Sometimes I would ask myself, had I not been born with arduous life will I be a different person? Will I live a simple life? I want to have kids, love a man, live like others would but that dream shattered even before it could've been too good to be true.I don't want to be in that place anymore. Everynight the screams  without a voice came. The shrills that shook my insides are what keeps me sane.

Because scars are for life.

When he held me close I let myself believe  I am  capable of love. We didn't do anything, just staying in the cocoon of cuddles.

"What are these?"  His fingers stopped caressing my bare shoulders, pulling me against him to look at it closely.

His eyes once glimmered with excitement went dull and distraught.

"Trophies." I closed my eyes and wished he would just let things go and not ruin what we started.

"Did someone hurt you?" Now he looked ethereal as sweat glided and glistened against warm muted light.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." I scooted away from him.

"Who hurt you?" 

"Don't. It's none of your business." 

"You won't tell me, I understand. I just thought you're okay being honest."

"I don't know what tomorrow brings. I keep myself ready and you knowing won't help the situation."

"I will be always, always on your side." he leaned to kiss me but I stopped him.

"I killed someone."

I felt like I'm just a shadow. A shadow that feared darkness. Because as much as I hate the people I hate. 

I am one of them. What I feared, is what I am now.

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I hope you are all safe and sane. Thanks for reading :)