(047b - A Lesson on Closure Part 2)

This chapter is dedicated to every single family member out there, officially or unofficially. I really want to appreciate your help these past few weeks, especially this week that just passed. Thank you so much for always having my back, I honestly don't take it for granted. Y'all are the best, and I love you no capping🥺❤️✨.

Also, thank you so much for the 65k+ views on this book. On our way to 70k Guys. We are literally two months away from the book clocking one year 🙊😲. Yeah, I can't believe it too! We have come a long way y'all, and we'll keep moving🔥❤️.

P. S. This chapter is heavily unedited. I'm so sorry.

Let's dive in🔥.

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𝐉𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐀
(Jidenna Leo Okojie)

I didn't bother going back to the locker room after the text message I got from Adela. It was only about thirty minutes to the end of school so I decided I'd just shower at home. Besides most people had gone home already, most SS3 students at least because we weren't writing the upcoming first term exams with the rest of the school.

So, I made my way to the Health Centre, a storey building located just behind the senior block, and overlooked the garden. The male ward was on the top floor of the building so I had to take the stairs. Everywhere was surprisingly quiet. I couldn't even hear the nurses gossiping.

Trust me, those women gossip like there's no tomorrow. And they are loud as fuck.

They have probably gone home. Lazy people.

I entered the male ward, and just as I thought, the nurses weren't on seat. But that didn't mean the ward was empty because she was there, just like she said she'd be.

The strap of my bag slipped from where it was hung on my shoulder as I stood in the doorway and silently watched her.

Adela was attending to someone, crouched in front of the boy sitting on one of the beds. I could only see the side of his face so I didn't recognize him, but I knew for a fact he wasn't from my class or our set. Maybe in SS2 or SS1 because he looked quite mature to be in a junior class. Adela was massaging his ankle and I could tell he must have probably sprained it while doing a sport.

But that wasn't even what caught my attention.

What caught my attention was the way Adela was speaking to him, calmly and soothingly, saying things that made the boy giggle so uncontrollably as if he had just seen his crush. Adela was gentle with him as she daintily massaged his ankle, a complete opposite of how she had massaged mine the first day we officially met. The boy wasn't even wincing, not to talk of crying out in pain.

He looked like he was in a daze, gazing at her like she just descended from the moon, skin sparkling like the stars were embedded in it.

Either they didn't know I was in the ward, watching them, or they decided to intentionally ignore my presence, I don't know, but either way, I didn't like what I was watching. I don't like the fact that this junior was ogling Adela unashamedly. And if I could see it from a mile away, Adela could obviously see it just a few feet away from him, but she didn't act on it.

I tried to fight the frown from appearing on my face but failed. My forehead creased so hard, that my head started hurting at the compression.

The boy looked nothing more than sixteen years old, and I was certain Adela was nothing less than seventeen. Either way, she was way out of his league, so how dare he ogle his senior like that? Better question, why was Adela letting him ogle like that?

No. Better question, My subconscious began. Why are you getting so worked up?

I just don't like when these junior boys think they have made it and start scoping their seniors. It's the height of disrespect for me.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat before I could stop myself, the hoarse sound coming out a lot louder and exaggerated than I intended and I cringed at how I sounded like a tuberculosis patient.

But it did the trick because the both of them turned in my direction, noticing me for the first time. I could feel the boy's eyes on me, but he wasn't the reason I was here so I didn't spare him a glance. My eyes, however, were on Adela, just like hers were on me.

I gulped involuntarily

Now it made perfect sense why the junior boy wouldn't stop staring at her earlier. Her face was bare and void of make-up, except for her signature nose ring which always seemed to accentuate the effortless beauty that Adela probably didn't know she possess.

But this wasn't about her Beauty. It was about her Eyes. There was something absolutely enchanting and beguiling about the way Adela looked at a person. Or at me

I mean, I have known this before. Her piercing gaze has always had me weak to the knees, but mostly in fear... not like this. Never like this.

This felt different. I wasn't sure if it was good, but I was certain it wasn't bad.

Mustering a small smile, I raised my hand in a small wave.

"Hi," I muttered awkwardly.

Adela didn't respond, pausing her lips together as she looked away from me so dismissively that my hand dropped and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. The smile on my face wiped off, replaced with a deeper frown than the last when I watched her flash the junior a big, contagious grin that made him smile right back at her.

She has never given me such a big smile before. I thought to myself, my lips forming in a pout.

Begrudgingly, I settled on one of the beds by the window that overlooked the garden, still watching both of them.

"Let me get a bandage to wrap this up," She told the boy. "Then you can go back to class, okay?"

"Okay, Senior Dela," He nodded his head vigorously in response.

Senior Dela? I grimaced, even more, the nickname causing me to cringe.

Of course, Adela didn't notice this... or she didn't want to notice it. She just beamed, getting up from her crouched position to go to the row of drawers where all the medical supplies and tools were kept. It was when she stood right that noticed what she was wearing.

Oh...

I bobbed my head to the side, unconsciously drawing my bottom lip in between my teeth as I took her in.

All the times I have seen Adela in mufti, the one thing I have noticed about all her outfits was that they were all short. And I'm not talking knee-length, or a little-above-the-knee short, I'm talking thigh-high short, exposing her long, dark legs all the way, unabashedly giving everyone a show of her flawless, melanin dripping skin.

Like she was doing right now with the white sports shorts under a matching grey and white crop sweats, her braids tied up in a messy bun, the look complemented with a white and grey Nike hi-tops.

