Familiá Altamirano #1

I WAS smiling the whole time I watched Reeve carrying baby Killian in his arms. His eyes were sparkling with so much joy while dancing with our baby.

"You love dancing with Papa, little one? Hmm?" he murmured lovingly.

Narinig 'ko ang mumunting hagikgik ng anak namin kaya mas napangiti ako. Reeve laughed in so much delight before he gently kissed baby Killian's forehead.

Reeve's mouth opened in awe when baby Killian suddenly made cute sounds. I giggled at his reaction as I continued pumping my breast milk.

The breast pump had been my best friend ever since I gave birth. It's convenient for me to pump my milk rather than buy formula milk since breast milk has more benefits. In addition, I could just grab a bottle for him and heat it up. I'm planning to breastmilk him until the last drop of my milk. Ayokong umasa sa formula milk hanggang meron pa rin gatas sa loob ng dibdib 'ko.

Parang matutunaw ang puso 'ko habang pinagmamasdan ang mag-ama 'ko. Nakakatuwang isipin na ang lalaking ayaw 'kong tanggapin noon, ay siyang mahal 'ko at mamahalin 'ko habang buhay.

Our first months as a parents were really hard. Kahit sabihin pa na may background na ako sa ganito bilang doctor ay iba pa rin talaga kapag sariling anak 'ko na. But in our case, Reeve is the one who suffers the most. Halos hindi na siya pumapasok sa trabaho dahil siya ang nag-aalaga sa amin ni baby. Halos hindi na niya ako pinapakilos na ultimo pagsubo ng pagkain, siya ang gagawa dahil baka raw mapagod ako.

I had a normal delivery. The pain was to the highest level, but it was worth it. Gabi-gabi siyang napupuyat sa pag-aalaga hindi lang si baby kung hindi pati sa akin. But I never heard any complain from him. He was even gladly taking care of us from dawn to dusk.

Mas lalo tuloy akong nahuhulog sa asawa 'ko sa bawat araw.

"Wife, are you okay? Tell me if you're hungry, alright?" malambing nyang tanong sa akin saka hinalikan ako sa noo. "If you are sleepy, then sleep. Ako na bahala kay baby Killian." Bakas pa rin ang ngiti sa labi niya na animo hindi nangangalay sa pagbubuhat.

I shook my head and smiled. "I'm fine, hubby. Ikaw ba? How are you holding up?" I playfully asked.

"I'm strong as incredible hulk, wife," he says while smirking.

I smiled. Reeve is really much more caring now. Ayaw na ayaw nyang napapagod ako kahit isang buwan na rin ang nakalipas simula nang ipanganak 'ko si Killian. Kapag madaling araw at nagising si Killian ay si Reeve mismo ang tumatayo para patahanin siya.

"Hubby, you can stop carrying Killian. It's time for him to sleep na," sabi 'ko nang makitang inaantok na si baby.

"Copy, general," he said. "Once baby Killian sleeps, let's eat, then cuddle until we fall asleep," he said as he slowly put baby Killian in the crib.

I giggled. Itinigil 'ko na ang ginagawa at inayos na ang pagkakasuot ng damit 'ko. I cleaned the table and tidied the pumping supplies I used.

"Noted, hubby!" I answered, then slowly rocking the crib so baby Killian could fall asleep fast.

Masaya ang buhay 'ko noong kami lang ni Reeve, but having our baby made my life so much better. Ganito pala talaga ang pakiramdam na maging isang ina. My heart is full of sparkling diamonds of happiness.

"Look, wife, our son is a good boy. He sleep so fast," he muttered adoringly. Tiningnan 'ko si baby Killian na mahimbing na natutulog sa crib.

"Aww, he's a cutiepie, hubby. . ." I whispered, and quickly covered my mouth when I yawned.

"See? You're sleepy," he commented. "Please, sleep first, wife. You need to sleep more," he said when he saw me yawning for the second time.

I nodded and was about to stand up when he carried me smoothly and put me in the bed. Then, he pulled the comforter and covered me up to my waist. Mabilis akong binalot ng kilig dahil sa ginawa niya.

He immediately lay in the space beside me and automatically encircled his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I couldn't help but giggle when the butterflies in my stomach instantly tickled me.

"There, you go," he whispered. "I love you, wife," he whispered before he kissed me on the forehead.

