TW:

- Someone gets stitched up and the process is just described in a little more detail, idk if that is triggering but I was grossed out when I researched it, seems like I can't become a doctor lol

-Person dies in a nightmare and it's described.

-Person cries because of nightmare

_____

Real Dazai follows Chuuya through the halls of one of the mafia towers. The tiny redhead is looking for him and since he isn't annoyed but rather giving up a nervous vibe the detective concludes that it's actually the memory where the older one apologizes. Dazai wants to relive the memory so desperately. The older teen was so sweet, way sweeter than his younger self deserved back then. Not that Dazai was complaining, hell no, Chuuya's apology pretty much marks the point in their partnership where they grew closer and he loved every second of it. He even liked the time he embarrassed himself because Chibi witnessed the impact of one of his nightmares. The embarrassment was totally worth it since, after that way too pathetic breakdown, they grew closer. Oh, and don't get him started on the impact their little weed session had. Dazai can barely remember it to be honest and it was so frightening for him because the one thing he always could count on was his memory. God, he was so fucking confused when he woke up with Chuuya's arms around him without remembering how that happened. But the older teen was reassuring that nothing out of the ordinary happened and insisted that he just figured out how touch-starved Dazai was through weed-increased honesty so the brunet believed him but he still fled the situation, just to receive a lecture from Odasaku about smoking weed. After that experience, Chuuya and him grew even closer with an added physical level and it was amazing. The older teen started to pull him close while watching movies, and whenever Dazai wanted to leave to go sleep in his container Chibi insisted that he should stay over. It started slowly, the older teen was suddenly always closer than he had to be, shoulders brushing, a hand on his shoulder or his back. He loved all those small and light touches. It was all under the impression that Chuuya thought Dazai was touch-starved and yeah, okay, maybe he was a bit but that didn't mean that Chibi had to make it his mission to kill him with affection. So, it was bittersweet because on one hand, Dazai just loved Chuuya's soft touches but on the other hand he felt terrible for manipulating the older teen like this. The redhead really shouldn't have to endure his pathetic antics to get closer and Dazai should've stopped it but he was so weak to the other's touch. How was he supposed to put an end to it, when Chuuya was the one who initiated it? Dazai was far too selfish and too happy about the way the redhead started to hold him close when watching movies. It suddenly stopped when he left the mafia. Obviously. It was worse than waterboarding to be away from the Chibi because he just came to realize how much they touched and he craved it so bad but Chuuya wasn't around and it was Dazai's own fault and—

"There you are!" Chuuya pulls him out of his thoughts as he grabs the wrist of his younger version. "Been looking all over the place for you."

"And I've been trying to hide but you're such a bloodhound that I didn't stand a chance," his younger version faked a sigh while crossing his arms as if he wasn't happy that the other kept looking for him.

"You knew I was looking for you and just decided to hide?! You're such an asshole! Why did you do that?" Chuuya wanted to know and the answer was easy: He didn't want to have to deal with an angry Chibi. Sure, the redhead was absolutely adorable when he was enraged but Dazai had a limit for being used as his punch bag.

"You wanted me out of your sight and when I go out of my way to grant you that wish you just stalk me," his younger self pretends to be annoyed by Chibi's behavior. "You're so indecisive."

"Indecisive? Listen here you- wait, that's not what I'm here for," the tiny redhead stopped his rant slightly shaking his head. "You're coming with me," his intonation didn't leave room for arguments but that never stopped Dazai before.

"I don't want to," an obvious lie of course he wanted to stay with Chuuya. Even if the older teen was still pissed at him, it had been really troubling to avoid the hat rack, but he thought the space might help them make up again. Odasaku thought so too.

"What a pity," Chuuya let him know while grabbing his wrist, "that you don't have a choice here."

"Chibi's such a brute," his younger version mumbled without trying to loosen the other's iron grip. It would be wasted energy anyway. "Do we have a mission or something?" He questions as the older teen leads him through mafia quarters.

"Yeah, something like that," was the mysterious answer. Real Dazai smiled while he followed them. He knew what awaited his younger self and it was so sweet of Chuuya to plan something like this just to make up with him again.

Real Chuuya smiled as his younger version opened the door to his room. Dazai started to bombard him with questions on the way here because the brunet hates not knowing something, which made his younger self answer in more cryptic ways just to tease the other a bit.

"Are you going to murder me now?" Dazai wants to know as he follows the older teen in the room. His younger version snorts at that. "I'm just saying that you're behaving very strangely right now and—" The words he wanted to say get stuck in his throat as he takes in the room. It was rather dark because Chuuya had to close the blinds so the fairy lights would shine brighter. The gravity manipulator just wanted to make his flat have the same energy the monthly parties held by the flags had. But damn, now that he saw it again, this made his flat look like he was ready to go down on someone. Real Chuuya looked around remembering how he used his ability to hang the lights on his ceiling. He also placed them on his kitchen table so they could prettily surround the cake that was standing in the center. The atmosphere the colorful little lights created was a cozy one, especially since the TV gave off a bit of light as well as Netflix started to show off their shows in the head banner of the Homepage. Dazai's gaze fell onto the TV and the couch and the dozens of fluffy pillows decorating the normally empty couch. Yup, if real Chuuya would step into a room like this with someone, he'd expect Netflix-and-chill... He definitely went overboard with it, no wonder that Dazai just seemed rather overwhelmed by it all. His mouth opened slightly as he gazed at the lights in the room. God, surprised and confused Dazai is just the cutest and his younger self is too innocent to realize how his decorated flat comes across. Dazai was weird in that aspect, he actually did have sexual experience but when Chuuya asks about it one time the younger teen made it sound like a chore? Like something he had to do and as Chuuya got older he just assumed the lack of actual interest is related to his depression. He never confirmed it though because he never wanted to talk about sex when the younger teen was so weirdly indifferent about it. It just didn't sit right with Chuuya.

"We didn't celebrate your birthday," his younger version mumbled, suddenly feeling shy because he feared the other wouldn't like the sentiment. Throwing a birthday party was the best way to end their stupid argument. Ane-san did agree with him on that but what if he just somehow made it worse? His younger self started to doubt the whole party idea. What if Dazai didn't want to celebrate his birthday because he wanted to end his life? "I know that Albatross was planning this big party for you and this doesn't live up to it in the slightest but I just thought you might like it and I know it's way too late for a party and..." Geez, his younger self just started to ramble on and on, nervously stumbling over his words because Dazai hadn't said a single thing. "...so if you don't like it I can just -you know- clean up and we never talk about it again, yeah..." Dazai was still staring at his surroundings in disbelief but at least this time Chuuya could hear his thoughts and luckily they didn't reach the Netflix-and-chill conclusion real Chuuya had while standing in this room. No, Dazai's thoughts were a loop of: He did all of this for me? This is so sweet, so utterly sweet, I always knew Chibi would be the end of me but this is— I can't. I just— this is— Why is he even— isn't he still angry? I don't deserve this. How can one person be this cute? How can someone plan this for me? I've been so stupid and he— I don't understand. Ha, seems like he made Dazai.exe stop working. Adorable. "Could you please say something? You're freaking me out!"

"I don't know what to say," Dazai sheepishly admitted, looking a bit lost. And that was a first. Dazai and his silver tongue not knowing what to say? Yeah, his younger self got the hint, or at least he thought he did.

"You hate it, don't you?" His younger version concluded, clearly dejected by that. "I knew it would be a stupid idea. Just forget this and—" He started to move to take down the fairy lights and start to clean up but he was stopped by Dazai's hand that lightly grasped his wrist, successfully turning his attention to the brunet.

