-Avery-

I stared up at the ceiling of Devin's hospital room. It was early in the evening, too early to sleep, but I had nothing to do but lay here on the air mattress. Devin had been a lot more tired during his second week here, and he was currently asleep.

My cell phone vibrated on the floor, buzzing loudly against the tile. I scrambled to get it, hoping the noise hadn't woken Devin up. Sam was calling me. I rejected the call and quickly typed out a text. "What's up? I can't answer right now."

"We're all going to be at camp this weekend and we want to see you and Devin again. Do you have plans already? If not, come see us!"

I smiled sadly to myself before I started typing out a reply. There was no way I was going to leave Devin's side, so I'd have to come up with an excuse as to why we couldn't make it.

"Who is it?" Devin mumbled.

I turned to the side. "Sorry, I was hoping that didn't wake you up."

"I was only dozing." He turned onto his side also, so that we were facing each other.

"It's Sam," I said, holding up my phone. "She wants us to come visit the camp this weekend, but I'm going to tell her we have a work emergency."

"You should go. It'll be good for you to get out of here for a while and see your friends."

"I'm not going anywhere while you're still in the hospital."

Devin sat up and rolled his eyes. "This is like the safest place for me to be. And my dad can stay with me, or even Carter. He promised me he'd come hang out."

"I know, but I want to be here with you. I can visit the camp later, when you're back home and doing better."

To my surprise, Devin crossed his arms and stared at me. "I'm not eating anymore unless you go."

"What?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"You heard me. I want you to go see your friends, and I'm not eating any of my meals until you do."

"You can't do that," I protested. "Devin, this is your health and -"

"And two can play this game. If you can bribe me to eat, I can bribe you to do this. Go see your friends. You've been taking such good care of me," he said, his voice softening, "and I want you to have a break, okay?"

I was momentarily stunned into silence. Even though I wanted to see my friends, I was afraid to leave Devin. Logically, I knew it'd be fine, but my heart felt otherwise. I'd been so worried about him, and that worry was going to increase ten-fold if I wasn't here to make sure he was okay. At the same time, I knew how stubborn Devin could be.

"I've never had anyone show they care about me by threatening me," I replied, getting a smile out of us both, "but if you're going to go on a hunger strike, then I guess I'm going to camp this weekend."

-

On Friday evening, I parked the SUV next to the work trucks at camp and headed into the main building. They must have finished dinner not long ago, because everyone was still sitting in the dining area.

"Avery!" Sam shouted, getting up and running over to me, almost knocking me over when she threw her arms around me. I hugged her back tightly, a million emotions rushing through me as I took in the familiar faces in the room. I hadn't realized how happy I'd be to see them and to feel like things were normal again, even if only for a couple nights.

I made the rounds and hugged everyone before sitting down at the table. I wanted to ask them how they were doing, but before I got the chance, Peter glanced outside towards the vehicles. "Is Devin not with you?"

"No," I said. "He couldn't make it this weekend."

"How's he doing?" Amanda asked. "It was remarkable seeing the difference in him when you two visited last time, compared to how he was over the summer."

I smiled, but I could feel my lips start to tremble. I had planned on telling them about Devin tomorrow, but it seemed like I wasn't going to have much choice in the matter since I could feel tears welling in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked. "What's wrong? You guys didn't break up, did you?"

I shook my head. "We're still together. I told him I loved him," I replied, my voice catching on the last word. "But he has cancer, and he's been in the hospital for the last two weeks." And then, I promptly broke down crying.

Marc was sitting next to me, and he immediately gripped my shoulder, his hand trying to steady me. I heard someone getting up, and then Peter was at my other side, pulling me against him and wrapping me in a tight hug. My face was pressed into his neck as I sobbed, and the feel of his beard against my cheek reminded me of my own dad.

I hadn't meant to cry like this. I wanted to stay as composed as possible when telling them about Devin, but I'd spent the past few weeks being strong for Devin's sake and I hadn't realized the toll it had taken on me. I'd rarely cried since I found out about his diagnosis. I didn't want him to see my own fear and sadness, so I'd been bottling it up.

