I was walking through separated and tall pine trees alone. I couldn't look up but from the dim light around me, I knew it was night.

"Yusrah" a voice resembling my Mama's called.

I turned and spotted her wearing her favourite cream and gold gown. She draped a veil on her head and looked serenely beautiful.

I ran as fast as my legs can carry me and hugged her tight.

"Mama you left" I said in an accusing tone crying profusely

She patted my head "It's okay darling time will heal you and so will people around you"

"How can I start doing things alone? Making decisions, solving problems? I can't do that"

"You will darling you will. You're allowed to crumble and stand whole again"

She pecked my forehead and the light became dimmer and dimmer till all I see is darkness.

"No! please don't go"

"Yusrah! Yusrah wake up "

I sat up abruptly and stared with eyes as wide as saucers

"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihir raji'un. it's a dream" I whispered

"Are you okay? Minal questioned looking at me with a weird look

I nodded " Yes. It was a nightmare"

She sat on the bed next to me "Want to talk about it?

I shook my head "Not really"

"Okay. Go and perform wudu'u then, its fajr"

I nodded and sluggishly walked to the bathroom feeling every piece of me drained even when I just woke up. After performing wudu'u, I speared the praying mat, put on minal's long hijab and started praying.

When I was done, I recited my azkaar and gently took her Qur'an reciting it till 8:05am.

My neck ached when I finally closed it and stood up making my way to the bathroom to take a bath. Minutes later, I was out and changed into a pair of shorts and a loose shirt. I jogged downstairs to go meet aunt Hauwa because I know she is awake.

I walked into the kitchen and there she is, working with her back to me and her house help working along side her.

"Good morning " I greeted hugging her from the back for a brief moment before pulling away.

"Morning" she replied turning to look at me and smiled "You look cheerful"

I furrowed my brows "I do?

She nodded turning to the stove "It's good. It's very good"

"what's for breakfast ? I asked coming around to look at the food she's making.

"Scrambled egg and fries"

"Typical Nigerian breakfast" I teased helping her stir the scrambled eggs

She shook her head "Nigerians make chips. I decided to make fries" she replied with a grin

I turned to her amusingly "Is there a difference?

She laughed "of course there is. Nigerians make chips, Americans make fries. Fries are better than chips"

"Haa! Says the patriotic citizen"

She smiled and raised her hands "I prefer chips"

"I still see no difference" I replied

"It's the taste sweetie. The taste"

My brows pinched together "All potatoes have the same taste"

She shook her head grabbing a fry and munching on it "One is crispy, the other is soft"

I turned to her "It's actually the same thing in other countries like the Uk. Chips is the same as Fries"

She leaned into me as if letting on a secret and said "In Nigeria, their size and texture defines them"

"Okay" I replied surrendering to the argument "I'm starving"

We finished off the breakfast and arranged it on the dining table. After settling down, we served ourselves and dived in. The fries were crispy and an absolute delicacy alongside the scrambled eggs. Reminds me of the breakfast my mom and I make on the weekends.

I quickly cleared that thought off my head and started continued digging in. Later on minal joined me and together we finished my food and she left to the kitchen for another round while I went to the parlour to watch my favorite series.

"Are you like addicted to this series? Minal asked settling down beside me with her plate of food.

"Is that supposed to be a question ? I asked back

"No a statement " she replied sarcastically rolling her eyes

I was about to fire back when we heard a salam and we both turned our attention to the door watching as my Aunt walked in.

"Aunt " I squealed and rushed to her.

"Baby girl how are you? She asked drawing back to inspect me

"I am fine" I replied with a broad smile "How are you?

"Alhamdulillah" She mirrored my smile looking content with what she saw. "Go and get your clothes. Your father has been pestering me"

Minal greeted her and then in a pleading tone asked "Can she please add another day?

"I wish she could but her father has been asking about her. She will come some other day, we aren't that far after all"

Minal nodded "Alright then" and we walked together to her room to get my things.

She walked in and sulked down on the couch heaving a dramatic sigh.

I rolled my eyes "Don't be dramatic"

" I don't want you to go" She pouted

"I'm not dying maam. You can always come for a sleepover" I replied trying to zip up my bag.

"Of course! Sleep over. How come I didn't think of that ? She asked no one in particular but received a reply from me nonetheless.

"Errr because you are dumb?

She made an insulting gesture with her hand, grabbed my bag and walked out of the room while I followed suit.

We went out and I hugged Aunt Hauwa before bidding them goodbye and driving home.

I went to my father's side, greeted him and watched as he tried desperately to look whole, to look strong. The dark circles under his eyes, the eye bags and his dry lips did nothing but explain how miserable he has been these past days. And there I was, being happy and forgetting about the death of my own mother.

Guilt weighed me down so I sat next to him and watched the news even when I hate it. I sat and listened to him rant about the economy of the country as he let out every bit of anger and pain that is stored in his heart. When it is almost asr, I excused myself and walked back to my room.

Everything was the same as I left it. My books and school bag was flung on my couch, my bed was messy and unmade, my ring light is on the ground, my make up kit is half opened and my scarfs have littered the ground. The room is a cluttered mess and I stared at it wondering how on earth i was going to clean it.

I'm not proud of it but I am a very very lazy person. The only time my room looks neat is when my mom walks in and sees the mess. Then I'm forced to clean it and get a two hour lecture of how I should be clean and know I am a woman.

A conversation which usually bore and annoy me so much. What I won't give now to get another of that conversation from my mother.

A warm drop of tear dancing down my cheeks made me quickly fall back into reality. I recognize the heavy feeling in my chest and decided to take a shower. Shower always solves everything.

Minutes later, I was out, dressed and prayed. After that I walked to the dining and ate lunch then grabbed my phone, my AirPods, veil and walked out of the house to go for a stroll.

It was almost maghrib when i came back I prayed then went to sit with my dad for a little while, checked up on my aunt and retreated to my room.

An hour of checking the socials and playing game, my eyes started drifting and soon I was fast asleep. Probably even doing the little snores I never in my life agree to anyone.