Hadley's POV:
I don't know how long I had been sitting here crying silently on the cold tile of my bathroom floor but it had been long enough for my ass to become numb and for my eyes to feel puffy as hell from the tears I had shed. Seriously, it Could have been minutes or it could have been hours. At this point, I really didn't know. Didn't care to know either. All I knew is that the longer I sat here, the more I thought about how I was losing the one man who had been by my side all of my life. And then I heard his voice and my heart broke into even more pieces.

"I'm going to go." Chase said from the other side of the door. From his tone, I could tell that he was hoping that I would beg him to stay. My heart immediately began screaming at me to make him stay but my brian was telling me to let him go. Why could these two never get on the same fucking page when it came to Chase? Needing some time to think about all of this, I heard myself telling him that I'd see him later, knowing good and damn well that I had zero intentions of calling him later. He and I had crossed a line tonight. A line that I had been wanting to cross for as long as I could remember but now that I had, I knew just how much I was about to lose. There was no way that Chase and I would be able to still be friends after what we had just done.

The roar of his truck coming to life only had the tears that had been streaming down my face non stop flowing harder and the wail that I had been holding in escaping my lips, making me sound like a wounded animal. All the hurt I felt over all the years of wanting one night with Chase -one night to show him that I was what he was missing in his life- came to the surface, wrecking my body with the force of my pain. I'd had my one night. And while it hadn't been Chase to freak out, it had been me.

When Chase had looked at me so lovingly in our post orgasmic state, asking if I meant what I said about being his, I saw everything I had ever wanted. But ruining our friendship was the last thing that I wanted. And make no mistake. After what he and I had shared in my bed, there was no coming back from. If it had just been sex, then maybe. But even I knew that what we had just shared was so much more that phenomal sex. There was no way that I was going to be able to act like his best friend when all I would be able to think about was his big hands or his mouth on my body.
Let the grieving process begin...

***

It's been nearly a week since Chase and I's hookup. A long, painful week of dealing with so many emotions that I was beginning to think I was bipolar. It was nothing for me to go from tears of sorrow to laughing at how ridiculous I was being. I'd broken framed pictures of Chase and I in anger, tossing them into the fireplace only to drag them back out crying like a baby because I was losing the memory that was us. I'd eat my feelings and then make myself sick from crying about the fact I was going to get fat. So yeah, if there was an emotion to have been felt in that past week, you can best believe I've felt it and earned the damn badge to prove it.

Which leads me today. In a moment of rage, I tossed on real clothes for the first time in a week and stormed out of the house, climbing into my jeep with the intent of heading over to Chase's mama to demand that we sort this shit out right now. I'd made it to the foot of Connie's long gravel driveway when I chickened out. So now, here I was sitting in my jeep with the engine running, staring down her driveway wondering if I would be welcomed if I decided to turn in.

"Fuck it." I muttered as I put my jeep in drive and eased into the drive. With each inch that my jeep covered, my heart beat faster and faster, threatening to beat right out of my chest. There was only one thing to do to hopefully stop these wide range of emotions I'd been feeling and that was to face the music.

As I neared the house, my heart turned a flip when I saw his black 80's model square body sitting in its usual spot. Part of me had been holding out hope that he wouldn't be here. Not that dealing with Connie would be any easier, especially after my Houdini act the morning she had caught us naked in bed. I'm honestly surprised that she hasn't threatened to tan my hide yet.

Shifting my jeep into park after pulling in beside his truck, I turned the engine off and stared in the direction of the house. As I didm the sight I saw standing on the porch took my breath away. Leaning against the porch rail with his big strong arms crossed over his chest in worn jeans, the navy blue and gold flannel I'd brought him last year for christmas, and his trademark HDEU hat, the man looked completely at ease. Which isn't fair by any means because I was feeling anything but at ease at the moment.

Telling myself that it was now or never, I opened the door and hopped out of the jeep. Nervously, I walked towards the porch, never making eye contact with Chase. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I slowly lifted my head. My blue eyes locked with his and for a bief moment, I saw what looked like hurt in his gray eyes. From a distance, Chase had looked at ease. But seeing him up close, he looked like he had gotten about as much sleep as I had over the past week -little to none.

"Can we talk?" I asked shyly. I hated that I felt like this around him. He and I have been through so much over the years that there was no reason for me to feel shy around him but yet, here I was, nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

"About what?" said Chase. There was no missing the tone of his voice. He didn't want to talk about what had happened anymore than I did.

"You know what." I said, feeling myself getting angry.

"It was just sex Hads. We both had an itch that needed to be scratched and we did just that. Now, can we move on from this? Stop all this awkwardness between us please" said Chase. At his words, I felt my temper spill over. But instead of cursing him out like I wanted to, I heard myself agreeing with him. If he wanted to play it that way, well that's just what the hell I was going to do. If he wanted to act like what had happened was nothing, then so could I.

"You're so right. It was just sex. So glad that we cleared that up." I said, hating myself for lying and once again denying my feelings for the sake of my friendship.

"Me too," said Chase.

"Well, now that we got that sorted out, I guess I better get going. Got some last minute shopping to do." I said, turning and walking towards my jeep.

"Call you later." yelled Chase as I reached my Jeep. Tossing my hand over my shoulder in a slight wave, I climbed inside and started the engine. With one last glance at the figure standing on the porch, I put my jeep in reverse and turned around. Pointing my jeep for the road, I let one tear slip down my cheek at the way he had acted. Then again, he had acted just as I knew he would. I knew he was the love em and leave type. And that night that we'd hooked up, he had damn sure loved me and left me.