The time will come,
 you will be forced
to make hard decisions
that will ultimately
shape your destiny.
Sometimes, you had
to choose the hardest
for the good
or to be the greatest.

/13/ To Make a Choice

[LOUELLA]

HOW did we end up in this situation? That's the same question I'm dying to ask myself while we're being taken somewhere. I don't know where, but surely it won't be good for us.

Piniringan, pinosas ang mga kamay, at saka kinayag ng isang oras pababa ng bundok. Walang humpay ang panginginig ng kalamnan ko habang pinakikinggan ang usapan ng mga dumakip sa'min.

Noong una'y nagtatalo-talo sila sa nangyari, sinisi pa nila si Benjo sa naging kapabayaan nito't ang isa naman ay sinisi si Lucas, ang lasing na rebelde na siyang pinagmulan nang pagkakataranta ng lahat.

Pagkatapos ay naging laman ng usapan nila tungkol sa kanilang kilusan. They reminded me of the typical college students who are bubbly when casually talking about trivial stuff. I can sense the pride in their youthful voices, oblivious to the fact that they killed soldiers and miners in their ambush operation a while ago. And to think it happened while we were also in this mountain terrified me. I regretted our ignorance.

Actually, I started to regret everything from the beginning. Gano'n naman palagi, hindi ba? When something bad happens, we automatically blame ourselves. And it should be.

Even blinded by the path, I can still picture clearly in my mind the lifeless body of Ellon and Raven who's bathed in her own blood. It's all my fault. My conscience is slowly killing me. I'm running out of breath. I want to fall but I'm too numb and let myself be pulled away.

My whole body is still freezing even the sun scorches my face and skin. Namalayan ko na lang na wala na ang mabatong lupa na tinatahak namin nang mapalitan 'yon ng semento. The moisture and smell of the forest were replaced by a dusty and sultry atmosphere.

Narinig ko na lang na may binubuksan silang sasakyan. Pinasakay nila kami sa likura ng truck at walang ibang upuan kaya sumalampak kami sa sahig nito. Nang makaupo'y kaagad kong ginalaw ang katawan ko para mahanap si Lysander.

I guess we were both too stunned to speak at the moment. Sumandal kami sa isa't isa at saka naramdamang umandar ang sasakyan.

"Hey." I heard his voice. "I know it's stupid to ask if you're okay, we're clearly not." Wala man lang bakas ng pangamba sa boses niya.

"It's also stupid to say we're going to be fine, right?" Nabigo akong ikubli ang panginginig. "S-saan nila dinala si Ellon at Raven?" Sunod-sunod nang tumulo ang luhang kanina pa nagbabadya.

"I... I don't know."

Pagkatapos no'n ay wala nang nagsalita sa'ming dalawa. Malubak ang daan kaya mas dumagdag 'yon sa sakit ng ulo ko na tila pinupukpok ng martilyo.

Sa huli'y kahit nakapiring ay pinilit kong pumikit.

*****

DULOT nang matinding pagod at sakit ng ulo ay nagawa ko pang makatulog sa biyahe. Nagkamalay na lang ako nang huminto ang sasakyan. Pinalabas nila kami at dinala na naman sa kung saan.

I don't have any idea where they're taking us but a while ago, I've been expecting the worst.

They're rebels and I'm guessing they took us in their lair, as we've heard earlier that their leader wants to meet us especially Lysander Vireo.

Bawat yapak ay tila pasikip nang pasikip ang pakiramdam ko. Anumang sandali ay maaaring matagpuan din namin ang sariling wakas—at walang ibang nakakaalam para iligtas kami.

Hindi ako relihiyosang tao pero kanina ko lang naisipang magdasal nang taimtim na sana... sana magkaroon ng himala.

Naguluhan ako nang marinig ang elevator bell at nang lumulan kami ro'n. Pero hindi ko na kasama si Lysander, inihiwalay siya sa'kin.

We're in a building. Hindi 'yon abandonado base sa texture ng sahig at sa mabangong amoy.

Mas lalong tumindi ang kaba ko nang huminto na nang makalabas na kami at nang dalhin ako sa isang silid.

I immediately flinched when somebody removed the blindfold and handcuffs. Tumambad sa'king paningin ang isang kwarto... We're in a... hotel?

Napatingin ako sa nagtanggal ng piring ko at nakita ang isang babaeng kasingtangkad ko. She's wearing a black shirt with a denim jacket, ripped jeans, and combat boots. Hindi ko makita ang buo niyang mukha dahil sa itim na mask but I can tell she's in the same age as me.

My heart skipped when I glimpsed at the rifle casually hanging on her shoulders. She gazed at me coldly and pointed to the bed.

"Dadalhan ka ng pagkain maya-maya, magpahinga ka muna."

"S-sino kayo? N-nasaan kami? S-saan n'yo dinala 'yung kasama ko?"

Imbis na sumagot ay tinalikuran niya ako at iniwanan. Walang bintana kaya nagpunta ako ng CR at nakita ro'n ang maliit na awning window. Tumuntong ako sa toilet para makadungaw at kahit na hindi ako magkakasya roon.

