(063 - Heartbreak)

Before we move further with the story, I'd like to introduce you to someone that will be making a fresh appearance in this chapter. With no further Ado, It is my greatest honor to introduce you to Simi's second mummy

(Ife-Toyosi Andréa Jordan, everyone!😭🥵❤️🔥)

Isn't she a Beauty! 😭🔥

And her making an appearance in this chapter of all chapters... hehehe😀. I have nothing else to say, so... Enjoy! (You guys will definitely not enjoy this chapter💀)

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𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀
(Simisola André Jordan)

Big sis 💕.

That was the caller ID that stared back at me when I picked up my phone to see who was calling me. And if I said I wasn't shocked by it, I'd be lying through my teeth. I mean, it was enough to diffuse the thrill of what just happened between Hilary and me in the pool, and nothing was strong enough to do that... except a few things.

This is one of them.

My elder sister, Ife-Toyosi Andréa Jordan, was calling me for the first time in almost forever

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like it was a bad thing that she was calling me, but I won't deny the fact that it was pretty strange.

It's been a pretty long while since Andréa and I have spoken on the phone or even via Facetime. And no, it wasn't because we were drifting apart or something of that sort because we were quite close, closer than most siblings that were about four thousand miles away from each other, separated by the ocean and also by the timeline.

She was studying for her masters in the United Kingdom, and that meant full concentration and no distractions- Dad's words, not mine or hers. Dad didn't like me calling her because he felt I'd be bothering her so we just resolved to chatting instead, whenever she had the time to at least. So her calling me was pretty surprising.

But my excitement definitely trumped my surprise because I haven't heard her voice in forever. So, I picked up the call just before the second ring was about to end.

"Since when does it take so long to answer my calls, André?"

The softness of her voice, accompanied by the queen's accent tone in her voice gotten from spending so long in the UK brought a reflexive smile to my lips. I couldn't even dare form hard guy at this point.

Mehn, it's been so long!

"I had to make sure I was seeing correctly," I answered after gathering myself. "You haven't called me in forever, Andréa." I reminded her while struggling to keep my excitement in check.

"Are you whining?" She asked, her tone teasing. This time, I couldn't stop the light laugh that escaped my lips.

"Oh hell no." I debunked it unashamedly. She cracked up and my smile widened.

It felt good to hear her again.

"It's really good to hear your voice again," I voiced out my thoughts, admitting easily to her how much I've missed her.

She didn't reply for a moment but I wasn't concerned about that. I couldn't see her face but I could easily picture her smile, that beautiful dimpled smile playing her lips.

Many brothers would not easily admit something so heartfelt to their sisters because it's not fresh, but not me. Andréa and I have been far away from each other physically than most siblings have been, but it has never caused any form of fallout between us.

She traveled out of the country as soon as she passed all the necessary exams. Heck, she didn't even attend her Prom or Valedictory service because Dad didn't think it was necessary. And ever since then, she has only been home once- once in the last seven years.

Yes. Seven Years.

That should have been more than enough to cause a rift between us but nah, we made it work... or rather, we tried to. So, just imagine how much this phone call meant to me.

"How are you, Simisola?" She spoke after a moment of silence. I paused, a small frown creasing over my forehead.

Simisola? I backtracked

That question would have gotten the usual type of answer and we'd have probably continued with the conversation if not for that slip-up. Andréa and I haven't called each other by our Yoruba names in years, and by years, I mean even way before she left for the United Kingdom. Heck, I can't even remember when last she used my Yoruba name.

Occasionally, I would slip up and call her Toyosi, or Ife, or Ife-Toyosi, but she has always stuck to André, my second name, no matter the situation. If at all she called me Simisola, it was only in very serious situations.

Is something wrong?

"What's up with you?" I asked her instead of responding to her question. There was silence from her side for a moment. I'd have thought she had hung up on me if I wasn't hearing her soft breathing.

"Is there something wrong in asking about your well-being?" She asked, a chuckle punctuating her question.

An Awkward Chuckle.

Instantly, I knew Andréa was trying to deflect. She had picked up on her blunder and was trying to deflect because I caught on. And that weird-ass laugh she just did was a dead giveaway that she was trying to deflect. She always does that when she's trying to avoid something.

"You called me Simisola," I noted. There was silence, so I went on. "You don't call me that, Andréa, ever. I can't even remember the last time you called me that, so something must be up." I explained to her.

If there was nothing wrong, she would have easily debunked my statement and told me I was overthinking it. But she didn't. She was quiet, yet again, and that was making me feel edgy all of a sudden.

Did something happen over there?

Is she okay?

