Aunt Mary was dead. Ryan could not breathe as he gripped his Mama's hand tightly, the tears falling from his eyes as he stared back, away from the group who had circled around Elias and Aunt Mary.

The howls and screams of pain were too loud. He looked down at his Mom who's eyes were too distant for him to notice any other kind of pain. "Mama?" He needed to get her away from this. Without thinking twice, Ryan bent down and lifted his mom into his arms.

She was small, and barely weighed anything for someone who cooked and ate every hour with the orphans in the pack house.  "Mama, talk to me please." Everything was falling apart in his world as he pushed his mom's house door and laid her on the couch.

She didn't like death. She hated it, and Ryan had always made sure she was the first person in the safe house. Death sent her to a dark place, to a place she cried and cried until there was no part of her that wanted to live. Except for him. She turned on the couch, pressing her hand under her hand. "I'm okay." She spoke softly, not opening his eyes. "I just need a few seconds." His mom was the only wolf who had been abandoned by her wolf, leaving her practically human compared to the others.

It was why he always had to make her feel proud, to give her a reason to hold onto life after the shock of betrayal that had gone through her of losing his sperm donor and her wolf. She kept herself busy, yet never busy for him.

He moved his hands over her dark hair. "I'm going to get some food for you and then I'm going to spend the day with you." He held back the tears as his mom held his hand gently and shook her head.

"Stay with them, baby. I'm going to get some rest." I want to be alone.

He nodded his head, leaning down and pressing his lips on her forehead. "I love you, Mama. I'm going to come and check up on you, okay?" She nodded her head, keeping her eyes closed and he walked towards the curtains, drawing them shut so the light didn't hurt her eyes.

Ryan glanced over his shoulder at her, but his mom was fast asleep, and he knew she had been exhausted the past few weeks, not stopping to let her body take a second. He walked out the door and closed it behind himself with a soft click before heading back towards the pack house.

Nobody had moved. Everyone was crying. Brian held onto his sister, Liv. Andy and Josh stood besides the Alpha, staring at Aunt Mary's dead body. Kyle stood away from them all, silent. Distant. Ryan looked towards the pack house, staring at Myra who's eyes were wide. She stumbled and his body moved as she fell to the floor, a loud thud on the ground.

"Myra?" Ryan patted her cheek but she didn't wake up. Ryan lifted her lifeless body up into his arms, knowing the Alpha was heading towards him as he ran up the stairs. He laid her on her own bed just as Elias walked into the room, his eyes wide. "I-I don't know what happened…" Ryan spoke in a low voice, taking a few steps backwards.

"It's fine." Elias sat besides her, pushing her hair out of her face as he gripped her hand tightly in his. "Could you close the door behind you, please?" Give us some time.

Ryan nodded his head, walking out of her room and heading downstairs. Rubbing his face harshly, Ryan walked out of the house, heading silently to his own house.

Aunt Mary was a big part of everyone's lives. He should have done better. He should have known something like this would happen. He should have followed her into the woods. He should have given her the cake his mama had made. He should have taken care of the two women in his life and he couldn't.

Ryan opened his mom's house door quietly to see her still sleeping on the couch. He had to take care of her, she was growing weaker and he couldn't lose his mom. Closing the door gently, he walked to his own house.

Myra came with a past she wasn't ready to open to the pack. Nobody had forced her and they wouldn't but today was a result of her past. They wouldn't blame her because it was not her fault. He had scented the fear on her body when he had lifted her into his arms. She was afraid but there was nothing to be afraid of.

She was part of his life and his best friend as well now. He was going to make sure nobody would harm her.

Ryan walked into his house, the one he shared with his friends and his mate but it was empty, silent. He couldn't be out there with all the crying and tears. Aunt Mary wouldn't want that. She'd want a party because deep down they all knew she did not fight back.

A couple of rogues were nothing for Aunt Mary. She could put Alpha Elias on his ass, an Alpha. It was the shock that she had accepted death so easily that coursed through his veins.

He walked to the top of the stairs and simply sat down, staring at the house they had for themselves. After seeing his mom clean after them, he had made them all sit down and told them to pull their boxers up and clean after themselves because his mom was not their cleaner.