"That's not what I said," Dazai corrected firmly, staring at the ground, and avoiding eye contact as he started to try to put his chaotic thoughts in words: "I just— I don't know how I should react because a 'thank you' doesn't seem to be enough and usually people don't go out of their way to do something like this for someone like me and the only person besides you who would've done something like this is dead and I don't— I just..." he stopped, not knowing where he was even going with that sentence. He lifted his gaze from the ground, looking in Chuuya's eyes with such an open expression that his younger version just drowned for a second. And as if that wasn't enough to cause a malfunction in his younger version's head, the brunet went for the kill with a whispered: "Thank you, Chuuya." They just stood there. Dazai, still holding Chuuya's wrist hostage in the weakest grip ever, while staring into his eyes as they both took a moment to reboot their brains.

"God, we're both dorks," real Chuuya comments on the scene in front of him with a half-hearted eye roll and a barely noticeable smile on his lips. His younger version seemed to wake up from his daze and carefully moved his hand so he slipped out of Dazai's grip with ease. That also seemed to get Dazai's brain running again, because he immediately looked to the side and now that Chuuya witnessed it again, he clearly could make out the slight adorable flush on his ears. Yup, Chuuya's really going to die from sugar shock and Dazai is the cause of it. "Can't believe we managed to dance around each other like that. It's almost impressive." But at that time his younger self didn't realize his own feelings so it was rather normal that none of them made a move. Chuuya sighed as he starts to remember what memories would lie ahead of him. It's going to get really fucking frustrating because they started to legitimately cuddle at one point in their unusual partnership and there wasn't an excuse why neither of them made a move in the next years that Chuuya's gonna relive.

"Don't get used to it, shitty Dazai," his younger version said, trying to make whatever weird atmosphere they had disappear. It didn't work since his voice was way too soft for the insult.

"No promises~" The younger teen sang teasingly, a big smile on his face. "So, what did you plan, hm?" He sounded so smug, especially with that damn grin on his face. But now Chuuya could hear his thoughts and knew the younger one was just overplaying how much this meant to him.

"Eh, I've got cake, booze, and we can watch movies," his younger self was so unsure back then, slightly embarrassed about his idea.

"That sounds lovely," the younger one said, sounding a bit dreamy, and then his thoughts caught on to what he said and how did it so he added: "You're such a good dog," just so he could feel at ease again as Chuuya lightly punched his shoulder.

"One more comment and I'll throw you out," it's an empty threat and they both knew it but it helped them to get over the somewhat awkward atmosphere that settled between them. His younger version moves towards the table, beginning to cut the cake.

"You're so mean," the brunet complained, following the older teen. "But you've bought cake so I'll forgive you this one time," he declared as if it's the nicest thing anyone could ever do. His younger self chuckled lightly.

"How generous of you," it's laced with sarcasm as he put a piece of cake on a plate to hand it to the demon prodigy.

"I know, I'm such a good citizen," Dazai responded deliberately ignoring the sarcasm with a big grin on his face as he took a bite of the cake. "Mhm, it's good~" he complimented "Where'd you get it?" He asked between bites as he just enjoyed the taste.

"Nowhere, eh, Ane-san gave me one of her recipes and I just followed the instructions," he shrugged his shoulders even if he was slightly embarrassed. Dazai's fork fell out of his grip landing on the plate with a loud clattering sound as he just stared at the other with wide eyes. Chuuya baked? For me?? What did I do to deserve this??? Real Chuuya grinned at those thoughts.

"You didn't plan to poison me, did you?" The brunet tried to cover his happy thoughts with the easiest and most effective way: start banter.

"No, I did not, you bag of bandages," Chuuya answered, angrily shoving a piece of cake into his own mouth. "As if I'd need poison to kill a weak piece of shit like you," he then mumbled, his mouth still full of cake. They just ate in silence and it's nice. The weird atmosphere that hung awkwardly in the air around them was completely gone after the few insults left Chuuya's mouth.

_____

Their younger selves were sitting on the couch while playing a very competitive round of Mario Kart. They made a bet because once his younger self realized that Chibi baked a cake for him, he selfishly wanted to get a baked cake from the older teen every birthday. So when the tiny redhead handed him his very late birthday gift and it turned out to be Mario Kart, he provoked the older teen to take the bet. The loser has to bake the winner a birthday cake every year. Chuuya -for some weird reason- also wanted a self-baked cake. Which was so strange because everyone knew that Dazai wasn't a good cook and especially not a good baker. Maybe Chibi just wanted to be excused from work for suffering from food poisoning. Real Dazai was astounded by the fact that Arahabaki was even letting him see this memory. It was a tooth achingly sweet one so it had nothing to do with suffering apart from the bitter thought that the older teen didn't bake him cakes anymore.

"Ha, you'll never be able to catch up to me!" Chibi announced happily, with a confident smirk that looked so nice on him. His younger self would've melted but the younger teen was focused on the screen, grinning as he used his ghost at the right moment to steal himself a blue shell, which he let go immediately. Yoshi was in first place and Peach in second but that would soon change as the blue shell started to swirl around the green dinosaur-like creature. "What?! How did you get a fucking blue shell in second place?!" The tiny redhead loudly complained as Peach passed by his poor Yoshi.

"It's all about timing~" His younger self let the older teen know in a singsong as his character reached the finish line, making him win the last race and thus their little bet as well. "And now Chuuya owes me birthday cakes for a lifetime!" He grinned as Yoshi crossed the chessboard-checkered line a few moments after him.

"I hate you so much, you cheater," the older teen huffed, which made Dazai's younger version chuckle. The confetti surrounding his character didn't seem to cheer the redhead up in the slightest.

"As if I'd need to cheat to win against a slow slug like you!"

"Slug? Whom are you calling a slug?!" Chibi barks, head turning in Dazai's direction fast.

"Oh my, it seems like your brain cells are also slow. A true slug," his younger version teased and the real Dazai just smiled at them. Right. The party was also the birth of their stupid nicknames. Chibi hit him and then turned his focus back to the screen, making an angry face because the other won the entire tournament. They had played five rounds and each of them won two so it was a rather close call. Chuuya seemed lost in thoughts for a while.

"If I'm a slug then you're a mackerel!" He suddenly spat out, turning his attention back to Dazai. "Because every time you're involved in something it's fishy, just like that blue shell!" He justified his decision as he let his controller slip from his hand and softly land on one of the dozens of pillows. Chibi really had to think hard and long to come up with that explanation.

"Mhm, whatever you say, slug," his younger version said with a smile on his face that turned into a grin as he looked at Chuuya. "How about we make this more challenging?" Chuuya lifted an eyebrow, curiosity peaked but still a bit wary of what's to come out of Dazai's mouth next.

"Suddenly it smells so fishy in here," the tiny redhead made a show of covering his nose but then he dropped the act to look at the other far too seriously. "What do you have in mind, mackerel?" He asked, awaiting the challenge that the younger teen would propose soon. Real Dazai is amused by the fact that both teens use the new nicknames almost in every sentence. It's quite adorable.

"Well, you said you had booze if I remember correctly. How about we turn our competitive rounds into a drinking game?" Dazai suggested, grinning at the older teen. Chuuya just stared at him for a few seconds, slowly blinking, then he shook his head with a small laugh.

"I'm in," he immediately stated after his laughter died down, "explain the rules." And his younger version did. It was rather simple: They'd drink anytime they'd use an item, anytime they're hit with an item, and anytime they get knocked off or drive off the road. While they're drinking they cannot drive because safety first, so they actually have to put the remote down to take a sip from their drink. Also obviously: The loser had to drink, not that that would be a problem for Dazai. Apart from those basic rules they made three additions: Chuuya's rule was that if one got hit by a blue shell the person had to stand up and spin around themselves three times and Dazai made it a rule that they'd have to take a sip from the other's drink if they used a star. They both decided that if one of them got a bullet bill the person using it had to drink for as long as the item was on the screen. While Dazai explained the rules, Chuuya got up to fetch the drinks, mixing them while discussing the rules with the brunet. They played for a while and Chuuya even won a few rounds but it didn't take long till Chibi was completely wasted. He couldn't even drive straight anymore, constantly driving poor Yoshi off-road. At the moment he was driving in the wrong direction.

