Chapter 15

Arron

When I wake up, my first thought is about whether or not Ramelan remembers the dreams. He hasn't given any indication that he does, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't had them either. If I ask him, would he lie?

I sit up in bed. Over in the bed beside mine, it looks like Ramelan isn't awake. I've always woken up after the dream ends, but it could be different for him. The best option would be to ask him. So, I try to.

I get out of bed and poke him on the cheek.

He shoots up out of bed and smacks me in the face.

"Hey," I say, "That wasn't nice. I was just trying to wake you up."

"Huh?" He looks around, disoriented. "Oh, morning."

"I was wondering if you had a dream last night." I try to hedge around the real question, but it's kind of hard to with such a direct question.

"No. I don't remember having a dream last night." It doesn't sound like he's lying, but I need to make sure.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now let me get dressed." He then proceeds to kick me out. Meaning, he grabs my shoulder and hurls me out of the room.

We're acting like we hadn't had a humongous fight last night. That I hadn't walked around until it started raining, before I went home.

"Hey, Arron?" Ramelan says while we're sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Yeah?"

"Want to get some *klepon?"

"Sure, sounds like fun," I say, picking at the holes in my jeans.

It feels awkward with Ramelan because of the fight that we'd had. That and school has been canceled until further notice. Understandable. I hope that they're trying to capture the killer. I don't have a good enough reason to say no to Ramelan, otherwise, it might look like I was avoiding him.

I wish I could.

"Okay, there's a shop a few blocks down, if you want to walk there?" He seems kind of tentative in asking to hang out, which makes sense. He's not the type of person to take initiative in any kind of situation.

"Yeah, I'd love to go get some steps in." I smile at him, but he looks away.

He doesn't say anything else after that, but I get the memo. So, I go to the front door and put my shoes on.

After I finish double tying the laces, I look over and see that Ramelan already has his shoes on. It looks like he'd been working up the courage to ask me.

Adorable.

As we head out of the door, Mrs. Kirana tells us to be back before noon. Ramelan slams the door, and we're on our way. I look over at him. His ears are bright red.

Since the shop is only a few blocks away, we can take our time walking. I can't think of any small talk, so we just walk in silence. I can't stop replaying our fight over and over again in my head.

I feel like I'm going insane.

Why aren't we saying anything?

When we finally reach the store, I feel like I ran a marathon. I look at Ramelan. He's completely unbothered by everything.

Am I the only one overthinking things?

I have so many questions for him, but he just walks up to the front desk and asks for a seat. The hostess leads us to a patio seat for just two people. The table is wobbly.

"Why'd you want to hang out with me?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Just 'cause." Well, that isn't a very helpful answer. I sigh and try again.

"Why'd you want to get klepon with me?"

"Because I wanted klepon and you just happened to be there." Bullshit. Fine, if that's how he's going to be. I start to open my mouth but Ramelan beats me to it.

"We should hang out more often," He says, catching me off guard.

"Oh? Well, you should ask me out more often." I say, smiling at him.

"Should I?" He won't meet my eyes.

"Yeah." Then I realized what we were talking about. "Wait, wait..." I flail my arms in front of my face. "Oh, wait! I didn't mean that I was asking you out or anything! I swear."

A waitress appears in front of us.

"Hi, guys!" She smiles at us and hands us two menus. The menus are tiny. They're about the size of my hand. "What would you like to drink?"

I think about it for a second. "I would like water, please," Ramelan says first.

"Me too," I say, nodding along with him. The waitress jots it down on her clipboard and dashes off.

As soon as the waitress leaves, Ramelan starts where we had left off.

"Well," He says, his face deadpan, "I am."

"Wha– But you have a girlfriend," I say, my mind freaking out. Who knew Ramelan could be so straightforward? It's almost laughable.

"No, I don't. I broke up with her after we had that fight," He says, not meeting my eyes. The memory seems to make him sad.

"Why?"

It took Ramelan a second to gather his thoughts.

"I– I didn't love her." He whispers.

"What? But— that doesn't make sense. Why would you date someone that you don't love?"

"It's easy. Just suppress your real emotions and act."

"That doesn't sound easy," I say, fiddling with my fork, "I don't think I could do that."

Ramelan shakes his head, "Yeah, I don't think you could." Then, a bubble of laughter escaped from his mouth. He bent over and started to giggle uncontrollably.

"Hey, do you want to go out with me, too, or am I imagining things?" He says, wiping tears for his eyes. I hear him whisper "again" under his breath.

"What do you mean, again?" I lean in. Just then, the waitress breaks us apart by asking us if we were ready to order.

"Yes, thank you," I say, giving her my order and menu. Ramelan does the same, and the waitress disappears again.

Ramelan sighs. "We used to date a few months back. You broke up with me and disappeared. Then, you reappeared. You just appeared in the middle of class at your desk. No one said anything, it was like they'd lost any memory of you being gone. It was weird.".

"Is that why you knew that I wasn't Arron?"

"Partially, but also because you were different. I don't know what you look like, but I've memorized the way that you act. The way that you breathe. It was all different."

"Oh," I say. I don't know what to say to that. It all makes sense, but thinking that he knows all of the little things about me is kind of off-putting.

"So," I say, "when's the next time that you want to go out?"

"I don't know." He won't look at me again. We just had an intimate conversation and now he won't talk or look at me? So, I stop trying to talk to him. I can't believe what just happened. Everything goes by in a blur, and I'm scared that I'll forget this once again. The waitress gives us our klepon, but the silence between Ramelan and I is stifling. We eat, but for me, the klepon is tasteless.

We don't talk for the rest of the day.

I Dream again that night, and Farrah is there. She refuses to talk to me, and I know that trying to explain myself will make her even more mad at me. So I end up not saying anything.

We sit side by side on a hill overlooking most of Surabaya. It's far enough away from civilization that the creatures can't smell us.

I think.

The stars shine bright, but the city lights are even more intense. It's so beautiful. The lights are reflecting off of us. Yellows and blues, greens and reds. I've never seen anything so magnificent. I think that I prefer the city at night.

Farrah turns to me.

"I'm sorry for last time," She says, looking down at her hands.

"I'm the one that needs to apologize. I was rude to you even though you were just looking out for me." Farrah shakes her head.

"Let's agree to disagree," She sticks her hand out. "And we should stay friends."

"Of course," I say, shaking her hand.