(052a - Who Is Faking Part 1)

God will help me to be a lot more constant than I am in updating because heaven knows I want to give y'all back to back. But time🤧, time won't permit me to drop as many updates as I want to, so bear with me.

Also, I have to say this. If you want to ask me for updates, please don't do it on my message board. It is a public place and anyone that is checking out my page will see it. I don't want that. My DM is always open.

And also, there is a way you should ask, with respect and courtesy. This babe just came to my message board sometime last week and started demanding for an update. She was like "Please do fast and update, some of us are tired of waiting". Very rude and entitled. The most annoying part of it is that she's a ghost reader.

Sigh... I'm not even going to talk much. But if my update schedule isn't good enough for you, pause your reading and wait till the book is complete, because I will never let anyone pressure me for an update. Tenks.

How many of you have missed Semeeha🌚? Hehehe 😌.

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𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐇𝐀
(Semeeha Iris Malik)

It took the driver driving into the school compound, parking in the lot and me surveying some of my classmates that walked from the lot into the school building to realize how pretty... over the top I was dressed.

It felt like a lot.

I looked like... a lot.

My makeup was loud and bold, something I wouldn't normally apply on my face, especially my lips. They were excessively glossy, glossier, and fuller than they usually looked when I apply lip gloss.

Asides from my face, there was my outfit. The alterations in my school uniform were going to draw a lot of attention to myself, the kind of attention I wasn't sure I'd like or be comfortable with, especially with how almost bare my chest was.

My tiny, mosquito-bite-sized boobs were almost spilling out of my shirt.

But wasn't that the idea? To create an image that will draw a lot of attention to myself, especially his attention?

I shouldn't even care if I looked a certain way to my classmates. I wasn't supposed to care about what they'd think because their view of me was irrelevant and unimportant and I shouldn't let it bother me.

Besides, if Gigi Esho can confidently dress like this and gain all kinds of positive responses from our classmates and humongous respect from the entire school to the extent that she was able to still bag the Head Girl position, then I can do the same thing and get the same reactions.

Right?

Right. Of course.

And it's not like everyone's reaction mattered to me anyways. It was just his. Kizito's reaction was all that mattered to me. Everyone else can go and die for all I care.

But even after that kind of thought, a thought that should have been enough to spark some sort of confidence in me, I still found myself sitting put in the car, nervously tugging down on the hem of my shirt that had ridden up against my skin, trying as much as possible to cover as much exposed skin as I could.

Even though it was already flat. Even though it was already perfect.

I looked at the reflective glass that separated the back seat from the driver and passenger's seat and brought my hand up to my chest. feeling the bare, exposed skin of my cleavage, unease immediately washed over me and I began to feel very uncomfortable with the thought of walking into school with my chest exposed like that.

Gigi Esho doesn't even expose her chest this much.

So, I buttoned it all up, leaving just the first button off so that I would be able to breathe.

But still, it wasn't enough for me.

The feeling from earlier, that feeling of elation I got from looking at myself in the mirror and seeing how sexy I looked was nowhere to be found. Instead, the sudden need to cover up my body was overwhelming and it didn't sit well with me at all, especially since this was what I wanted from the beginning. I prepared so hard to nail this look.

I can't back down now. Not when I've barely begun.

I want to feel... to look sexy for Kizito Alade-Martins. That's the goal of today and I have to achieve that no matter what.

At that point, Mother's words replayed in my head.

...The industry is not a good place for people that don't have confidence in their bodies, so even if you don't have it, you fake it...

Fake it.

Fake the confidence, Semeeha. No one deserves to see you as anything less. I prepped myself, taking a deep breath.

So with that, I pushed this new feeling of insecurity down to the back of my mind, the closet of my heart, and the pit of my stomach, and mustered up the courage from my mother's words before I finally got down from the car.

Then, I fixed my face, giving my lips an extra pout, adjusted the strap of my bag hanging on my shoulder, and started making my way to the senior building.

I've got this. I told myself.

But heaven knows, I've got nothing.

It was nerve-wracking and completely agonizing walking through the stairs and hallways that led to the SS3 block. And no, it wasn't about the heel boots. I'm a model and I've walked in things a lot higher than these heel boots.

It was because I could feel every single eye on me, all the way from the last floor that was the SS1 wing, to the top that was the SS3 wing. It was exactly as I expected. I mean, you can't make this kind of change to your entire outfit and not get a reaction from your classmate.

But the fact that I knew that didn't make every step I made any less excruciatingly painful. It felt like I was walking on nails the whole way even though I tried not to show it. I didn't for once turn to meet anyone's eyes, but I could feel their gazes burning holes into my skin.

If there was anything I hated the most, it had to be walking all alone amid Crestview students, especially my classmates. Their stare was enough to make you feel like they have been judging you your whole life and they were just waiting for your downfall, no matter how popular or confident you were.

I tried my best not to trip on my own feet. If that happened, I'd just die.

That's why every single day since Hilary and Dawn stopped walking with me, I made sure to always walk with Kizito. Walking with him by my side made being amidst my classmates a lot more bearable. It's not like I even notice them when he's around me.

It's not like I notice anyone for that matter.

But for days now, we haven't been in touch. Or rather, he hasn't been in touch with me, canceling our plans completely with not as much as an explanation. But he didn't have to explain before I knew the reasons... or reason.

Gigi Esho was gaining a higher priority in his life again. It wasn't hard to miss them, especially in school. It was infuriating to watch.

That was all I needed to solidify the next phase of my plan. Hiding Kizito's phone whenever we were together or deleting Gigi's call entry from the log whenever she called wasn't good enough anymore. I had to do more. And I was doing more. The most even.