(KING ADELA🥵🔥❤️)

And it seemed like I wasn't the only one feeding my eyes.

The junior boy just won't stop staring at her with an expression of complete awe and gauze, looking completely entranced by her picking things from the drawers and laying them out of the steel tray. His stupefied gaze on her made my frown deepen and I glared directly at him, hoping that somehow, lasers will shoot from my eyes and at him.

As if he felt my gaze burning into the side of his head, he turned his head in my direction and met my eyes. My frown deepened and my glare hardened, giving him the meanest stink eye I could muster. I was still his head boy so he knew better than to ignore the hidden message I conveyed in my eyes.

I saw his eyes widen in what seemed like horror, his body stiffening under my gaze as he gulped audibly. He looked away from me, smartly taking his gaze to the floor and not back to Adela. A smirk quirked at the corners of my lips.

Good.

The boy managed to stop staring at Adela even when she came back to bandage his ankle, his replies to her not as chirpy as they were before. If Adela noticed a change in his demeanor, she didn't say anything about it, finishing her work on his ankle. When she was done, he muttered thanks and scurried out of the ward, finally leaving Adela and me alone.

Finally...

But the melanin princess continued acting like I wasn't even in the room with her, taking her time to clean up the things she used on the boy that just left, not even as much as a glance in my direction.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

Is she seriously going to start this ignoring thing again?

"Are you ready to attend to me now?" I started, my eyes following her as she moved. "You are the one that asked me to come you know? You shouldn't be ignoring me," I pointed out.

That made her halt in her steps, but it didn't make her turn around to face me. And I wanted her to face me. I wanted her to look at me.

"Who says I'm ignoring you?" She asked, her back still turned to me as she took her time arranging every medical instrument back into the drawers. I almost groaned in frustration.

"Well, if you were not ignoring me, you'd be looking at me right now," I retorted, hoping that would get her to at least turn to look at me.

She did. Adela turned around. But when she did, her palm was thrown over her mouth like she was trying to stop herself from bursting into laughter. And when her eyes settled on me, it looked like she was about to double up and explode at any moment.

My brows furrowed. I was confused.

Is there something on my face?

"God, you look like crap," She choked out, pausing her lips together tightly. I couldn't fight the urge to roll my eyes this time.

Typical Adela. She just had to greet me with an insult.

"Right," I muttered with a shrug. "You never pass up an opportunity to insult me, Adela. Do you?" I queried, folding my hands across my chest in accusation. But even before I finished speaking, she already started shaking her head.

"No no," she quickly debunked what I was saying, walking up to me after she pulled out something from what I assumed to be her bag.

"I mean, you literally look like crap," She said, bringing what looked like a mirror compact up to my face and opened it for me to see my reflection. And my eyes went huge.

Jesus!

"Oh my God," I gaped, staring back at my reflection in complete horror and mortification. My reaction was priceless, I could even see for myself and that was all that was needed to send Adela over the edge, throwing her head back as she burst out with boisterous laughter.

I quickly threw my hand over my nose to cover up that disaster on my face.

My nose wasn't only broken, it was red, swollen, and twisted in a disturbing and distorted way that made my face look deformed beyond recognition. I looked like a low-budget clown with how red and big it was, courtesy of the obvious blood clot inside.

You mean to tell me, that I've been walking around school looking like... that?

I stared at my reflection, my mouth dropping open.

Now it made perfect sense why Adela paused her lips when I came in. She was trying her best not to laugh at me in front of that junior, all the while trying to stop herself from looking at me. Then the junior himself, looked horrified, to say the least when I glared at him. I must have looked like pennywise to him.

Taking the compact from a laughing Adela, I groaned again at my reflection, plopping back down on the bed.

It was embarrassing, knowing that I was around people before coming here. I can't believe I looked like this in front of the entire basketball team. I can't begin to imagine how stupid I looked trying to confront Sochima Johnson. I must have looked like a complete joke, making an absolute fool of myself.

Why didn't TK tell me?

"I can't believe you were comfortable walking around school with your nose looking like it was the target of a swarm of bees," Adela spoke, her voice still sipping with laughter.

"I didn't know it looked this bad!" I defended and she laughed again, finding my discomfort funny and entertaining to her as usual. "Would have covered my face with a scarf if I did," I went on either way. "Do you know how many people I spoke to before coming here? It's embarrassing that I looked like this!" I jabbed at my nose, being careful not to touch it.

Adela paused her lips again, fighting a smile.

"You don't look that bad," She shrugged, trying to stroke my ego just a little bit. But I wasn't buying it, of course, cocking my head to the side to give her a look.

"You're the one that just told me I look like crap, Adela," I reminded her and she chuckled. "You can't take it back," I added. She shrugged in response, her smile not faltering one bit. It made my lips twitch a bit, I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from widening.

At least you are making her smile. That's definitely a good sign. My subconscious commended me.

"What were you even thinking about that you didn't see the ball coming your way and got hit square in the face?" She asked me, stretching her hand out to me.

You...

But of course, I couldn't tell her that without telling her that it felt somehow watching her with Ola Davis. She'd ask why I felt somehow and honestly, I didn't have a good explanation for it either.

"I had a lot of things on my mind," I said instead with a shrug, closing the mirror compact and dropping it in her open palm.

"You seem to have a knack for attracting pain to yourself, Jidenna," She added, a teasing smile still playing on her lips.

I know she meant that statement as a joke, but she had absolutely no idea how accurate she was. Pain does follow me everywhere I go; physical, emotional, and mental. It was almost as if I was born with it.

Born with pain.

