Chapter 11
"You happy now, J? You got your wish."
"Davin, you and I both know that Angie isn't going for all that foolishness. It was for the best."
"Woah, best for Nicky or best for you and Noah? Because Nicky would've been just fine in Angie's care."
That's easy for Davin to say. Angie barely knows Nick and, from what she does know of him, she wouldn't dare let that rude kid step foot in her yard. She doesn't like how he treats Noah and I don't either. Who knows what that kid would do to Noah? They need a break from each other.
Noah and Nick used to be best friends, loving each other like brothers should. Now, they're at odds, as if they were oil and water.
"How dare you just invite him to Angie's house like that? She barely knows Nick. Plus, what would his mom think about him being at a stranger's house?"
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Admit it, J."
"Admit what, Davin? No, matter of fact, why don't you admit it, Davin. Admit that you've been doing some shiesty shit lately. 'What she doesn't know won't hurt her'? What do I not know, Davin? What have you been doing that I don't know about-"
"NO, JOURNEE! That's not what we're talking about. Admit that you don't like my son because he's got a different mom. Really, you just admitted that you're jealous of his mom-"
"Jealous? JEALOUS, DAVIN?! Seriously? Who can really be jealous of that bitch?"
We're arguing back and forth while on our way to drop off Noah and Nyla at Angie's house. We just dropped Nick off back with his mom and, of course, she starts complaining about things that Nick had a problem with while with us.
"Do you hear yourself right now? Excuse me for fucking around with somebody else and having a child with them. Nicky is my son and deserves way more respect than you and Noah have been giving him-"
"Don't throw Noah into this. Your child, that came from Satan's asshole, has a problem showing respect. He doesn't struggle with receiving it. In fact, Noah shows him so much respect and love-"
"Says the one who's child wears my child's underwear. That's nasty as shit, Journee and you know that!"
"Because somebody has no problems picking up the finest underwear for his child but gives mine hand-me-downs and shit. Don't worry. I got Noah and Nyla. It's all good."
"Just like you 'had' Tripp ten years ago? Yeah, I'm definitely gonna trust you when it comes down to boys and men."
"I got you, didn't I?"
"Yeah, and you're about to lose me just like you lost that crap job that knocked you up ten years ago."
I hear a gasp in the back and my eyes turn to see Noah with his hands over his mouth. His eyes are watery as he looks between the both of us.
Davin stops the SUV abruptly at a gas station. Once we pull up to a gas pump, he hops out and slams the door. He marches into the gas station while I'm left in the car with Nyla crying and Noah holding back tears.
"Momma, he doesn't like me. He's so mean now," Noah says as he sniffles a bit.
Shaking my head, I think about Noah's thoughts and sit in denial. I don't want to believe that.
Just because we're mad at each other, doesn't mean Davin doesn't love Noah still. He treats Noah like he's Davin's biological child. There's no way his opinion of Noah has changed. Hopefully, I didn't help change his opinion of Noah. There's no way though.
"Noah, right now, we're both just stressed out. Davin still loves you. There's just so much going on that we've been taking it out on each other. Sometimes, we take it out on you guys and that's not right. Things will get better."
I turn back in my seat and my heart sinks. Noah wouldn't be able to understand what's happening right now.
As much as we try to keep things on the up-and-up, everything seems to be shifting for us. There's so much doubt in my heart about our relationship. It feels much like our relationship back in college.
As much as I'd hate for this to be the case, our marriage might be seeing its last days. We've been through way too much to just give up but there's some things you just don't do or say when you still have love for somebody.
Like bringing up Noah's father in that way and threatening our relationship.
Nyla's crying ceases and silence falls over the three of us. I decide to look out of the window and watch people walk around the gas station.
This young couple is found cuddling in the driver's seat, watching how much gas is going into their compact car.
The tall, tan-skinned man wraps his arms around his light-skinned beauty. He whispers into her ear as she giggles and closes her eyes with a smile on her face. Her manicured hands pet his rugged beard as he digs his face into her neck.
That young love is something else. It's fun, pure, and freeing. I miss it so much because you don't have to worry about a thing. It's just two people learning about each other and not just becoming lovers but becoming best friends. There's freedom and happiness in young love. You're not making a lifelong commitment to somebody yet...
Shit. Am I really over here contemplating my marriage right now? I love that man with everything in me. We may argue but he's still a great man.
I could be letting my preconceived ideas, about Davin's whereabouts, get the best of me and our marriage. Once you get the man you worked hard for, you have to work even harder to keep him. I just want to see him put in the same work ethic for me and our family.
Maybe I'm not giving him a chance like I used to.
"Momma, when can I see Dad again?" Noah asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I know exactly who he's talking about but choosing to be in-denial is the only suitable choice for me right now.
"You see him every day, honey."
"I mean my real dad, Momma. When can I see him?"
Hell, you may not ever see him since he stopped communicating with you.
Noah accidently saw his dad on tv last week. As much as he should forget about that man, he just won't. It's all he's been thinking about lately.
"Honestly, Noah, I don't know. He has to call you."
Another pause appears in our conversation and I'm watching this group of pale-skinned teens hop out the back of a pickup truck, laughing their asses off into the gas station. It's as if nobody else can hear these cackling hyenas being loud as hell.
"You must hate my real dad, do you, Momma?" Noah asks.
I could be honest about how his father is. How inconsiderate and dumb he really is. How stupid he looks in this reality show he's in.
And he seriously thought that he could do better by going back to his ex. If he don't look like her little groupie, I don't know what he could look like.
Forgetting all about our conversation, I hear Noah calling out for my answer.
What do I say to him though?
"I'll say this. Just because your father and I aren't on good terms doesn't mean we don't care about you. Really, that's the one thing we have in common. We love you so much and he knows how to get ahold to us if he ever wants to see you again."
And that's the end of that conversation.
I can't talk about that man anymore because there's nothing else to say. He chose the life he wanted and I got the life I wanted. We chose not to be in each other's lives and keep our distance. There's nothing else to talk about.
Noah thanks me while I wonder where my husband went to.
My eyes catch my struggling husband walk out with a few drinks in his hand and laughing with some teens that came from that pickup truck.
It took him that long just to get some gas? Guess this gas station is out of the question now.
It's been over an hour since he left the car all pissed off and shit. That must've been some line even though there's barely anybody here.
He opens the door and a whiff of a burnt 'bushes' swoops into the car.
I cross my arms and look over at him with scrunched eyebrows. He hops in the car and passes out drinks with so much excitement all of the sudden.
"Alright, y'all! Let's get to the airport! Hawaii, here we come!" he shouts as he starts the car.
Rolling my eyes, I open up with "I'm glad you're so happy now but I got a question for you, love."
"Anything, baby. What's up?"
After pausing just to think about everything, I finally say "Where's the gas, hun?"
His eyes are bloodshot and shoot straight to the gas meter, looking shocked. Then, he bursts into a hyena-pitched laugh like those teens that just left in their gas-filled pickup truck.
"Oh shit! My bad, babe. Let me go get the gas real quick. We're gonna get on the road soon!"
Yeah, we're definitely going to miss our flight.
****
Or will they? You never know. Davin could possibly finesse his way through the airport! He's pretty fine!
Anyway, tell me what y'all are thinking about?
Should Journee be feeling like this about Davin or is she doing too much?
We knew that Noah was going to ask about his dad sooner or later, right? Do you think Journee responded to Noah the right way?
Do you think Davin's doing some crazy stuff behind Journee's back....again?
Thank you for reading again! I'll see you guys soon!
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