"Hey, babe. I'm off to hang with Cam. We'll be at the beach. Don't wait up, okay? Love ya."

He kisses me on the forehead and rushes out the door, leaving me sitting here. My anger rages at his words, knowing what's really going on and where he's actually going.

There's so much I'd do for this man and to know that he wouldn't do the same breaks my heart. How am I supposed to feel? Am I supposed to be glad that this dirty bastard doesn't want me back? Mom would always tell me to stay sad but to not stay there.

How am I supposed to react to 'Don't wait up'? I wonder how I would feel if I didn't know what was going on and he actually spent time with me. Maybe I'd be blinded by all the foolery he's causing right now.

And he's so stupid because he doesn't even know that Cam's going with the rest of us to this whale watching event. Not to mention, Tripp called and said Kyra was 'going to work', at the last minute, again.

That's the one thing I didn't have to worry about when I was with Tripp. He never-

Oh shit. There I go again.

Well, let's put all the cards on the table. I still have a few feelings for that man still. We already know that but they seem to get stronger the more I see, talk, and think about him. If there was one thing I knew Tripp wouldn't do, it was cheat on me.

For some reason, Tripp has that-

I mean, had.

Tripp had this type of personality that you couldn't walk away from. His heart was filled with so much love and, once I put my trust in him, that love showed up and showed out. It was real love, so sweet and smooth, and I had a peace of mind. I knew that he wanted no one else but me because he showed me everyday...until I left Florida.

His lips dripped with honey, his words were filled with passion, his body language was tempting, and that mind of his was the mastermind behind all of it. I was happy to be entranced by him. There was no shame or regret with me.

I hate that I have to keep my mouth shut and pretend that Davin and I are in this loving marriage, as if everything is perfect still.

Where do I go from here? I'm back to being a lonely, soon-to-be single mother with two kids by two different men. One who couldn't give two fucks about me and the other one....

I don't know what's going on there.

I want to be a great mother to my kids but I also want consistent love in my life. I want security and happiness with the one I'm with. I'm still young and can have that type of love but it may take a while before it comes.

Maybe I should just clear my head and forget about Davin cheating on me, numb myself to this whole situation, and pretend that none of this happened. That should help mend our marriage and keep us together.

Nope, that's just lying to myself and, the more I lie to myself, the more I'll stress myself out and put myself though more pain.

I'm just gonna have to be the best mother I can to my kids and fine some me time throughout this new chapter in my life.

Once I get in the shower, I get a phone call from my dad. I answer it through my waterproof speaker in the shower.

"Hey, Dad. What's up?"

"Hey, baby girl. How's that couples' retreat going? Was it worth giving my boy a break?" He asks with so much energy. Typical dad.

Terrible and absolutely not. At this point, he should've just stayed at his job with his snow bunny assistant.

Taking a deep breath, I fake a smile and say "It's going excellent, Dad. I'm falling more and more in love with Davin and we're learning more about each other."

That's a straight lie from hell. God's about strike you down, girl.

If Dad knew what was really going on in our marriage, he'd fire him on the spot. No matter how pissed I am at him, he doesn't deserve to not have a career. Davin actually loves working for my dad. I can't take that away from him.

"Well, I'm glad you guys are having a great time and happy because I've got some not-so-good news..."

My eyes widen as I keep my ears open for this news. Could he be sick or something? Is his business compromised? What's really going on?

"Unfortunately, I have to fire Davin..."

I'm standing here in complete shock. How in the world does Davin get fired from this job that he loves so much? What could he have done?

"Some of our numbers were not adding up and we found that money was being pulled from company accounts. The only two people that had access to it was him and myself. I can't steal money from myself so..."

Davin's dumb ass smuggled money from Dad's company. Damn it...

Why did I marry someone so stupid?

No, I'm the stupid one for not paying attention to the signs. He kept saying he was getting increases and buying all this fancy shit. Tax time was the absolute worse time and I should have caught his ass then, talking about how he got a bonus check from the government. Since when does the government keep giving out bonus checks for those that possibly make more money than they do?

"He created fake statements just to save face and we found these documents on his desk. I'm sorry, Butterfly. Hopefully, he can find another place to work..."

If he can lie on a job that he loves so much that he put over his wife, he can definitely lie to his own wife. Things seem to be going downhill for little old Davin. I'm not even worried about his job now...

"It's ok, Dad. I'm sure he'll figure something out."

Yeah, just like he has over the past couple of years. He's figured out why he can't touch me, love me, or look at me. He can figure something out for this too.

"Well, I know you didn't want me to call him while on vacation so I'll just save the news for him when he comes back. I just wanted to share that with you so that way you aren't shocked."

