"Here's your bag" my aunt says the day after the bad news about the house. "You forgot it at the old house."
I grab it rather roughly from her. "Thanks" I say rudely.
"I know it's a tough time for you dear but you still have to go to school."
"Yeah, yeah" I say.
"Come on" she says. "The bus is going to be here any minute."
"Bus?" I ask dumbfounded. "I have to take a bus?"
"Yes" she says. "It's down the street. Now go!"
I leave the house and go to where she told me to go.
"Rowan?" I hear someone say. "What are you doing here?"
It's Sam. "I've moved here."
"But all the houses here are small. Why would you be..."
"Look" I say. "I'd really appreciate if we stop talking about this."
She nods and drops the conversation. "Anyway" she says. "You've been gone from school for awhile. What's wrong?"
Tears start flowing from my eyes and she hugs me. "I've been at the hospital" I say.
"What?" she screams. "Why?"
I choke up. "My mom has cancer."
I can tell she has lost all the will to talk. Like he's forgotten how. "I'm sorry" is all she can manage to mutter.
"Yeah sorry" I say. "What's that going to do, cure her?"
She shuts up. I sigh. "I'm sorry. I'm just on the edge. School is not something I want right now." Or ever.
"Okay" she says. "I'm here for you though."
"I know" I say. "Thank you."
We hop onto the bus and when we get to school all eyes are on me... as usual.
Lauren bumps into me. "Oops" she says. "I didn't notice you. Actually I haven't been noticing you for a couple of days. What happened? Stay home from embarrassment. You might want to transfer schools. Your humiliation is only getting started." She smirks.
I don't know what happens the next second. Lauren is on the floor and screaming.
"I'm sorry" I say to the principal. "She started saying something's that are not needed. So I punched her. I didn't mean it, I just did it from anger."
"I'm going to have to tell your parents."
"You can't" I say. "This is not a good time for them."
"Why?" she says. "Why shouldn't I call your parents right now?"
"My dad just loss his job and we found out my mom has cancer" I blurt out.
She sits back in her chair and looks at me with pity. "Alright" she says. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Thank you" I say.
Sam and Will are there when I come out.
"What happened?" they both ask.
"She let me off the hook because if my mom and something else."
"Oh" says Will. "Sam told me." I don't mind that Sam told him.
"Come on" Sam says. "You guys have to admit that what you did is kind of funny." She starts laughing.
Will's the next one to crack. "Yeah, what happened to hitting people is bad."
I laugh too. "Not my fault. She brought it onto herself."
"Can all students report to the auditorium" says the PA.
We all I to the auditorium laughing.
"So students. We've decided to show you a little video about bus safety" says a tenth grader.
"Bus safety?" I ask. "I thought that finished last year."
The screen went down. Words started showing up.
'This video is to inform you.
Among us is a person who is useless, worthless, not needed.
A person who we'd all be better off without.
Someone who should kill herself.
This person you ask is
Rowan Grand.'
A clip starts showing me. Well an imposter that's uncoordinated. Annoying, and fails at everything. Am I really like that.
I run out of the auditorium, the laughs of everyone following me. Am I really like that? Why didn't the teachers do anything? They feel the same way. That has to be true.
Aunt Magie comes and picks me up. I don't go to school for two weeks after. I got sick.
As for mom. They're keeping her for awhile. A month it two. They say the surgery was a success but they're keeping her just in case. Which means that something is wrong.
"Sam and Will are downstairs" says Aunt Magie.
I pull myself from under the bed and go downstairs.
"Nice pajamas" says Sam. I look at my chandelier pajama pants. They always remind me of the song Chandelier by Sia.
"Thanks" I say. "I'm sorry Will you never got to see my old house."
"It's fine. How've you been?"
"Alright" I say. "Been throwing up quite a bit actually."
"Anyway. I was wondering when you're coming back to school" says Will.
I look at him. "I don't want to think about it."
"I know you don't" says Sam. She elbows him in the stomach.
"Ow" he whimpers. "I'm sorry but it's just that if you miss fifteen days of school in a row, you have to repeat a year of those courses."
He right. Maybe I could repeat a year and be in grade nine as everyone is in grade ten. Or is that another reason why people will pick on me, 'cause I've been held back a year.
"Did you tell your parents?" asks Sam.
"About what?" I ask.
"That you're being bullied" she responds.
"I'm not being bullied."
"You can't be that stupid" she says. "How can you not know you're being bullied."
"I'm not stupid" I say.
"Well if you're not" she says. "Then it means you in denial."
I clench my fist from the anger. "I'm telling you I'm not being bullied."
"Rowan" Will says. "You're being picked on. You've been beat up. That's called bullying." He says the little part like I'm a little kid.
Tears start coming down. "I'd appreciate it if you leave me alone please." They both stand up. "I'd also appreciate it if you never speak to me again."
They start saying things but I don't listen. I open the door and they leave.
I wipe my eyes and head to my new small ugly room.
I hop onto the bed. I should go to sleep. Thoughts come in and don't leave my head buzzing around exhausting me. The last one I think of before I fall asleep is 'maybe I am being bullied.'