Akma sana akong sisigaw para humingi ng tulong pero natigilan ako nang makitang may mga armadong rebelde ang nagbabantay sa labas.

This hotel is their headquarters?

Maya-maya nga'y dumating ang pagkain at damit na pamalit. They confiscated our things earlier at wala akong dala ngayon kundi sarili ko lang.

Titiisin ko sanang hindi kumain pero mahalumiyak 'yung amoy ng adobo. It's a decent food and I'm disgraceful for craving. Sa huli'y natalo rin ako, nilantakan ko ang pagkain at inumin. I was ashamed after.

First, nagawa kong makatulog kanina sa biyahe, ngayon naman ay nakuha ko pang makakain sa kabila ng mga nangyari. Napaupo na lang ako sa sahig at humikbi. Paulit-ulit kong minura 'yung sarili ko hanggang sa biglang bumukas ang pinto.

Muling pumasok ang babae kanina, piniringan ulit ako nito pero hindi na pinosasan. Hinigit niya ako patayo at hinila palabas para dalhin sa kinaroroonan ng pinuno nila.

Ilang sandali pa'y pinapasok kami sa isang silid at pinaupo sa malambot na upuan.

"You can take it off," utos ng isang malalim na boses.

Nag-aalinlangang tinanggal ko ang piring. Una kong tiningnan ang katabi ko at nakita si Lysander. Sabay kaming tumingin sa harapan at tumambad sa'min ang isang misteryosong ginoo.

I was expecting their leader to be some kind of hermit pero kabaligtaran nito ang lalaki. Mukha siyang professor dahil sa maayos na pagkakahawi ng buhok, nakasuot ng salamin, white long-sleeve na pinatungan ng sweater vest, at itim na pantalon. Mukha ring nasa mid-forties lang siya.

He's sitting behind an antique desk, behind him is a massive shelf full of books. Mas lalo akong naguluhan kung nasaan kami.

He's the leader?

Ngumiti ito bigla. "Quite the unexpected, isn't it?" Mukhang nabasa nito agad ang nasa isip ko. "I hope na nabusog at nakapagpahinga kayo. Mahaba-haba rin ang binyahe n'yo mula Mt. Itum."

"You're a terrorist." Napatingin ako kay Lysander nang sabihin niya 'yon. He's not asking but stating it as a matter of fact. I suddenly felt fear for his fearlessness that I can see in his emotionless eyes.

The man just smiled. "Terrorist is an overstatement. Just like how they always call you the son of a thief. Ako nga pala si Jomari Silang Jr., kasalukuyang pansamantalang pinuno ng organisasyong ito." Itinaas niya ang isang maliit na pin, katulad ng logo na nakita ko sa t-shirt ng isang rebelde. Huminga ito nang malalim pagkatapos. "Alam ninyo ba kung bakit isinara ng gobyerno ang Mt. Itum mula sa mga turista?"

He stared at us. And it felt like if we didn't answer we were at risk, that's why with all my strength left, I answered him.

"D-deforestation... C-commercialization..." pero masyadong nangibabaw ang takot ko para makabuo ng isang pangungusap.

"Tama ka, hija." He clasped his hands. "Pinapatay ng mga gahamang negosyante ang kalikasan para sa sinasabi nilang kaunlaran, at dahil mukhang pera ang gobyerno ay balewala lamang ito sa kanila. That's why we sent our army to Mt. Itum ward them off."

"By destroying their equipment, bombing the location, threatening the villagers, and killing soldiers," sabat bigla ni Lysander.

This time, hindi ngumiti si Mr. Silang. "It's a war you'll never understand, hijo. You're too privileged and spoiled to comprehend."

"Benjo tried to lure you in the mountains with the hopes of recruiting you to join the resistance. He was mistaken to think that you're one of those digital warriors who could be easily persuaded by our cause. Until the accident happened."

"A-accident?" I repeated, almost whispering. Did he just say na aksidente lang 'yung nangyari?

"Anyway, I heard an interesting story that you're looking for something... Nasurpresa ako nang malamang hinahanap n'yo ang Alpas," natatawa nitong sabi, para bang isang malaking kalokohan ang ginawa namin. "It's true, the Alpas is a famous legend in Mt. Itum."

Binuklat ni Mr. Silang ang isang folder. "According to Benjo's report, alam n'yo ang ritwal ng Alpas." sinara nito ang folder.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango at si Lysander ay hindi man lang nagbago ang ekspresyon ng mukha. Tila sanay na sanay na itong tumititig sa kamatayan.

"Well, I admire your bravery. But let me ask kung saan n'yo nalaman ang kwento tungkol sa Alpas?"

Lysander and I looked into each other. Humugot ako nang malalim na hininga bago ko ilahad kay Mr. Silang kung paano ko nadiskubre ang Alpas, subalit hindi ko na sinabi pa ang personal kong dahilan kung bakit ko 'yon gustong mahanap.

Tumango-tango lang siya pagkatapos. Parang napaisip ito nang malalim dahil natulala siya saglit sa kawalan. Tumayo si Mr. Silang at may kinuha sa shelf. Umupo rin ito at muling humarap sa'min habang hawak ang isang itim at lumang journal.