It had to be the most with the way people couldn't keep their eyes to themselves. I was on the verge of yelling at them to stop looking at me, that the way they were staring at me made me feel so uncomfortable.

But of course, I couldn't let them know how much their stare affected me. I mean, the whole point was for people to notice me distinctively. And if every single person I passed in the hallway could give me a second look, Kizito won't be an exception of course.

And that was enough to keep me going as I walked towards my class, praying not to bump into anything or anyone that wasn't of substance.

That prayer wasn't answered, of course, because I ran into someone just as I wanted to enter the classroom, causing my bag to slip from my shoulder and fall to the floor. I yelped, almost falling on my butt.

But the person I had bumped into held me before I could fall and embarrass myself, pulling me to a hard, but unfamiliar body to steady me. Instinctively, I fisted the shirt of the person, balancing myself back on my feet.

"Easy," Came the pretty familiar voice that made me look up to the person.

My eyes met Collins', staring down at me. And as if he was just realizing it was me he was holding, his face scrunched up in an expression that looked like something between confusion and shock.

"Semeeha?"

He called my name like he wanted to know if it was truly me he was holding. That was when it registered in my head that he was still holding me against his body.

It was weird.

I pulled away immediately, folding my hands across my chest.

"You should watch where you're going next time," I told him, bending consciously because of the length of my skirt to pick up my bag and the books that had spilled out of it from the floor. I heard him chuckle lightly before I saw him bend beside me, helping me pick my books too.

I could feel his eyes steadily on mine as he did that.

"You bumped into me," He corrected, and I rolled my eyes. "But no problem, I'll take the advice." He added, his lips pulled to the corner in a small smile. I wasn't sure what he found amusing anyway.

He was always like this, always smiling that is. I don't think I have ever seen Collins frown before. That didn't even make sense because I don't understand how someone can be so happy all the time. It irked me, just thinking about it.

"Whatever," I muttered, standing upright and he followed suit, handing my books over to me.

As I took them from him, I realized that he was staring at me. Really staring. I didn't need anyone to tell me that he had also noticed the change.

But unlike my classmates that judged you with just one look, Collins looked rather inquisitive and confused at the same time. His head bobbed to the side as he peered at me, his eyes searching my face as if he was just seeing me for the very first time.

The unease from earlier flooded its way back in, but I tried my best not to let it show in my features.

"What?" I asked, feigning a nonchalant eye roll.

"You look different,"

He didn't waste any time stating the obvious, his eyes still trained intently on my face. His eyes shone with something akin to fascination, and I immediately assumed he liked what he saw.

Collins was one guy. Kizito was another. If Collins can like it enough to be this mesmerized, Kizito was going to be awestruck by me.

My lips stretched in a lopsided smirk at that simple thought, a feeling of pride replacing the unease I was feeling.

"Really?" My lips stretched even further. "Good different or Bad different?"

I don't know what prompted me to ask. Maybe because I wanted him to outrightly admit that he liked what he saw. Saying I looked different wasn't good enough. I needed him to feed my faux confidence a little, give it a bit of weight.

I didn't get what I wanted. Because all Collins did was shake his head slowly, his surprisingly well-carved brows folded in a slightly confused frown like he was trying to figure out the obvious answer to my very simple question.

"I don't know..." He trailed off, his tone like he genuinely didn't know the answer to my question. "You just look different." He repeated.

My face contorted up in a deep, unsatisfied frown as I just looked at the dark-skinned boy in front of me. He looked back at me, very much oblivious to the kind of effect his statement had on me. I don't know why I was letting simple words from someone as basic as Collins affect me, but it was affecting me.

If he meant it to be a compliment, then I didn't see it as one. At all.

"If you meant that to be a compliment, then you failed woefully, Collins." I voice out my thought, brushing past him to enter the surprisingly empty classroom.

"I didn't mean it to be a compliment. Was just saying." Came his reply as he walked in behind me, and I imagined him punctuating with a shrug.

That simple, seemingly harmless reply had me missing a step and almost tripping on air to fall face flat on the floor. That simple statement made me lose any form of feeling in my legs. Every single bit of self-confidence I had tried to build up from the parking lot to this place, even though they were fake, diminished into nothing.

I felt weak to the sole of my feet and struggled so hard not to show it. Instead, I let out a humorless chuckle as I dragged my rubbery legs to my seat.

"Wow!" I whispered when I finally settled down, looking at Collins that still looked oblivious to the effect of his words on me. "You really do know how to hype a girl."

I guess the last statement was a dead giveaway of how I felt because I saw his neutral expression falter, followed by a soft, inaudible mutter of words to himself.

"I didn't mean it the way it sounded," He held his hands up in surrender, and his face graced with an apologetic look as he walked closer to my corner of our seat.

But even with how genuine he sounded, I didn't believe him.

"Of course you didn't," I muttered, more to myself than to him. But of course, he heard me because of how close he was standing to me.

He exhaled, running his hands through his face while I tried to busy myself with arranging my books into my locker, trying my best not to think too much about how his words made me feel... ineffectual. Almost worthless.

"I really didn't mean it like that, Semeeha. I swear," He sounded like he was promising me, like he was trying so hard to convince me that he didn't mean it the way I had interpreted it.

It was almost as if he knew how much it was affecting me.

No! There is no way he knows that, right?

"It's not like what you said means anything anyway," I spoke up, trying to debunk any thought of me being affected that he might have. I tried to seem as nonchalant as possible, keeping my face poker and busying myself with the arrangements of my books inside my locker.

"Your opinion about me as unimportant and as insignificant as you are, Collins," I said to him as I went on with what I was doing, not looking up to see if my words affected him in any way.

Knowing Collins, they probably didn't. And even if they did, it will just roll off his back and he'll get over it. This wasn't the first time.