Those were the questions that started racing through my mind, and soon, I got plagued with worry. The fact that she was far away and if at all there was something up, I could do nothing about it made me even more anxious. But still, I tried to keep an open mind, willing myself to think that I was just overthinking it.

But no, I wasn't overthinking it.

And it was way worse than I thought.

I didn't know that until Andréa spoke again.

"Fuck it," I heard her mutter under her breath. "When was the last time you saw her?" She asked.

I froze at that question because it was the last question I was expecting. And I didn't need her to spell out who she was talking about before I knew who she was talking about.

Mum.

She was talking about Mum. And that made the question a grossly odd one.

She of all people knew that I haven't as much as caught even a peek of Mum in almost two months. I have even resigned from trying to because of Dad, and the doctors being very evasive and cagey about her health status. That was enough to tell me that it was undoubtedly not stress.

I couldn't continue to handle Dad constantly feeding me that bull, so I stopped going to the hospital altogether.

And I've tried to forget.

By any means necessary, I tried to forget she was even there, but that question gave me a direct whiplash.

Having Gigi around helped a bit but there was so much she could do.

I've occupied my mind entirely with everything about Hilary. I really wanted to help her, but at the same time, I needed a distraction from my own problems by helping her solve her own. Falling for her was a big... BIG bonus.

But I guess I can only run away for so long.

"W-Why did you j-just ask me t-that?" I really hated the way my voice quivered, even with the way I was trying to be so nonchalant about the situation.

"It's just a question, Simi," Andréa answered.

That name again. It felt so foreign coming from her. It felt so wrong.

Something is wrong.

"You and I know it's not just a question since you know the answer to that question, Toyosi." I shot back.

"Don't you want to see her?" She asked me.

Wait, is she trying to taunt me?

"Toyosi you know I can't. And I've accepted I can't. So I'm just going to forget about–"

"Come to the hospital, Simi." She cut me off, and the rest of my words seized at her statement- request- order? I wasn't even sure which one it was, but it was enough to leave me shaken.

Perspiration broke out from every pore of my body and goosebumps sprouted on my skin, and no it wasn't the good kind. My heart started thumping thunderously against my rib cage that it started to hurt my chest to even take a breath.

Come? What does she mean by I should come to the hospital?

I looked over my shoulder at Hilary who was still in the water and found that she was already looking at me. From the look of concern on her face, it was obvious she had felt my distress. I quickly looked away from her, running my tongue across my dry lips.

"You are not being straightforward, Toyosi." I lowered my voice so that Hilary would not hear the conversation. She doesn't need to know what's going on, not yet at least.

"What are you saying?" I asked her, pleading for her to stop speaking in parables.

"Come to the hospital, Simi," She repeated, making me even more agitated. "If you really want to see mum, come to the hospital."

I didn't need any more push before I got dressed, jumped into the car, and started driving to the hospital.

Hilary was more than understanding when I told her that something came up and we had to leave, though I could tell that she could feel my distress. I even felt somehow that I had to cut my time with her short because I had a lot of plans for us today... well, that was until the phone call.

Now I had to go drop her off.

She has been silent throughout the ride, even though I could see her glance in my direction numerous times. I'd also feel her stare like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it and look away. I was glad she didn't prob me, not even sure what I'd say if she asked me any questions because I was confused myself,

... and disturbed.

Come to the hospital now.

Andréa's last words rang in my head for the thousandth time, making me girl the steering tighter, my mind running in wheels because of that statement.

She said Come, not Go like she was here, in Nigeria.

Is Toyosi around? Is she in Nigeria?

Does it even make any sense that she's here in Lagos?

Those were the kind of questions that started plaguing my mind, confusing the hell out of me and at the same time, leaving me with a truckload of worry and dread.

On a normal day, I'd have been excited about the thought of Toyosi visiting the country because it's been a while, but under these circumstances, the thought is scary as hell. Just how grave is Mum's illness that she had to come all the way from the United Kingdom just to see her if at all she's here in Nigeria?

This basically solidified the feeling I've been having concerning Mum's health status and the lies that surrounded it. For Toyosi to be here- if she is, then she must know something that I don't and that terrified the hell out of me because deep down, I want to be proven wrong.

I was hoping that one day, Mum would just walk into the house and tell me that she was alright, that I was wrong to worry. But now, with Toyosi telling me to come to the hospital if I want to see her, I had this gut feeling that my instincts are about to be proven right.

And heaven knows, I'm not ready for whatever it is I'm going to see there. Not when I have my heart in my mouth already.

God, don't let me be right. I prayed. For once, please don't let my instincts be righ–

"Simi?"

Hilary's voice cut my internal prayer off, causing me to jerk my head in her direction with a sharp speed that made my neck hurt a bit. I tried to mask my emotions, especially with the way she was watching me so intently.