They had obviously all gone to apologise to his mom and then cleaned after themselves every single day.

The house looked presentable now.

Ryan pressed his elbows against his knees and stared out the window. There would be a funeral, but he wouldn't let his mom go. Aunt Mary took care of him in the pack house, when he would run away from his friends to go and help her bake cakes the way his mama had taught him.

The front door opened and Kyle walked in. He stared at Kyle. Kyle stared back, leaning against the door he closed. "She's gone." He sighed as if not believing it. "And we're sitting on our asses doing nothing about it."

"Elias will find a way out of this. You know he will." Ryan answered him.

Kyle nodded his head, knowing despite everything, the pack always came first. "Your mom's house curtains are closed, why?" The concern was clear in his voice.

Ryan sighed as Kyle walked towards the stairs  closing the space between them. "She's ill." He rubbed at his face harshly. He hadn't even shaven for fuck sake. "She's been tiring herself out but she just needs a bit of rest."

Kyle nodded, stopping besides him a step below. "I'm going to go and take a shower before I go and help the others." He could face death, he had done it for a while, always helping Elias with burying the bodies, or killing. He was training to be a warrior, yet there was no coldness on his face as he walked past Ryan.

Ryan grabbed his hand, stopping him. "Don't go. Stay with me." His voice was a whisper. He hated the silence. "Please."

Kyle tugged on Ryan's hand, making him stand up. Whereas Kyle seemed to be still growing, Ryan had stopped at six foot.

Ryan stood in front of Kyle who looked at him with the blue eyes that Ryan was slowly falling in love with. "I don't want to be alone today." He said quietly.

Pressing gentle fingers on his chin, Kyle tilted Ryan's face up and leaned down to kiss him. I'm right here with you today. He voiced out his words in their mindlink, kissing him like his life depended on it.

Ryan snaked his arms around Kyle, deepening the kiss. Kyle growled in the kiss, the dominant side of him wanting more. Ryan offered everything on a goddamn gold plate to him. They didn't stop kissing, his hands tugging on Kyle's short hair as Kyle pressed him against the door of his room.

The door opened and Ryan pulled away to suck in a breath as Kyle's dangerously soft lips kissed their way down his neck. He felt the bed under his back and he moved up it, wrapping his legs around Kyle and locking him in between his legs. Blood rushed down his dick that needed attention as Ryan moaned as Kyle sucked the skin where he would mark him.

Tell me to stop… Kyle's voice rang in his mind, a purr to Ryan's ears as he tilted his head to the side, giving him the answer he needed.

Don't stop.

Fangs scraped against his sensitive neck and Ryan's hips thrusted against Kyle. Fuck fuck fuck. His dick needed touching now, needed to be sucked and he needed to be fucked.

Kyle sunk his fangs into Ryan's neck, and the world seemed to explode around them as he came apart in his pants. A thousand senses flew past him, making him feel alive as Kyle sucked the skin he had marked.

Ryan needed more.

Kyle looked at him, his blue eyes darkened and full of lust and need. "I want to mark you." Ryan blurted out, pressing his hands on Kyle's chest and pushing him upwards. He was never top, but he wanted to try. Kyle wrapped an arm around him and spun him around, stronger than the two. He sat up, eyes lighting up with interest as Ryan straddled him.

He needed to strip for fuck sake. He needed to do so much more but he leaned down, and kissed him softly. A slow kiss to forget about every goddamn worry in their lives. Kyle fought for dominance and Ryan granted it, giving him all he could as he kissed his way down his jaw, slowly. 

"Don't fucking tease me." Kyle growled, his hips thrusting upwards. Ryan moaned at the feel of his cock.

He had seen it so many times. There was no hiding that.

"Mark me." A command and an order he was willing to follow wholeheartedly.

Ryan sucked on the skin that made Kyle spin them around, not a care in the world that the door was open to his room or that Ryan fangs pierced into his skin, claiming him as his soulmate.

*insert cute vanilla love making sex.*

Ryan let out a soft groan, feeling his body a little sore but the biggest smile appeared on his face thinking of the way Kyle had made love to him last night. It had been strange to see him being slow and careful. Ryan had done the same, popping Kyle's gay cherry and life had been perfect for the few hours they had spent touching one another as if it was a dream.

