When I was twelve I was cast as a tree in my school play. Not because I was particularly willowy in stature, or because I was tree-like in any way, shape or form. I was cast as a tree because I couldn’t act.  A little bug eyed boy called Charles, who was about as delinquent as they come, and ‘moi’ stood at the back of the stage and waved our arms from side to side as the only two trees in the play. In my report card my teacher had commented on my participation in the school play, “Annie tried really hard in the play.”

And now I was cast in the role of fake fiancé to Chris and had no idea how I was going to pull it off. Especially in front of Trev, who seemed to have this uncanny ability to sniff out bullshitters, liars and cheats. (Takes one to know one I guess)

The prospect of playing ‘couple in love’ for the next seven days was terrifying. And I could only imagine what my sister was going to say when she arrived.

“Okay, so maybe I took it a bit far with that engagement thing,” Chris said as he started helping me throw my clothes and cosmetics in my suitcases. “But those two were driving me mad with their perfect, great- sooo great- little life. I couldn’t help myself!”

“A bit too far… I’m not sure how we’re going to pull this off?”

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine.” Chris said zipping up the last of my bags and pulling them out the door.

Maybe he was right. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. “You’re probably right. It’s not like we’ll be bumping into them every five seconds, it’s a big resort.”

Famous last thoughts- because as we closed the door behind us and started walking down the path…

“Anne. Chris.” That smug little nasal voice again. “What are you guys doing with bags?” I could hear the conniving suspicion in his voice. He was dying to catch us out. I could tell from the second that Chris had said we were engaged, that he didn't believe us.

“Um…” I looked at Chris hoping he had some clever story; he was the writer after all.

“We’re upgrading rooms. The presidential suit, “ Chris really annunciated those last two words and Trev shuddered in response, “The presidential suit was only ready for us from tonight, so we’re just switching rooms.” Chris shot him a dazzling smile.

“Presidential suit hey?“I didn’t know they had them here?”

“Yeah. Honestly, it’s not as good as some of the others we’ve stayed in, but it will do.”

It was hard not to burst out laughing. Chris was milking the situation for all it was worth and I was thrilled to finally be getting the opportunity to kick Trev where it would hurt. In his ego.

“Well enjoy.” It was said with such blatant insincerity that I could almost hear what he really wanted to say, “I hope the roof caves in on you two and a giant Tsunami rushes in and washes you both out to the deep sea where you drown and are eaten alive by sharks.”

But he smiled and waved and trotted off down the path dragging Tess behind him.

Tess really is one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen. She oozes and drips and simmers sex. You might be wondering why this hadn’t set alarm bells screeching when they’d started working together? But she was always so nice to me, and seemed so in love with her fiancé, that the thought of her and Trev being unfaithful had never even crossed my mind.

She was blessed with a creamy olive complexion, the perfect Barbie doll measurements, long shiny black hair and rich hazelnut eyes. Chris was right- she looked a lot like Megan Fox, something I knew I could never compete with. It had been a massive blow to my ego when they'd officially gotten together; you never want your ex to go out with someone hotter than you, let alone someone who could win the Miss Universe contest dressed in a black plastic bag and hobbling on crutches. And I didn’t like the fact that Chris thought she was gorgeous, especially since I was supposed to be his fake fiancé.

“Why don’t you take the room downstairs and I’ll take the one upstairs.” Chris said putting my bags down in the deliciously, plush air-conditioned room.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll take upstairs.”

“Downstairs is nicer though.”

“It’s okay. Besides, I like the view from upstairs.” The truth was that I felt weird sleeping in the bed he’d been in- it felt too intimate.  

“So” Chris said with a weird inflection in his voice, “ Have you noticed anything new?”

“About what?” I automatically started looking around the room and then I remembered. I was going to say it earlier, because I’d noticed it right away- but with Trev and Tess, it had escaped my mind.

“You’ve trimmed the beard.”

“Bingo.”

“It looks good.” Because it did. In fact, he looked amazing. I could finally see the face that had been hiding beneath the fuzz. The beard wasn’t completely gone; but in it’s place was a dark five o clock shadow. But the most striking thing about the change, was that I could finally see his smile. Big, wide, friendly and contagious- it lit up his entire face. It had a certain mischievous quality to it too, which I really liked. Trev’s smile felt rehearsed. It was also identical in every photo, as if he’d practiced it in front of the mirror, which he probably had.

But Chris’ smile was genuine, it made the corners of his eyes wrinkle up and you could see the little laugh lines around his mouth. Coupled with those light, watery blue eyes- he really was a pretty good looking guy…

Stop thinking like that Annnie! I mentally reprimanded myself. 

“Okay, I’m going upstairs now to unpack.” I was half way up the stairs already as I said it, I certainly wasn’t going to indulge that little thought for a second longer.

“Cool. What do you want to do later?”

His question caught me off guard, of course we were going to be doing stuff together, we were a couple now. Couples did things. They hung out. They held hands. “I had thought about going for a massage or a pedicure. I can’t afford to spend anymore time in the sun.”

“ A massage sounds nice. I’ll call reception and book.”

On second thoughts, a massage was just what I needed. Because since bumping into Trev and Tess, my stress and anxiety levels had shot up to an uncomfortable ten! We were also less likely to bump into them at the Spa, because knowing them, they were probably at the beach flaunting their model physiques.

 Again, famous last thoughts…

Because we walked into the spa and there they were, sitting in the waiting area. Tess looked like she should be in a stills campaign for Guess swimwear. She'd changed into a bikini and had barely covered her bottom half with a see through sarong. The way she was sitting too, it looked more a deliberate pose, than an actual sit.

“Well, well we meet again.” Trev was the first to speak. “We just keep bumping into each other, don’t we.” He stood up and gave Chris a manly pat on the back. “Are you guys following us?” He finished this sentence with another fake laugh.

“Busted!” Chris reciprocated by slapping Trev back, and I couldn’t help but notice that it was perhaps a little too hard, “You guys are just so interesting that we can’t help following you around.” Chris added in insincere mock jest.

The room erupted into a fake cacophony of forced laughter. And you just knew that under the “hahahahahah” were deep feelings of hatred and annoyance. But no one was going to show them, so we all just pretended to find everything very amusing and interesting.

“Your rooms are ready.” Thankfully the petite masseuse interrupted the artificial merriment.

“RoomS” Trev’s keen lawyer senses had kicked in, “Didn’t you guys get a couple room like we did.” He was testing us again, I could see it in the way he ran his eyes up and down, as if trying to read us like a column of words.

“There were none available when we booked.” The answer just flew out of my mouth but was quickly rebutted when the masseuse informed us that there was indeed a couple’s room available.  

 “Great. Well that’s good news!” But truthfully it was the worst thing I’d ever heard. Were Chris and I now to share a massage room? Half naked I might add?

We said our phony farewells and followed the masseuse down the passage. The Spa was incredible. The rooms were all built into a giant Banyan tree, which looked like it was hundreds of years old with its interconnected winding roots. The rooms looked out over the sea, but were high up enough that people on the beach couldn't see in.  And once inside, it smelt of Magnolia and Coconut and was filled with the sounds of tranquil music that could lull anyone into deep relaxation.

“We will give you five minutes to get ready.” The masseuse said before closing the door behind us.

I looked at Chris.

And he looked at me.

We were alone and semi nudity was required.