"I love you, hubby," I whispered back before slumber slowly engulfed me.

I was in a deep slumber when I woke up after I heard Killian let out a loud cry. Mabilis akong naupo at handa na siyang lapitan para patahanin nang makitang buhat-buhat na siya Reeve.

My mouth fell open. Reeve was rocking him slowly in his arms as he hummed a lullaby. However, Killian didn't stop crying. He cried even more, causing me to stand up despite being sleepy and was about to come closer when an audible exploded ascanded.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Reeve bago ako napasinghap nang makitang may kung anong laman ang diaper ni Killian! Fuck!

"He poop," Reeve said calmly.

"Let me change his diapers, hubby-"

"It's okay, wife. Just go back to the bed and sleep more. Ako na ang bahala magpalit ng diaper ni Killian," he says, smiling like Killian's poop wasn't a big deal.

Ngumiwi ako. "Are you sure? I'll help, hubby."

Umiling siya at mapagkumbaba na ngumiti. "I can handle this wife. But if you insist, guide me, please?" he says.

"Of course! Lay him here," sabi 'ko at mabilis na kumuha ng mga baby wipes, new diapers, changing mats, diaper cream for rashes, and new pajamas.

Reeve was the one who was doing all the work while I was instructing him. Hindi 'ko maiwasan ang hindi mapangiti sa tuwing hahagikgik si Killian na animo tuwang-tuwa na pinapalitan ang diaper niya.

"Done! Did I do a great job, wife?" he asked like a kid, asking for an award.

I nodded in approval. "You did a great job, papa!" I commented, making his ears reddened.

Natawa ako dahil doon. Mabilis siyang ngumuso at halos takpan na ang magkabilang tenga dahil mas tumindi ang pamumula 'non. I leaned forward, cupping his face, then sealed his lips with mine.

"You deserve a kiss for being a good father and husband!" Humagikgik ako at hinalikan siyang muli sa labi.

He kissed me back and was about to deepen our kiss when Killian suddenly cry. Nagkatinginan kami at sabay na napaawang ang labi nang makitang tumigil na rin sa pag-iyak ang anak namin. Reeve chuckled and kissed baby Killian's forehead.

"I think he doesn't want us to kiss!" sabi 'ko, natatawa.

Killian cried for the second time. I bit my bottom lip as I watched him slowly carry Killian in his arms and sway him, trying to stop him from crying.

"Hush, hush, papa's here," rinig 'kong bulong niya.

Napangiti ako at niligpit na ang mga pinaggamitan na gamit. My heart swells while watching Reeve carrying our son. Halatang tuwang-tuwa siya na hinehele si Killian dahil nakangiti siya at paulit-ulit na hinahalikan ang noo ng anak namin.

Days and weeks went by, and I thought I was already doing fine, but postpartum slapped me 360 degrees. I felt sad, hopeless, and exhaustion from every day, causing me to cry a lot the whole week. It started when Killian suddenly got a fever after getting his vaccine shots. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang sisihin ang sarili 'ko sa mga oras na 'yon dahil ako mismo ang doctor niya. I blamed myself so hard that it made me cry for days.

I am my own son's pediatrician yet wala akong nagawa noong lagnatin siya. All my family were there, especially Reeve, and they were calming me, but I was frantic.

"Wife, don't cry, please. . . It's not your fault," Reeve hugged me as he continued caressing my hair.

I shook my head and cried more. "It was my fault! I-I am the one who gave him the shot, Reeve! I am Killian's pediatrician, yet I didn't do anything to prevent him from getting sick!" I cried out loud.

He tried to calm me down but I was really frantic. Killian got sick because of me! I am the one who gave him the vaccine shots. . . It was my fault! I am so careless! I am a doctor! I should be saving lives and not causing sickness! I'm such a bad mother!

"Kelsea, calm down! It's normal to have a fever as a reaction of the body after taking a vaccine shot! Walang mangyayaring masama kay baby Killian!" Mom was trying to calm me down.

Mas lalo akong umiyak nang marinig ang sinabi niya. Reeve hugged me tighter and kept kissing the side of my head to calm me down. He also whispered assuring things to me.

"My son is sick. . ." I muttered between my sobs.

"Calm down, Dra. Kelsea," the senior pediatrician spoke. "Dra. Altamirano is right. You didn't do anything wrong. Baby Killian just had a normal reaction of a baby having his first vaccine shots. It's normal, okay? You don't have to worry about it."