"Yeah? What?" I asked her, managing a small smile. She smiled back, but not the kind of smile that told me she wasn't suspecting anything. It was the exact opposite and I began to wonder what exactly was going on in her head.

"You, uhm..." She began, pointing outside the window. "You just drove past the gate." She said.

A small confused frown appeared on my face, but immediately vanished when I looked out of the window and realized that I had indeed driven past the gate that led into her estate.

Shit. I slammed on the brakes, and set us jerking forward.

Thank God for seatbelts that held us back, else we'd have slammed our heads against he dashboard. And thank God the road was relatively free, so no one was coming behind us. If not, we'd have been hit from behind with how abruptly I slammed the brakes, and that will cause a whole lot of wahala.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I began to apologize, inwardly cussing myself for driving so absentmindedly. It didn't only give me away but also almost jeopardized the huge success Hilary and I made today on her swimming.

I looked at her apologetically.

"I'm so sorry, Hilary."

"It's okay. It's alright," she answered, smiling so softly like she wanted to ease me from the agitation I was feeling. "It's not that far, sha. We are only a couple of blocks ahead, don't worry." She said. I exhaled and made a reverse.

"I'm sorry," I apologized for the fourth time. "My mind isn't even here," I said that last part more to myself than to her, but her next statement indicated that she heard me loud and clear.

"That, I have noticed." She started, and that made me look at her. She held my gaze for a moment before that gentle smile appeared back on her lips. "It's okay. I understand." She added.

The fact that she understood even without me letting her in on anything made me feel bad. It was obvious that something was wrong with me and she could see that. Heaven knows, if I knew what to tell her, I wouldn't wait for another heartbeat before I do.

I want her as involved with my life as much as I was with hers.

Wordlessly, I drove into her estate and straight to her house. When I parked, Hilary didn't get and I was glad she didn't. I can't let today end like this for us, not after she made such big progress with her swimming.

"I'm sorry... for all this," I've lost count of how many times I've apologized in the last two minutes, but I just needed her to know that none of this was my intention.

I looked at her.

"I swear, this wasn't how I wanted us to end our day–"

"Stop it," She cut me off gently, the rest of my words seizing at the top of my tongue.

Exhaling softly, she reach for my hands that were unconsciously still gripping the steering wheel, peeling them off finger by finger till I wasn't gripping the wheels anymore. She held my hand in her soft ones, her thumbs rubbed soothing circles to the back of my palm, easing all the tension that came from gripping so hard. I exhaled.

It felt nice. Really nice.

"Simi, you have nothing to apologize for," She said to me. "What came up must be something really serious, especially with how agitated you are, so I can tell that you don't have a choice. You don't have to tell me but I totally get it."

I shook my head slowly. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I was intentionally leaving her in the dark.

"It's not like I don't want to tell you what's going on," I said to her. Then chuckled humorlessly. "Trust me, it would be so much easier to tell you what's going on if only I knew myself," I muttered to myself, but I knew Hilary heard too.

"But I can take it you have a guess," She noted. I cocked my head to the side, my forehead creasing inquisitively.

"What makes you think so?" I asked her.

"Well, you won't be as disturbed as you are if you didn't," She answered. Her response shouldn't have surprised me but it did. She just explained exactly what I was feeling without knowing she just explained exactly what I was feeling.

"Am I wrong?" She asked, mimicking me by bobbing her head to the side with a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

"You are not," I answered. "I do have a guess," I admitted. I was expecting her to ask me what it was, but she didn't, and deep down I appreciated her for that.

Hilary only held my gaze for a moment, looking at me like she wanted to take away every bit of discomfort I was feeling. But there was only so much that she could do with only little she knows. And it was obvious that she didn't want to pry.

Finally, she nodded, her eyes twinkling with understanding.

"Okay." She whispered.

That okay wasn't just an ordinary Okay. It wasn't one to end a conversation. I heard the unsaid you'll be- that came before it. She might not know the details of what's going on but she had an inclining that it might not be good, just like I did.

Hilary was attentive... discerning like that. She could pick up my kid from a while away.

It was one of the many things I loved and adored about her.

She leaned closer to me and I instinctively did the same. She kept moving till her face was just centimeters away from mine, arching her neck slightly to the back in a way that made it seem like mine was hovering above hers. Any slight move and our lips would be brushing against each other.

No, that's using the simpler words.

We'd be kissing.

I was very much tempted to make that little move, one little intimate moment with her that I'd savor and think about before I plunder myself into what might be a world of madness.

But I knew that this wasn't the right time, place, or situation to have my first kiss with Hilary.

I wanted to do it... so bad that it was hurting me to hold back, but I wanted to do this the right way. I wanted to do right by her, make my moves right, and make sure it would be one she'll never forget. And I could tell that she wanted the same thing.