Still, I didn't have the mind to look up to get his reaction. His silence made me feel uncomfortable, and I could feel his eyes on me as I arranged my books as slowly as possible. I don't know, maybe it was the fear of feeling bad for him that made me not to.

The air became very tense and awkward, especially with how awfully quiet Collins was. I still didn't look up to him, even after I was done arranging my book and there was nothing I could busy my hands and mind with again. I resolved to search for only God knows what in my bag, pretending to be looking for something as I silently prayed for my classmates to start entering the class.

But no single soul did.

The silence was starting to get grossly unbearable for me to handle. I probably would have darted out of the classroom if Collins didn't finally speak up.

"You are Beautiful, Semeeha,"

My heart jumped in my chest.

His choice of words sure earned a reaction from me, because I didn't see it coming from a mile away. It wasn't just about the words, but also about the way he had said it... like he was stating some sort of indisputable fact.

I stopped what I was doing abruptly and looked up to meet his eyes. His face gave absolutely nothing away, at least nothing that I could place. But his eyes told a different story entirely. There was this softness to his gaze on me, his eyes twinkling with an emotion I didn't know the name of.

It unsettled me to my core. But not as much as him calling me beautiful did.

I was tongue-tied, but that didn't deter Collins because he went on.

"You have always been beautiful," He said, his words punctuated with his signature shrug. "You still look beautiful right now," I watched as his eyes swiftly scanned my frame as he said that. "You just look a different kind of beautiful... permit me to say, a beauty that isn't yours,"

What? I was confused.

"What do you mean?" I found my voice and asked. Collins watched me silently for a moment as if to ask if I really wanted to hear him say what he had to say.

But I didn't just want to hear say it. I NEEDED to hear him say it. No matter how much I tried to make myself believe that his opinion about me didn't matter, it did matter.

It mattered a whole lot.

"You are naturally pretty, and you have always looked like it." He stated after he confirmed that I wanted him to speak, his words stroking my ego and tickling my fancy just a little bit, even though I knew that there might be a big blow right after.

I still listened.

"But this," His eyes gestured to how I looked presently. "Is a lot bolder and louder than your usual look. You look like a whole new... different person," He added, his eyes scanning my frame again.

"So?" I frowned. "Are you saying I'm not allowed to style myself and upgrade my look?" I queried him. "Are you saying I'm not allowed to look different if I wanted to!" My voice was already rising.

He quickly shook his head at that.

"That's not what I'm saying at all," He debunked, his voice calm in contrast to mine. It irritated me how composed he looked and sounded while I was on edge.

"Semeeha," He sighed. "I'm just saying you don't look like your usual self," He stated, getting me a lot more irritated with how he sounded like he was stating undisputable facts about me.

It was as if he was telling me things I didn't know about myself. That didn't sit right with me at all.

"I get you totally," He continued, oblivious to my irritation. "Of course, you are allowed to upgrade your look and try something different. You'll still look beautiful nonetheless,"

Even with his high praise, I could feel a but coming.

And even though I knew that there was a but coming, I wasn't sure why I sat down and waited for him to say it. I wasn't sure why I didn't dismiss him right there and then before he said something that would send my mind tumbling for the rest of the day.

I let him say it.

"As I said earlier, you look different," He spoke, and I shifted to the edge of my seat, waiting for him to continue. "But if you want me to specify the kind of different you look, then I can't. Because I really don't know if it's a good different, bad different, or just... plain different,"

What!

That cut deep. Really deep.

Did this nigga just indirectly call me plain? Me, Semeeha Iris Malik, Plain?!

The frown that appeared on my face didn't seem to deter him from talking any further.

"All I can say is that... it doesn't seem like you," He said, taking another scan of my frame, but this time, his eyes lingered a little bit as he said his final bit. "This doesn't look like the Semeeha I know."

He concluded with that same casual shrug that has been irritating me for the better part of our conversation. And I think that's what even got me more pissed. The fact that he was casually throwing insults right in my face.

How can he say I am beautiful one minute, then tell me I look different the other minute? Was he expecting me to take it just like that?

The audacity of this boy!

"Well, thank you very much for the observation, Collins, but you don't know me! Stop acting as if you do!"

I fired at him, my voice coming out in a snap that echoed through the classroom and might have even escaped into the busy hallway, alerting my classmates.

I didn't care, anyway. I felt incredibly insulted and I had to vent

But the dark-skinned boy at the receiving end of my venting, as usual, didn't look the least bit fazed by my lash out at him. All he did was raise his hands in surrender, a small, apologetic smile playing on his lips.

"I'm sorry," He apologized, but I scoffed, not buying it one bit. "You did say my opinion about you is unimportant and insignificant. They shouldn't matter, right?"

"They don't matter, and never will! So do me a favor and keep them to your fücking self next time." I fired back at him.

Collins didn't as much as flinch at the intensity of my voice. He just nodded, that apologetic smile still playing on his lips.

"Okay," He whispered, still nodding. Then he added. "I'm sorry, Semeeha," Before flashing me a final, radiant smile that irked the hell of me before he turned around and started walking out of the classroom.

I glared at his retreating back till they disappeared out of the class, heaving heavily like oxygen had been knocked right out of me. At that same moment, just as Collins walked out, my classmates began to walk in, bringing the rowdiness and noise on with them.

But their noise did nothing to distract me from the annoyance I was feeling.

There's no way he was truly sorry after intentionally trying to make me feel bad about my new look. If he was a girl, I'd have honestly concluded he was just being jealous. But he wasn't a girl so I don't understand what sick pleasure he was trying to derive from making me feel bad.

Some people just don't know how to shut up, especially Collins. He just had that bad habit of butting into something that was never and will never be his business. The first time, he was showing his concern about my strained relationship with Dawn and Hilary. Now it's about my new look. What next? He'll probably say I'm too skinny and I should eat more.