Since I couldn't converse properly that time, Reeve was the one who's listening to the doctor. He was even taking down notes. Noong mga oras na 'yon, pakiramdam 'ko walang kwenta ang mga pinag-aralan 'ko para maging doctor.

Reeve was very gentle to me at that time. He didn't leave by my side. He stayed throughout my postpartum journey. He was very patient and understanding towards me. He also always assured me that my feelings were valid.

I feel ashamed and guilty about feeling depressed when I was supposed to be happy. I feel like I am a bad mother for getting my baby sick. But then I realized that any woman can become depressed during pregnancy or after having a baby. But it doesn't mean you are a bad mom.

I'm so blessed that aside from Reeve, my friends and family also help me cope with my postpartrum by visiting and spending time with me. Mom even shared about her experience when she first gave birth to me. I learned a lot from her experiences.

Weeks after that, realization hit me that getting sick after a vaccine shot is normal. Masyado akong nagpadala sa bugso ng damdamin 'ko na nawala 'yon sa pag-iisip ko.

As I reminisce what happened way back, I don't feel any remorse anymore. Matagal na akong naka-recover sa nangyari. Reeve was my source of support that time. Hindi niya ako iniwan kahit kaiwan-iwan ako noong mga oras na 'yon.

However, challenges in life weren't running out because a month later, Tito Benedict, Reeve's dad, was rushed to the hospital. He was diagnosed having anemia and needed to have a blood transfusion. So, Reeve fled to France and stayed there for two weeks until his dad was discharged from the hospital. Noong umalis siya papunta sa France ay si Celine at dalawang private nurse ang kasa-kasama 'ko sa bahay. Sila ang tumutulong sa akin sa pag-aalaga kay Killian.

In addition, Reeve and I decided to postpone our upcoming wedding. We both think that maybe this year wasn't a good year for us to get married, so we decided to marry next year. We decided to continue our wedding after Killian's first birthday. Hindi naman kasi kami nagmamadali.

I was back in my senses when my husband planted a kiss on my exposed shoulders. I was only wearing an old sleeveless blouse because I just pumped my breastmilk earlier. I hate wearing fancy clothes whenever I pump my breastmilk because it just gets wet. Ang hassle magpalit ng damit!

"Wife, naiinggit ako. . ." nakalabing pahayag sa akin ng asawa 'ko.

"Bakit naman, hubby?" sagot 'ko habang marahan na tinatapik ang matabang hita ni Killian.

He was on my lap while sucking on my breast. Maya maya ay matutulog na naman siya dahil busog na sa gatas.

"Because I haven't taste your milk. . . " mababang sagot niya bago sumubsob sa aking leeg.

Hindi 'ko maiwasan ang hindi matawa sa naging sagot niya. Oh, God! I couldn't believe my husband is acting like a kid again! Mas lalong humaba ang nguso niya nang marinig ang pagtawa 'ko.

"You're laughing at me, wife!" nagtatampong aniya.

I bit my bottom lips, stifling a chuckle.

"Hindi, ah?" I fibbed.

"Can I taste your milk, too? Please? Just once?" he asked in the most cutest way. "I miss sucking your boobies, wife. . ." he added.

Tinitigan 'ko siya habang namumula ang magkabilang pisngi. I just realized na sobrang tagal na pala simula noong huli namin. Since when my tummy got big, we didn't make love anymore. It's been seven months since our last make love, and I kinda missing it.

There's this time that I was about to ask him to make love, but I saw him sleeping soundly with Killian in the bed. My heart swells in that scene. Then, I realized that we should focus on our son before us. The most intimate we're only doing for now are kissing and hugging.

"Please? Just once suck?" he pleaded while cutely blinking his eyes.

"Come here, hubby." I demanded.

His eyes immediately sparkled in delight. He completely unclasps my bra and leans down on my other boobs. I bit my tongue to stifle a moan when I felt his lips sucking my mounds. He gently nibbles and sucks my boob, sipping my milk.

"Don't fondle it, hubby!" I chastised when he gently squeezed my boob.

He just snickered and continued sucking me. I glanced at Killian who's busy sucking my other boobs. Sabay na bumitaw ang mag-ama sa boobies 'ko pagkaraan ng ilang minuto.

