Xiao did not know when this guilty longing began.

Perhaps it was on a normal day like any other, he accepted Lumine's invitation to accompany her on a journey around Liyue. To be honest, that day was nothing special, just like any other time she eagerly ran to the Wangshu Inn to find him, insistently asking him to join her on her adventure. The only difference was that on that day, the sky was overcast, smoky in color. Long strips of ash stretched endlessly to the horizon.

They were clearing a group of monsters when she called out his name, told him that it was about to rain soon. He remembered stabbing his spear through a hilichurl, irritably responding that rain wouldn't stop the demons, so she should focus on her task.

This was not long after the "death" of the Geo Archon, and he was not yet accustomed to the joy she found in the smallest things, instead, he was only filled with doubt and confusion. No, even now, he still couldn't understand her thoughts. The way she helped others and forgot about her own safety, or always got excited and curious about trivial things.

She fell silent after he said that, and he didn't know whether to be glad that she stopped spouting nonsense or regret the melodious hums that always accompanied him during the battle now suddenly ceased. He thought she would hate him, would quietly tell him to go back to the inn and continue on her own, and he had already prepared himself for that. However, after everything was done, she suddenly grabbed his wrist. So quickly that he couldn't refuse, pulled him into an abandoned house nearby to shelter from the rain, and grumbled helplessly when their clothes were already soaked.

That touch haunted him in his dreams even now.

It was a distant and trivial memory. For a being that had existed for thousands of years, witnessing history take shape and a new civilization rise, such a faint memory shouldn't have been etched into his mind so persistently. And the proof was that Xiao had forgotten countless things from the past. He no longer remembered the faces of the comrades who fought alongside him, he forgot the source of his own destructive power, forgot his long-gone innocence before he was tormented by the evil god and took the lives of countless innocent beings.

But he remembered Lumine. He remembered the times she volunteered to keep him company. He remembered the trivial stories she told him after each distant journey. He remembered the times she seemed to unintentionally touch him, with her shoulders brushing lightly as they walked side by side or her hand on his shoulder, quietly reassuring him.

Xiao knew Lumine was a very touchy person. Each time he witnessed it, he was slightly envious. He remembered her placing a comforting kiss on Paimon's forehead beneath the deep chasm, remembered her secretly touching Ganyu's horns when she was asleep, remembered the affectionate head pats she gave Qiqi when visiting Bubu Pharmacy.

Or even when she smiled brightly, arms wide, hugging the Anemo Archon when she unexpectedly met him at Liyue Harbor.

In contrast, her touches towards him were swift and few. Like a sweet dream that ended so quickly. Yet, though brief, he swore that her touch on him always lingered a bit longer, stayed a bit more compared with others. It might not have been as natural or intimate, but it held a desire he dared not name. As if... it was saying: she wanted more . And just the thought of it made his heart pound as if it would burst.

Xiao thought he was delusional. After all, he was just one of her numerous friends - a renowned traveler throughout the vast land of Teyvat, how could he be treated specially by her?

But Lumine's touches gradually increased after that. As if after she realized he didn't outright reject it, she took the opportunity. After receiving hesitant permission from him, she eagerly reached out to touch the tattoo on his arm. Her fingers traced the intricate lines as if caressing a precious object, her eyes intense, focused on him and only him. Her hand on his skin felt like it was burning, making his breath quicken and his whole body feel drunk as if he had just gulped a whole bottle of rice wine.

Xiao was not used to this. Not used to being touched so gently and respectfully. No one had ever touched or dared to touch him like that. The physical touches he had experienced in the past only carried the weight of fists and weapons tearing through flesh. So Lumine's touch on him was strange, causing forbidden and shameful desires to float in his mind. She was bold, and that was not good for his efforts to banish these sinful thoughts. The number of times she suddenly hugged him from behind, casually rested her head on his shoulder, or reached out to hold his hand worryingly increased. And although it had become a daily occurrence for her every time they met, he still couldn't get used to it.