He turned around, blinking in the darkness but the room was empty. A frown appeared on his face as he sat up, looking around but Kyle wasn't in the room. He pulled the duvet off his body and picked up his black shorts and pulled them on as he walked out of Kyle's room, heading down the stairs.

The house seemed empty other than Kyle in the kitchen, cooking steak at two in the morning. He was stressed hence the cooking. Ryan smiled as he walked towards him. "Come back to bed, we have the house-" He stopped talking as Kyle moved away from his touch. "What happened?"

Kyle pressed his back against the counter, trying to stay away from Ryan. "I made a mistake."

Ryan's wolf growled inside of him but he shut it out, trying to focus on Kyle's words. "Sleeping with me was anything but a mistake-" He chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood. "I'd describe it as magic-"

"Don't." Ryan instantly shut up as Kyle spoke. "I'm being serious." He didn't look him in the eye as he rubbed his neck harshly. "It was a mistake."

"We marked and fucked one another. I don't call that a mistake."

"It was heat of the moment and I-I-"

"You're supposed to want to rip my clothes off-" Ryan growled at him. Dark blue eyes  looked at him and it felt like every word that was being said was pushed out the window as Kyle stalked towards him.

Blood rushed to his cock, ready for round four as Kyle pressed him against the counter, pressing his hands on either side of him, his faces inches away. "I am on a fucking thin rope. Don't push me."

"Let go then." Ryan blurted out. "Stop acting like this is a mistake. Stop being so fucking afraid."

Kyle pushed himself away from him, tugging on his hair as he ran his hands down and turned his back to Ryan who continued speaking. "We are mates for fuck sake."

Kyle spun around and looked at him. "I don't want to lose you as a friend."

Ryan could feel the anger rising in him. He had enough of the bullshit. "Walk away from me now and you've lost me forever. I'm not your friend, I'm not anyone." Kyle glared at him but Ryan continued, unable to stop the anger of nearly a year pining after him. "I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm not here to deal with your bullshit fears."

"What the fuck are you on about?" Kyle snarled, daring him to speak.

"You fear abandonment, don't you? Scared I'll run away like your parents did?" Ryan stalked towards him. "I swear it on my fucking life, I'm a thousand percent in if you are." He stabbed a finger into Kyle's bare chest. "Give me your promise. Swear it to me that you want it just as much as I want this." His voice sounded desperate, the last try he was willing to give. "We'll take it as slow as a fucking turtle but give me a chance."

Kyle stared and everything in Ryan broke as he said the word Ryan never wanted to hear. "No."

Ryan growled. "Then you know exactly why your parents fucking left you behind like a piece of shit." He pushed in his chest, moving past him even as Kyle snarled at him angrily. "Go fuck yourself, you fucking bastard." He snarled in return, walking out the front door and slamming it shut.

Instantly he shifted into his wolf and ran.

**

He went for the low blow in anger. Fear was understandable. Kyle was over protective of them all, and was there for them all in their time of need. He stood by Brian when people bullied him. He stuck up for Andy in front of Elias when Elias had given it to him. They were children, young but he was their protector and when Josh had broken his leg, it was Kyle who had stood by him, being the support he needed to walk again.

He had helped Ryan through everything, growling and snarling at everyone who spoke bad about his sexuality, going to the lengths that he had to get put into a training class with Zac to control his anger.

He was protective and because he was afraid of not being enough for them, that if he didn't do a lot and didn't prove it to them, that everyone would leave him. He went above and beyond, never wanting anything in return.

Ryan stood outside the door, two hours later, and let out a sigh. Kyle was wrong to say no after fucking him but Ryan was wrong to demand him to accept everything within a night. They were useless at communicating despite being best friends.

They were strangers now. Ryan was ready to drop everything for Kyle whereas Kyle was holding onto the friendship between them, not wanting it to end, afraid of the unexpected.

He had fucked up by talking about his parents when it was a fear he had shared to Ryan alone. Asshole Ryan. That's what he was.

He walked into the house, the empty house since Brian was staying with Liv and Andy and Josh were out drinking recklessly with their other friends. Myra was with Elias, he was sure of it.