_____

"Why's that stupid cloud-thingy in my way!" His younger version glared at the screen and Dazai laughed at him. It was his real laugh, the one he normally covered up but with the controller in his hand, he just turned away. Such a pity, not that his drunk self would've appreciated the view anyway.

"Because you're driving in the wrong direction," Dazai told him, clearly trying to stop laughing but failing endearingly.

"Oh," his younger version said and then turned around but he accidentally turned around 360 degrees therefore continuing to drive in the wrong direction. "You liar! The stupid thing is still there!" And Dazai beside him just lost it, laughing so hard he let go of his controller and hunched in on himself. His younger version saw it and suddenly he was laughing too. Both of them were unable to stop it and real Chuuya grinned, suppressing the laughter that wanted to escape his throat. It took a while for the uncontrollable laughter to die down, it took so long that all the other characters in the game had crossed the finish line already. Dazai just pressed the start menu to exit the race.

"Hey, I could've won!" The older teen claimed but it's not very convincing as he just lied on the couch, eyes almost falling shut, and Dazai chuckled.

"You're the perfect example that one shouldn't drive while being under the influence," the brunet commented as he continued to end the game, already in the game's main menu.

"I'd never drive while drunk," his younger version mumbled defensively into the pillow he pushed against his chest, arms surrounding it. Dazai smiled at him, turned off the Switch, and gently petted his head in a mocking way, but his younger version just melted into the touch.

"Of course not, Chibi is responsible after all," and even though it sounded like sarcasm, it's a sincere statement. And it's true: Chuuya never got behind the wheel of any vehicle if even one sip of alcohol was in his system. That would just be irresponsible (it also would be embarrassing to have a member of the portmafia be arrested because he was under the influence while driving) and he hates nothing more than someone causing damage and troubles that could have been avoided if that person didn't drive while being drunk. Hell, even Dazai didn't do that. Probably because he knew he was a terrible driver even without having to add anything to the mix and most likely because it would be a stupid way to die. "Seems like you should go to sleep," he suggested, removing his hand from Chuuya's head.

"Nooooo," and real Chuuya didn't know if the whiny word left his mouth because he mourned the loss of Dazai's hand in his hair or if he just didn't want to sleep. Maybe it's a mixture of both, maybe it's neither, who can really tell with his drunk younger self. But what he knows is that Dazai thinks his current behavior is adorable. "Movies," he demands.

"Really? You're going to fall asleep within the first few minutes. I should just leave, a slug like you needs their beauty sleep," with that Dazai started to move to stand up from the couch but he wasn't even able to fully stand as Chuuya's arms found their way around his torso pulling him back on the couch.

"You have to staaay, it's your birthday party," his drunk younger self argued, and honestly, Chuuya didn't remember it at all. "You even get to decide which movie we're going to watch." Dazai's mind is running wild because Chuuya's arms are still holding him and now that he's sitting on the couch again, the older teen is changing his grip and own position on the couch so that he's leaning against the brunet, arms still around him to keep him in place. Nuzzling his head between Dazai's shoulder and neck. Every tiny movement Dazai makes immediately results in Chuuya's arms tightening around the teen just like a snake hugs their prey to death. As if I'd move away from him, Dazai's thoughts provide alongside his mushy happy thoughts about the older teen clinging to him and real Chuuya grins a bit.

"Of course, I'm going to decide the movie, after all, you're going to fall asleep as soon as it starts," the younger teen teases, while reaching for the remote control to select something on Netflix. He isn't even looking, he just presses a few buttons until something random starts to play as his eyes are glued to Chuuya.

"I won't," his younger version mumbles and it's not very convincing because he already closed his eyes, arms tightening around the younger teen once more. Dazai just hums as his hand finds its way to Chuuya's head, carefully massaging his head and Chuuya relaxes with a sigh. The grip around Dazai's torso is not as tight anymore.

"Seems like the boa constrictor is tired, hm?" The brunet mocked and maybe Chuuya would've been pissed but he was already half asleep and Dazai's thoughts about how he'd happily die crushed by Chuuya's arms stopped real Chuuya from getting angry at that comment. His younger version mumbles something and it vaguely resembles 'shitty Dazai' and the younger teen chuckles. The demon prodigy watches Chuuya sleep, completely ignoring the Netflix show he put on. The TV light hulls them in flashing colors. Light blue and warm red lights highlighting their forms as they both continue to ignore the source of said light. The quiet voices from the TV are the only sound that echoes through the room until a slight snore accompanies them from time to time. For the first time since Chuuya successfully convinced Dazai to stay on the couch, the brunet stops looking at the older teen to pull out his phone. He opens a chat called 'Bagle Boys' and real Chuuya rolls his eyes with a grin. One bad thing about Dazai's friendship with Albatross was the memes and references.

Me

So, would an angry person throw someone a late bday party?
Cause I really have no clue

Odasakuuuuu

Ah, seems like we just found the reason why you aren't drinking with us right now

Glad you guys made up

Ango

I don't think someone angry at you would throw a party.

Me

Idk

He's really indecisive

And last time he was nice to me, he rudely kicked me out of his apartment

Odasakuuuuu

Was there cake?

Ango

Of course, the first thing you ask is food related.

Me

Yeah

He baked a cake and it wasn't even poisoned!

Ango

He baked for you? He's not angry.

Odasakuuuuu

Did you receive a present?

Me

Yes

Odasakuuuuu

Did you have fun?

Me

Of course I did, it's Chuuya! Such a stupid question.

Normally Ango's the one to ask them

Ango

Hey!

Odasakuuuuu

Did Chuuya have fun being around you?

"Mhm," Dazai looks up from his phone to gaze at his younger version's sleeping form. A smile on his face as he gently pets Chuuya's head again and as a result, Chuuya seems to melt into the touch. "Did you have fun being around me?" He asks his voice just a whisper that's swallowed by the voices of the actors that do their best on the TV screen just to be ignored.

Me

I hope so?

Hard to tell

"Hard to tell?" Real Chuuya looks at the position their younger selves are in: Dazai sitting on the couch and his younger version clinging to him as if he'd die the second the younger teen moved away. "You can't be serious, you idiot. 'Hard to tell', my ass," he scoffs.

Ango

Why is it hard to tell?

Me

Because it's Chuuya

Odasakuuuuu

Better question: Where are you right now?

Me

At Chuuya's

Ango

While texting us? You're not afraid he'll read our chat?

Me

Chibis can't read

Oh, Chuuya really wanted to punch the bag of bandages.

Also, he's asleep

Odasakuuuuu

Wait

Why are you there when he's asleep?

Ango

Please tell me you didn't break into his apartment to watch him sleep.

There are boundaries.

Me

Yeah yeah boundaries

But I told you already: He basically dragged me to his place and then he had like this party prepared

Odasakuuuuu

When you say party...

How many people are there?

Me

Well, just the microorganism and I

Why?

Ango

...

God, you're stupid. Are we sure we're actually texting with Osamu Dazai, the feared demon prodigy?

Me

Rude

Odasakuuuuu

He does have a point.

Me

GASP

ODA! HOW COULD YOU?!

You're supposed to be on my side :(

Ango

Okay, let's sum this mess up: He dragged you to his place, prepared a party for you, the two of you are alone there, he even baked a cake for you, and you really can't tell if he had fun?

Me

How am I supposed to know that?!

Odasakuuuuu

Okay different question: If he's asleep then why are you still in his apartment?

Ango

That's a good question.

Me

I wanted to go and he stopped me because it's ur bday party u have to staaay

Then he his arms snug around my torso like a snake trying to suffocate their prey

So I'm basically dying right now

Odasakuuuuu

...

You're cuddling?

Ango

And you still can't tell if he likes being around you?

