One minute im happpy and smiling and laughing with my friends then suddenly everything changes and i go numb. numb from feeling like evrything blanks out and i feel nothing anymore. In that moment the only thing you really wan is to feel something anything. Pain it doesnt matter you just dont want to feel, i just sit there and stare blankly out the window, dont sayd a word, cant shed a tear. Thats how i feel inside at that moment blank. Some times its so bad that i just shut down completely lay there starring at a blank wall and it doesnt matter what happens in that moment because i feel nothing. Nothing matters. This feeling can last any where from a day to weeks. You end up just doing anything you can to feel it doesnt matter if the feelingony lasts for seconds. You continue to do it to get yourself through the day. You some times find that even the thingsthat make you feel dont help. You will be suprised at the things you will do just to feel, just to make it through the day. Most times you still just barely make it, gets tiring pushing and trying too make it just to be on the verge of giving up. But you learn to push on and pretend.You learn that no matter how numb you may feel how to fake it. This Is All You Will Never Know. . .