"You have no idea," I murmured, forcing a smile her way. Adela has always been able to read me no matter how hard I try to mask my emotions, and she won't hesitate for one moment to point it out. But now, if she noticed the faux smile, she didn't say anything about it. I didn't know if I should be grateful or not.

I mean it's not like I'd tell her anything, but her asking me made me feel... wanted.

Adela silently walked away from me to the refrigerator that stood on the right side of the room, and I watched her retrieve an icepack from it.

"We need to tame that swollen nose of yours," She said, closing the fridge, before walking back to me. As soon as she got in front of me, she shoved the icepack in my face... on my nose, with such brutal force.

I groaned out in pain.

"Adela!" I cried out, but the slim girl found my pain funny as she laughed again.

"God, you have such a low pain tolerance," She said, picking the icepack from where it had fallen.

"And you are so aggressive!" I retorted, and she laughed again "Do you enjoy seeing me at your mercy, hmmn? Because you handled the junior that was here minutes ago with so much care, he couldn't stop staring at you like you were a goddess,"

Now, you are just being petty Jidenna.

"Oh, but I am a goddess," Her tone held pride and sass, and I couldn't stop the small laughter that escaped my lips. Adela was the kind of girl you'll compliment with You are So Pretty and she'll reply you with I know.

It was amazing how low-key she was in the set. She didn't seem like someone that would have had much trouble rising up the social ladder, especially with that audacious attitude of her if she wanted to.

Maybe she didn't want to.

"Cocky much," I told her and she flashed me a grin, shrugging her shoulder.

"Stop talking," She whispered, and I shut my mouth automatically.

With her gaze trained on mine, Adela moved close to me till she was almost standing between my parted legs. With her right hand holding the icepack, she stretched her left out, circling it around till it was behind my head. I had to stop my eyes from fluttering close when I felt her fingers on the skin of my neck, curving around it to arch my head to a titling position before she gently press down the icepack on my nose.

I sighed in satisfaction at the cool, refreshing feeling, coupled with Adela's scent taking over my senses and the tip of her fingers trailing the skin of my neck daintily, her index finger twirling on a lock of curl. I wasn't sure she knew what she was doing because of how absentminded it felt,

How... delicate it felt.

Is this what all the guys on the team have been enjoying? Is this what Ola Davis got any time he hung out with her?

That simple thought was enough to douse the sweet feeling I was getting from her gentle care.

"I didn't know you and Ola were so close," The statement left my lips before I could stop myself. Adela removed the icepack from my nose, her brows furrowed slightly in confusion.

"Ola and me?" She repeated and I nodded. She shrugged, placing the icepack back on my nose. "It's nothing special. I'm just as close to Ola as I am with every other guy on the team," She stated, punctuating with another shrug.

I don't know if it was her nonchalance that pushed me over the edge of pettiness, or it was the fact that I was the only one on the team that Adela wasn't all that close to. But either way, her response aroused a feeling of extreme dejection.

"Every other guy except me, right?" I didn't even try to stop myself from talking this time, especially since it was enough to get a reaction from Adela.

She paused, taking the icepack off my nose again, her hand at the back of my neck slipping away when she leaned back to properly look at me. Because I was sitting and she standing, I was a little shorter than she was, so she stared down at me incredulously, confusion twinkling in her eyes.

"Where did that come from?" She breathed out between a short, amused laugh. I looked away from her, nervously cracking my fingers.

"You are close to all the guys on the team, except me," I repeated unashamedly, looking back up at her to find her watching me intently. I tried to hold her gaze. "Like today, you allowed Ola to carry you on his shoulder. They all like you in their space because you are very free with them."

"And that bothers you so much?" She asked, her voice surprisingly calm. I shook my head.

"I'm not bothered..."

"Well, you sound and look bothered," She quickly countered, her voice still calm, and unlike before when Adela will be smirking in amusement at my vulnerability before her, this time was totally different. She wasn't smirking, and her expression was gentle with a hint of confusion. Like she was trying to understand me.

I'm trying to understand me too, Adela.

"I'm not bothered," I repeated, and she didn't counter me this time, only folding her hand across her chest quietly as she peered at me.

"I'm just..." I trailed off, trying to gather my thoughts and form my words in a way that won't make me sound pettier than I already did. I exhaled. "You are not free like that with me," I said, meeting her gaze again. "And it makes me feel like I haven't done enough to gain your trust,"

"Jidenna," Adela sighed, rubbing her temple with her thumb and index finger as if she was feeling a wave of headache wash over her. She finally removed her hand from her face and looked at me.

I sat up, my eyes trained on hers as well.

"I've been friends with those guys way before I became friends with you," She stated matter-of-factly. "If at all I am the way you say I am with them, of course, I'd be freer with them than I am with you. But that's not even the case at all," She disagreed with me.

"Then what is?" I asked, my voice sounding whiny like a kid that had his cookie taken from him. I sounded so desperate but at this point, I didn't give two fucks.

"It will interest you to know that I spend more time with you than I spend with any of those guys," She deadpan, knocking the breath right out of me. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I just stared at her, dumbfounded.

What...

"The dynamics of my friendship with those guys end as soon as we walk out of the school gates every day," She continued, keeping her eyes steadily on me. "We sometimes chat, but unlike with you, I and those guys barely have a relationship outside school," She revealed and I blinked, my mouth slightly gaped.

I was dumbstruck.

"And no, it has little to do with our similar interests in photography, it's a lot more than that," She continued, her voice lowering into a whisper when she said that last phrase, her gaze averting from mine just a bit. "We are friends, Jidenna. Believe it or not, you are the closest one to me." She shrugged, a lone smile playing on her lips.

