I'm trying to enjoy the last few hours of this vacation before our early flight in the morning.

Sitting on my blanket with the sun touching my skin, I think about that flight.

I came here with Davin but there's no way I can fly back home with him.

Well, maybe there is if I sleep the entire time but he could still bother me if he's sitting beside me. He still thinks that we're going to be together after all this.

If I can't sleep in the same room as him, how will flying beside him work?

Maybe I can sit in a different seat than him. Maybe they'll let me sit away from him and give a really good excuse.

Oh, maybe I can catch a flight at a different time.

Nope, that would be a waste of money and I'm not using his money anymore.

I've learned my lesson on spending another man's money out of revenge. He didn't get mad at me nor care. In fact, he used that to push the idea of him still being in love with me. He used this as a reason for us to stay together.

However, I still felt guilty because I was frustrated and I wanted revenge. His money is not the reason why I married him and that gave him a reason as to why he's the greatest husband alive.

His words, not mine.

This baecation has been the worst singles' trip ever. It's been a true disaster. What Cass thought would be a great time turned out to be a terrible train wreck.

No one expects to go on vacation married and come back as a single woman, especially if you have kids with that person. Who wants that?

Who wants to find out that their partner is cheating on them with their ex's spouse? Who wants to be ignored and undervalued by their spouse? Nobody wants to be chosen over somebody else when they should be their spouses priority. I'm not an option.

Now, I'm stuck going through steps for divorce. So much for a few peaceful hours on the beach. I'm not supposed to be working right now. I was told to keep my work back home. Now, I have no choice but to work while on vacation.

Maybe going to the beach, any beach, is a bad vacation to go on for me. It's so easy to tell someone not to worry about this when you're not the one going through it.

I can act as if this doesn't hurt me all day but it still does. I hate putting on a brave face in front of everyone and crying inside.

I'm back to being a single mom, looking for some peace of mind. Another baby daddy on my list.

This is not what I wanted. This is not the life I wanted for myself, single with two kids by two different men.

I should've never said anything to either of them. I should've stuck to my guns and stayed single. It may have been the pressure from Cass and Darian finding love there. I'm not usually one that falls under pressure so how did I let this happen?

I was never easy to impress. Guys barely stayed on my roster because there was no one I liked anywhere I went. My life was more important and I wanted to be successful before dating anyone just for this reason. I wanted to owe no one nor have anything held over my head.

I knew about this new-aged dating life and still set myself up for failure.

Everyone deserves to be happy, live the life they always wanted to live, and have everything they've ever wanted.

Unfortunately, life can change and you can't get what you want anymore. It manipulates what you've had planned for yourself and change everything. All you can do is just go with it.

How do I tell Nyla and Noah that Davin and I are getting a divorce? Nyla may be really upset because she loves Davin. They would read a book together before going to bed, go out on father-daughter dates, and attend school events together until he started doing dirty shit.

Noah, on the other hand, could probably care less. He misses his biological father too much. He and I miss that man.

I never pictured my life going like this. My mom and dad had a wonderful marriage. They went through so much shit but they still loved each other. They never cheated on each other but they had financial problems, really heated arguments, and more.

However, they never forgot what was really important: their marriage.

That's what I wanted. It's what I thought I saw in Davin.

Then again, that may not be it. It could've been me being butthurt from what Tripp did to me.

Either way, all I wanted was a successful marriage, a marriage filled with love, happiness, truth, and passion.

Tears are flowing down my face as I think about the failed relationships I've had in my life. I feel so used but I can't help but blame myself for throwing myself in these relationships.

Ever since that night with Tripp, I haven't heard from him, realizing that he's made his choice. He wants to repair his marriage with Kyra and I can't get in the way of that. If that's what makes him happy, I can't stop him.

No matter how bad I want to hold him, touch him, love him, and be that woman in his life, I have to let him go. Pleasing him with just the slightest touch, passionate words, and my raw emotions is what makes me happy.

I wish I never agreed to spending time with him, being his 'friend' as we figured out how to deal with our failed marriages.

It was like we never left each other, like we never married other people. It was like being in love all over again.

I was in love with him all over again because our connection was so strong. I didn't want to be his friend. We aren't meant to be just friends.

Maybe I read him wrong. It's my fault for falling for this shit again, letting it get to me.

As far as Davin goes, I hope he's happy with whoever he ends up with. It could be any of the women he's eyed since being married to me. What he's done to me, he'll do to Kyra or whoever he ends up with.

Though I feel manipulated, it's my fault for letting my guard down and giving him another chance. It's my fault for using him to rid myself of the past pain.

Little advice: Don't date someone just because you're hurt from your past. Heal first.

Instead of acknowledging that hurt, I buried it and hoped that it would just go away while settling for someone I used to date, convincing myself that he was the man for me.

I just didn't want to be sad and depressed anymore but that only made my sadness and depression worse.

Truth is, Davin and I weren't meant to be together in the first place. We were just using each other until we could find something better.

Tripp didn't even say anything to me though. He fell in love with his high school sweetheart as I was trying to rid myself of all the memories, the feelings, the dreams, and everything else that came with him. I opened my heart to him, thinking there'd be another chance for us.

Lying to myself once again.

I don't want to call my dad on this one. He would probably say the same thing I just said but try to coddle me in his arms like a little girl. He wants to see me happy all the time.

I just have to get over it sooner or later. I'm grown so I'm going to deal with this on my own. Dad can't save me from this one.

Right now, I just want to cry my feelings out and get myself prepared to go home single. Maybe it'll be good to go back home like this.

No more Tripp, no more Davin, no more men.

Just me, myself, and my kids.

****

And if you thought that was the end, you shouldn't lie to yourself!

We've got two more chapters this week! I can't wait to see what you guys think of the book all together!

Let me know what you think will happen at the end. I'll say that it won't be what you expect. That's all I'll say.

Or maybe it will be if you know how I write.

Either way, I hope you've enjoyed the story! Please don't forget to vote, share, and comment!