He left me.

Tripp left me.

Those three words make me shudder inside because I didn't want him to leave. I know why he had to but damn. He left me wanting more.

This can't be over.

We exchanged our true feelings for each other, agreeing that we want each other again. We didn't have to say a word. We understood each other through our actions; how we touched each other, how our organs went into overdrive, how everything around us became blurred. We were focused on each other.

"Babe?"

I come back from my little fantasy and I'm annoyed. Here we are, listening to Davin say something about our marriage and making all these empty promises again.

I was expecting for him to still be with Kyra so Tripp could've stuck around with me. No sex, of course, but a ton of cuddling and possible kissing. Oh, his kisses are magical and unforgettable. Those, alone, make my heart race. With every fiber of my being, I will-

"Did you hear what I said?" Davin asks, interrupting me again.

Honestly, I'm too tired to even remember but I nod as if I did.

As I yawn, he continues with "Alright, babe. That thing with Kyra was nothing. She was lying on me, trying to trap ya man. But I know what I got at home and I'm not trying to let you go. It was just a one-time thing. Okay?"

I nod again, yawning at what he just said. All of it has no meaning behind it and he's already proven that he doesn't mean that so I could care less.

"When we get home, we'll go back to our regular lives and be tight again."

My eyes furrow at the thought of going back home with him. Who wants to go through what I've been going through? I didn't want to do it the first time. What makes him think that I want to do it again?

"Yeah, there's no way in hell that we're going back home as husband and wife. We may go back as separated, until we figure this divorce thing out, but not married."

I have a plethora of reasons. I've already had to deal with his ex-wife, his disrespectful son, and now new girl's bullshit when it came to Tripp. Now, he wants me to fight her just to keep him around? Yeah, she can keep his sleazy ass.

Not to mention, I refuse to go back to a life of depression, pleading for his attention, and fighting a battle that's not even needed. The snow bunnies and famous reality tv stars win.

I don't want to be ignored or feel like I'm not important.

I never thought about this but I was putting my pain into drops of alcohol and waterfalls of longs showers everyday. There's no point.

"Journee, don't be playing with me. Things will be better. I can do what you whatever you want me to and be there for you. Plus, do you really want to do this to the kids?"

Absolutely.

Nick could care less about Noah and me. He doesn't really care for Nyla either. In fact, he's been bullying both of them for a long time now. It's meant for them to be separated. My kids will not be treated like outsiders and will be loved no matter what. They will be fine.

Plus, he's got another baby by Kyra. He can focus on that one and get to know her. Hopefully, he still makes time for ours.

I get up from the couch and make my way to the balcony. I'm tired as hell but Davin's keeping me up with his bullshit.

I'm afraid he'll try to touch me if I got in that bed. I don't even want to share the same space as him, much less the bed.

I sigh into the open air and watch the waves of the ocean crash into the shore. The waves grow bigger and hit the sand harder, sending sirens through my mind. The waves become bigger at night and calm down when the sun is out. Why is that?

Davin presses his body against my backside and I push him away, walking around him.

"Journee, it was only-"

"No. No, it wasn't. Why does it even matter? You've found your person and I've-"

Wait...

I'm interrupted by my thoughts and troubled in my spirit.

Have I really found my person? What happens if I'm believing in something that just turns out to be a façade? What harm would it do just to stay single for a while? That's damage control right there.

Nope, because Tripp would still have control over my heart. He still has the key to it. I lent it to him and he never gave it back. I think I'm okay with that.

I've convinced myself that it's been the opposite everyday for the past decade. Being single wouldn't change my feelings for him at all. They'd still be there.

I feel more confident in my words and say "You know what? I've also found my person."

Davin's eyes widen and chuckles at the thought. I'm smiling at the thought of Tripp being my person. I feel that in my soul.

"Are you for real, Journee? That punk ass nigga that left you high and dry when you needed him the most? The same nigga that was 'too scared' to hit you up because of me? The same fuck nigga that wouldn't see his child because you were with me? Is that what you really want, Journee? Think about that for just a second."

I can't lie; he is speaking facts.

What happens if I have to visit Davin again? He still has to see his daughter and I can't keep her from him. What if Tripp freaks out again because of that?

Tripp also has a low self-esteem, thinking that he's not as successful as other guys. He thinks he's not as good-looking or manly like them.

That's what stopped him from talking to me the first time, ruining our relationship. I needed a friend, at the time, and he wasn't there so I leaned onto Davin.

"Look, Journee. A real man wouldn't do that shit to you. He would be there for his kid, regardless of how he feels about the guy his baby mama is with. Is that what you want, Journee? A weak little boy that cries when he feels threatened by a real man? Come on, now. Quit playing with me."

Who wouldn't want a real man that's strong in his stance? A confident man that knows how to work a room and isn't fazed about what another man is doing?

Looking into Davin's eyes, I give him another chance until I realize that he thinks he's this kind of man. He's thinking this is what I want.

I don't want a man who has a bigger ego than the orange man himself.

Matter of fact, this same 'man' is poking out his chest right now. Those fuck boy eyes are attempting to lie to me. Nothing about him has changed and I don't see him changing just from the look in his eyes.

Our marriage won't be any different when we go back.

I turn away, walking towards the bedroom, and say "I'm sleeping alone tonight. Enjoy the couch."

****

Well, I'm glad you've made it this far in my tornado of a book! Lol

I just want to say that there are only a few more chapters left and want to see how you all are feeling about the book.

What do you think will happen next?

Do you want to see spin-offs of this series? (Like hearing from their friends)

That's all I wanted! See ya in the next chapter!