Reeve was smiling so wide after he feasted on my boobs. Hinalik-halikan niya ako sa noo bago ako halikan sa labi. Ngumiti ako at humagikgik nang gumawa ng maliliit na tunog si Killian.

"Ang sarap! It's taste so good," he winked at me.

Napailing ako at pinisil ang tungki ng ilong niya. "Does it taste a little salty or sweet?"

"A little sweet, but your lips are sweeter!" he said.

Hindi 'ko talaga maiwasan ang hindi matawa sa tuwing ganito siya. He love my breast milk so much na kapag walang lumalabas na gatas ay agaran siyang magvovolunteer to suck my boobies para may lumabas ulit. He's literally a big baby!

"I think Killian is happy seeing us being happy. I love you, wife," he whispered and carried Killian.

Ngumiti ako at hinalikan siya sa labi. "I love you, hubby," I whispered back.

Hindi pa gaanong sumisikat ang araw nang magising ako. I groaned silently when I saw the clock, quarter to five. Nang magising si Killian ay pinadede 'ko siya saglit at hinele para makatulog ulit. Noong bumalik siya sa pagtulog ay nagluto naman ako ng breakfast dahil hindi na ako makatulog.

I wanted to cook for my husband. Palagi na lang kasi siya ang nagluluto para sa amin. Ilang buwan na rin naman ang nakakalipas at pwedeng-pwede na ako gumalaw. Siya lang itong OA na ayaw akong kumilos at baka hindi pa raw magaling ang tahi 'ko.

Mabilis akong natigilan sa akmang pagsasalin ng hotdog at bacon sa plato nang may yumakap sa beywang 'ko. Kahit hindi 'ko lingonin ay alam 'kong si Reeve 'yon base sa amoy niya!

"Wife, what are you doing here? Hmm? I told you that if you need something downstairs, you should tell me, right?" he said while hugging me from behind.

I turned at him and pouted. "Hubby, ayos lang ako. I didn't even sweat from walking down the stairs from our bedroom,"

Umismid siya at umiling. "Still no. You just gave birth to our son, and suffered from postpartum for weeks, wife. That's not nothing. You should be in the bed, resting." he said with finality in his voice.

Umawang ang labi 'ko sa narinig. "But it's been eight months, hubby! Ang tagal na simula noong manganak ako! Malapit na nga natin icelebrate ang first birthday ni Killian!" sabi 'ko at pinisil ang tungki ng ilong niya.

Sumimangot siya saka inagaw ang sandok sa akin. Siya na ang naglipat ng mga niluto 'kong pagkain.

"Just sit, wife," supladong aniya.

Natatawa akong humalik sa pisngi niya. "Hala?! Nagtatampo pa itong asawa 'ko," nanlalambing na sabi 'ko.

His eyes narrowed at me before he problematically growled and hugged me. Sinubsob niya ang mukha sa leeg 'ko. "You really know my weakness, huh?" he says huskily.

Humagikgik ako at hinalikan siya sa labi ng matagal. "I love you. Huwag kana magtampo, hubby? Hmm? I swear, pwede na talaga ako gumalaw-galaw," nanlalambing na sabi 'ko.

"You can't blame me. I'm very concerned about you, wife." Mahina at nag-aalalang sabi niya.

I pouted and hugged him tighter. Hinalikan niya naman ang noo 'ko. "Alam 'ko naman na sobra kang nag-aalala, hubby. That's why I'm thankful that you are my husband. Thank you for existing, hubby. I love you," ngumiti ako.

He cupped my face and kissed me on the lips, deeper this time. "Je t'aime tellement, wife. . ." he said after the kiss we had shared.

Time flies so fast because Killian is growing so fast. Killian is now ten months old, and in two months, he will turn 1. He can now crawl and stand on his own. He also have two primary teeth in front of his gums. He likes to explore and be mobile the reason why we've put up safety barriers in his nursery room.

Killian giggled as I tickled him gently on his chubby neck. His little chuckles are sound to my ears. I can't help but chuckle while watching him. May dalawang ngipin na siya sa harapan, making him more adorable.

"You like it when Mama tickles you, huh?" I gently said and kissed him on his forehead. "Mama and Papa loves you so much, baby. Don't grow up so fast, please?"

Killian made a random sounds as if he was talking back at me. Napangiti ako pinunasan ang namumuong laway sa gilid ng labi niya.