It all has to be worth it in the end.

And for that to happen, I have to wait.

We have to wait.

So, she tilted her head slightly to the side, kissing the very corner of my lips, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from me and made my grip on her hand tighten slightly. The kiss was just as tender as it was teasing, inciting. It was like she was trying to tell me that she wanted to do this, as much as I did but this wasn't the right moment.

I exhaled shakily, feeling her breath on my lips as she pulled away slightly. I looked at her and all I could think of was how wanted she made me feel.

She also made me want her even more.

"Be careful, Simi," she whispered to me, her breath daintily kissing the skin of my face.

Breathless and unable to find my voice, I nodded.

"And please, keep your mind on the road when you drive." She teased.

That forced an involuntary chuckle out of me.

"Yes ma'am," I answered and she smiled. I wasn't sure if it was my eyes playing tricks on me but I saw her eyes flicker to my lips, briefly.

Keep it together, Simi. Keep it together. I chanted to myself.

"Call me." She said as she pulled away from me. I suddenly felt cold, Hilary's warmth leaving with her. I had to hold back from asking her to come back.

"I will," I promised.

She smiled one last time before finally getting out of the car, leaving me feeling more longing for her than I have ever felt.

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By the time I got to Eden City, it was already getting dark... and so were my feelings.

That sensation of love and yearning I felt when I was with Hilary ceased at the gate of the hospital, substituted with that feeling of fear and dread that lessened when I was around her.

With unsteady hands on the steering wheel, I drove through the gates and into the spacious parking lot, easily finding a spot to park the car in. And when I did, I turned off the ignition but didn't get out of the car. Instead, I sat still, tossing my head back against the headrest as I mentally prepared myself for whatever I was going to see when I step foot in that hospital.

But deep down, I know that there was absolutely nothing that could prepare me for the confirmation that my mum is sick, or prepare me to finally know how bad it is.

Maybe I was just overthinking this, right?

This can also be a confirmation that I was wrong, and mum is probably coming home today... right?

Those thoughts were cap and I knew it. It was just my mind trying to think of something positive that could come out of this, but that wasn't how I felt.

There was this dominating dark aura looming around me just at the mere thought of my mum. It wasn't a good feeling, and as much as I try to push the feeling away, it's like it has been rooted deep in the core of my soul that nothing good could ever come out of this visit.

Nothing good has ever come out of my visit to the hospital, but this time it was just on another level.

A deeper, unnerving level.

"You have to get out of the car sooner or later, Simi," I told myself, though my behind remained glued to the leather seat.

"Come on," I whispered. "Come on, come on." I kept chanting.

Hiding out here won't change the inevitable. It won't change a thing inside that hospital. In the end, whatever I have to see... and know, I would sooner or later.

And I'd have to accept it.

So, I willed myself to get out of the car and started making my way into the hospital building. But it got even harder at that point to simply walk.

Every step closer to the glass doors of the hospital made my feet feel heavier and heavier. I had the half mind to run back to the car and lock myself in, but I knew that wouldn't change a thing. So, I pushed myself and kept pushing myself till I was finally through the glass door and inside the hospital building.

The hospital was suddenly too white- too bright that it hurt my eyes.

It irritated me.

I wasn't sure if it was because I just came from somewhere dark, or because the brightness and whiteness of this place were so ironic, and suddenly baseless.

White symbolized Goodness and Hope, but nothing a lot this place made me feel good, or hopeful for that matter. All I could feel was more intense darkness looming around this place, around myself. I didn't like this place.

I hate hospitals so much!

"Can I help you?"

The gentle voice pulled me out of my thoughts and back to the present, making me realize that I was already standing in front of the counter at the reception. I wasn't even sure how I walked up there, and I wonder the kind of fright I have given the kind-looking, middle-aged nurse by just standing and staring into space.

"Are you okay?" She asked me, looking at me with so much concern. "Do I need to call you a doctor?" She asked me, reaching for her landline. I quickly held out my hand to stop her.

"Yes- I mean, no." I stuttered out, my thoughts completely disheveled and in chaos. The nurse lowered the telephone from her ear, looking at me as of to ask what then I needed.

"I... uhm..." I trailed off, swallowing as I tried to get my thoughts together. "I'm looking for Kendra Jordan," I informed her. "She's a patient here," I added.

The nurse started typing into the system in front of her with the information I just gave her. All the times I've been here, I've never seen her at the counter so she definitely didn't know that other nurses have been sending me away. Or maybe the restriction on my name has been lifted.

I wasn't sure anymore.

"Who are you to her?" She asked me, looking away from the computer and at me briefly.