Me

The 'cuddling' is just alcohol-induced

If he's sleepy or drunk he just does that

I once saw him hug a plant in drunken slumber

Okay, that's bullshit. Chuuya never hugged a plant. Dazai's just trying to worm himself out of the conversation because he—

I have proof!

Proof? Oh no. Real Chuuya watches in horror as Dazai switches to his gallery, opening a folder creatively named 'Stuff' and scrolls to a huge amount of pictures. Chuuya tries to focus on the dozens of photographs that move out of the screen so fast. The brunet seemed to have taken a liking to photographing trees of all sorts and at every time of the day. He even had a picture of the tree where the flags observed their parties from. His phone camera didn't seem to be able to capture the fairy lights in all their glory because they were just different blobs of color in the tree. It could've also been a stylistic choice, the vague light dots held a certain kind of aesthetic to them. Besides trees, Dazai photographed clouds in all sorts of shapes and colors. A few even had either sunsets or sunrises. He also tried to capture the night sky as well as he could with a phone camera. He seemed set on collecting every constellation of the endless night sky on the limited storage of his phone. Chuuya recognized a few of them because Dazai pointed at the sky after nightly missions and showed them to him. God, the executive could listen forever to the brunet's joyful voice explaining every star of each constellation. Dazai bubbly with excitement is just a sight for sore eyes, as he shines brighter than all the stars of the night sky combined. Chuuya smiles as he sees Bellatrix, a star in Orion, shine through the top of a tree. His gaze also catches the horns of Taurus and Cassiopeia shining in all their glory in the shaky photographs that soon leave the screen as Dazai is still scrolling through the gallery. Bridges gracefully stretching over rivers and ocean waves crashing against the shore flew past Chuuya's gaze. There are also combinations where the same bridge is shown but with the focus on the stars above it and underneath in the river's reflection or the moon captured on a clearing in the woods. The executive also recognizes that the demon prodigy used a few of these photos as an inspiration to draw. Chuuya can't exactly remember when his younger self realized that the mackerel liked to draw but as soon as he did, he gifted him a small travel-size aquarelle set with a sketchbook for his next birthday. The amount of pictures seemed endless and Chuuya had to admit that the younger teen was a talented photographer. The executive wondered what the future detective could do with a real camera and not just the sorry excuse his phone provided. He couldn't linger on that thought because Dazai stopped his scrolling, selected a picture, and sent it to the chat. Chuuya is going to kill him because instead of helping his drunk and sleeping younger self, the bastard took this stupid picture. His picture self was sitting on the floor of some mafia hallway. Between his legs was a big potted plant, Chuuya's not a gardener but it might be a cypress of some sort. The evergreen plant is surrounded by his arms, his torso leaning into the greenery so his face is thankfully hidden. It's still clear as day that it's him because of his attire (the last time he wore this outfit he wasn't responsible for the gem trade) and the bright red hair that's peeking through the green of the tree.

Ango

Proof?

Me

[picture was sent into chat]

See? He just does that when he's drunk and/or sleepy

Odasakuuuuu

That's the best picture ever

Me

Right?!

Ango

I'm astounded by the fact you are still alive after taking that photograph.

Me

Just because he isn't aware it exists-

Ango

Alright, back to our topic: You're stupid.

Me

Am not!

Odasakuuuuu

You kinda are but it's actually rather sweet

So to answer your question: No, an angry person wouldn't throw you a party like that

So your 'tiny' friend is in conclusion not pissed at you

Ango

At least at the moment.

Me

Are you sure?

Odasakuuuuu

I am but I'm obviously not Chuuya

So just ask him when he wakes up. You wanted to be more open about stuff like this and I'm sure he'll appreciate it

Me

Okay. Thanks

"Ask you, hm?" The younger teen's lips form a soft smile as he gently brushes a hair strand out of Chuuya's face. Dazai closes the chat and puts his phone away without taking his gaze off the sleeping teen, who's silently snoring. A few seconds pass until the demon prodigy faces the TV with a sigh. "It's really unbelievable how you can sleep like this," the other mumbles as he carefully pulls a blanket out of the ocean of pillows that are covering the couch and the floor (their Mario Kart tournament was intense). He gently places the blanket over Chuuya and just stares at the TV. Right, Dazai's sleep habits are sporadic and very specific. The younger teen needed to lie down to actually sleep. The exception to that 'rule' is the moment his body craves sleep because then he could sleep everywhere. He wasn't sleep-deprived at the moment so he definitely couldn't sleep on the couch, at least not right now. Real Chuuya smiles a bit because the younger teen could have simply woken him up. But instead of doing that Dazai reaches for the remote and switches whatever was playing out for 'Our Planet'.

_____

Real Dazai looks at the TV screen. 'Are you still watching: "Our Planet"?' Mhm, his younger self must have fallen asleep after three episodes of the documentary series. The tiny redhead is carefully removing his hands from his younger version's torso. His movements are incredibly slow and Dazai just smiles at that. Chibi could've just woken him up back then but instead, he's being all adorable and trying to move as silently as possible, succeeding in not waking his younger version. The future executive walks towards the kitchen, his steps lightened by the glow of his ability. He didn't have to sneak around like this. Chuuya's pulling two mugs out of one of his cupboards as well as a small pot out of another one to fill the latter with milk and put it on the stove. While the milk is heating up, he's pulling a large bowl with pancake dough out of his fridge alongside strawberries and blueberries. Huh. Chibi actually planned to have him stay overnight, didn't he? The detective slowly moves next to the redhead, watching him oil the pan to put it on the stove next to the milk. While he waited for both stovetops to heat up, he cut the strawberries into slices.

"What are you doing?" His younger self asks and Dazai remembers how afraid he actually was. He simply feared that the last time he stayed over would repeat itself and he really didn't want to be kicked out again. Chuuya looks in his direction and smiles, which eased his younger version a bit.

"Forcing you to eat breakfast for once in your life, that's what I'm doing," he jokes even though it is partially true: Dazai's eating habits are just as chaotic as his sleep schedule and the older teen is well aware of that. "Go, get two plates," he instructs with a lazy hand gesture towards the cupboard said things are in. His younger version gets up and fulfills his little quest, starting to gather what else they need to eat and place it on the small dining table in front of the kitchen. That didn't take long so now he's sitting in the chair in front of his plate and watching Chuuya prepare the rest. The redhead was multitasking through his ability, he sent his younger version a warning glare, as For The Tainted Sorrow started to tilt the pot behind Chuuya's back to let the milk flow into the mugs, it also skillfully flips a pancake in the air, making the younger teen wonder how often Chibi uses his ability like that. Chuuya has finished his task and joins him at the table and as soon as he sits down a plate with stacked pancakes and two big mugs filled with hot milk are landing on the table. The older teen puts a pancake on Dazai's plate and his own while his younger version mixes the milk with Cocoa powder. He even adds a bit of cinnamon and then finishes it off with whipped cream. He slides the mug towards Chuuya and then they start to eat as a comfortable silence settles between them. His younger version ate three fluffy pancakes with lots of berries even though he was already full after the first one but Chuuya made so many that he felt obligated to eat more. That was probably Chuuya's plan all along.

"Are you still mad?" His younger version finally asks, casually sipping on his hot chocolate to give off the impression of indifference even though he was very nervous. Chuuya stares at him, hand halfway to his mouth with another bite of the pancake (his fifth pancake! How could such a tiny person eat so much?), and stops midair for a few seconds.

"Do you really think I would have done all this if I were mad at you?" The tiny microorganism questions and yeah, from an outsider's perspective it must be pretty stupid to even ask that in the first place but he was so in his head back then (and still is most of the time) that he just needed the other to clarify it. His younger version starts to pick at the edges of his bandages, getting rid of fuzz to give his hand something to do while his mind is just rehearsing any bad outcome this conversation might have.

