14

For the nth time, I'm late.

It's Sunday and I'm late for work. Yes, I'm working on a Sunday! Annalise was supposed to cover the kitchen's work because today's my day off but she texted she couldn't come to work because of an emergency.

"No third party --- " He started the car, finally but with it comes his stupid preposition of the do's and don'ts of this affair.

This is not an affair but a curse.

"Are you dumb? I need to flirt too! Dumb bitch. " The audacity of this ninny? What does he want? Exclusive? Hell nah.

"Salary raise. "

Money can't buy happiness in one night, can it? Depends who's the one behind.

"I want to go clubbing, twerk and flirt. That's the core of my existence. You can't take that away from me. No amount of money can---"

"Pre-med and Med school on me. " He's oozing with confidence and here's me, the charity case. His, charity case. Ain't that lovely?

"No shit? " I'm broke. Like, everything about me is neck high broke.

"Unit." The way his lips twitched and his eyes lit in an ethereal glow makes me want to fuck my life's choices and just say yes.

"No car? " I deviated my eyes away from his manly grip on the steering wheel. Those hands, the ones who held me seconds ago, and maybe tomorrow, or to a thousand possible futures.

" No. I'll be your chauffeur. " He gave a smug smile.

"Does that mean you'll drive me? Insane? " I adjusted my seating position so I am now facing him sideways. Fake excitement etched on my face.

"From traffic sure. " He's cool, calm, and collected sure but the way his Adam's apple bobbed high and low in an uncontrolled manner I knew my answer.

"In the middle of traffic? Kinky. " I decided to drop the flirtatious jaunt and looked outside the window. Rain pelted down, the window became foggy from my breath, and I drew a circle and two dots resembling the eyes.

It showed no emotion at all.

My life's like that, unsure of everything. Whether I'm happy or not, there's no telling. One could picture me as the spasm of sadness. That's just all, nobody dared to cross the boundaries I set, no one stepped over the yellow caution lines I caged myself all these years, no one came to pull me out of this nothingness.

No one but him.

"I pray you'll soul still enters heaven. Even purgatory closes in the first signs of you. Skies tremble and lightning strikes. " He voice broke all the tremors of the past.

Everytime.

But at what cost? What does that make of me if he'd lose himself in finding me?

"Aren't you poetic love. I want to hear that during vows okay? " I cupped his face with my hands, scrunched my nose and bopped my nose against his. We stayed like that for seconds on end. I closed my eyes in tranquil trance. I breathed in his scent. I played with his hair with one hand and traced his day old stuble with the other. When I opened my eyes I noted how his lips were parted. Invitation to sin. Temptation in the form of him. Suddenly I couldn't decipher what time was it, what day, what place. Nothing mattered but this pristine moment.

"With alcohol I can do." His hands held my nape and planted platonic speck of featherlight kisses on my cheeks.

With one swift move he pulled me closer. His hand rested at the small of my back, while his hand at my nape drifted off towards my hips. I shivered from the cold contact of his wandering hands. He wasn't doing anything but staring at me while his hands snaked around my now bare back, tracing lazy circles that left goosebumps on its trail.

"Aren't you enjoying this love? "

His voice lulled my lashes close as I sunk in the depths of this daydream's deceptions.

He slipped his fingers under my bra, testing with tamed torture. He adeptly unclasped my innocent bra with one flick of mastered movement.

I bit my lip to stifle an unwanted moan. I don't want to please him or sound pleased at all.

I snapped back to reality, the dreamy-eyed idealist version of me gone in seconds faster than lightning.

"Whatever. Drop me at Kristen's. And stop pretending to buy everyday. " I rolled my eyes while I fixed my bra. He offered me to help clasping it back but I declined. At the end of that petty argument, he won.

"Are you jealous if Lise? " His voice was soothing yet teasing. That thing he does when he's playing with my insanity. I don't even know him to be a regular at Kristen's because I was always busy manning the kitchen. Lise, takes orders and sometimes helps at the till, maybe it's there that she knew and dreams of him.

"What a great nickname." I puckered my lips and made fake flying kisses at his direction.

"She calls me---" He rounded the last corner of the street. The parking area now full, I forgot I'm already hours late.

"I'm not Jelly Bean. It's just she leaves her station and makes me do her part. I hate her, but I still wanted to be in heaven so I'm praying that whenever I hold a wooden rolling pin I wouldn't be tempted to whack it in her head. Bam! Annalise red berry blood. " I fixed my hair one last time to get ready for work and an impending earful from Marissa. She's the one managing the place but Kristen's the owner. I haven't seen Kristin the entire 3 years of my work so I only assume she's just a name of the company.

"You're a murderer. My wife is a murderer. "

That one warm smile that's wrecking havoc on my insides. My intestines probably a sick twisted pretzel right now.

Somewhere, it made me jittery.
The way he sounded so sure. That it was no play or an act. But darling, this is real life not some random chick lit short story.

"Remind me to rolepaly that on our honeymoon. " I winked and closed the door.

He honked the horn and speed off.

I released the breath I never knew I was holding.

For the first time, I want to live.