"I-I'm her son," I hated the way I wouldn't stop stuttering. "Simisola Jordan." I introduced myself. She nodded and continued the type away while I waited, rather impatiently if I might add.

I'd have gone myself to mum's room, If only I knew where it was. Dad had the hospital change her room from the initial room that was given to her when she got admitted, and I wasn't sure if it was because of something else or if it was because of me.

But knowing the extent my dad has gone to hide anything that has to do with mum's health from me. I could easily conclude that it was the latter reason. It made me wonder if he knew about Toyosi asking me to come here.

"I'm sorry," the nurse said and I looked at her. She had this conflicted look on her face as she looked back at me. That look was enough to tell me what I needed to know, just like the other gazillion times I'd been here.

"Let me guess," a small smile made its way to my lips. "There is still an access restricted ban to my name, isn't it?" I asked her. She seemed really shocked at that but still nodded to my question.

You have got to be kidding me. I chuckled humorlessly, running my finger through my hair in utter frustration.

"Great. Fantastic." I mumbled to myself.

Dad: 1,000,000.
Simi: 0

"I'm so sorry,"

The woman sounded genuinely apologetic about the situation, like what was going on was beyond her control, which it actually was. I had an inclining that she was new. The other nurses didn't seem to care and they weren't this nice to me.

"I wish I could–"

"André?"

The familiar accented voice cut the woman short and alerted all of my senses.

Wanting to confirm that I wasn't dreaming, or conjuring that voice up in my head because I spoke to her, it didn't take me another second later before I turned around, following the call of my name from the direction her voice came from.

And yeah, I wasn't hallucinating.

She was standing right there.

My sister was standing right there, smiling as I met her eyes.

A shaky sigh escaped my lips and my shoulders dropped in relief at the familiar face I was seeing. Despite the circumstances, I couldn't stop the happiness that started bubbling in my chest at seeing her for the first time in a very long time.

She looked really stunning, more gorgeous than I last remember, clad in a nude long-sleeved kimono over a white turtle neck and matching dress pants with matching sneakers. Her weave was a straight one, falling over her shoulder and down her back

(Our Elder sister y'all 🥵🔥❤️)

Leave it to Ife-Toyosi Andréa Jordan to slay in the oddest of situations.

I didn't waste any more minutes before I started walking to meet up with her.

"Madam, he isn't-" The nurse began to protest.

"Don't worry, he is with me," Toyosi told the woman and that kept her quiet.

The closer I got to my sister, it reminded me how little we looked alike. The resemblance was there but only if you looked closely. I look mum's look and she took Dad's, being several tones darker than I was. The few things we shared from both our parents were our height, from Dad. From mum, it was the color of her eyes.

The radiant shade of topaz-colored irises that stood out distinctively for both of us.

Standing so close to her, I realized that a lot has changed in seven years. Given that we both took Dad's height, she used to be so much taller than me. But at twenty-four, she has stopped growing tall and I was now spotting the same height as her. I finally have bragging rights on that particular topic.

"You're really here," I noted as I stood before her. She smiled, cocking her head to the left and right, her weave swaying airily in the process.

"I thought my 'come to the hospital' would have been a dead giveaway." She said to me. I chuckled lightly, nodding my head.

"It did. I just had to be sure you are actually here before I get my hopes up." I answered, mimicking her smile.

"I am. I'm here, André," She whispered, holding her hand wide open for me. "Come here," She said to me, and I wasted no time falling into her embrace.

I relished the feeling that came with being bugged by my sister for the first time in years, regardless of the circumstances we were in at this moment. I have almost forgotten what hugging her felt like because of our time apart, but this was a good reminder.

And it felt nice.

She also smells nice. I thought to myself, catching a whiff of the familiar citric and bubblegum scent that I knew so well.

"I've Missed you," I whispered. She chuckled, hugging me tighter.

"I've missed you too." She whispered back.

It felt good to be in her arms but I couldn't ignore the fact that there was something about the way she hugged me that felt very different. It wasn't just a big that said she missed me. It also felt like she was comforting me; her hands rubbing soothing circles over my back, patting me in a way that said it's going to be okay.

It felt like she was bracing me for whatever she was about to show me.

And when she pulled away, she had this sad smile playing on her lips. It was subtle and could pass as a normal friendly smile if one doesn't look closely, but I could see it. Then when she trailed her hands down my shoulder to grab my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, I confirmed it.

"How bad is it?" The words left my mouth before I could stop them.

Her smile fell instantly, and her hands plopped down to her sides. Her once bright expression was replaced with a forlorn one. She obviously wasn't expecting me to ask as directly as I did. I didn't expect it myself, but it's better to rip the band-aid off, isn't it?

"Simi..."