His sorry attempt of trying to figure me out was annoying as fück.

I don't know who he thought he was, but he needs to stop acting like his opinion about me could hold water or something. He should know his place, because like I said and he rightly knew, whatever his opinion was about me or anything that had to with me, it was just as irrelevant as he was in my life.

Simply put, they meant nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.

You lie, Semeeha. You lie. That annoying tiny voice sang in my head, reminding me of its presence there.

If they really do mean nothing, you won't be trying so hard to cover up. It said.

It was then I realized that my hand was fisting the hem of my skirt, absentmindedly dragging it down to cover my exposed thigh. My bag was even settled on my lap, and I had also absentmindedly positioned it to cover my exposed tummy. And trust me, that wasn't even the height of it all.

I brought my hand up and touched my finger to my lips, only to realize that they weren't that glossy anymore. I didn't need anyone to tell me that I had, perhaps, licked the majority of the lip gloss away from my lips, cleaning most of it off.

That shocked me.

What the fück?

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School was almost halfway over and I was still yet to set my eyes on Kizito.

No, not even as much as a glimpse.

And that was pretty weird because he was never in one place. If he wasn't in class, he was having a meeting with Big Guy. If he wasn't having a meeting with Big Guy, then he was on the field training or in the gym walking out.

Even if he wasn't in any of these places, doing any of these things, he won't become a total ghost because he'd have been somewhere around the block. Either that or I'd have heard his name from the lips of some guys, hyping him as he walks by.

But that wasn't the case because I couldn't find him anywhere.

Since teachers were busy with the lower classes, we haven't had any teachers in our class all day. That gave me the freedom to go in search of Kizito, which turned out to be futile of course because I didn't find him in any of his possible locations. Not in the stadium, or gym, and definitely not anywhere on our block.

No one even mentioned his name anywhere, which was very strange.

I'd have concluded that he didn't come to school but I saw his bag when I went to check him in class, as well as his car in the parking lot. And when I tried his number, he didn't pick up. Dawn or Hilary might even know where he is, but I didn't have it in me to stand up and ask for their help.

It's not like they'd help me anyway.

Though Hilary might, Dawn possibly won't. She was arrogant like that.

I haven't even seen either of them today.

Enough about them.

If I didn't know any better, I'd have resolved that Kizito was avoiding me. Out of fear, I almost started thinking that he must have figured out what I was doing, deleting Gigi's calls from his log and not telling him all the times she called and I picked. I mean, now that they were getting together a lot more lately, Gigi would have told him, right?

But then I got rid of that thought because I knew better.

If Kizito had found out, he'd have confronted me about it, right? He wasn't one to shy away from one on one confrontation, no matter who you were. Besides, the last time we spoke was four days ago, when he canceled our plans for the evening. He genuinely didn't sound like he knew something.

Or was it pretend? Did he know and he was pretending? Was that why he stopped hanging out with me?

The possibility that he might have found out was a little high, especially since Gigi could have already told him. But I didn't want to conclude until I was certain and that's why I needed to find him. Even if he already knew, I had an alibi.

I wasn't dumb enough to delete just Gigi's calls from his log. It would seem too suspicious if it was just her incoming call that was going missing from the log. I even left some of her calls, the one I picked from many weeks ago, and deleted some of Kizito's outgoing calls too.

Thinking about how smart that idea was made me smile.

I smart die.

In every way, I still had the upper hand with Kizito. I was his best friend and was first in his life before she ever existed. Kizito will believe me no matter what story Gigi tells him. And if she was as smart as everyone gave her credit for, she'd have figured that out and understood by now that whatever she has with Kizito can never be compared to the bond the both of us shared.

She doesn't even stand a chance between the both of us. She never has.

And with that thought, I got up from my seat and walked out of the rowdy classroom to continue my search for Kizito. This time, I bear in mind that I also had to keep my eyes peeled out for Gigi because they might just be together.

I tried not to think too much about them being together in ways they might be together, trying to get rid of every lewd image of them that began to conjure in my mind. If I think about them for another second, I'll throw up. And heaven knows, I have nothing left in my stomach to throw up.

It's all temporal. I assured myself, taking a deep breath to calm myself.

What they had was temporal, a passing phase. And that's what made it easier to manipulate.

I looked for him in places I hadn't checked before, like the library, but he wasn't there. As I moved out of the library, getting pretty frustrated, I almost bumped into someone for the second time today.

Urgh! I growled inwardly in annoyance

What made it even more annoying was when I looked up to see who it was and met the eyes of the very last person I thought I would run into. I couldn't help the hiss of irritation escaped my lips.

I didn't think twice before bypassing the person, making sure to knock my shoulder as hard as possible into his as I walked by.

"Hello to you too, Semeeha," He called after me, and I stopped short on my steps immediately.

I didn't stop walking away because of what he said, but because I realized that he could help me with Kizito's location, no matter how very irritating his presence was at the moment. Asides from his Girlfriend and his two other besties, if there was anyone else that might have an idea of where Kizito was, it was Jidenna Okojie.

Turning around on my heels, I found him still standing there, watching me. His expression gave nothing away, but I could swear I saw a soft glimmer in his eyes as I walked towards him in slow strides.

"Don't think I'm coming to engage you in a conversation because you are not worth my time, Jidenna. In fact, you are not worth sharing the same breath as me." I spelled it out for him, just in case he was getting any ideas in that empty head of his.

The glimmer I saw in his eyes earlier faded away, and he nodded slowly.

"Noted," He whispered, still dimming it fit to smile. It disgusted me seeing him smile like that, making me wonder how could still smile even after everything he made Hilary go through.