My eyes widened slightly at the revelation, and I continued staring at Adela. I wasn't sure how to feel about the dime she just dropped on me, telling things I hadn't expected to hear from her in like, a million years. For the first time, Adela called me her friend. And out of her other friends, I was the closest one to her.

It made my heart swell in my chest, made me feel like I had gotten an achievement, and won some sort of heavily coveted price from myself. Being called Adela's friend felt like that.

Her taking me as her friend made me feel like that.

"Wow..." I muttered dumbly, and Adela chuckled lightly.

"E shock you, bah?" She joked and I found myself doubling up with laughter, a laughter she joined me in. It rang through the empty ward, the mixture of my deep ones and her thin, harmonious ones sounding beautiful to my ears.

Everything suddenly felt so good. Even my swollen nose.

"I'm sorry," I muttered when our laughter subsided, meeting her eyes. "I thought there was something I was doing wrong again or something I wasn't doing enough and it made me feel like..."

"You are such an overthinker," Adela cut me off, rolling her eyes dramatically with laughter in her voice, and I smiled, averting my gaze from hers. "Besides you are doing enough," She added, and I looked back up at her. "Don't think otherwise," She said and I nodded, my smile stretching further.

I don't know about you, but my day has just been made.

"Thank you," I said, and I meant it. God knows I meant it with everything in me.

Adela had no idea how what she said made me feel, didn't know how much it affected and made me want to do more for her, more to prove to her that I was worthy of her friendship, of her attention. She didn't know what calling me her friend meant for me. I didn't even have the right emotions to qualify what it meant for me but I knew exactly what I wanted to do for her, and how much I wanted to prove to her.

She only smiled back in response picking up the icepack from where she had dropped it.

Her scent was everywhere again when she moved closer to me, taking back her position between my legs, her left hand slipping to the back and around my neck. My eyes fluttered close when she brought the ice pack to my nose again, gently pressing down on it. Slight pain shot through me and I groaned softly, muttering for her to take it easy and she muttered back an apology.

Thankfully, it was feeling a whole lot better and I could feel the swelling coming down a little just as the pain was subsiding.

"By the way," Adela began in a whisper and I hummed. The way she had bent her head to inspect what she was doing made her face close to mine, her breath fanning the skin of my face as she spoke in a hushed tone.

An involuntarily sigh escaped my lips.

"Jealousy is not a good look on you, Jidenna," She stated pointedly, her statement bringing me out of whatever haze I was in. Immediately, my head shot back up in the right position and my face contorted in a grimace.

Did she just insinuate that all my act earlier was out of jealousy?

Me? Jealous? Impossible.

"I wasn't being jealous," I countered immediately, trying to defend myself. But of course, Adela brushed off my self-defense with a dismissive wave of her hand, not believing me one bit.

"Yeah right, and I have two heads," She rolled her eyes at me and a chuckle left my lips. She's always so quick to have a comeback for me, a smartass one at that.

It was kinda... attractive?

Am I even making sense?

"Put your head very well jhoor,"

She fisted the curly locks of my hair and jerked my head back to the position it was. It was so sudden, quite aggressive that a little grunt escaped my lips. I had to bite down on my bottom lip to stifle it as much as I could, causing Adela to smirk.

"You are so aggressive," I whispered. She just kept smirking knowingly, pushing the ice to my face and I let her.

When she was sure the swelling had gone down a bit and my nose looked better than it did with blood now flowing freely through it, she removed the pack, gently touching her hand to my nose, and asked if I was still feeling pain. I shook my head wordlessly, staring right at her. She nodded, telling me to keep the place the pack back on it, which I did.

I silently watched as she walked away from me to the drawer of medical supplies, and watched her bring her the things she'd need starting with the wad of cotton wool. At that moment, my mind was on nothing but the dark-skinned girl carrying out her health prefect duties so religiously, caring about me even if it was just professionally.

And for a moment, I basked in the feeling of having someone treat me like I was delicate. It felt like pampering and I liked it so much.

It's been a while since I've had someone actually take care of me this way.

But the feeling was cut off when I heard a laugh. A very... very familiar laugh. It was loud and clear so I knew I wasn't hallucinating from all the blood loss of today. That single sound made all the airs on my body stand at attention, goosebumps sprouting on my skin as I felt a chill run down my spine.

And no, it wasn't the good kind. It wasn't the bad kind either.

It was guilt. Hardcore Guilt.

The window by my bedside was the one that overlooked the garden so I knew the laugh came from there. I didn't have to look before I knew who it was, who the laugh had come from. But like someone under hypnosis, I found myself standing up and automatically walking to the window.

My eyes immediately fell on her as soon as I stared out.

Hilary.

I felt my heart tugging heavily against my chest, my palms becoming sweaty, and my forehead emitting beads of perspiration. My hands began to tremble, I had to shove them into the pockets of my joggers. A shaky breath escaped my lips. No matter how I tried, I couldn't, for the life of me, peel my eyes away from her.

Away from how happy she looked right now

She didn't know she was being stared at, laughing out without any care in the world at whatever the person beside her was saying. When I looked to see who the person was, I wasn't the least bit surprised.

Simisola Jordan.

It was no longer news to almost everyone in the set at how close they have gotten so suddenly. Nobody saw it coming, especially me. But they have gotten so close over the term, hanging out a lot. It was all up in my face, and since we were all in the same class, I couldn't avoid it even if I wanted to.