There it is again. The switch in my name.

I was going to laugh at how ironic this was, but there was absolutely nothing funny about this present situation.

"Just tell me." I cut her off mid-sentence.

There was no point beating around the bush. I've been wanting to know exactly what's wrong with my mummy and I've been kept in the dark for far too long. Now that I have the opportunity to know, I'm not wasting any time on frivolities and delicacies in the situation.

You want to know, but can you handle the truth? My subconscious asked me, causing my heart to skip a beat at that question.

I pushed the voice to the back of my mind.

"Tell me," I repeated when Toyosi won't speak. Her shoulders slumped and sadness, grave sadness overcame her features.

My heartbeat started picking up momentum.

Toyosi has always been one to keep her emotions in check, no matter how bad a situation is. I can still remember vividly the time she bashed Dad's brand-new car because she wanted to impress her friends that she could drive at the age of fifteen. My sister didn't as much as flinch as Dad razed fire and brimstone around her.

But now, to see the usual brazen and bold demeanor of Toyosi falter scared the living daylight out of me.

But, I prepared myself for this. I'm ready, right?

"It's not good." She shook her head, her voice in a solemn whisper. I swallowed, letting out a shaky breath. Not knowing what to do, or say at this point, I nodded.

I can't break down. Not now.

Pull yourself together, Simi.

"C-Can I see her?" I asked. Toyosi nodded in a heartbeat.

"I wouldn't have asked you to come here if I didn't want you to."

She led the way to an elevator. It was a distinct kind of elevator from the rest because it read "special wards" with an arrow pointing down. When we were safely inside, she pushed on a button and we started going down.

"But dad clearly doesn't," I muttered, referring to her last statement. She heard me but said nothing because she knew I wasn't lying about that.

"Dad wouldn't even let me get past the reception, so I take it that he doesn't know I'm here," it was more of a statement than a question because it was a certified fact Dad didn't know I was here. Nonetheless, Toyosi nodded.

"He doesn't," She said.

"And you still brought me here?"

"You deserve to know what's going on, Simi," She answered, looking at me. "We can't continue to keep you in the dark about all of this. It's not fair to you at all." She said.

Yeah, no kidding. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

It felt like we were going down for hours and with every slight jerk of the elevator, my heartbeat increased in pace. Then when the elevator made a sound that we have gotten to our chosen destination, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

As the door slid open and we walked into the quiet hallway, I froze in my steps, my palms getting sweaty. And no matter how much I rubbed it against my pants, it was still dripping.

The feeling of horror came back in full force, especially with the fact that this particular hallway, unlike the ones upstairs was deserted and eerily quiet. Usually, I was a big fan of quiet places because they allowed me to think, but not this one.

Definitely not this one.

I didn't like the quietness of this place one bit.

I hated it.

"André?"

It was only when Toyosi called my name that I realized I had stopped walking. She was ahead of me, just realizing that I wasn't walking with her. Seeing my expression must have told her exactly what I was feeling because she looked at me with so much pity.

"What is this place?" I asked her.

"Simi..." she whispered pleadingly, walking up to me.

I have never hated my name as much as I hate it right now.

"I don't like this place, Toyosi," I voiced out my concern immediately after she got to me, shaking my head. My eyes started to sting and I knew that it was already filled with unshed tears. I used the back of my hand to wipe it off.

"I h-hate this place."

"I know," Toyosi whispered, taking my hands in her and squeezing them in a bid to appease me. "I understand, Simi, I do. But I'm here with you, and I'm going to do this with you, okay?"

She was pleading with me, begging me with every reassuring squeeze, with her shaky voice, with her eyes that were identical to mine. But it did nothing, absolutely nothing to change the way I was feeling.

"I don't like the way I'm feeling," I muttered, shaking my head. "I don't like the way I'm feeling at all, Toyosi," I felt a small wet drop on my face and I knew that the tears I'd been trying so hard to push na m was breaking through.

When I saw the tears welling up in her eyes as well, my heart shattered. Not because of her but because the realization of how bad things were was finally dawning on me. It has just been mere speculations before, but now, seeing her like this; scared for me? They weren't speculations any more.

"I know," she whispered, tugging me around to start walking. This time I didn't protest.

This was what I wanted right? To see my mum. And I'm finally seeing her. But no matter how prepared I thought I was... I wasn't.

Not even in the tiniest bit.

"I've got you," she swore to me, and I could do nothing but nod.

Slowly, she led me down the hallway. Every door we passed had my heart thumping even louder and heavier than before in my chest because I kept thinking that it was the door to my mum's room. Toyosi led me further and further down the path till we finally stopped at a door.

It felt like my heart stopped beating with it.

We are here. This is it.