He certainly never had a heart.

I just wanted to walk away and go back to ignoring his entire existence, but I needed him at the moment. He might know where Kizito was.

"I know you now completely useless, lagging in not only your head boy duties but also in school work," I rapped out, folding hands across my chest. If he was affected by the way I spoke to him, he sure didn't show it.

Who is he trying to form hard guy for? I rolled my eyes.

"Make yourself useful for once in your life and tell me if you have seen Kizito around," I stated, eyebrows quirked in question. But the stupid, curly-haired boy that used to be my friend just stared back at me like a dummy.

What's wrong with this one?

"Jidenna!"

"Sorry," He shrugged. "I'm just trying to figure out of that was a request or an order," He mimicked my stance, folding his hands across my chest. A vein in my neck ticked.

This boy is such an idiot.

"You are in no position to act smart with me!" I growled at him, but he didn't flinch.

"No, I haven't seen him anywhere," He finally answered me. I hissed, cussing myself for wasting my time with the airhead. Now it made perfect sense why he has been failing his classes lately.

How did this idiot become the Head boy for Heaven's sake? How was I ever friends with this guy?

"Useless," I hissed again, turning around to walk away.

"You should check the recreational building though," He called after me, causing me to stop and turn to him, face contorted in a frown.

"He has been spending his time there a lot lately, so that's probably where he is," He added. My frown deepened.

"And you couldn't say that first!" I snapped, glaring at him. He rose his hands up in mock surrender.

"Well, you were being very mean to me," That was his freaking excuse, and I knew he only said that to spite me.

Heaven knows I'd have marched up to him right that second and slapped him if I wasn't already in a hurry. I just growled and turned around.

"Fück you, Jidenna,"

"You're Welcome," He called after me, and I flipped him both of my middle fingers.

Fool. I hissed for the third time.

Still, I followed his lead, making my way down the stairs that led to the recreational building located adjacent to the senior block.

The place wasn't empty like it usually was because I could hear the voices of people chattering in the rooms, the echoing of the wooden bat smashing the ping pong ball, and the faint sound of Right Round by Flo Rida coming from the dance studio.

The Atmosphere wasn't noisy, but everything was pretty loud enough to get lost in. Standing in the middle of the hallway in the building, I couldn't pinpoint the specific rooms each noise was coming from. Everything just echoed out and mashed together in the open space.

But even that, even with all the noise, only one sound caught my attention and drew me right in.

It was his laugh. Kizito's laugh.

For a second, I thought I was imagining it, then I heard it again and realized it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Jidenna was right. He really was somewhere in this building.

I don't know how I could pick up on something that sounded so faint and faraway, especially amid loud noises. Maybe it was because I already had the deep... sonorous sound of it registered in every part of my mind and every corner of my heart.

And at that moment, every other sound faded away into nothing and all I could hear was his voice.

So, I followed the sound of it, allowing it to sweep me off my feet and take me. I don't think my feet touched the floor all the while that I followed the voice. I think I floated the way. It seemed far-fetched, but what the heck? That's exactly how it felt like.

In no time, I was standing in front of the old Chess club meeting room at the end of the building, and I could hear Kizito's beautiful laugh louder and clearer now. Soon, my eyes landed on him, standing inside that room, his stance telling me that he was leaning against something, a table perhaps.

That was the final indication that I had not imagined his laugh at all. That he was right there, standing just a few feet away from me.

That was all the go-ahead I needed to walk into the room and talk to him.

But I couldn't leave my position in front of the door. I couldn't walk in. Because just as I had predicted, she was right there with him.

Gigi Esho was in the room with him. And she was the one making him laugh.

I should have turned around and walked away that very moment. I should have spared myself the torture of having to watch them live and direct. But I couldn't bring myself to turn away. I stood, rooted to the sport, and watched them.

I'll never get used to seeing them like this. Never.

But then, I couldn't look away.

They were so close, standing body to body. While Kizito was sitting at the edge of the table that stood in the middle of the room, Gigi was settled in the open space between his legs, leaning against his body. He had his hands around her middle, his fingers drawing unnameable patterns to her back.

Her hands were around his neck, low giggles escaping her lips like what he was doing with his fingers tickled her or something. I watched as her hands traveled from their position around their neck to cup his face, bringing his face closer to hers.

I still couldn't stop looking at them, even when I felt irritation build up in my chest.

They were talking about something I couldn't hear, their voices in hushed whispers. It seemed like a serious conversation because they couldn't take their eyes off each other for once.

The eye contact was intense. I could feel it from where I stood. It was almost as of they were communicating more with their eyes than with their lips.

It was just as fervid as it was aggravating.

It felt so disgusting watching them that I was so close to shedding tears. I should be the one in Kizito's arms. I should be the one standing in her position, not her.

It should never have been her. I was never supposed to be her. Anyone else, but Gigi Hadiza Esho.

But still, I don't know why I couldn't stop watching them even with how excruciatingly painful it was to see them exhibit such closeness... such overwhelming intimacy. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't look away from them,

Not until they started kissing.

What started as a chaste kiss turned into a full-blown make-out session.

I looked away immediately, feeling bile rise in my throat, the bitter feeling of it clogging my lungs and messing up my mouth.

That should have been all I needed to walk away at that moment. I couldn't stand there and watch them kiss, I'd rather gouge out my eyes and feed them to bats.

But walking away meant I was accepting defeat gradually. It meant that I was backing down slowly. It meant that I was letting Gigi Esho win, even with everything I have worked for, and with every effort, I have made to get to where I was right now.

God forbid I let that happen.

I banged my fist against the door harshly, breaking them apart. Then, I popped my head inside through the crack of the door, mustering the biggest, fakest smile playing on my lips as soon as my eyes met theirs.