Ha! Go ahead and call him. I want to see how he acts for the rest of the trip. More than likely, he'll just cry because he got fired by my father. He'll beg and plead for me to ask Dad for his job back. Do I really have that much power?

Hell nah.

It's sad to hear all of this and it'll be even more sad to see how Davin reacts after that phone call. However, my dad comes first and Davin manipulated him. He used him as he did me and that's just inexcusable.

"Well, I hope you guys continue having a great time. I'll say that your mom would be so proud of you, love. She's probably smiling down at you right now, seeing everything you've accomplished."

As I'm in the middle of washing my legs, I look up to my speaker and my heart slowly sinks into a dark place.

Mom always knew what to say in times like these. She gave the best advice. She'd tell me that I owe the world nothing. She's also said that life will bring you down, sometimes, but it'll treat you better once you get up because it fears your determination and drive to keep on living.

Every time I felt sad, she'd wipe away my tears and hold me until I felt better. I bet she'd do that right now. She'd also write poems about me and share them. Once I grew up, those poems were meant to inspire me.

Unfortunately, Davin left them in the apartments that we moved from. They were sitting in our storage unit, in this wooden box. I couldn't find it anywhere once we moved into the new house. Finally, Davin just admitted that he left it there.

I begin to cry silently while still in the shower, swallowing my own sadness because Dad's still on the phone.

"Thanks, Dad. I love you and will see you when I get home," I struggle to say as I throw myself under the water.

"I love you too, baby doll. Keep your head up no matter what."

As soon as he hangs up, I finish my shower and find something to wear for this thing we're about to get into. I struggle to find something that looks good. If I'm going to be in public with Tripp, the least I could do is look darling.

A knock sounds at the door and I hurry to grab some clothes. I just choose to wear a two-piece, some sport shorts, and a shawl just to answer the door.

Upon opening the door, I find Cassidy in her sundress and sunglasses.

"Girl, I can't wait to go to whale watching! I can't believe we're all going out again. This is gonna be fun!"

Everyone else will be with their spouses while mine will be 'hanging with Cam'. Speaking of Cam...

"I thought you were on your way to hang out at the beach with my husband," I call out jokingly. Gotta get something out of all of this. My marriage was a joke from the start.

"Is that what he's been telling you? I mean, we only saw each other twice since being here," Cam snickers as Cass wraps her arms around him.

"Anyway, after constantly wanting to see each other, I had to give his ass the boot. It's like he wasn't considerate to you, as if this was a friends' retreat."

Watching Cam kiss Cass adds a bit of salt to the already open wound in my heart. Although they're nasty as hell, their love is like no other and that's what I want again.

"Alright, we get it. Ya love each other. Can we go now?" Ryker says coming up behind the lovely couple. He's holding Darian's hand with so much grace.

People really downplay hand-holding but it's so vital, especially in the world we live in today. We take hand-holding for granted and it's what makes two lovers become one. It's skin-to-skin contact and it brings warmth to the two lovers.

I can't help but feel like a fifth wheel now.

"No, we still have to wait on Tripp," Darian reminds us.

I forgot all about him for a minute there. Since he's supposed to be my date for this evening, I know, good and well, that this is going to be the most awkward date I've ever been on.

We hear a suite door open and I turn to find Tripp come out with a fresh haircut, an open beach button-up, and some tan khakis. I'm too focused on that bright smile that he's giving off to Ryker and Cam.

And I said I was going to dress up and shit. I look a hot mess...

It's like watching him in slow motion. Damn, he looks good.

"You ready to roll, man?" Ryker says, greeting Tripp with a quick handshake.

As soon as he confirms with Ryker, those chocolate brown eyes move over to me and his smile turns into a soft grin. I have no idea what my face was doing but I hope it wasn't a big ass smile. I'm guessing that he doesn't care to date me anymore. That's understandable.

"Only if J's ready."

He did not just call me J...again. I haven't heard him say it like that in so long. He's so smooth with it. I love it.

I'm too stunned to realize that everyone is looking at me and waiting on a response. Those defined abs of his have me mesmerized. They're more toned than they were when we first met. Kyra must keep him sharp.

Oh shit. I forgot about her.

"Let's do it," I say, taking a deep breath and escaping that unnecessary trance. I feel so guilty until Tripp's arm locks in with mine. All the guilt falls off instantly and I fall back into that trance with one deep smell of his cologne. It was the same one he wore when we first met.

The warmth of his body feeds mine and I'm enjoying every bit of this. He's as amazing as I remember from years ago. I don't want to let go.