As much as I had no right to feel it, I felt a pang in my chest. From more guilt, sprinkled with a spice of jealousy. I was her best friend for four years, and her boyfriend for one year, but I never made her laugh the way Simi was making her laugh right now.

All I did was make her sad. I made her cry. I caused the death of her brother and still made her life unbearable afterward.

And still, I haven't even had the decency to give her a proper apology for causing her so much pain. Nothing was stopping me, not even her statement that I was dead to her. But still...

I'm a terrible person.

"She looks happy," Adela's voice jerked me out of my thoughts. I nearly jumped, startled, and turned to find her standing just beside me, staring out of the window like I was. I had not even noticed when she came up beside me.

I exhaled shakily, looking back at the duo in the garden, talking with such carefree nonchalance, oblivious to the fact that Adela and I were staring at them.

"Yeah, she does," My voice came out more hushed than I intended it to be, my shoulders slumping in dejection.

I finally turned away from Simi and Hilary, looking down to the floor with my shoulders slumped. It didn't take up to a moment after that before I felt Adela's scrutinizing gaze on me, boring inquisitive holes into my body.

"You don't seem too happy about that," Came a whisper from Adela, the tone behind her voice telling me that she was being careful with her words. I looked up with a start, triggered.

"What?"

"You don't seem too happy that she's happy," She repeated in another whisper.

"Of course, I'm happy!" I quickly debunked, shaking my head vigorously. "I'm elated that she's smiling again, laughing again. I'm over the moon excited for her, Adela. Trust me, I am." I stated matter-of-factly.

I AM happy for Hilary. I'm happy she's smiling again. God, why won't I be? What kind of wicked person would I be if I wasn't happy for her?

"But you are not happy it's not coming from you," She said. A humorless chuckle escaped my lips as I shook my head again. Adela doesn't understand.

"What I'm sad about, is the fact that I was the one who made her cry in the first place," I answered her. Her eyes widened a bit when the realization dawned on her, understanding slowly making its way into her expression.

But that's the thing. She'll never understand how deep it was.

"Adela, I don't care if I'm not the one making her smile," I went on nonetheless, and the dark-skinned girl folded her hands across her chest, listening to me. "I don't have to be the reason behind her smile. But I shouldn't have been the reason behind her tears and her sadness, either," I let out, watching Adela's shoulders slump as the implication of my words dawned on her, more understanding marred across her face.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, wiping a hand across my face as my shoulders dropped too, frustration and dejection washing through me.

"I caused her so much pain in such a short period, Adela," I whispered. "You have no idea,"

"Then tell me," She spoke up, causing me to look at her. "Make me have an idea, make me understand," She added, pleading with me.

Her tone was so soothing, very persuasive, I almost started letting everything out at that point. But it wasn't just about how soft or cajoling her tone was. I was feeling a push deep in my guts to let it all out, to offload a part of the burden I've been carrying for months to Adela. I wanted to tell her everything, unreserved.

But I had reservations. A lot, actually.

I was very skeptical, especially since this girl finally called me her friend for the first time. What if I ruin something good that has barely started by telling her things that might make her hate me just like Hilary hates me? Just like they all hate me?

Call me selfish, but I just don't want to ruin the good thing I have going on with Adela right now.

So you prefer wallowing in guilt and self-condemnation for the rest of your life?

"I haven't forgotten, you know?" Adela spoke after what felt like hours of silence. I looked at her, brows furrowing in confusion because I didn't understand what she was saying. At this point, her eyes had softened, a ghost of a smile playing on her lips.

"Forgotten what?" I asked. She shrugged, moving away from the window to sit down on the bed beside mine. I stood still, watching her.

"The first and only time you said it, you obviously blurted it out by mistake because you were in your feelings," She started. I continued staring at her, still not getting it because of how cryptic she was. She knew this, so she went on. "I asked you about it then but you didn't tell me, which I really understand.-

But it didn't stop me from thinking about it since that day. I didn't want to pressure you into telling me because it seemed like something so sensitive. But now..." She trailed off, taking in a deep breath as if to give herself more courage to say what she wanted to say.

And that alone made me more skeptical than I already was.

"Adela..." I whispered, trailing off too because I didn't know what to say. She didn't as much as flinch in response, just staring at me with piercing eyes that have always seen deep into my soul.

"I can't help but wonder what you meant when you said you were the reason Hilary's brother died," She said in one breath, holding my gaze as she enunciated every word, causing them to hit me like several stabs in the back.

My eyes were bulging out of their sockets before I could comport myself, confirming to her what she just said without even meaning to.

I told her that?! And she's still talking to me?

"Yeah, you told me," She answered like she had heard my unasked question. "It was in the heat of the moment, so I understand if you don't remember," She said.

"And you are still talking to me," I voiced out my previous thought, the mortification in my voice loud and clear. She peered right back at me, now confused.

"It's not reason enough to stop talking to you, Jidenna. Not when I don't know the full story. Not when I don't understand what you meant,"

"There is nothing to understand in that statement! It's as straightforward as possible!" I retorted, my voice coming out louder than I intended, suddenly feeling on edge by the subtle reminder of the part I played that night.

The biggest part of all.

Of course, Adela didn't flinch at my outburst, staring back at me as if she was waiting for me to lay it all on her lap. The way she was watching me... coupled with how suddenly soft-spoken she was, was so hypnotic, I almost did. But I had to hold myself because I was already tipping over the edge. Adela knew exactly what she was doing, I could tell.