"You did kick me out last time," he remarks, avoiding eye contact with Chuuya, "so are you going to do that now?" The older teen slowly lowers his hand until the fork hits the plate with a clattering sound. He stares at his younger version, pushing his back against the chair as he crosses his arms, and continues to silently stare, narrowing his eyes a bit. Dazai very vividly remembers how his younger self wanted to die back then. Silent Chuuya is always dangerous, especially if he looks as serious as now.

"Do you want me to?" It's not a threat, it's a surprisingly calm question and rather softly spoken. Chuuya's gaze also isn't as hard anymore as he waits for an answer.

"No!" Is his way too fast reply and his younger self looked at Chuuya instead of trying to distract himself from his thoughts. "It's just that you've been avoiding me for so long and then you do this and it's all just so confusing," he expresses because Odasaku is right: His younger self wanted to be more open, and thus he will start right here even if it's hard and it feels like he's chewing on glass as he forces the words out of his mouth. "Because nothing changed between you punching my face and now. I just don't understand why you're doing this," he explains and it was so hard for his younger self to confess that he didn't understand it. It made him so vulnerable, shows that he'd been thinking about it for a while and there's nothing worse than not knowing the answer to all those questions his overactive mind provided. Chuuya uncrosses his arms, to lean his underarms on the table.

"You're right, nothing changed," Chuuya breaks the short silence, "I've just realized something: You could've done this anytime you wanted. You could've always asked Mori for a new mission or extra paperwork. So why didn't you? I assume it's all part of one of your stupid masterplans like the one you pulled when I punched you. I certainly don't appreciate that you don't tell me what's going on and what you have planned in that overrated head of yours but I'll just stick it out," Chuuya seemingly ends his little speech, picking up his fork to finally have that pancake bite. As he chews, he points the fork at Dazai and swallows: "You can do all the missions you want, because, at the end of the day, those extra points will do you nothing for I am sure to become an executive before you. Without any extra points," he emphasizes before he continues eating his pancake. Dazai's younger version is just looking at the other teen, slowly shaking his head in amazement. Chuuya is insane and Dazai can't help but love him even more for it.

"So, we're good? Despite me doing possible extra missions in the future?" His younger version needs to confirm this to calm his mind. He watched Chuuya roll his eyes while trying to suppress a smile. Luckily, he failed so Dazai can appreciate the way the corner of his lips move up to a beautiful smile.

"Yeah, this is my way of showing you it is, we're good," he states and then his smile turns into a smirk: "As good as we normally are." Chuuya stretches his leg under the table to be able to lightly kick his younger version. A chuckle escapes his younger version's throat and he smiles.

"Wouldn't change anything about it," is the last thing Dazai hears his younger self say as the memory fates into the white abyss. He's not even angry. He got to see the birthday party Chuuya organized for him and saw the older teen cling to him once more. Honestly, he's astounded that Arahabaki let him witness the memory for this long but who is he to question a god, he thinks as a mocking grin forms on his lips.

_____

"It's my turn to ask: Are you planning to murder me?" Chuuya's younger version mocks just as a tree branch slaps his arm. "Tough luck with that, we both know you don't stand a chance against me," he remarks as he effortlessly breaks the twig that slapped him in half.

"Always so humble," the bastard comments and continues to hum an unfamiliar tune while he walks in front of his younger version.

"The truth doesn't need to be humble," he counters. They've been sent on a small mission right after they established they're on good terms again. The mission was ridiculously easy. It was almost an insult to let them do it. Right after they'd finished it, Dazai pointed at the forest they were walking by, saying that he wanted to show him something, and now real Chuuya is following both teens as they hike through the forest. They've been walking for at least fifteen minutes now.

"We're here," the younger teen announces, standing a few feet away from him.

"I swear to god, if you dragged me all the way up here to show me a 'perfect river to drown in' you won't be needing that river to end your life," Chuuya's younger self mumbles, trying to not trip over some roots and mackerel just laughs in response.

"No, don't worry it's not a river, it's actually the opposite."

"Did you-"

"I did not set the forest on fire."

"What else would you mean by 'opposite'?" Chuuya's younger self wonders aloud as he finally reaches the spot Dazai wanted to show him just to stop moving. Gravestones. Five Gravestones. Real Chuuya is focusing on Dazai while his younger counterpart is overwhelmed by the implications. Mackerel is just watching Chuuya, his nervousness is exponentially rising with every passing second. Was this a stupid idea? He's not saying anything. Silent Chuuya is scary, and similar thoughts race through his head, so he decided to explain the situation.

"Mori wanted to put them with the others fallen in the cemetery near the mountains," the demon prodigy starts, looking everywhere but Chuuya because his silence is freaking the younger teen out. "I think they deserve more than such a mass cemetery for fallen mafioso. So I pulled a few strings to get them here. It's a good place for them, right near their party spot so they can still supervise it all." Dazai's gaze was anywhere but on Chuuya. God, the younger teen was so nervous. His younger version was looking through the trees right past Dazai and saw the car peek through them in the distance. "Besides, they are too important for us to be lying somewhere in the middle of nowhere, they were our friends, well, more your friends than mine but they are important so I—" Dazai gets interrupted the moment young Chuuya throws himself at the demon prodigy. Arms holding on to him and his face buried in the other's shoulder. "Eh," is the only thing leaving Dazai's mouth as his mind is trying to figure out why Chuuya is hugging him without being drunk or sleepy. Real Chuuya thinks it's adorable how this small gesture makes the other's mind go into overdrive, calculating any outcome just to miss the real intention: gratitude.

"Thank you," is softly spoken into the shoulder and that seems to give the right interpretation to Dazai, he finally starts to wrap his arms around his younger version to return the embrace. They stay like this and Dazai seems to be weighing whether Chuuya needs comfort or he would rather be alone. But before he can start to move his hand in soothing circles over the other's back, because that is what people do, right? they get interrupted. It starts slow and the raindrops have a hard time reaching them while they're standing under the tree tops but suddenly the wind is blowing and the rain gets heavier. "Let's get going," Chuuya says as he breaks away from Dazai.

"Yeah, we should, otherwise I have to deal with the stench of a wet dog," the younger teen teases and it earns him a weak kick to the shin. It's that moment that the weather decides to fuck all their plans to stay dry because the rain starts to pour and thunder roars above them. They look at each other and then sprint toward the old Mustang. The rain has soaked them completely when they reach it.

"Can't you do that faster," Chuuya complains as Dazai is picking the lock of the car with the hairpins he hides in his bandages.

"I already did but the door is stuck, I can't open it," he explains while pulling the door handle.

"Step aside," Chuuya commands and the younger teen does without questioning him. Chuuya grabs the door handle, pulls it lightly, consolidates his stance, and then executes a quick movement with a lot of power in it. The door bursts open with an unpleasant sound, small rust filters fly through the area but are stopped by Chuuya's ability. "And that's how you fucking do it," he brags with a grin in Dazai's direction before he climbs into the car and over the console to slide down into the passenger seat. The demon prodigy follows him, sits down in the driver's seat, and pulls the door shut. Real Chuuya just sits down on the console between the seats. It's not comfortable but at least he can see their expressions this way. "How long do you think we're stuck here?"

"I'd say we wait until the thunderstorm moves away from us and right now it's..." A flash of lightning shines in the sky draped with dark clouds and Dazai doesn't get to count out loud as the thunder follows the lightning almost directly. "Above us," he ends his sentence with a sigh. "Let's hope it moves fast." They both look out of the windshield and can only guess that they are surrounded by trees, as the rain blurs the surroundings with all the drops that hit the windshield every second. The sound of the rain hitting the windows fills the silence between them. They just look through the windows as if they could make the storm move away by starting a staring contest, which they would lose anyway due to the blurred vision.

