I was still looking at the pictures when someone rapped three times on my door. I quickly put the pictures under my comfort blanket and slid my door open.

Lyra and Nev stood at the entry, their arms crossed over their chests and a look of confusion and fear glinted in their eyes.

Lyra's mouth was set in a hard line as she looked down at me.

"Nev told me there was an incident at the viewing deck today." She pushed passed me and looked around my room suspiciously.

"I had a nightmare."

"Nightmare?" Lyra looked at Nev, her eyebrow raised, and he nodded.

I explained my nightmare to her, unable to keep it a secret. If I was to get past this and have them trust me again, I needed to be honest.

After I was finished, Lyra watched me, a contemplative look on her face.

"This is odd." She ran her hand through her curls.

"I'm sorry." I looked down ashamed.

"I don't dream. No one dreams."

"Maybe you don't remember?"

"No, we actually don't dream. It was something they modified out of us. The chip in our neck collects our thoughts and memories and arranges them. There is no need to dream." Lyra started pacing.

"But if I was made the same as you, how am I different?"

None of this made sense. I don't understand how I could be so different if we were all made the same.

"I don't know." Lyra snapped.

It's then I realized that they weren't afraid of me, they were afraid of the difference. Both Nev and Lyra had been the first to wake, the first to understand their purpose and here I was, changing all that they knew, all that they were told.

"Is there any way to find out?" I asked.

Lyra stood still for a second and watched me cautiously. I could see she was working it all out in her head, a fight between what she knew and what she didn't. After a few moments she nodded at me.

"Phee, can you compile all the information about out births." She said while still watching me.

"Access denied." Phee replied.

Lyra looked shocked for a moment, then frustration took over.

"I have level one clearance." She snapped.

"Only Captain Herra can assess those files."

"This is bullshit, why can't we access information about ourselves?" Nev shouted.

"Would you like me to compile the files that level one clearance can access?" Phee asked, her voice neutral and monotoned.

"No!" Lyra and Nev growled at the same time.

"Wont I know more when I get my upgrade?"

There had to be a reason for all of this, and maybe my upgrade will shed some light on why I'm having these dreams, why I know things before I should.

"We can only hope. But I'd be interested in knowing why you're dreaming." Lyra put her hand on my shoulder.

Her friendly smile returned, but it didn't reach her eyes, I could still see the fear lingering there. But for now, she was acting as if I was normal, and I'd take that.

"We should look into this when Nova gets her upgrade." Nev told Lyra.

"No." The voice of the captain snapped.

"What do you mean, no?" Nev raised an eyebrow.

"We don't have clearance, and if we don't have it, there's a reason. As the captain of this..."

"Fuck the rules, Lyra." Nev cut her off.

"The rules are in place to keep us safe."

They were both so close to each other as they battled for dominance. Nev's nostrils flared as Lyra seemed to get taller.

"Guys, it's happening! Rosa and Estrella are getting their upgrade."

Nix had come running full pelt towards me room, and the news snapped them out of their power struggle.

Lyra grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my room while Nev and Nix trailed closely. I felt excited and intrigued to find out what the upgrade meant for the two polar opposite girls.

We made it to the front of the Med Bay as the two girls walked out. Something about them was different. They didn't stand there awkwardly like I had seen them since I had awoken, the way I stood there awkwardly now.

They now had this confidence about them, and I envied that. They knew their purpose, they understood why we were here.

"How did your upgrade go?" Nix was bouncing with excitement.

Rosa beamed, "Amazingly! I don't feel so lost anymore."

"So, what's the outcome?" Nev asked.

"I'm a Botanist. I saw it clear as day. I love plants already, it's like this maternal instinct flowing through me. I can't wait to get on the ground."

"What about you, Estrella?" Lyra turned to her and smiled.

"Operations Manager." Estrella spat.

"That's awesome! We will be working together." Lyra patted her on the shoulder.

"You mean, I'll be working for everyone. I'm like a bloody receptionist."

"What's a receptionist?" I asked without really thinking.

"Shut the fuck up, Nova!" Estrella charged me and stopped right in front of me. She pushed a long, pale finger into my chest.

"You think we are all fooled by your doe eyed innocent bullshit. I know who you are!" She screamed in my face, but as soon as the words were out, panic took over.

"What are you talking about?" I whispered.

"Noth... nothing." She stepped away from me, her eyes darting between everyone nervously.

"No, go on Estrella, tell us all who Nova is." Nev demanded.

"Nothing, I'm just mad." Her anger dissipated and a sad expression covered her face.

"You're an important member of the Sitara, if we didn't need an operations manager, you would be something else. But we do need one. You might help save our lives." Lyra reassured her.

"I'll grab a coffee, if you're up for it." Nev joked.

Estrella shoved past him and stormed off, her white locks flicking in the air.

"Nice one!" Lyra yelled.

"It's not my fault she's uptight!" Nev yelled back.

"What's going on? When I came to Nova's room, you two looked like you were about to throw some punches!" Nix got between the two.

"It's nothing." Lyra smiled at Nix.

"You're such a liar!" Nev yelled.

"I had a nightmare." I said, trying to defuse the situation.

Nix and Rosa turned towards me, eyes bulging. Nev smiled triumphantly and Lyra just shook her head.

"We don't dream." Nix repeated what everyone had already told me.

"No shit sherlock." Nev rolled his eyes.

"What's a sherlock?" I asked.

"Not important. What is important is the fact that we can't access anything about ourselves." Nev told Nix.

Lyra rubbed her temples, her shoulders tense with stress.

"I already told you, rules are rules." She growled.

"Whatever! I'm over these rules!" Nev snapped.

I was starting to feel very tired, the constant back and forth, the anger and hostility was starting to really wear me down. It didn't help that I was the only foggy brained person in the room. They knew all these things and I was completely in the dark.

I thought Lyra said we were best friends, and the way she explained the word made me feel like best friends would help each other, but ever since Phee didn't grant us access, she's treating me like I'm beneath her.

Maybe I am. She's captain after all.

"I'm going to go and lie down." I interrupted their heated conversation.

"That's a really good idea. I will come and check on you soon." Lyra smiled at me.

It was the smile I had seen when she first introduced herself, the smile that made me feel happy and welcome, comfortable and safe. Now I could see the hint of guilt in her eyes, mixed with a little bit of annoyance and I wonder how much of her friendship was fake.