'll remember this interruption later when I find you kissing Tom," Kane told Helen, wiping my mouth with the sleeve of his shirt and pressing a lingering kiss at the corner of my mouth.

The small contact sent a bolt of fizzling current all the way down to my legs but I ignored it, retrieving my forgotten plate while sneaking a peak at Helen. She was wearing a different outfit from last night and pouring coffee into a mug (the one my mom had said she hated). Her pink floral dress was angel-like but the stink eye she was giving Kane was the polar opposite of angelic. "I'm not going to be kissing him later," she said.

Kane gave her a mock pitying look. "Sad. I know I'll be kissing Ember later."

I bit my lip before I could ask him when exactly 'later' was, taking my breakfast to the table in the other room instead.

"Aren't you glad I never let you fall in love with me for real?" Kane asked Helen.

Helen narrowed her dark blue eyes. "Let it go or I'll send Ember a video someone recorded of us making out in public last year."

I covered my wince by sipping my coffee, but was unable to look away from them. Curiosity wanted to see how Kane would treat Helen now, it wanted to see if there was any hint of lingering affection on Helen's part- whether or not she'd just found her mate.

Kane gave Helen a measured look. "Delete the video and I'll never talk about Tom again," he said, pulling out a chair beside me and sitting down.

"It applies to Ember too," Helen said, seating herself in the chair across from me. "Or no deal."

I pursed my lips. "You spent two years being a pain in my ass and now you want me to promise not to tease you in exchange for not seeing something I've already gotten used to seeing?"

She paused, gave me a reluctant nod. "If you had finished that line with an insult it would've been perfect. You're learning."

"Stop trying to teach her bad things," Kane said, standing up with another plate of food. "I'm taking this to Tom in case he's awake."

I shot out of my seat. "I'll come too. He could use the company."

Kane gave my untouched pancakes a pointed look.

I picked them up with my coffee. "I'll eat there."

If he knew my eagerness to be social was partly a means to get away from Helen- a poisonous snake that hadn't bitten you yet still had venom- he didn't call me out on it. "Okay."

I followed him out without another glance in Helen's direction, wondering if I'd have to hang out with her eventually and dreading the prospect. Especially if she was going to keep dredging up past make-out sessions with Kane. That part of my life was something I had no intention of revisiting.

"Is that breakfast?" Bluebell asked when we walked in, bouncing up and down with five times the energy I was feeling. At least someone had gotten some proper rest.

Tom was still sleeping. As well as my mom. Amazingly, I'd forgotten that she was here too- and very likely to wake up the second she heard my voice. I blamed the lack of sleep and Kane's kisses for the lapse in memory, then, before the guilt could set in, I handed both my pancakes and coffee to Bluebell. "Bon appétit," I said, and hurried out of the room.

I barely made it out when guilt hit me like a pissed quarterback, knocking the breath out of me with each brutal blow of truth.

I may not have told Kane to kill Kevin but I hadn't been good enough to convince Donna that.

I'd kicked them out of the pack house instead of clearing up the misunderstanding and reassuring them like a capable alpha female would have done.

As a result they were furious with me but afraid of Jett so they went after my mom- who I was running away from when it was my fault she'd been hurt in the first place.

And it may not even be the last time since Donna and her friends had disappeared and could easily strike out any time.

What kind of person avoided their injured mother?

Maybe she was right about me being a horrible person.

I started walking, my surroundings blurring until I was standing in the lawn and staring vacantly at the grass. I don't know how long I stood there, fighting the urge to take off running until there was no place left to run or until I was simply too tired to put one foot in front of the other, but it was long enough for the morning chill to seep into my clothes and start a round of shivers. The cold was bad, but it still didn't make the house any more inviting, if anything it made my shivering muscles twitch to move, to run and shed the heat off with the human skin and its human problems.

My fingers curled, the nails elongating.

I didn't hear him approach until he spoke. "Ember." Kane touched me on the shoulder, stirring me out my droning panic. Like a robot from an old horror movie whose limbs became stiff without oil, I turned around stiffly, meeting his gaze.

He should be tired of me. I was tired of me. Too many mistakes and not enough strength to keep them from swallowing me whole. Not the most eligible mate for an alpha. I was a terrible choice as well as a terrible person.

Yet there was no irritation, no sign of impatience in his expression. There was nothing but confidence, in both the imperious lift of his brow and tone when he shook his head and said, "You're not a terrible person."

"What?" I asked, stupefied out of my gloomy darkness. "How did you-"

"I can pick up on some of your thoughts, remember?"

"If you can pick up on some of my thoughts, why didn't you do it yesterday? You would've found out the truth sooner," I said petulantly.

Despite my jab, he didn't lose a drop of his arrogance. "I was scared of what I'd find if I listened. I was wrong."

"I'm shocked you admitted that."

"We all have a lapse in judgment once in a while." He shifted closer, enveloping me in his arms easily. I couldn't resist it. I leaned into him, grateful for the warmth that spread to me immediately, and even more grateful that he didn't try to take me back into the house. "I know you aren't a bad person."

I looked up at him. "How do you know that?"

"Have you killed an innocent person before?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Whatever point you're trying to get at, I'm not going to listen-"

Kane kissed me, long and deep enough that my face warmed and any rebellion I'd been about to start was quelled. Then he leaned back, raised his eyebrows. "Can I continue talking?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist, shrugged nonchalantly. "I never said I wouldn't listen to you."

He smiled, dragging his hands up and down my back, probably to keep me warm although my thoughts were shifting in a more inappropriate direction. "Have you killed an innocent person before?"

I sighed, it was hard to try and wiggle my way out of this when he was warm and kept looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered on the planet. "No," I replied finally. "I haven't killed an innocent person before."

"Have you stolen anyone's money?" he asked, still as serious as ever.

"No, but I've stolen Ian's food before."

A smile tugged at his lips, light blue eyes filling with temporary amusement. "Don't steal any of Jett's, it makes him cranky."

"Duly noted." I traced the firm cut of his cheekbones with a finger, trailing it down to his neck where I could feel his pulse picking up pace.

It didn't show on his face, which was set determinedly in a look that said he was going to say whatever was on his mind no matter what. "Have you ever held ill will towards someone for no reason at all?"

"No," I replied, hoping this was the end of his line of uncomfortable questioning no matter how comforting having his arms around me felt. "I haven't."

"Would a terrible person say no to all those questions?" he asked.

I poked him in the chest. "You don't have to waste your time comforting me every time I have a breakdown. I'm not supposed to be a liability."

"You aren't a liability," he said. "You're mine. Mine to protect- that includes protecting you from your inner demons when they get too hungry."

I blinked.

He nodded as if my silence was the answer he was searching for, then pulled me towards the parking lot without another word.

I dug in my heels. "Wait, where are we going?"

"I'm going to feed you, do you like donuts?" he asked, glancing back at me questioningly.

I like you. A lot.

I blushed at the thought, giving him a single nod in case my voice betrayed my emotions. I really hoped he wasn't listening in on my thoughts that very-

Kane came to a halt even though we hadn't reached his car yet. He turned to me, smiling like the cat that had just caught the long-elusive canary. "I like you too, Ember."

I covered my face with my hands and groaned.

But I couldn't help the smile that spread on my lips as I let him lead me away.