When I finally settled, slumped against Peter as he rubbed circles on my back with one of his hands, Marc had pushed a box of tissues in front of me and Amanda was setting a mug of tea next to the tissues. Mitch was staring sadly at me, his brow furrowed, and Sam's eyes were wide and both hands were over her mouth. 

Sam slowly lowered her hands. "His mom died of cancer..."

Everyone looked over at me, and I nodded. I grabbed a tissue and wiped off my face, trying to buy time before I had to speak. "His mom died when he was a kid. He has the same type of cancer she had."

Tears were streaking down Sam's cheeks. "How can that happen? No family deserves that nightmare twice. His poor dad."

"I didn't know that about Devin," Peter said. "It puts things into perspective finding out he lost his mom at a young age." He continued to rub my back. "What type of cancer? What are his odds?"

I put both hands around the mug of tea, breathing in some of the steam before I took a sip. And then I took a deep breath and began to tell them everything. They all listened intently, and it helped to finally get this off my chest and talk to someone about it other than Logan.

"I'm terrified I'm going to lose him," I said, my voice raw from crying and talking for so long. "I know he's made mistakes and hasn't always been the best version of himself, but he doesn't deserve this. He's made positive changes in his life since leaving camp, and he finally decided to give love a chance and be in a relationship, and now this happens. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had and I was looking forward to being in his life for a long time," I choked out.

Amanda reached across the table and took my hand. "It sounds like his chances are good, and that's thanks to you. Devin is lucky to have you. Try to remember that. There's also been a lot more research done between when his mom had cancer and now."

"She's right," Marc chimed in. "And think about how much better off Devin is with you as part of his support system."

"Speaking of support, how are you doing?" Sam asked. "You started a new job, moved to a new city, moved in with your boyfriend, and now your boyfriend has cancer. That's a lot, Avery."

I considered the question. "It is a lot, but I'm okay."

"Are you sure? What can we do to help?" Mitch asked.

"You all are already helping. I've put on a brave face for Devin, but I guess I needed the chance to fall apart and talk to someone about what's happening. So, thank you for listening."

"Anytime," Sam insisted. "Seriously, promise you'll tell me if you're not okay? You can call or text me any time."

"Same goes for any of us," Amanda said. "We're all here for you."

-

Spending the weekend at camp was exactly what I needed. I was sad to leave on Sunday morning, but I was also anxious to get back to Devin. Logan and Carter had both texted me with updates and I knew everything was fine, however it didn't stop me from feeling guilty that I wasn't there.

Before I left, everyone gathered around to hug me and say their goodbyes. "We also have something for Devin," Amanda told me, picking up a large card from her spot at the table. On the front was a beautiful colored drawing of the camp, with evergreens all around and mountains rising in the background. Standing in between the rows of cabins were two people holding hands, meant to represent Devin and I.

"You made this?" I asked, knowing Amanda liked to draw in her spare time.

She nodded and smiled. "I hope he'll like it."

"I'm sure he will. It's gorgeous." I flipped it open to see they all had written messages for Devin inside. "I think he'll really appreciate hearing from you all. Thank you."

Sam picked up my bag and walked me out to the SUV. "I have something for Devin." She pulled out the old iPod she carried with her everywhere and held it out to me. "I made him a few playlists. He probably gets bored and this will give him something to do."

I looked at the iPod in her hand, and then up at her. "But you use this every day. You've always got it with you when you're working."

"Yeah, but I can use my phone instead."

I knew how much this meant, and I couldn't believe Sam was doing this for Devin. She hadn't even liked him most of the time. I blinked rapidly, not wanting to cry again.

Sam put the iPod in my hand and curled my fingers around it. "He can give it back to me when he's better."

"Sam..."

"He will get better. Devin is strong, and he's got you in his corner."

I hugged her tightly. Words weren't enough to convey how grateful I was for her support. As I drove away from the camp, waving and watching it in my rearview mirror, I wished we could go back in time to when Devin and I were still at camp and he was healthy. 

I wished I could escape this sad nightmare we were in.