At this point, I was so glad we were the only ones in the ward, probably in the entire health center even. No possible interruption, no eavesdropping.

I took in a deep, calming breath that did nothing to calm me down.

"There is nothing more to understand," I repeated in a calmer tone. "I'm the reason Hilary's brother is dead," I added, hoping to God that she'd just drop that it. I don't even understand how I ever mentioned that sensitive information to her in the first place.

But of course, I should have known by now that Adela isn't one to back off without answers.

"How?" She pushed further, the question so simple and concise with her voice so calm... it drove me over the edge for reasons I couldn't pinpoint.

"BECAUSE I'M THE REASON THEY WERE BOTH OUT THAT NIGHT!"

I blurted out before I could pull myself and my emotions together, my voice resonating through the room, bouncing off the light blue walls and resounding back to me in echoes.

My outburst was followed by complete and total silence, safe for my heavy breathing that sounded quite audible because of the quietness of the room. Adela was still seated on the bed, wordlessly staring back at me. If she was shocked by that revelation, she sure didn't show it. All she did was look back at me with eyes that compelled me to talk more.

And this time I didn't stop myself.

Besides, what's the use trying to hold back on it when I have already spilled halfway?

"I was selfish," I began, my voice coming out shaky and raw now, causing Adela to sit up. "God knows, I've always been a selfish asshole even before Hilary and I became official. But my selfishness has never cost the life of anyone, especially someone I know." I shook my head

Adela didn't interrupt me. She sat still, but her eyes silently urged me to go on.

"I wanted to see her that night," I went on, averting my gaze from Adela to stare at the floor, not sure if I wanted to see her reaction to what I was about to reveal. "Heaven knows, I can't even remember why I wanted to see her so bad, but I insisted that she should come to my house, even though it was late, my house was quite a distance from hers, and I knew her parents will disapprove.-

I took advantage of the fact that Hilary cared so much about me that the discomfort in my tone that night would be enough to make her come to me just like she has always done. I didn't want to know how she was going to do it, how she was going to convince her parents that I needed her. I just wanted her to come and I made sure she found a way to," I paused, letting out a humorless chuckle at how self-centered I truly was.

I didn't care about anyone but myself.

Exhaling for the nth time, I glanced at Adela to see her reaction to this bit of my revelation. She was taking it all in... digesting it, I could see it in her eyes. But her stance didn't falter,

And neither did her gaze on me.

"Henry realized Hilary had snuck out of the house," I continued, my breath getting a little shaky because I was already getting close to the hard part. "He immediately knew she was with me because it wouldn't be the first time she'd be sneaking out because of me. So, he came by to pick her up so that she won't get in trouble with their parents. But..." I trailed off, shaking my head again as tears brimmed in my eyes

"The accident happened when they were on their way back home," Adela decoded in a matter of seconds, saving me the mental stress of saying it myself. I nodded slowly, pressing my eyes down to stop the tears from making their way out.

I had been expecting Hilary's call or chat that night, at least to tell me she had gotten home. But I went to bed with nothing, so I resolved she was just mad at me for getting her into trouble. Only for me to wake up the next morning with the news of the bridge accident taking over every channel and every social media page.

My heart broke into a million pieces and my life took a drastic turn for the very worse, but still, nothing compared to how I ruined Hilary's life.

It was all me. No one else.

"I ruined everything,"

I whispered, unable to stop the stubborn tear that made its way out of my eyes in one single drop. At this point, I couldn't even face Adela, couldn't look at her. I don't think I'd be able to take the judgment from her. For some reason, I can handle it coming from anyone, but not from her.

"Everything that happened was on me, is still on me!" I went on nonetheless, still keeping my eyes down. "Not on Hilary for being such a caring person that only wanted to help me, and definitely not on Henry for having the back of his sister. It's not on them, it's on me.-

And as if that wasn't enough, I went ahead to cheat on her when she needed me the most, when she needed her best friend... her boyfriend by her side. It wasn't intentional because I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing, but there is no excuse for what I did! There is absolutely nothing that can justify it!" My voice rose an octave higher as I stabbed my chest with my index, and that elicited a bit of reaction from Adela.

Her face fell a bit, her hard expression faltering. She flinched slightly at the intensity of my voice, waves of regret and guilt spilling forth in waves because that was all I could feel. Guilt and Regret, and more Guilt and Regret. From my voice and her reaction, I could tell she felt it too, even if it was in small waves.

Sighing in frustration and dejection, I plopped down on the bed in exhaustion, now sitting opposite Adela since she was facing me. Another like tear escaped my eyes and I used the back of my palm to clean it.

"I made life unbearable for her, made school a living hell for her with all the rumors," My voice was now toned down to a whisper, I was exhausted.

"I just want to take it back," I whispered, looking at Adela so that she'd see how much I meant it. And I did, with all my heart. "I want to hit a fücking rewind button on all this. I just want to go back to the past and fix all this, but I can't. And even if there is something else I can do to fix it all, I don't know what. I don't."

I looked at Adela, watching the flashes of emotions cross her face, some I could name and some I couldn't. But I didn't see judgment of persecution, not even in the tiniest bit It was impossible, but it felt like she could feel my pain, my desperation to fix things even though I didn't know how to. It felt like her heart came out to me and she shared in everything I was feeling.

It felt like she Understood. She looked like she Understood. Not because she has been in my position before or she could relate, but because she Gets me.

But for the longest time, she didn't say a word in response to me pouring everything out to her, the ward plunged into silence with her just staring right at me like she was trying to read deeper into me.

I'm open to you, Adela. I let you in a long time ago.