"Semeeha," Kizito called my name as soon as he set his eyes on me, his eyes glinting with the same surprise I could hear in his tone, a perfect contrast to the expression on his girlfriend's face.

If Gigi Esho was shocked to see me here, she sure as hell didn't show it. She just stared right at me, something that resembled a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. But she didn't step away from Kizito, consciously or unconsciously marking her territory.

It irked me, but I tried not to show it, allowing the big smile to keep stretching so wide that my face began to hurt.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," I tried to sound as sweet as I could, pulling my lips to a pout in a faux, apologetic look and clasping my hands together in a begging gesture.

Of course, I wasn't sorry. But they didn't have to know that. Their expressions didn't give away that they caught on my lie so I knew I was selling perfectly.

"It's okay, it's fine," Kizito said, glancing at Gigi as if to ask for some sort of permission from her if it was okay with her too.

I almost rolled my eyes at that.

Even if it wasn't okay with her, she won't say anything. That's how it always goes.

"Is there something you need?" Kizito asked, peering at me inquisitively.

I couldn't help but notice the undertone in his voice. An undertone that indicated that he wanted me to talk fast and get out so that he can go back to making out with his girlfriend.

Too bad. I'm not going to let that continue so soon.

"I need to talk to you right now," I told Kizito. It was more of an order than a request, but I kept my voice as gentle as possible. Then, I glanced at Gigi still resting in his arms, and mustered a smile before adding, "And alone, please,"

A frown creased over Kizito's forehead after I said that, and I knew he was somewhat displeased at my request. And even in his displeasure, he didn't let go of Gigi.

Again, I fought the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes.

"Now?" He asked and I nodded, making sure not to take no for an answer. Kizito won't even want to say no.

"Can't it wait till after school or something?" He continued, trying his best to convince me. "I'm kinda in the middle of something as you can see," He still didn't let go of Gigi. And because of that seemingly minute thing, I refused to budge. Gigi Esho has had her turn with Kizito for today.

Now, it's my turn.

"It can't wait," I adamantly maintained, keeping my eyes trained on his so that he'd see that I wasn't back out. Gigi should also take the hint and get the hell out of the room.

"Semeeha-" Kizito wanted to continue to argue, but Gigi cut him off.

"It's okay," She said, her hands splayed over Kizito's chest as if to calm him down, and he looked at her.

"It's probably very important, so I should just excuse the two of you," She glanced at me as she said that and my lips stretched.

She took the hint. Smart girl. I smirked.

Kizito on the other hand didn't look like he wanted her to go. Even when she was pulling away slowly, he still kept his hands wrapped around her.

"Are you sure?" He asked her, looking at me as if to give me a signal that I needed to leave. But I looked away from him before he could fully meet my eyes, scratching the back of my neck like I was busy with something else.

"Yeah, of course," I heard Gigi's reply, small laughter in her voice, and looked at her. She was smiling as she tried to persuade him, her hands still splayed over his chest ever so casually like it was a normal thing to do.

I began to imagine my hands in place of hers on his chest, touching the taut muscles of his well-sculptured chest and the feeling steady... or erratic beating of his heart against my palms. I wanted to be the one doing that to him, not in a friendly way but a much more intimate manner.

Very intimate manner...

"Take your time here," Gigi's annoying voice alerted me from my thoughts, bringing me out of my reverie. She was still trying to persuade him and I was getting rather impatient.

"We'll see after school, don't worry," She added, and he sighed.

"Okay," He finally agreed, shoulders slumped in the same dejection that he had written all over his face. I was elated though, waiting for Gigi to walk out of the room so that I'd have some alone time with Kizito.

But she just had to giggle, whispering "come here" to him before she gently pulled his head closer to hers and kissed him... right in front of me. She honestly didn't seem to care that they had an audience. She still went ahead to kiss him, completely disregarding my presence there.

Either that, or she did it intentionally to spite me.

Maybe, just maybe Gigi Esho knew exactly what she was doing.

They finally pulled away from each other, just when I thought I'd have to clear my throat again for them to remember that there was somebody with them, watching them shove tongues down each other's throats.

Disgusting.

"I'll see you after school," Kizito whispered and Gigi nodded with a smile, finally stepping away from me fully. She turned to leave, now completely facing me.

Gigi was a few inches taller than I was, and it was pretty obvious, even with the heel boots I had on. With the way she was looking at me, I felt like she was looking down at me, from beneath her nose. It felt intimidating being looked at like that, sharp cat eyes peering down at me like I was her subject.

But of course, I made sure not to show how a simple stare from her affected me. I mimicked her stance, straightening my back so that it would at least boost my height just a little bit. I was still not as tall as she was, but I was close.

And I held her gaze. It was difficult to stare Gigi Esho right in the eye, but I held her gaze, showing her that I wasn't affected by her stare when in fact, it was making me sweat.

It seemed like Gigi didn't even know the effect of her piercing gaze because right after she stared me down, her lips stretched slightly in that graceful smile of her just as her eyes did a swift scan of my frame.

"Cute fit," Was all she said to me before she sidestepped me and walked out of the room, not even waiting for my response.

Not like I had any response. I was still trying to gather myself after that stare. I couldn't even focus on her outfit. Didn't get to see if she was matching with me as I hoped. But with the way she spoke, the way she complimented my outfit, it was like she noticed it.

Not like if she did or not. It's not like I dressed up for her. The person I dressed up for was standing right in front of me, staring right at me with an expression I couldn't read marred across his face. But I could tell he wasn't too happy with the fact that I interrupted them.

That's the whole point, Kizi boo. I fought the urge to smirk.

"What was that about?" He nodded to the ajar door, where Gigi had just walked out from.

