Alright, here I go again. I'm feeling like shit again.

She pushes me away, just as she did back when, and I'm in the same place I was in then: my feelings. It's taking a toll on me and it shouldn't. She ain't my girl.

There's no reason to feel this way because I'm married with a beautiful child. I married Kyra because I love her and nobody can take her place...or so I believe.

I'm pacing the floor, thinking of ways to get my mind off my baby momma, and in comes Ryker with a look of anger. Not that this isn't his mood every day but his mood was completely different and his vibe was off. Somebody pissed him off so much.

"Aye, do you know where the hell my wife went? She said she'd be in the suite but I get there and and her ass ain't nowhere in sight. I've called, sent them texts, and hollered off the balcony, only for these random ass white people look at me like I done lost my ratchet ass mind. Nothing."

Now, he's pacing the floor as I was. This behavior is strange coming from somebody like Ryker. The busting through the door is typical Ryker behavior but this pacing around the floor, hollering off the balcony, and contacting anyone (much less a woman) multiple times is absolutely different for Ryker.

Also, Darian's usually right by his side because she helps Ryker keep his composure. Darian's a strong-willed woman who keeps Ryker in order and corrects him when he acts like he has no sense.

She could be trying to surprise him because their anniversary is in a few days, she could want some alone time for a few hours, she probably bumped into Journee and Cass and is spending time with them for a while. There's no telling.

Then again, Ryker came in like she just broke his heart. Let me try to call and see what's going on.

I grab my phone from the dresser and find her number. Once I get the dial tone, my eyes catch a concerned Ryker rubbing his face in stress and quickly wiping his cheeks, hiding his sensitive side.

I know this fool ain't crying. He never does.

"Listen up, Tripp. If you calling on behalf of your friend, I ain't talking to nah one of ya. Get somebody else to do it."

My eyes widen as I continue watching Ryker swiftly wipe his eyes and move away from the couch.

"Hey, D. Not trying to start anything. All I wanna know is if you're safe and alright. We were just worried about you because you didn't show up to the suite."

A long pause settles between the both of us as I make sure Ryker's okay. He's hunched over the railing of our balcony with his right hand over his forehead. Guessing he just needs more time to deal with his emotions.

"I'm cool. Just hanging with friends and chilling."

And by 'friends', I hope she means Journee and Cassidy. If she's speaking of any other 'friends' Ryke is gonna go berserk. You saw how he was about his last relationship. Mallory did him in pretty bad and that's how he became this insensitive, player-type kind of guy. He was all about hitting it, quitting it, and making all the pretty girls cry.

He must've seen something in Darian because he's never treated anybody this special, besides Mallory.

"Alright, I just want to make sure you good. Well, we hope to see you-"

"Right, right. 'Hope to see me soon' like ain't nothing going on between ya boy and me. Alright, Tripp."

And with that, she hangs up. Damn, she ain't ever did that to me. She gotta be super pissed off. What the hell Ryke do this time?

I meet up with him, at the balcony, and lean over the railing just as he was. He's watching everybody walk around and takes in a deep breath while shaking his head.

"Ryke, it sounds like your wife is pissed off. What you do now, man?"

Again, Ryker NEVER cries because he feels that's for two types of people: females and 'weak' niggas who never had their dads in their life. His words, not mine.

Anyway, something happened between him to be feeling like this and it's moving him in the worst way.

"Bro, ain't nothing happen. We just got into it over Mallory's fucked-up ass again and...."

He doesn't have to say anything else. Of course, Mallory's going to get involved and do something to ruin his happiness. She always does this and she's never disciplined for her actions. No matter what she does, she's always able to get out of it.

Now, let Ryker do the same thing to her...

Y'all know the rest.

"That bitch called me back-to-back, leaving stalkerish voicemails, and text messages. Talking about how she's pregnant with my kid..."

It's been so many years since Ryker's dated Mallory, you'd think that she'd move on.

"Anyway, Darian found out though my emails. You know that Darian's over my business emails. Well, Mallory kept sending fake DNA test results, pictures of the kid, and photoshopped pictures of all of us through that email. I don't know how she knew that Darian was over that but she knew to send it there because my personal email ain't get shit. My girl gotta be blind or some shit because she didn't see that shit at all..."

Mallory's gone absolutely crazy...

"So, she just brought it to my attention last night and we got into an argument or, as you would put it, 'exchanged a couple of words'. I told that woman, if she believed what she saw, she could leave me right then and there. The one time she does what I say, man..."

This is when Ryker starts sniffling and biting back his bottom lip to keep from crying again. I widen my eyes and smirk a bit just because he finally gets it.