Kyle sat on the stairs, a hole in the wall from where it seemed he had punched through it. He tapped his foot anxiously on the step, blue eyes watching every step Ryan took.

"I'm sorry for what I said about your-"

"Don't say it." Parents. They were his sperm and egg donor, not his parents.

Ryan was afraid to walk towards him, not wanting to see him flinch from his touch. "I'm sorry, Kyle. I didn't mean it."

"But you did." Kyle shook his head, disappointment clear on his face. "When we speak in anger, it's always the truth."

"It's not. I just wanted to make you angry, to make you feel something."

"You know what I feel?" Kyle stood up, and walked towards him. "I feel like shouting to everyone in this fucking pack that I was fucking right." Ryan looked at him with confusion. "Before we were mates, I would have kicked the shit out of you for talking to me like that. I would break every bone in your body-" He knew Kyle was right. "But now-" He shook his head, a humourless laugh escaping him. "Now I can't even lift my finger to hurt you."

Ryan's eyes softened.  He was afraid. "Don't look at me like that." Kyle glared at him. "I'm done." He turned away, heading towards the door but Ryan gripped his arm.

"Kyle, please. We can be friends, fuck the mate bond, fuck everything. We forget all this happened, we carry on like nothing happened." He was ready to beg as Kyle snatched his arm away and walked out of the house, leaving him alone.

The door opened seconds later and his mom walked in. Ryan fell to his knees, crying. "Mama, I fucked up."

"Oh baby." She quickly ran towards him, wrapping her arms around him as he clung to her, crying.

"I want to come home." He couldn't stay here. He couldn't stay knowing he was losing everything.

He lost Aunt Mary and he lost Kyle, all within a day. He had to pretend everything was fine. This was not him. He did not cry so easily. He had to be better.

He was Ryan. His mama's boy and another boy would not break his heart. He clung to his mom, letting all the tears out one last time.

A few weeks later, after the ending of Alpha Elias.

"Do you really think you're going to burn yourself?" Ryan questioned, his arm around Myra's shoulders as they walked away from the lake house. "Or do you think you'll burn Elias' dick first?"

Myra blushed and he chuckled. "Probably Elias first. I can't keep my hands off him."

He laughed but instantly the laughter in him disappeared as he stared at Kyle who was chuckling at something Bella said. She wrapped her arm around his arm, dragging him away from the others and towards the path that led to the shops.

Ryan concentrated on their conversation, a growl escaping his lips. I need sexy lingerie.

He removed his hand from Myra, ready to rip Bella apart as anger coursed through his veins, as if he had the fire flame deep inside of him.

Instantly a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, digging their feet into the ground even as he moved. "No no no." Myra struggled with him but didn't let go. "Ryan, you're going to regret it, please stop." She wrapped a foot around him and with sudden surprise at her strength and the fact that she was still learning how to fight, she threw him down onto the ground.

He let out a huff as she sat on his back. "I'm not going to kill her. I'll just dye her hair green." He muttered, the rage inside of him disappearing slowly.

Myra burst out laughing. "They're friends, nothing else."

"I don't believe it."

"You believe me, right?" She questioned, and he nodded his head instantly. "Kyle isn't with anyone. He's just helping her with a few things."

"Like lingerie?" He growled.

"They're friends. You said you'd help me with lingerie." She crossed her arms as he lifted his head up to look at her as much as he could.

"That's different." He rolled his eyes at her.

"How is it different? Kyle is mated. Bella is sensible enough not to cross the line."

Ryan sighed, resting his forehead on his palm. "You don't know their history. They've been wild as fuck. She's a fucking Goddess when it comes to sex and he's not gay. He still fancies girls."

"But he's mated to you." She sounded confused.

"Elias might not blink at another pussy, babe, but not everyone is like that. I'd sit on Elias' dick if he asked me to despite having a mate."

She slapped him on his back and he chuckled. "You do know Elias will kill me if he sees us like this, right?" Ryan turned around under her as she sat on his stomach.

"You want a threesome?" Myra wiggled her eyebrows. "I can see if he'll get convinced."

"You dirty dirty girl." Ryan laughed. "I have totally ruined your innocence." He shook his head but felt proud of himself as she stood up and tried to lift him up too.

●●●●●

Men. Smh