Xiao knew he shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't let Lumine get too close, couldn't let her hand linger too long on his skin. But he couldn't refuse her, couldn't deny the feeling of her warmth lingering on his body. It was too little to satisfy him, but too much for him to bear. Throughout thousands of years serving Liyue under the Geo Archon, he had never wanted anything. Yet now he was pathetically helpless just because of something as trivial as a human's touch.

And it wasn't just that he wanted to be touched; he also, shamefully, wanted to touch Lumine. However, perhaps that desire was too embarrassing for him to put into words, so he remained silent and suppressed it. Even though it made his heart burn like fire, aching like being pricked by needles. He wanted to do all the things she had done to him. He wanted to run his fingers over the scars from countless battles on her body, wanted to hear the story of each wound that would accompany her until her body withered away. He wanted to kiss her bare shoulder like she had traced her lips over the exposed skin of his back, wanted to intertwine his calloused hands, rough from this endless fight, with hers.

But Xiao was always someone who didn't express his true feelings. He only looked at her with silent longing every time she buried her head in his chest, eyes meeting his. Lumine was quiet for a while, then smiled. She took his hand without hesitation, placing it on her shoulder where a new scar had appeared after a trip to Inazuma.

"You can touch it."

She read him like an open book. The refusal rose to his lips, but when her warm flesh touched his glove, he fell silent. Xiao held his breath, tracing the red, fern-like patterns from her neck down to where they disappeared beneath her dress. Beautiful and astonishing, but he knew how much it must have hurt. He knew the feeling of thousands of electric currents coursing through the body, etching deeply into the thin layer of skin.

Lumine hummed contentedly, and he felt a bit more encouraging. His other hand held hers. He remembered the times she had touched him, imitating her as he gently caressed her slender fingers, the joints, and the soft palm. It was hard to believe that the small hand nestled in his had made the god of eternity bow down and countless enemies turn into ashes.

Xiao looked up at her, hesitant. But she never rushed or hurried him. Her lips curved reassuringly, and her hand reached up to touch his face. He leaned into the touch, trembling as her fingers lightly brushed his lower lip. He took a deep breath to regain his composure, which elicited a giggle from her. Her laughter was soothing, pleasant like the sound of a stream flowing in Qingce Village, like autumn leaves falling on the paths of Bishui Plain. It made his heart flutter and calm at the same time.

He suddenly wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her back against his chest. She cried out in surprise at the sudden action, but then shyly let him continue. Ignoring the fact that his face was burning with embarrassment, he removed his gloves, tossed them aside, and boldly placed his bare hand back on her shoulder. Flesh burning against flesh. It felt so intense that both of them flinched. His hand nervously slid down, his breathing controlled and quiet. He was afraid that if he breathed too hard, she would pull away and run. Xiao touched her shoulder blade, recalling the times she had told him about the days before she lost her strength and wings – the time before she stepped into this world. She said her wings weren't soft and pure white like the Anemo Archon's, nor large and rough like the dragon's form of the Geo Archon; her wings were like those of a fairy in Mondstadt's fairy tales, and he dreamed of the day he could touch the wings she had lost.

Xiao kissed the nape of Lumine's neck, and she shivered. Not out of fear, but excitement. One hand circled her waist, the other reached up to remove the scarf from her neck. His whole body was trembling.

Lumine. Her hair, golden like sunlight. Her face, small and captivating. Her eyes, sparkling like honey. Her cheeks, round and rosy. Her long, slender eyelashes. Her warm, inviting lips.

Lumine. Her slender, delicate hands. Her shoulders and slender back. Her quick, agile legs. Her suspiciously moving neck. Her slim, perfectly fitting waist.

Lumine. The curve of her full chest. Her shy, delicate thighs. Her soft, unexplored flesh beneath the thin dress.

"Xiao..."

Lumine moaned, and Xiao snapped back to reality, shivering. He never thought his name could turn into such a pure and clear sound until it was uttered from her lips. His mind was a chaotic mess, teetering on the edge between wakefulness and dreams. His breath was hot and heavy against the nape of her neck. He shook his head, trying to drive away the lingering remnants of his tainted fantasy.

Xiao sighed, nestling his head into the crook of her neck.

Perhaps, he should save that for another day.