"Closure,"

When she finally spoke, that was all she said. And coincidentally, it just had to be the same thing Kizito said to me on the field earlier. But I needed more enlightenment

"What?" I was confused.

"Have you tried talking to her?" She asked. I exhaled in response, remembering the first and last time I tried to talk to Hilary, remembering the five words she said that completely shut me down before she slammed the door in my face.

"She told me I was dead to her, and then slammed the door in my face," I recounted what happened to Adela as briefly as I could.

"And have you tried after that?" She asked again, peering at me through that piercing gaze of hers

"She wouldn't even look at me, Adela," I replied. "We are in the same class but as it is right now, she doesn't know who Jidenna Okojie is. I don't exist to her, and honestly, she's one hundred percent right to treat me that way. I treated her worse,"

"So, you haven't tried talking to her again," Adela repeated the question. I exhaled, shaking my head.

"No, I haven't," I answered.

"Then you are not making an effort, Jidenna," Adela told me, and though her voice was still soft, her tone was rather point-blank and firm to show me how serious she was.

But she was wrong still.

"I'm making an effort, Adela," I defended myself. "I want to fix things, I really want to, but how do I fix things with someone that won't even look at me?" I asked her. "I don't exist to Hilary and because of this, Kizito sees me as nothing more than a classmate and teammate. Semeeha has probably forgotten I ever existed. It's only Dawn that say hi once in a while, and it's even awkward. I didn't just betray Hilary, I betrayed all of them too,"

"But then, you want to fix things with them, yet you are not ready to do the work that comes with it," Adela deadpan, not bluntly, but firm enough to shut me up.

"You give up way too easily, Jidenna," She went on, shrugging her shoulders. "If you keep doing that, you might never get your friends back, and you'll never get rid of the regret and guilt that is eating you alive. You can't find peace that way," She said.

"They might not even want to be friends with me anymore," I stated matter-of-factly. After everything I did, it's not a surprise that they don't want to have anything to do with someone like me. "And I get that because I don't deserve their friendship. But I need their forgiveness. With everything in me, I do,"

"No, you have to earn their forgiveness," She corrected me. "And you can't earn their forgiveness with just one trial, trying to make peace. It doesn't work that way. Closure is a lot deeper than that, Jidenna," She stated, the reconstruction of that statement and her use of words plunging me into deep thoughts, making me think things I have never thought of before.

I said earlier that Adela wouldn't understand because it was a lot deeper than she thought. But here she was, making me think about the situation a lot deeper... and broader than I have ever thought about it.

"Listen to me," She breathed out in a whisper, leaning towards me with her eyes holding mine intently. I automatically leaned forward too, wanting to listen to her. "You are not a terrible person, Jidenna. Far from it, actually," She said it like she meant it, and her eyes told me that she meant it.

"If there is anything I have noticed about you, it's the fact that you tend to make a lot of very terrible mistakes," She continued, still holding my gaze even though mine kept averting from her. "But it only means you are human. It's your ability to learn from those mistakes and grow that makes you a better person, and trust me you are learning, Jidenna, even heaven can bear witness to that."

The way she said it, the tone she used, she sounded proud of me. I had to look up, wanted to see it in her eyes to be sure I wasn't just reading into her tone.

And when I looked at her, I saw it. The pride. It was little, but it was there and I saw it.

It made my heart swell in my chest. Made me feel like I was one step toward doing something right for once.

"A lot of people would have held back their guilt and regret," She continued. "They would never have admitted their wrongs as you did. You didn't hold back on admitting your guilt to me, no matter how much you tried not to. That's a big step to getting closure, a big step to finally letting go of that guilt that wants to swallow you whole,"

"Why do I feel like there is a but coming?"

She laughed for the first time since we started talking about this. the soft, beautiful sound resonating around us, tugging on my heartstrings. I couldn't stop the small smile that tugged my lips upward in return.

"You have to realize that admitting and regretting your wrongs to yourself is just the first step. It is an important step but it's not the most important step," She said after her laughter had subsided.

"What is the most important step?" I asked her.

"Admitting it to Hilary," She answered. I gulped, not knowing what to say to that.

I knew exactly what this meant, I wasn't that dumb. I knew what I had to do. This wasn't just about begging for Hilary's forgiveness, this was about admitting every single wrong I did and owning up to it with my full chest. As Kizito said, this was more about her than it was about me.

This was about giving her the closure she so deserves.

But it wasn't going to be easy. Not even in the tiniest bit.

"No one said it's going to be easy," Adela said like she read my thoughts. "Closure itself isn't easy, but it's all going to be worth it in the end because you'll finally have peace of mind. Not only that, you also owe it to Hilary," She added and I nodded slowly, agreeing one hundred percent.

I do. I really do owe it to her.

"She deserves the closure, Jidenna. A lot more than you need your clarity. But who says you can't both can't have it at the same time?"

It was a rhetorical question I had no answer to.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Adela finished with my nose, taping two thin plasters on its bridge and we both laughed at how funny it made me look. By the time school officially ended, all of our classmates had already gone. At first, I thought a few would still lurk around, but now I don't see any, meaning it was probably only Adela and me in the whole SS3 set that was still in school.

Somehow it was a blessing in disguise. Adela and I walking together without being bothered about what our classmates would think. I mean, when she told me she wanted to get her things from class so she'd get going, I offered to follow her and she didn't even object.

Which was why we were both walking side by side in the hallway of our classes, making our way to her class to get her things.