"Anyway, she sends a text about an hour ago and said that she would be back in the suite later. Well, it's later and she ain't there, man. She is not fucking there and I ain't gonna chase her..."

Yeah, you can tell that Darian doesn't deal with disrespect or play games. If you fuck up once, that's the only time you're able to do so. She'll be gone after that.

"Then why the hell are you here?" I ask, folding my arms and watching him look away from me. He's wiping his eyes and rubbing them to stop the tears but he can't hide them.

He turns back around, lets out a deep sigh, and says "Bro, I'm here to stop myself. Once I come back and find out she's not there, I'm flipping over pillows, slamming doors, ruffling up covers, and throwing glass cups on the ground. Hell, I even flipped over a fucking table because I was so pissed. It was so bad that I had to march over here, man."

"So, basically, you had a temper tantrum and the only way you could stop yourself was to come to my suite. You make it sound like it's a bad thing," I say, feeling a bit offended.

"Aye, it ain't bad. It's just....well, you know how you are. You get all up in your feelings and understand them and shit. When you or somebody else is emotional, you understand and read them like they're a damn book. I had to get around somebody who gets women more on that level. Who else can do that besides you?"

I don't know how to feel about that. I could be offended but glad that he chose to come over and talk to me. Normally, he acts as if he's got it all together and lets his pride take over.

"Well, we can start off simple. Think about how you feel about her," I say.

He shakes his head, holding something back that just wants to come out.

"Fuck it. Man, Darian's got me in a fucking chokehold. That woman has me wrapped around her precious, tiny little pinky, the one with the colored heart tattoo on it. She's got me going insane. I'm out of my fucking mind because she ain't here-"

"Okay, but why are you feeling this way? Why is she making you lose your fucking mind over leaving the suite for a minute?"

A quick pause between the both of us and he just opens up with "That heart of hers is something else. Don't get me started on the way her brain works and that 5'3'' body is everything to me, man. It's like it's raining right now because the sun went away. That's the reason why I married her. You know how I am."

Never thought he'd get married, to be honest, but here we are. Bam! He finds someone he wants to be serious with.

He continues with "Every time she needs something or wants something, I'm at her beck and call because she knows how to keep me together like a puzzle. I'm like a fucking puppy that needs his favorite treat and follows her as she walks with it in her hand. I'm addicted to that woman. Sometimes, she makes me wanna pull a Mallory when she does this shit, man..."

"Well, let's not do all that. We don't need to bring her back up again. Maybe-"

Once we just start our conversation, the suite door opens and Kyra walks in with Darian right behind her.

Well, it's good to see Darian's okay but Kyra's the friend that she was talking about? Kyra, of all people? I thought she was supposed to be at work.

Maybe she got off early and met up with her or something.

"I believe this is what you've been looking for," Kyra addresses Ryker before she comes to me and wraps her arms around me.

This is no kind of hug. It feels like a cold embrace that I want nothing to do with.

Could it be because she lied to me?

Nah, she didn't lie; she just didn't tell you everything she was doing and you don't have to be up her ass about everything. She's a grown ass woman.

That's true.

Anyway, I watch Ryker and Darian sit on the couch and talk out their problems before showing each other real affection. A warm, tender kiss, a warm and lovely embrace, and the look of love in their eyes. Why can't I get that from Kyra anymore?

"Aye, we out! We'll see y'all later. And whatever just happened, didn't-"

Darian pulls Ryker out before he could finish. Looks like they'll be having a fun evening together.

Now, back to Kyra and me.

"Baby, I hate to tell you this but the director needs me back on set tomorrow but it won't be for long...unless something happens again," Kyra explains with her cold ass hands on my shoulders.

'Unless something happens again'? What happened before? Why are they keeping her busy so much?

"Maybe we can go eat somewhere special after," she finishes and kisses me on the cheek just to walk off, leaving me in my thoughts.

Busy, busy, busy. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm just here to fill a temporary space for somebody else to come in. Could our relationship be fading? Could we be falling for other people? Are we just using each other as substitutes for others?

No way. I like what I have now. Although, it can be stressful sometimes, I enjoy being around her and loving her. I married her for that reason. There's no reason to fall back now.

Anyway, I'm entering the room with positive thoughts of our relationship on my mind. My eyes glance over the bright light on Kyra's phone and I turn away.

That's Kyra's personal phone and we don't go through each other's business. However, it is just sitting on her bed, open and begging for me to look at it.

Nope. I refuse to enter Kyra's personal space because I trust her.

So, I grab some pants to sleep in and just so happen to throw myself in the bed. Her phone falls to the ground and I feel guilty so I pick it up.

Let's just say that phone was calling for me to look at it for a reason. You won't believe what I saw in it.