"My late father, Jomari Silang Sr. used to be friends with your late grandfather, Alexander Vireo, and with Professor Rogelio Diwani. Lincoln or Ling is Alex Vireo's servant. The real story about their quest of finding Alpas was written in my father's diary." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang marinig 'yon.

"W-was it really true?"

"Yes." Halos lumundag ang puso ko nang marinig ko 'yon, pansamantala kong nakalimutan ang sitwasyon namin. "A very very long time ago, it was summer when the young Alex Vireo with his friend and servant arrived in this town. They befriended my father, Jomari. Matapos marinig ang kwentong-bayan tungkol sa isang mahiwagang ibon, nagtungo sila sa Mt. Itum para hanapin 'yon." Binuklat at ini-scan niya ang bawat pahina ng diary habang nagsasalita. "Ang sabi ng mga matatanda sa kanila'y sa mga matatapang lamang nagpapakita ang mahiwagang ibon, kaya nag-imbento sila ng ritwal."

"I-imbento?"

"Yes. The four of them just invented it out of nowhere to show their courage. They were lost in the mountains until they can't get out of it because of the sudden arrival of the Japanese soldiers. The four youngsters never imagined that a war would break out." Namalayan ko na lang na nakikinig ako ng taimtim sa kwento niya, umaasa... na totoo ang mga himala. "But lo and behold, in their hardest time a mystical bird appeared to their aid. It gave them unexplainable courage and strength to fight the Japanese soldiers and they successfully escaped the enemy's clutches. It's impossible to believe.

"Kumalat ang kwento na naging alamat dahil masyado itong nakamamangha. Five years later, when the war was over, Alex Vireo with his friends returned to Mt. Itum to look for Alpas again. They never forgot what they saw and what they experienced. After performing exactly what they did before, the mystical bird showed up much to their delight. And do you know what happened next?" Bumaling siya kay Lysander. "Mr. Vireo?"

Tumingin ako sa katabi ko at nagulat ako nang bumuka ang bibig niya.

"They shot it."

"They?" ulit ni Mr. Silang. "I'm not sure kung iyan ba ang nangyari." May hinanap itong pahina sa diary. "Here, sabi rito, binaril ni Alex Vireo ang ibon dahil gusto nitong hulihin ang Alpas para iuwi sa Maynila. What an amazing sharpshooter your grandfather was," may pang-uuyam nitong sab isa huli. "Alex Vireo killed the Alpas because of his greed and that caused a great rift in their friendship. The end. It's not a happy ending like most of the fairy tales but I still found it fascinating."

Natulala lang ako matapos marinig ang lahat. Hindi ko alam kung maniniwala ba 'ko sa mga narinig ko pero mas lalong hindi ako makapaniwala na alam ni Lysander... Alam ni Lysander ang version ng kwentong 'yon.

Kung gano'n... What we're trying to find all along was already... dead... And it was killed by Lysander's grandfather?

Tumikhim si Mr. Silang kaya muli akong napatingin sa kanya. My mind's still grasping what he told when he spoke again.

"Pero hindi ko kayo pinatawag dito dahil lang sa kwentong 'yon. I'm not really interested if it's real or not. You see... what happened to your friends were tragic—one died, and the girl was badly injured but don't worry, dinala siya sa infirmary para gamutin."

D-died? E-Ellon died?

Nasulyapan ko si Lysander na katulad ko'y biglang napayuko, napasapo sa ulo.

"Be rest assured that we'll punish Benjo and Lucas for this—"

"Do you think you'll get away with this?!" Lysander's voice roared in the room. Mabilis na pumasok sa silid ang dalawang rebelde at tinutukan siya ng baril. Tinaas ni Mr. Silang ang kamay para ipababa ang mga baril.

"Please sit down, Mr. Vireo, we're not finished talking yet." His calm demeanor gave me chills. Sinong mag-aakala na wala sa itsura niya na maging isang pinuno ng ganitong organisasyon? I even found out that he's a professor too when I glanced beside him to see the picture frames and his diplomas. "We can't undo what happened. And if you think that we'll easily let you both go?" Umiling ito. "I need the two of you to cooperate with us."

"Cooperate my ass—"

"Ms. Louella Starling, you're outstanding social media influence would greatly help us." Ngumiti siya sa'kin pero kitang-kita ko sa mga mata niya... He's sinister.

"A-ano pong ibig n'yong sabihin?"

"You will be a great propagandist for us."

"P-propagandist of what..."

"To take down the government, of course."

"You're full of shit!" sigaw bigla ni Lysander at akmang susugod pero sa isang iglap ay nasa sahig na siya habang may rebeldeng pumipigil sa kanya.

Mr. Silang stood up and walked towards me.

"I believe the final decision will be yours. You can convince your friend here to help us as well. He will be also valuable because we can use him to snitch his corrupt family."

I... I feel like I'm running out of breath. Gusto kong dumuwal pero nanatili akong tuod at nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko.

"Think about it carefully, Ms. Starling. Think of Alicia Arwani's precious daughter."

Upon hearing that I know I had to make a choice. Raven's life is at stake.