A Year Later

Walking through the sands of Florida's beaches just doesn't feel the same as it did years ago.

The guys and I would be all in the sand for multiple reasons. Some with dirty intentions but we just wanted to play volleyball most of the time.

We'd travel all around Florida just to chill and beat out other people in volleyball. We stayed the champs of the sport and crushed everybody around the state. We were offered to be on leagues and stuff but we didn't accept because it felt like another obligation that we had to stick to.

In short, we just wanted to play the game.

Anyway, traveling through the different sands, I've realized that the surface is becoming more concrete or hard. The sand didn't feel natural anymore.

Maybe I'm still comparing ours to Hawaii's sand and remembering how divine their sand was. The different shades, the fine material, and rich waters. Hawaii was beautiful and everything was homegrown, natural.

However, you can't beat the place you grew up in. Although it was peaceful and nice, I was starting to get homesick.

I sit on the ground, with my toes in the sand, closing my eyes just to take in everything that surrounds me. Listening to the waves crash into the sand relaxes me. The salty, ocean air brings me peace. The sun's setting, creating miraculous shades of orange, pink, and purple. The sand between my fingertips consumes me and takes me back to my childhood.

Months have gone by and I miss my parents more each passing moment. Though Pops wasn't as compassionate as my momma, he still took care of me. He just did it in reverse.

I'd visit my momma and her husband every now and again. Every time we were all together, it was like she never left. I found that same comfort, I had in her as a kid, in her now as an adult. For every fragile moment I had, every regret, every problem, and mistake I made, she embraced me with love. So did her husband. We talked about almost everything under the sun.

The one thing we didn't talk about was her having breast cancer. I regret not being there for that but she never told me about it, about the fight she went through for years. Apparently, it was another reason why she left when I was younger and the reason she passed on.

Speaking of passing on, people act like they can't drive around here. They don't realize that they'll eventually kill somebody driving like this. Matter of fact, I remember a bunch of drunk partygoers crashed into Pop's truck, making it flip over, and...

Well, you know the rest.

You never think about both of your parents dying in the same year until it actually happens. That cut me deep and there was nobody there to confide in, nobody to comfort me in my time of despair. I had a dark moment and locked myself in my apartment for the longest time.

Despite how Pops treated me, I still respected him and cared for him. He taught me how to be the man I am today by showing me how to not be one.

All in all, it still hurts not having my parents around. I don't even speak to any other family members on either parent's side of the family. Again, I felt like I was by myself. The only person I had was Mom's husband and he helped me decide on what to do with their bodies. Cremation was the only way to go.

They say that when the sky is painted with those beautiful colors, it means that special person that passed, is trying to communicate with you. I hope that they know how much I miss them and how I plan to make an impact in their honor.

Momma would say that a slight breeze against the face is a small kiss on the cheek from somebody that's passed on. I'm pretty sure that slight breeze, that just hit my cheek, is Momma.

The thought brings a smile to my face as I look over at the lonely volleyball net. The breeze makes the net swing a bit. The volleyball digs itself into the sand, waiting for me to pick it up.

I get up, grab it, and practice hitting it, trying to get my game back.

Since the guys moved, I don't play too often anymore. It's not fun playing by yourself and it's as if the game has died around here now. Nobody wants to play anymore.

Cam and Ryke are supposed to come back down in about a week, so I gotta brush up on my game. I plan to kick both their asses when they come back.

Cam may be too lovestruck to do anything. He and Cassidy moved to Atlanta to start their lives together. Cam's a principal at a high school while Cassidy's an editor for a popular black-owned fashion magazine. Cam talks all about making a change within the school system and helping underprivileged areas around Georgia. He's starting at the place he resides in.

Anyway, while they come down every once in a while, Ryker and Darian do the opposite. They're all the way up in New York, staying busy. Darian's a sports influencer and Ryker's a professional trainer. Ryker may not be as lovestruck and he stays focused so I may have my work cut out for me in a game with him.

Speaking of busy people, there's days where I wonder what could've been with Kyra. What would happen if I chose to forgive her for her antics and stayed with her. I get hurt all over again, after thinking about that, but I am happy for her overall. She's a successful, Emmy-nominated actress who's still married to that foolish accountant.

She used to call and check in with me but, after a while, I realized that was disrespectful to Davin and to my family. I still watch them on TV and laugh to myself, remembering that I was in the same place as Davin is now. I don't miss that life. No more cameras, secrets, spotlights, nor many eyes all on me. However, Mr. Accountant gets pissed about all of it and you can see it in his eyes on the show.

Since I don't speak to Kyra anymore, it means I don't get to speak to Safari either but I guess it's for the best since she's not mine. I miss that sweet little girl wholeheartedly. If I ever bump into her, I hope she still remembers me and isn't mad at me for not fighting harder. I had no choice but to let go.

I guess the good thing that came out of all this mess is the attention I get from poetry slams. There are still a few people that ask for pictures or questions about my divorce but they're easy to dodge now. It's still support and influences other people to come see me. I'm earning more money from these contests and shows as well. I even write songs for new, up and coming artists now.

I may not be the breadwinner of my household but I can pay most of the bills, making me feel better about myself as a man. I can finally provide for my household and do what I love at the same time. I find so much harmony in knowing that.

The volleyball lightly taps my head and I turn to see who hit me upside the head, giving of an angry look. My face relaxes and I chuckle at who stands behind me.

"One-on-one game, Dad?"

"Let's see what you got, boy."

****
Well, we're almost to the end. Last chapter is tomorrow.

So, what do y'all think about Tripp's outcome? Do y'all think he had another baby by Kyra or got custody of Noah?

He seems happy but is it because he's not alone?

We'll figure all that out tomorrow in our last chapter of All to Me!

See ya then and thanks for driving down this never-ending road with me!