"So," his younger version starts trying to get Dazai's attention, and even though he sounds somewhat timid he succeeds immediately as the younger teen moves his gaze from the windshield to face him within a second. "After I punched you in the face, I said some nasty things and I..." He pauses, his gaze going past Dazai into the blur of green of the forest as his hand finds its way to the back of his neck, rubbing over it a bit to force himself to say the next words even though it's hard for him to admit he reacted too strongly back then. "I just wanted to tell you-" he interrupts himself, closing his eyes briefly, cursing his own self in his mind because it's so stupid that it's so hard to say the words and when he opens his eyes again he's looking directly into Dazai's. "I should never have denied you your humanity like that. If someone had said that to me, I would have snapped, because- well, you know why. So I threw that at you because I wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry for saying no one would believe you're human." Real Chuuya expected a tsunami of thoughts from the younger teen but his mind was as quiet as the bottom of a swimming pool.

"It's okay," the future detective said after a while and the silence in his mind is freaking Chuuya out.

"No, it's not," his younger self insists because it wasn't 'okay' and Dazai shouldn't just shrug it off like that. Hell, real Chuuya knew that the comment hurt the younger boy so why was he so indifferent about it? "It was fucking shitty."

"Not that my behavior was any better." And Chuuya finally understands why Dazai is so weirdly quiet: He never really received apologies. The only person that ever truly apologized to him was Albatross and back then Dazai was also this weirdly calm about it. "We already established that we're good, right?"

"Yeah, we did, you're right," his younger self smiles. "We're good. I just wanted to let you know I regret saying that, you know?" Dazai nods with a small smile.

"I appreciate it," he answers and their conversation dies down, a pleasant silence disturbed only by the rain. Only now does Chuuya notice that the loud pattering of the rain has faded into the background during their conversation because now that he thinks about it, they had to talk relatively loudly to each other at the time to understand each other at all. And that shows that the other teen truly appreciated the apology even if he's not used to receiving them.

"Hey," Chuuya once again tried to start a conversation and Dazai looked at him expectantly, the rain sound once again tuned out as he focused his full attention on his younger version. "I wanted to ask that for a while now and then I didn't because I was angry at you," his younger self looks stubbornly out of the window, he doesn't want to face the other teen while approaching this topic even though he knew the younger would take him seriously. "But how do I- what does it look like when I go all out?"

"You mean when you use corruption?"

"Corruption?" He questions now turning his head towards the other.

"It looks like Arahabaki corrupts you with the dark red swirls that crawl over your body," the younger teen says. "I just assumed that you're reduced to a viewer of your own movements, so I thought it would be a fitting name but like if you hate it-" Finally Chuuya can hear the other's thoughts again, which are panicking because: Why did I name it? He hates it! I'm in no position to even put a name on it so why did I do that?! He overthinks everything as usual.

"No, it's quite fitting, because it is like you say: I just watch what happens and sometimes I can't see anything. It's weird," his younger version states. "So, back to my question: What do I look like? If you think I'm corrupted then I must look like some uncanny-valley manifestation, right?"

"Uncanny what?" Dazai asks while tilting his head to the side and god, it's so adorable it should be prohibited. Real Chuuya knows that twenty-two-year-old Dazai is well aware of how stupidly hot he is, but this younger version doesn't understand how cute and innocent he looks with the doe eyes and the confused tilt. When real Dazai uses this expression it's faked most of the time and he knows how annoyingly attractive he looks while doing that. It should be a crime.

"Don't play dumb," his younger self scoffs, completely blind to the beautiful sight his eyes are blessed with. "You know what I mean." Dazai slowly shakes his head and Chuuya looks at him concluding that he really doesn't understand what he's referring to.

"Well, it's this theoretical gap between humanoid robots and real humans. Like the more human-like a robot looks the more icky you are feeling about it, because you know it's not human and-", he tries to explain it as best as he can, just to be interrupted.

"Stop," Dazai pleads to him with an almost desperate edge. And real Chuuya listens to his loud and somewhat panicky thoughts. He's talking about Arahabaki and his self-perception is completely distorted. How can he think he is only human-like? When he doubts it I have to make him understand that he is a human being until he just has to believe me! Real Chuuya smiles, he vividly remembers their talk in the car and he can't put into words how much it means to him. Dazai is going to speak so appreciatively and lovingly that Chuuya's younger version is tearing up a bit, not being used to someone talking so goodly about him. "You're human."

"We don't know that!" His younger self yells, pissed that Dazai just brushes him off like that. This whole issue is like an exposed nerve for him, always present and the pain is so strong that you can never quite get used to it. He has no choice but to grit his teeth and live with it. No surgery can remove the nerve, only the certainty of whether he is human or a clone could ease the throbbing pain.

"You're right," Dazai appeases and his younger self is astounded. He had firmly believed that the younger one would argue with him so that he just agreed in such an unspectacular manner eased him into confused silence. "Look, I don't pretend to know what goes on in your head. I can only imagine how this topic eats you up, but there's one thing I know," he makes a little artificial pause because Dazai's dramatic like that, and maybe he does it to sort his thoughts. His mind is remembering what Oda and Ango said to him and he's determined to pour his heart into the conversation even if he's uncertain how it's going to end. "You're the most humane person I know."

"Don't lie," his younger self counters, disappointed. He really hoped Dazai would take him seriously.

"I'm not lying. I would never lie to you while talking about this topic," the younger teen reassures, his voice calm as he slowly lets his gaze wander from Chuuya's eyes to the windshield with every word that leaves his mouth. "Back then when we faced Guvire and I told you what was at stake, what you'd lose if you said that phrase, you just did it. I gave you two minutes which was ridiculously short considering the gravity of your decision, and you? You just took off within seconds, sacrificing your identity for the sake of the world. No one I know would've done that, especially not in such a short period of time. Hell, I tried to come up with a different plan because I didn't want you to make this big sacrifice. But you were gone within like ten seconds so it leaves me dumbfounded that you doubt your humanity at all. You're so painfully human in everything you do, the way you get angry to protect the ones you deem worthy of your loyalty, which are far too many people because you're just like that, so you, so Chuuya and sometimes I look at you and see all the humanity I lack and it's so frustrating to see you doubt it. I wish I could make you believe me, I'd wish you see yourself the way I do and—" Dazai stops his heartfelt speech head turning towards the older teen. While the demon prodigy did really pour his heart into his words, he couldn't look at Chuuya while saying it and the reason why he does it now is the little sniffle he heard. Chuuya's younger version actually stared at the brunet in fazed amazement because he couldn't believe that out of all the people he knows the kid who shot a dead body like a maniac is the first one to bring him to tears like this. Through simple words. It's the first time anyone took the time to analyze him like that, the first time that someone tells him he got something others don't, without reducing him to his ability. He just can't help but tear up and stubbornly stare out of the windshield again, so his tears go unnoticed. Honestly, it's ridiculous that Dazai even heard his sniffle, the rain was still so loud it shouldn't have been possible. "Chuuya?" And his younger self turns his head further away from the brunet.

"Is the thunderstorm moving away?" His voice is a bit wobbly, most people wouldn't notice it and real Chuuya looks at Dazai who has to realize what is actually happening because he is always able to reorganize little changes in his voice or behavior and sees a soft smile on his face.

"Probably, we have to wait for the next lightning to be sure though," and with that Dazai's gaze focused on the sky as he rightfully guessed that Chuuya doesn't want to talk right now. A lightning flashes through the dark and Dazai starts to count. Thunder roars through the night. "Mhm, it did move away but we should wait for the next lightning," and so they do, while his younger version slightly sniffles and silently prays that he can finally step outside so the younger teen couldn't see his tears through the heavy rain. The future detective waits for the next flash of light and counts again. "Yeah, it's safe to go, the thunderstorm is roughly eleven kilometers away," he says and opens the door, and he moves outside, not looking back to give Chuuya the privacy he needs right now. Opening his arms to embrace the rain, laughing as the water drops hit his face, drenching his clothes and bandages once again. It must be a shitty feeling to have soggy bandages stick to his body but Dazai doesn't complain. His younger version finally manages to climb out of the car letting the rain hit his face to wash his tear streaks away.