Saktong lumabas si Reeve galing bathroom nang magsalita si Killian sa unang pagkakataon. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first he uttered clear words. Most of the time, he was only making random sounds.

"Pa-pa!" Killian blurted out.

Nanlaki ang mga mata 'ko. "Hubby! Killian said, Papa!" I exclaimed.

Mabilis na umupo sa tabi 'ko si Reeve at binuhat si Killian. "Baby, say it again," he said softly.

Killian glanced at me, so I nodded while smiling.

"Ma-ma!" My eyes widened, and tears covered my eyes when he called me. He even reached his hand as if he was asking me to hold it.

"He said mama, hubby! He called me!" emosyonal na sabi 'ko.

"He did, wife." He quickly caressed my hair to hush me. "He's growing so fast, huh? Killian, say papa again, anak," he said.

"Pa-pa!" He clapped his hands.

Reeve gasp. Killian made a cute sound before his hand went to Reeve's mouth, slapping it gentle. Nakangiti ako habang pinapanood ang mag-ama 'ko.

Reeve immediately became emotional, just like me. "Oh, God! You're so smart, little one," he says, then hugs him gently.

"He's growing up too fast, hubby."

Sadness sliced his amber orbs. "He is," he says. "But he will always be our little one, right, Killian?" he says.

Killian suddenly giggled.

I giggled. "I'm sure Killian will be a hearthrob at school! Look at his smile, hubby. So, gwapo," I commented as I stared at my son.

He chuckled. "I know. He got it after you, wife..."

I frowned. "Baka sayo?! Ikaw ang kamukha, hubby! He's a spitting image of you!" sabi 'ko, nagrereklamo.

He chuckled while looking at me with amusement. I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. Tanggap 'ko naman na si Reeve ang kamukha ni Killian. Starting from his amber eyes, nose, eyebrows, and lips was on Killian's! Skin tone lang yata ang nakuha sa akin. Ang lagay ay ako lang talaga ang nagbuntis, kasi sa kaniya nakuha lahat!

"You're so adorable, wife," he complimented.

"Hmmp!" nakangusong sagot 'ko.

He chuckles and gives me a quick kiss on his lips, making me blush. I look away and look at Killian, who's bouncing on Reeve's lap.

"What do you think of marrying me next month?" he asked, making my lips parted.

I immediately turned at him. Naguguluhan ang mga mata 'ko habang nakatitig sa kaniya. My heart beat was beating loudly against my chest.

"What? I thought we would wait for Killian's 1st birthday?"

"I can't wait to marry you, wife. . . I think next month will be a good month for us. We can go to France or other countries in Europe for our honeymoon. . . That's what you want, right?" Kumikislap ang mga mata niya habang sinasabi 'yon.

Hindi ako kaagad nakapagsalita at nakatitig lamang sa kaniya. May kung anong kiliti akong nararamdaman sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig niya.

"But I thought Killian will be our ring bearer? He can't walk, hubby! Magcacrawl ba siya sa red carpet?"

Mabilis siyang tumawa at hinalik-halikan ako sa gilid ng ulo. "You silly. Killian is smart, wife. We will let him ride a mini vintage car. What do you think, Mrs Roschefort? Hmm?" he said huskily.

I gasped and covered my mouth. "That's a clever idea, hubby!" I commented.

Reeve chuckled, nodding. "So. . . Will you marry me next month?" he proposed.

Mabilis akong ngumiti at sunod-sunod na tumango. "Yes! I will marry you next month, Reeve!"

Reeve smiled with his eyes. "Yes! Thank you, wife. I love you so much, Kelsea." he said in his most sincere voice.

My eyes watered. "I love you, Reeve. Thank you for always waiting for me," I said sincerely.

He smiled, making me smile, too. He was about to kiss me when Killian bit his ears. I chuckled so loud when Reeve wince. Mabilis 'kong kinuha si Killian at nilipat sa kandungan 'ko. I held his chin.

"Killian, baby, you shouldn't bit your papa, that's bad, okay?" sabi 'ko pero humahagikgik naman.

"I forgot that he's teething!" Reeve says, making me laugh. "You bit papa, little one," he softly chastised Killian, but the latter just giggled.

My heart is filled with so much love and gratitude. I am blessed to have so many great things in my life. With Reeve and our firstborn, Zuriel Killian, I feel complete. . . And I couldn't ask for more.

ENDING.

:(