"I noticed you stopped wearing your contacts," Adela pointed out as we walked into her empty class, her leading the way to her seat. I stopped walking, shoving my hands into the pocket of my joggers.

"But you said you preferred me on glasses," I stated. That was what she said, right? The dark-skinned girl looked at me quizzically before plopping down on her seat and opening her locker.

"That was my own personal preference," She stated, taking out books from her locker and putting them inside her bag. Then suddenly, she paused her action, looking up to meet my eyes with a shocked expression on her face.

"Wait, did you stop wearing your contacts because I said I preferred the glasses?" She asked me, awe in her voice.

Yes.

"No," I voiced out instead, shaking my head as I tried to put on a nonchalant front. Adela, like always, saw right through my act because she just rolled her eyes and shook her head, but the smile remained on her lips.

"Right," She muttered, her tone mocking as she went back to what she was doing. "Don't discard your contacts, Jidenna. You'll need them, especially for sports. Now it makes sense why you didn't see that ball coming," She teased, chuckling. It was my turn to roll my eyes, but I couldn't stop the smile too.

"Ha Ha, very funny,"

"I know right! I'm hilarious," She answered. Now, that made me throw my head back as laughter exploded from my lips.

This girl is so effortlessly funny, she doesn't even know.

Thinking about that. I realized that I've been smiling and laughing a lot more lately. And it was always when I was around Adela.

I don't know what this girl was doing to me, but whatever it was, I welcomed how really good it felt.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Adela called her, her voice bringing me out of my thoughts. I looked in time to see her bringing out a black back from the locker beside her. A black bag I recognized to be a camera bag.

Adela stood up and came to me with it, stretching it out for me to take.

"Do we have a shoot?" I asked, holding the strap of the bag. Adela shook her head in response, confusing me. And then, I saw a radiant smile make its way to her lips. It piqued my curiosity even more.

"I want you to have it," She said.

I choked on air.

"What!"

I blurted out, my eyes bulging out of my socket, my mouth dropping open like someone about to catch a fly. Adela exploded at my reaction, her shoulders quaking so vigorously as she laughed. On the other hand, I couldn't bring myself out of my shock.

Is this really happening?

"Stop being so melodramatic and take it," She pushed it into my hand, letting it go. I quickly caught it before it would fall, unzipping the bag to check if there was really a camera there, or if Adela was just playing around with me.

There was a camera alright, but not just any camera. A Canon EOS R6. One of the best cameras a photographer could use. And very expensive at that. And here Adela was, handing it to me on a silver platter.

Wait. Is this a prank? Is she for real?

"Are you for real right now?" I looked away from the camera to her, mortified. I found her watching me with genuine smiles tugged at the corners of her lips. She liked the reaction she was getting from me.

I was still trying to wrap my head around what was happening right now.

"I know you said you were saving up to buy yours," She started. "But I also understand how expensive cameras are," She added with a shrug. "Dad has a bunch of this lying around the house with no one using them, so I talked him into giving me. And now, I'm giving it to you," She stated, nodding at me. There was no teasing in her tone, so I knew just then that she wasn't kidding.

She really isn't fucking with me.

Adela is not fucking with me.

She's really giving me...

"Adela..." I was flabbergasted, to say the least, unable to form a coherent sentence with how over the moon awestruck I felt.

"It's yours now," She emphasized, pushing it even more into my hands. I took it wordlessly, staring at the bag in my hand with my heart thumping rapidly in my chest.

I couldn't find the right words to comprehend how I felt but I know I was feeling it in overwhelming ripples and waves. First, she didn't judge me after I told her everything that happened with Hilary and her brother. She advised me, with care, wanting me to let go of the guilt that has almost swallowed me whole. Now, she was gifting me with a very expensive camera, telling me it was mine.

This gesture shook me to my deepest core.

"I have to get going now," Her voice jerked me out of my reverie, making me look up to see her ready to leave, her bag hung over her shoulder. I didn't even notice she was done packing her things.

I still couldn't bring myself to say anything, couldn't form the words.

"I'll see you on Monday," she flashed me a smile and made to bypass me. But No. No way in hell I'll let her just go like that, even if I wasn't sure what to say to her at this moment.

Before she could completely move past me, I grabbed her arm, automatically stopping her from moving. Then I swerved her around till she was facing me, looking right at me. I still didn't know what to say, couldn't gather my thoughts together no matter how much I tried. I just stood there and stared at her... and she stared back at me, patiently might I add.

I moistened my suddenly dry lips, finally finding the best words to say to her right now. Slowly, I dragged my hand down the length on her arm till I got to her palm. Then, I clasped my hand around it, my thumb drawing cautious circles to the back of her palm, hoping she won't pull away.

She didn't.

"Thank you, Adela,"

My voice came off hoarse, thick with emotions I couldn't place for the life of me. Adela's mouth gaped slightly, unable to utter anything. For the first time, Adela was speechless... and I had been the one to render her speechless. She stared at me, her eyes twinkling with emotions I have never seen her exhibit before.

All this while, her hand was still in mine.

Adela blinked, as if to bring herself from whatever daze she was. She mustered a smile, nodding slowly.

"You're Welcome, Jidenna,"

𝐀/𝐍

Gosh, these two 🥺😭✨❤️! And they haven't even started yet o. When they start, y'all won't be able to take it at all because they'll just scatter your head with love.

Jidenna finally wants to give Hilary closure. How do you think it will go?

It's late and I finished the chapter under a little pressure so I apologize for any form of tackiness. See how the author's note sef is shabby.

I don't know when next I'll update, but till then... kisses 😘😚.