"Wanna race towards the city?" The brunet yells against the loud storm with a big grin. "No abilities and the winner gets to shower first at your place!" And with that the younger teen runs off, laughing as Chuuya chases after him.

_____

"It's your fault!" Chibi blames him while slamming the door to his apartment shut. "Now, don't fucking move, I'll get us towels," he urged as he uses his ability to fly towards the bathroom so he doesn't stain his floor.

"I didn't force you to copy my genius idea," Dazai's younger self responds without a care in the world. The 'genius idea' his younger self was referring to was rather stupid. They had their little race, stumbling through the forest, trying not to trip and yelling insults at each other. Everything was fine until they reached the end of the forest, because from then on there was only a grassy landscape in front of them, which became muddy and slippery due to the rain. These are the best conditions to slide down a hill, so his younger self accelerated briefly and then he made a small jump and consolidated his footing. This way he was much faster than Chuuya, which he also told him with a 'bye loser'. However, Chuuya just matched him and so they both surfed down the hill, at least until Dazai tripped over something and Chuuya fell over him at full speed resulting in them both rolling down the rest of the hill. It hurt like hell and they had so many bruises from their little stunt, but all they did was laugh until they couldn't breathe anymore, laying next to each other in the mud, the last raindrops washing their faces and while they tried to get their breathing under control again. It was chaotic and messy and perfect. Dazai wouldn't have traded this for anything else and Chibi is just embarrassed because Ane-san saw him completely soaked and covered in mud from head to toe. The elegant woman happened to be in the same store the two teens went into to buy new bandages for Dazai. When Chuuya caught sight of Ane-san after they paid, he grabbed Dazai's wrist and ran off without a thought for his change, ignoring the feminine voice that called for him to come back.

"It was stupid!"

"If it's so stupid why did you copy-" his younger self gets interrupted by the towel the older teen threw at him.

"Just fucking shower."

"Oh, so you admit that I won?"

The memory fades away and real Dazai is just happy he got to see their little bet. Also, and way more important, he got to see Chuuya's teared-up and deeply touched expression. If twenty-two-year-old Chuuya would cry like that in front of him, he'd wipe away the tears and happily kiss it all better, just to end up in a hospital because the feisty mafioso wouldn't be as happy about it. And Dazai quietly considers if the broken bones would be worth it, while the white nothingness surrounds him once more.

_____

Damn, they spent a lot of their free time in the arcade. Chuuya lost count of how many arcade memories he saw long ago. They're betting as usual on who'd win the round and the next three and the next five and so on. Right now, real Chuuya was following the teenagers through the city headed in the direction of Chuuya's apartment. His younger version was sulking because he once again lost the bet against the brunet, the wager was that the loser had to cook for the winner, and of course, Dazai made a comment about Chuuya being 'a true maid' which earned him a hard kick. But a bet is a bet and so Chuuya admitted his defeat and let the younger teen drag him to the nearest supermarket to buy all the ingredients they'd need. Even though his younger version acted embarrassed and annoyed, he was glad because at least he could make sure Dazai ate a healthy meal, which felt like a win to Chuuya.

_____

"No way!" Chuuya shakes his head, a somewhat shocked expression on his face. Real Dazai is sitting on the little table that stands in front of Chuuya's couch. The younger versions are sitting on the couch, both having their backs against each armrest, legs bent so they could face each other. His younger self is grinning from ear to ear, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he nods his head energetically.

"It's true! I saw it with my own eyes and now I have to bleach them," Dazai states, making a grimace of disgust and Chuuya starts to laugh. It's so beautiful and loud. A hand slaps his knee as he hunches over, his eyes closed and his mouth wide open, showing off his perfect teeth. No hand covering anything, because why would Chuuya do that? The sun doesn't need to hide, and like the distant star still lightens the world, Chuuya's laugh always brightens his mood. Gossiping with the redhead was insanely rewarding because the smaller teen was so invested in anything that happens around him. Just telling him what happened to some poor unfortunate soul made him feel with their fate, turning his face into a cabinet of emotions so open and easy to read that Dazai could write hundreds and thousands of books dedicated to each expression. They would sell for a high price, especially his expressions that are filled with impulsive rage, making the older teen look so gorgeously alive, and his laugh? No money in the world could be weighed against it. "I closed the door but the image is burned right into my brain, unable to ever forget about the disgusting things I saw," he dramatizes because Chuuya usually lost his composure when he did, incapable of stopping the fits of laughter and giggles that would flow out of his mouth. And it worked.

"Did they notice you?" The tiny redhead asks after he calms down, voice a bit wheezing, wiping away a small tear that left his eye due to all the joy he felt at Dazai's misery.

"I hope not, otherwise Mori is going to have the talk with me and I don't really want that conversation to happen; ever," his younger version looks terrified at the idea. It's faked because Mori did have that conversation with him long ago, saying that one should use all the advantages they got, including sexual skills. Sex is nothing but a tool for manipulation, at least if one asks Mori, which would be a horrible decision, really. And Dazai did see it that way too: Sex is nothing more than a transaction. He used to gain information by seducing the right people. He even slept with a nurse just to get his phone back not too long ago. But Chuuya forced him to watch his stupid predictable rom-coms and they did include a few sex scenes. Well, hinted at sex scenes, which was kinda awkward to watch together but it showed him a new, better kind of sex with so much emotion where all that matters was the pleasure and the closure and the emotions of the lovers. The thing he used as mere interaction was being portrayed as so intimate and loving that he felt betrayed and used, it was a realization that made him feel disgusted with himself. From then on his younger self desired the intimacy seen on the TV screen but he also feared it. Being so open, so vulnerable in front of someone was a scary concept and his sixteen-year-old mind decided that if he ever would have real emotional sex with someone it could only ever be Chuuya. He trusted the older teen, he had (and still has) a huge crush on the redhead and he just knows that Chuuya would be a great lover. It was a dangerous thought back then and it's even more dangerous now. They're on different sides and the major issue: Chuuya doesn't want him that way, and would never think of him as someone he'd want to have sex with, especially not loving sex.

"Ane-san actually had the talk with me and I didn't even walk in on her!" Chibi complains to him, sculpting his hair in a way that roughly resembles Kouyou's hairstyle. "Always use protection, you hear me, lad?" Chuuya mimics her voice insanely well so his younger self puts a hand in front of his mouth hiding his laugh immediately because it's such an ugly sound. It's so loud and just utterly disgusting with that stupid little whistle because, of course, he couldn't have perfect teeth like Chuuya. He hates it. "The mafia doesn't need teen pregnancies, don't you dare to impregnate a girl, and it's also for your safety! Sexual diseases are very unpleasant, to say the least." But Chuuya doesn't seem to share his opinion on his laugh. The older teen is looking at him, a genuine smile on his face and his eyes seem to soften. He's not covering his ears, not telling Dazai to stop that awful noise; no, he looks weirdly happy about the annoying sound that is leaving his mouth.

_____

Chuuya still can't believe that Dazai walked in on Mori fucking the news-report girl. His younger self couldn't watch the news for a week straight because Dazai felt the need to share everything he saw so they'd both suffer from it. Right now their younger selves were sitting on the couch (like they almost always did), chips and other snacks in front of them.

"So what are you making me watch without being able to complain about it?" The brunet wants to know, disappointed that he actually lost the bet they made, because he surely had some disturbing video he wanted Chuuya to watch.

"Just shut up and look at the screen," his younger self replies, feeling a bit nervous about the movie he wants to watch but he's going through with it. He starts Netflix and selects the genre.

"Oh no, please I'm begging you anything but those stupid predictable—," Dazai starts to complain, turning his head to Chuuya, trying to use his stupid doe-eyes to change his mind.

"No complaining allowed. You agreed to all conditions of the bet and lost, now suck it up," Chuuya focused his gaze on the TV to avoid looking at Dazai. His stupid pout somehow confused his younger self and real Chuuya realized that he fell in love with the idiot long before he put a name on it.

