A grown ass man should never cry over another grown man taking care of his kid...

But here I go.

I step inside, feeling like shit. Nose leaking of mucus, eyes all puffy, and my body's weak....

All over another man taking care my first boy, my first kid, MY child.

Guess that guilt hits hard as time goes on. No matter how you try to flip it, it's sick as hell and the worst feeling in the world.

Do I want everybody else to know that though?

Nope.

I don't even feel like talking to her but if I didn't say anything to her, she'd keep pestering me and I ain't got time for that either.

My eyes catch Kyra sitting on the couch, waiting patiently in a peach-colored jumpsuit with her light brown hair covering her shoulders. Of course, she's dressed up around all these damn cameras, playing it up for the audience.

"Cut the cameras now! My husband's not well and I don't want people to see him looking like this." She rushes over to me and grabs a box of tissues.

As the crew ensures that all the cameras are off, Kyra's wiping my face with the tissues and studying my face. I get a whiff of her scent and she smells so good, like a bunch of fresh Georgia peaches.

"What's wrong, babe? You look sick. Lance, can you grab my medication box from my makeup room, please?" She says as the raging fire in my heart grows.

That damn 'makeup' room is supposed to be a guest room for when our friends or family comes over. Instead, she turns it into her own personal paradise when she wants to be left alone. There's two other rooms and they're for her family when they come over, especially her sisters.

"I'm cool, babe, but what's with the cameras? When I texted you, I meant no cameras." I sniffle as the director walks up to us, mid-conversation.

Standing there confused, I turn my head to him as he says his stupid shit.

"Kyra, this is actually gold. He comes home from a late night out 'with the guys' while you wonder where he's at? You both get into it before he starts crying and begging for you to forgive him? Then we leave it at a cliffhanger? That's perfect! Play it up. This is good."

Fuck all that. I ain't putting on a show and looking even more stupid than I already look. The shower's calling for me anyway. Let Kyra talk to the director.

I ain't playing up shit. For what? I don't need Kyra's permission to go anywhere or do anything. So, why would I be crying over that?

There are just some things that I have to accept. It's getting hard to get used to, hard to think about. But these things also happen for a reason.

I wasn't meant to be in that boy's life for a reason. Dude taking care of him for a reason. Who am I to stop God's work?

But how the fuck did she expect me to not worry about that guy?

Nah, I ain't getting into all of that. I want nothing to do with him nor her.

Especially...her.

Too many feelings, issues, grudges, and baggage. It's all toxic shit. I'd rather leave it all in the water and move on with my life.

Speaking of water, I hop up in the shower and the water burns my skin instantly. All the stress, the guilt, pain, agony, and depression are being washed away.

This is my time to think things over and ease my mind. It's like every shower I take is a chance to start over and step out a new man. Then, I come out from the shower and it all hits me at once, reminding me of the man I once was...

Well, am.

I just want to go back to a time when I was just young, dumb, and having fun with the guys. Having shortcomings is part of the human experience but they never impacted my life like they do now.

I miss the sand, the ocean, the sun, the volleyball games, the parties, her-

Damn it, not again.

Fuck it. I even miss her ass. The way her skin felt against my fingertips, the way her dark skin glowed every time my eyes glanced at her, her natural smile, her scent, her goofiness, and everything else about her.

If I had to choose the perfect summer of my life, that would be the one.

Fuck all these trips around the world, the awards, TV shows, and luxurious lifestyle. That simple moment in the sand made the perfect summer for me.

See, simple stuff makes me happy. I'm not a hard guy to please.

We haven't been back to the beach in a while. The last time we were there, it was a set for Kyra's photoshoot on some popular magazine.

My head rises, letting the water hit my face. A couple of salty tears wash away with whatever else was on my face. Could've been clown makeup for all I know.

"Hey, mind if I step in on your shower for a minute?"

I wipe my face and turn to see Kyra's naked and slim body and her lips curl up at me lightly.

Though this is supposed to be a solo shower, why not let her hop in? If she's expecting anything more than showering, she should leave before she starts.

She steps in behind me, her arms go around my torso, and her head rests on my back. I hear her overdramatic sigh before she says "I know you hate all of the cameras, the flashing lights, paparazzi, and all. That's what I want to talk to you about."

This better not be her telling me to just get over it. If I had a dollar for every time she's told me that, two for when we were in public, I'd be a millionaire.

"Listen, I know things haven't been perfect between us. With me booking jobs back-to-back and you working with...other stuff, we don't have much time to spend together. I know you're not up for the swanky shit and you want to explore. You're adventurous."

She moves around and sets herself in front of me, making her face visible and her hands go to my backside. I'm too busy taking all this in because it's been years since she's touched me like this. I'm talking back in high school. This is how we began making Safari.

If she keeps on, she might get a boy out of me.

"That's why I think it's a good idea for us to get away for a while. We can send Safari with Momma and relax as a couple."

Sounds like a plan to me. Back to our beginnings, Clearwater Beach. We'll have a great time and possibly make another baby. She's trying to make our relationship better and I appreciate the effort.

"Let's do it then." I say before she gives me the brightest, sexiest smile.

We lock lips while washing each other. As hard as I am, I can't give it to her. My energy is low and I can't perform well like this.

"I love you so much, baby," Kyra says with her head against my chest.

"I love you too, babe."

I love holding her close to my chest. We're growing closer and that's all I've ever wanted. Maybe our marriage is taking a turn for the better. We deserve to be happy together.

While I cut off the water, our lips stay together and move in sync. I feel a bit of passion flowing from the kiss until Kyra stops us. She grabs my hand and I open the shower door to a few cameras filling up the bathroom.

"Cut! That was brilliant, Kyra. I like the turn of events! Now, it's time to get ready for Hawaii!"

Hawaii? Who said anything about Hawaii?

Ah, hell naw.

****

What's up y'all!

Wow! Tripp don't know what he wants, does he? Or is he just in denial?

And he mentioned someone special that he misses. Could it possibly be Journee?

Im gonna try to update more. I promise but my job has been kicking my ass lately. I'm sorry.

Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed the chapter! See you soon! Thanks for reading!