"What was what about?" I asked with a shrug, feigning ignorance. He threw his hands out and his mouth fell open slightly, a sign of surprise that I didn't know what he was talking about.

I did know, but he doesn't have to know that of course.

"I don't know, the fact that you were adamant about speaking with me even when I told you I'll meet up with you after school," He spelled out for me, his eyebrows quirked. "You saw that I was busy. You met Gigi here," He said.

"And she agreed to leave. It's not like I asked her to," I told him, shrugging again. I mean, all I did was stand my ground and she got the hint.

"But you pressured her to," Kizito maintained, causing me to frown because I wasn't expecting him to make this such a big deal. "Of course, she had to leave. What were you expecting her to do? Argue with you?"

Wow.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of something so small, Kizito?" I asked him, walking closer to him.

He chuckled humorlessly, repeating the words something so small under his breath. He said nothing after and just went back to staring at me with an expression I couldn't read. It made me begin to wonder again if he had figured the deleted call logs out and if Gigi has been telling him things. Things that might put me on the spot.

But still, I mimicked his stance, trying to keep up with my nonchalant demeanor so as not to give anything away.

"You are getting unnecessarily defensive and it's making me wonder if you are pissed at me for something," I said instead, holding his gaze squarely.

Kizito scoffed out a low laugh.

"And why would I be pissed at you?" He asked, his brows tugged up in question.

His question put me on the spot. He was either asking a genuine question, or he knew the obvious answer to that question and wanted to test if I was going to fess up.

I took the safer path.

"I don't know?" I shrugged, still holding his gaze. "The same reason why you have been canceling all our plans from last weekend to this week," I said to him. "The same reason why I've been calling you throughout today and you haven't been picking up," I added, making my tone as accusatory as possible.

Kizito's face scrunched up in confusion as he reached into the pocket of his grey school uniform pants and fished out his phone. He tapped some buttons for a few seconds, paused for a bit, and then sighed.

"My phone didn't ring out," He defended himself, shoving his phone back into the pocket of his trouser before looking back at me. "It's been malfunctioning for weeks now. I should probably get it fixed soon," He said that last bit more to himself than to me, but I heard him.

I don't know if that was meant to be an excuse for him not picking up my calls. I mean, he sounded genuine, but I wasn't buying it.

"Malfunctioning," I repeated, trying not to let sarcasm sip into my voice.

"Yes, Malfunctioning," He answered, holding my gaze. "Sometimes, my phone won't ring out and I'll miss some phone calls," He stated. "In fact, some calls have even gone missing from the log," He added.

"Oh," Was all I said.

I knew that last bit was all me, but I didn't know about the rest. The whole ring-out thing might just be a little volume problem but either way, it is such a wonder it was indirectly working in my favor. There's no way he can trace it to me after this.

"It might be a system problem," I chipped in, trying to be the supportive best friend.

"Same thing Gigi said," He said, and I almost hissed at the way he still found a way to include her, consciously or unconsciously, even in just a passing, irrelevant conversation about his malfunctioning phone.

I rolled my eyes.

"Of course, she did," Because she's so smart and always knows the right things to say.

Metchew. I hissed

"You are doing it again," Kizito's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. When I looked at him, he was watching me, and had probably seen the sarcasm written all over my face.

Still, I acted oblivious.

"Doing what again?" I asked him.

"Disrespecting Gigi," He answered. I allowed a frown to appear on my face.

"I am not disrespecting her," I countered.

"You are," He countered back. "I heard the sarcasm loud and clear. You are disrespecting her. You have always been disrespecting her. Heck, you even disrespected her minutes ago when you made her leave. You don't regard Gigi, Semeeha, and you know it,"

"And what if I don't regard her?" I challenged. "You of all people know that I don't like her. I've never liked her, so I don't get the big fuss you are suddenly making about the whole thing,"

"The big fuss is that she's now my girlfriend, Semeeha!" He retorted, shutting me right up by reminding me yet again of the biggest reason why I hated the bitch.

Girlfriend.

That word disgusted me to the core. Deep down, I knew that no matter how I tried to convince myself that being the best friend held more water in Kizito's life, I still wanted to be the girlfriend.

I wanted to be both, so bad that it hurt.

Of course, Kizito didn't notice how I had suddenly gone silent or how his words affected me. He just went on talking.

"She's my girlfriend and you are my best friend," He continued, adding salt to the injury. "It doesn't make any sense that you are not even the least bit civil with her. You hold her in such little regard that you didn't even dim it fit to let me know when she calls and you happen to be the one picking,"

She told him.

"I forgot," Was my lame-ass excuse. And Kizito knew.

"You forgot?" He repeated, obviously not buying it. "You forgot to tell me that my girlfriend called me and you picked up? Or that it wasn't a one-time thing?" His brows furrowed and his forehead creased in a frown.

It was like he was suspicious. I wasn't completely certain but I knew that whatever he might be feeling, I shouldn't act in a way that would make him even more suspicious... whether he originally was or not.

"Look, I don't know what Gigi has been telling you, but-"

"Shockingly, she didn't even tell me anything," He debunked immediately, surprising me.

What?

If she was not the one that told him, then who did?

Dawn and Hilary were completely out of it and no other person was coming to my mind. So it was either Kizito figured it out all on his own, which I doubt, or someone I couldn't for the life of me place told him. And I have canceled out everyone close to Kizito.

Who is the fucker?

"In fact," Kizito was still talking. "When I asked Gigi why she didn't tell me that she had been calling and you have been the one picking, she also said you might have forgotten to mention it,"

Again, what!

My eyes widened slightly, but I got over the shock quickly. It didn't stop the wheels in my head from turning though.

Gigi giving me a benefit of the doubt was something I didn't see coming. It was something I couldn't wrap my head around.