The door was closed and I couldn't see anything. But just the simple thought of what I might see when it opened terrified me to the code.

Toyosi looked at me as if to ask if I was ready.

I wasn't.

I don't think anything could have prepared me for what I was about to see. And she knew that but she also had to open the door... to get this over and done with once and for all.

So, she reached into the pocket of her pants and brought out a keycard, sliding it over the censor. It beeped and my heart skipped- the red light turning to green. Toyosi squeezed my hand, a gesture that was supposed to be reassuring but did nothing to reassure me.

Then she held onto the doorknob and turned it, pushing it out of the way to reveal the room... and who was in it.

I DIED... at the sight in front of me.

I totally forgot what it meant to take a breath because as soon as my eyes landed on her, my breathing seized.

I don't know what was holding me up because I should have slumped at the lack of oxygen. Maybe it was the grave terror that overwhelmed me or the immense sadness that washed over my entire being. Or maybe it was both.

A strangled sob escaped my lips, and I brought my shaky hands to cup my mouth for fear that I might scream.

That's not my mum.

That cannot be my mum.

My mum was vibrant, and energetic, with a smile that could light up even the darkest of places. She had the body of a goddess, even after having two kids. She was spirited, a big ball of fire with the heart of a five-year-old. The person lying on the bed had none of that.

None!

The frail, extraordinarily skinny, and bony person with pale and dry skin, lying on the bed with an oxygen mask over her nose and tubes attached to every pet of her body, connected to machines tracking her heart rate and supplying anesthesia to her body cannot be my mum.

This is the wrong room.

This has to be the wrong room... right?

Right?!

"Tell me something..." I forced myself to speak, looking at Toyosi. "Anything, whatever it is that would make me believe that it's not my mum lying in there," I begged her, unable to stop the tears from cascading down my eyes in a torrent.

But she said nothing, and I saw unshed tears in her eyes. She was trying to hold her own together, maybe trying to be strong for me... but me?

I was falling apart.

Piece by piece.

"P-Please..." my voice broke as sobs escaped my lips. "This is not mum's room, right? We are in the wrong room... right?"

Still, she didn't respond. And it suddenly infuriated me that she wasn't giving me the answer I needed.

"ANSWER ME!" I screamed, the intensity and depth of the pain in my voice echoing through miles of the hospital.

"Shhh..." Toyosi quickly rushed to me, gesturing that I should keep my voice down. "Simi, please..."She tried to cup her hands over my mouth but I pushed her hand away from me.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

I pushed myself away from her, and she didn't protest, stepping away from me. I went back to staring at mum's frame sprawled lifelessly on the bed, almost swallowed whole by the hospital gown she had on and its bed sheets.

I stared at her till it began to hurt, physically hurt to look at her like that. I had to look away, sobbing silently as I hit my head repeatedly against the wall.

I couldn't even go close to her to look at her properly. I don't want to see her like this. I never want to see her like this.

Make it go away. Make it all go away.

I chanted to myself, crying, breaking down like a baby.

My mummy!

"Toyosi?"

Dad's voice filled the room, causing me to jerk away from the wall and turn around. That made him notice me, and immediately, his eyes widened in horror at my presence. I could imagine the shock he was feeling, seeing me right now.

But for me, every single pain, hurt, and sadness I was feeling metamorphosed into an astounding rage.

"What the hell is he doing here, Toyosi!" He whisper-yelled at my sister, and that alone fueled my anger.

"YOU KEPT THIS AWAY FROM ME!" I started stomping toward him heavily, causing him to move back and into the hallway as he raised his hand in surrender.

"Simisola-" He started to speak, his voice pleading. But like hell, I will let him speak.

"YOU FUCKING KEPT THIS AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed, attempting to lunge at him. Toyosi jumped between us to stop me from reaching him, her hands splayed over my chest to push me back.

"Stop!" She yelled. "Please Stop." She begged me.

I glared daggers at Dad, wishing my gaze would incinerate him on that spot! I was so blinded by rage at this moment that I wasn't at this man as my dad.

I was looking at a man that enjoyed making me suffer!

"I had no choice." His voice was calm like he was trying to reason with me. This was the first time in a very long while that he would talk so calmly to me, or try to reason with me.

But we had to be in this kind of situation for him to the that?

Bullshit! It was too late for any of that.

"You had no choice? You had no choice!" I yelled at him.

"I was trying to protect you!" He retorted.

"Oh fuck you!"

"Simi!"

Toyosi chided but I wasn't listening to her. Not when I was burning with undiluted fury.

"How long has she been like this?" I pointed to the room, keeping my eyes trained on the man called my father, not earring to look into the room at mum. "She has been like this from the very beginning, right? That's how long you have been lying to me, abi?"