It felt fake. It had to be fake. Gigi doesn't care about me enough to have my back with Kizito. I know that for a fact.

She was faking it. She had to be.

"But of course, you believe her," I started, a deep frown marred across my face. "And yet, you didn't believe me when I said I forgot to tell you. Real nice, Kizito. Believe the girlfriend that also doesn't like me, because it seems like I'm the only one with the faults. I'm always the one with the faults,"

Trying to manipulate him again, are we Semeeha? The annoying still small voice was back.

But this time, I had a good reply to give it.

If that's what it takes to keep having a hold over Kizito, then so be it.

He sighed

"I'm not faulting you," He began, his voice calm like he was trying to reason with me. "But it will interest you to know that Gigi has absolutely nothing against you-"

"Of course," I cut him off with a scoff and an eyes roll, not hiding my sarcasm anymore.

"I'm serious," He maintained, making me look back at him. He looked just as serious as he sounded, but I didn't believe him.

"Semeeha, I've been spending the last few weeks with you and away from her, and all she has ever been is understanding of the situation," He told me, trying to explain to me that Gigi Esho really had nothing against me.

Like hell.

"She didn't pressure me, she didn't get pissed off when I canceled our plans just to hang out with you. She was understanding," He went on. "If she didn't like you, she wouldn't have sacrificed that much because of you or had your back in secret. She has nothing against you, and that's saying a lot because you have everything against her for no just reason,"

SHE HAS YOU AND THAT'S REASON ENOUGH!

I wanted to blurt out, but I held my lips, swallowing all the words down to the pit of my stomach.

"It's okay if you don't like her," Kizito continued irrespective of my silence. I looked at him, holding his gaze as he held mine with his rather serious ones "I'm not going to force you or ask you to pretend to like her-

But I need you to understand that that girl is very important to me, Semeeha. She is very precious to me,"

My heart fell when he said that, when I had to hear him openly declare how much Gigi Esho meant to him for the second time.

The first time was the night after TK's party.

"Don't disrespect her," It sounded like a plea, but at the same time had an undertone of a warning. "I can't take that from anyone and I won't take it from anyone. Please don't put me in that position with you. I don't want to have to be in that position between the both of you. Please,"

My heart fell even further, just as it was beating fast, causing my chest to heave rapidly.

I heard the hidden message behind his words loud and clear. It was the same message he had passed across that night after TK's party, when he was begging me to accept Gigi as his girlfriend. The night he told me he didn't want to have to choose between the two of us.

He was begging me again not to put him in that position. Yet, I don't see him begging her just like he was begging me.

Am I going to keep compromising for that bitch? God forbid.

"I think it's high time you patched things up with Dawn and Hilary," That definitely brought me out of my solitude.

"What!" I exclaimed, my eyes widened.

"It's long overdue, Semeeha!" Kizito sounded just as exhausted as he looked. "Are you okay with being by yourself? Because I don't think you are. Besides, I'm not going to be available to hang out with you as often as you want, and I don't want you to be lonely," He explained, and I scoffed.

"And of course I have to be the one to apologize, right?" I asked, sarcasm sipping from my voice. Kizito exhaled.

"I never said you had to be the one to apologize," He corrected. "Just talk things out with them and settle whatever is going on. I don't like the way you guys are. This is the longest they have ever gone without speaking to you and it's not sitting well with me at all,"

"Yet, you are talking to me and not them,"

"Semeeha please," He pleaded with me, begged me, the frustration in his tone very evident. "Please,"

I was so adamant about wanting to patch things up with the girls because I knew it was going to be very difficult to do. That is why I needed them to come to me. That's how it has always been. They get upset with me over something I say, but they are still the ones who come to me.

But that wasn't the case this time.

Hilary might be easier to talk down, given that she had tried to get my attention severally. But Dawn? That girl might be small but she was very tough.

I called her bluff when she spelled it out to me that she would stop being friends with me if I didn't genuinely apologize for the things I said to her. I underestimated her ability to keep a grudge because it has never happened like this before.

Urgh!

I let Kizito see my frustration. I just stubbornly maintained my stance, refusing to give him a definite answer on whether or not I'd try to patch things up with them.

He finally gave up, sighing in exhaustion. Then he nodded, as if in understanding.

"Take your time,"

He whispered as he moved close to me, pulling me into the briefest hug ever and pressing the smallest kiss to the side of my head. I wasn't even able to enjoy or savor it. It ended just as soon as it began.

What the hell?

"I have to go," His voice interrupted my thoughts as he pulled away. "I'll talk to you later,"

He didn't wait for my response before he walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

And it wasn't until five minutes after he walked out that I realized that the whole purpose of me looking for him around school today had been defeated.

Kizito didn't compliment the change in my look.

No. That was even far-fetched because he'd have had to notice my look before thinking to give a compliment.

Kizito didn't notice the change in my look.

𝐀/𝐍

Kizito haff given Semeeha upper cut🙂💀. Even after all the makeover, the alterations to her dress, that she had to throw up just to fit in. Even after all the effort to get his attention, she still didn't get his attention the way she wanted.

But it seems like she got Collins'🌚... a Gigi's 👀.

Do you think Gigi noticed that Semeeha was dressing similar to her?

Semeeha and Double-Standards 🤝🏾

Thankfully, it seems like Kizito is getting his priorities straight. I liked the fact that he set Semeeha straight when she was subtly shading Gigi. A boyfriend that has his girlfriend's back even when she's not there, I Stan.

But do you think this will be enough to put Semeeha on a leash? I think not.

Will Semeeha apologize to Dawn and Hilary? If she does, what do you think their reactions will be?

Till I see y'all next week, you know the drill. Kisses 😘.