He kept mute, proving me right. I chuckled humorlessly again, using the back of my hand to clean my running nose

"So what?" I held his gaze. "You were going to keep me in the dark for how long? Till she's gone?!" I screamed at him, lunging at him again but still not getting past Toyosi.

"Of course not! Don't talk like that!" He cried out to me, his voice filled with so much agony that could have left me shaken on a normal day.

But this was no normal day.

He kept me away from my Mummy!

And I hate him for that.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. A thought I didn't like.

I looked at Toyosi.

"How long have you known?" I asked her. Her face fell even more.

"Simi, it's not what you think-"

"Tell me!" I demanded. Tears fell from her eyes, a sigh of resignation leaving her lips.

"A month ago."

"A month..." I trailed off, laughing and shaking my head. "And how long have you been in Nigeria? Here in Lagos?" I asked again.

"Two weeks."

"Wow!" I breathed, and a teardrop left my eyes.

So it has just been me. I've been the only one kept in the dark about my mum's health. I wasn't worthy enough as her son... as her blood to know what was really with my own mother, so much so that my elder sister has been in town for two weeks and I'm just hearing about it.

Heck, she didn't even come by to visit me.

Is that how meaningless, and irrelevant I was to either of them?

Fan-fucking-tastic!

"You know what?" I cleaned my eyes with the back of my hand, looking at both of them.

"I Fucking Hate you both!" I spat out.

Dad exhaled, his shoulders slumping in dejection. But Toyosi? Toyosi visibly broke at that statement, a strangled cry escaping her lips.

"Simisola-"

I don't even know who spoke between the two of them because I didn't wait one more minute to listen to what either of them had to say. I spun on my heels and raced down the hallway to the elevator. Hearing Toyosi scream my name, and run after me didn't stop me. If anything, it made me run faster.

I entered and closed the elevator before any of them could catch up with me, maneuvering through the numerous doctors, nurses, and patients when I reached the top floor to get out of the hospital and to the car.

Then I zoomed out of the parking lot and into the busy streets of Lagos.

I drove like a madman high on crack, swerving through the road like a maniac. My vision was blurry with tears and I could hardly see the road clearly but I didn't care. With the way I was feeling, maybe I might as well just run into a truck and die.

Don't be reckless, Simi. Don't be reckless. A voice chided me.

But what's the point of living when my mum is dying?

You could have an accident! Your mum is not dead yet but you want to die? What about your Dad? Your sister?

They are dead to me!

Then what about your best friend, Gloria?

What about Hilary?

That automatically had me punching the brakes furiously, halting the car so abruptly in the middle of a very busy road. The cars around me honked so loud, some of the drivers hurling curses at me in Yoruba and languages I didn't even know existed in Nigeria. But I didn't pay them any heed.

My heart was in my throat, my heart beating at a rapid pace as the realization of what I was doing dawned on me.

I could have killed myself.

Get off the road, Simi.

It was her voice this time. Soft. Persuasive. Hypnotic. It willed me to make a turn, and I drove into a deserted road, parking my car by the raid bridge that overlooked a small body of water. I turned off the ignition, throwing my head back against the headrest.

Everything started coming back to me. The picture of my mum on the bed, attached to tubes and machines that were helping her breathe, keeping her alive.

Fresh, uncontrollable tears started brimming in my eyes.

My lips began to tremble, my hands shaking so much that I had to fist them beside me. But that didn't stop them from shaking so badly. Cold from nowhere washed over me and made me shiver. I felt like I was freezing, like my blood with icing up.

I was in pain. Physical. Emotional. Mental pain.

I thought I was ready.

I thought I could handle it.

But I can't.

I can't handle it.

Then don't.

Her voice again.

Let it out, Simi. Let go.

And I did. Right there, in the safety of my car parked on a deserted road by the river,

I shattered into a million pieces.

𝐀/𝐍

Omo💔.

So finally, we are getting the full gist about Aunty Kendra's health. I mean, every single one of us already knew that she was ill, but Simi discovering it for the first time makes it a whole new ball game. I can't even count the number of times I cried writing this.

And this is not even the hardest part 💀.

For the first time, we get to see Uncle Demilade mellow. Him sef, e know say e don fuck up. His intentions were good, but he shouldn't have kept Simi away from his mum. And Toyosi... she shouldn't have waited this long. I'm just pitying the entire family sef.

What do you think Simi will do after this? Will he go back to the hospital? Most importantly, will he forgive his Dad and Sister for keeping something so delicate away from him? Let me know what you think.

The next update will come next week (by Gods grace). Schools are resuming back so I'm going back to work, and that means an irregular schedule. But I'll make it work. I will try.

Till then, you know the drill. Kisses ❤️.