"I'm not allowed to complain once the movie starts," the brunet corrects, sulking because Chuuya is refusing to look at him. "But you haven't chosen how to torture me yet, so I get to complain as loud as I want." The demon prodigy crosses his arms in front of his chest while he contemptuously watches Chuuya click through the movie selection.

"Well, then you can shut up now," his younger self demands as he finally starts a movie, while real Chuuya enjoys the thoughts Dazai has. He's tearing the plot apart, making comments in his head and it's quite entertaining. And Chuuya always suspected that Dazai had fun, he's pretty sure the younger teen lost all of their bets regarding movies on purpose because he didn't want to admit that he liked the genre; so adorable. The thing his younger version regretted was that the movie did include a sex scene, well it was mostly hinted at, the lovers kissing, moving to the bedroom while losing their clothes, naked skin on naked skin, but the action skillfully hidden behind the cinematography and different props. His younger self did suffer through the sex-ed talk Ane-san forced upon him but he still couldn't watch it, turning his head to the side, cheeks flushed. But Dazai? His eyes were glued to the screen, somewhat confused and his mind strangely empty. Real Chuuya didn't know what he should think about that.

_____

"I only hear his voice whilst using Corruption and for like a day after I used it," his younger version answers Dazai's sudden question. The topic was still a sore spot and he could hear Dazai's panicked thoughts that cursed himself out for even asking in the first place. Honestly, after their talk in the car, the younger teen could ask him anything about Arahabaki. Chuuya felt safe talking about it, knowing Dazai wouldn't dare to make fun of him.

"Well, how is talking to a literal god, Chibi?"

"Annoying as hell. He's all like: Destroy this, devour that, and fear me, mortal. It's exhausting most of the time", his younger self says before taking a sip from his wine. God, he loved their late-night talks. They usually occurred after long missions or after they spend the evening watching movies or playing games. It was turning into a habit and he missed those honest talks. He missed it all.

"So sometimes he's alright?" Dazai had concluded because of course he does see through anything Chuuya says to him.

"He loves gossip," his younger self admits. "Our trash talks are his highlights. He started to tell me how annoying the other gods used to be and that he's glad he doesn't have to talk to them anymore. He's such a drama queen, it's fun," he laughed and real Chuuya heard all the little thoughts Dazai had about his beautiful laugh that, in his words, outshines the sun which is so corny and clichéd. God, the rom-com movies did make the compliments the brunet thought about really cheesy; Chuuya loved it. By far the cutest thought the brunet had was that he's determined to always gossip to Chuuya after the older teen used corruption. "You know, I think you two would get along, since you're both annoying and are the biggest drama queens I know."

"Rude," Dazai sulked, but the sly little idiot was actually really happy about the implication his younger self made about having fun around him. Adorable. "But while we're on the topic," the brunet grinned, "did you know Ane-san had a secret admirer?"

"Oh my god, you know who it is? Ane-san is so pissed off by it!" His younger self exclaims, his voice being way too loud for the late hour but he just couldn't bring himself to care back then because holy shit he was talking about the admirer with Ane-san the other day. He slams his wineglass a bit too powerful on the table, making the liquid swirl dangerously close to the edge with a few drops landing on the table but Chuuya didn't realize it. He was looking at Dazai who was a bit flashed by the older's mood change. "You have to tell me who it is!"

"You really think you want to know?" The brunet teases, eyes sparkling with mirth, clearly enjoying all the attention Chuuya is giving him.

"Spit it out already!"

"Okay, okay, it's..." He makes a dramatic pause which he uses to make a disgusted grimace as he spits out the name of that piece of scum: "Ace."

"What," his younger self uttered, voice dangerously low, eyes narrowing. "How dare that scum harass Ane-san!" He yells, anger dissorting every facial feature. "I'm going to-" He is already jumping off the couch to go fight that scumbag who dared to write such disgusting letters to Ane-san. Before he can leave the apartment, Dazai grabs his wrist.

"Nothing, Chuuya, you're going to do nothing," he urged, his tone serious, and his grip iron-like. His younger self could get out of the hold anytime though.

"But he-"

"He is a disgrace to the mafia, yes, but he's also an executive," the demon prodigy reminds him. "We can't do anything against him." He let go of Chuuya's wrist, sensing the other wouldn't do anything impulsive.

"Dazai, he is harassing Ane-san. I can't just do nothing about it," he responds with a desperate edge to his voice.

"We can't do anything." And Chuuya remembers how betrayed he felt back then, how disappointed he was because he thought Dazai would have a plan to get their vengeance on the piece of scum but instead, he was telling him it wasn't possible. His eyes look at the younger teen dismayed, disapproving words on his tongue. Before he can say anything, the brunet beats him to it: "Well, except to mess with his hair products and clothes, and adjust each of his clocks to be three minutes late for every meeting," he lists all the things he has done, his hands raised in a guilt-rejecting gesture and an innocent smile on his face, betrayed only by the insolent expression in his eyes.

"The pink hair color... that was you?" His younger self asks, surprised and happy at the misfortune the executive has to go through because it's what he fucking deserves. He was so glad that Dazai was the scheming bastard he is. God, he admired the younger teen so much at that moment.

"Well, he wrote how much he adored Ane-san's eyeshadow, didn't he? So I thought he would appreciate having the same color in his hair. How was I supposed to know he'd hate it?" Dazai questioned, forging confusion, but his cocky expression deceived him; and it was such a good look on him. "But aside from my little pranks, I can't do much. It was tough to pull all this off without him being able to blame his poor workers," the teen admitted. "So I would suggest that you simply tell Ane-san who her suitor is and until she confronts him with it we can play around a bit longer...I think his hair would look very good in purple, don't you agree?" A sly grin is on Dazai's lips as he asks for Chuuya's opinion and the older teen just mimics it with a nod ready for chaotic mayhem. No one harasses our big sister and gets away with it, Dazai thinks with murderous intentions as they start to plan how they make Ace suffer and real Chuuya is pleasantly surprised by the thought. A smile formed on his face. Ane-san is their big sister and she takes care of them so fucking no one is allowed to look at her the wrong way. She's strong and Chuuya's sure that she put Ace in his place without hesitation. Still, he can't help but protect her, she's family to him. His younger self didn't expect that Dazai felt the same protectiveness about the older woman.

"Damn right!" His voice is loud and filled with pride as a smirk finds its way on his face. Their younger versions can't hear him but that's alright.

_____

Real Dazai is currently in Ane-san's office, sitting on one of the dangerously comfortable chairs, watching the elegant woman talk with Chuuya while they both sip their tea out of fancy cups. Chibi just told the elegant woman who her unwanted admirer is and he also told her the little things Dazai did.

"That little prankster," Ane-san grins amused with a proud expression in her eyes. "And you're going to keep pranking him until I confront him, yes?" Chuuya nods eagerly. "Mhm, it's truly unfortunate that I have so many appointments, don't you think? I certainly won't be able to make room for putting Ace in his place until Monday next week."

"Truly unfortunate," the tiny redhead parrots with a grin. "Say, what color would suit him the best?"

"He hates brown so I think the color would look great on him," Ane-san suggests, grinning until she sees the displeased expression Chuuya makes. "What is it, lad?" She asks concerned, grin dropped as she lowers her teacup.

"Dazai's hair is brown," he mutters, "I don't want that scumbag to have his hair color." Ane-san looks at him, eyes wide with surprise and then she lowly chuckles. Dazai is just dying right now. How could Chuuya say something so innocent and adorable? He must be dead and by some mistake of higher entities misplaced in heaven. There's no other explanation for Chuuya's cute behavior and the teen doesn't even realize the impact of his sentence, all the implications hidden in his simple statement.

"You're right," the older woman reassures, a knowing look on her face but she doesn't comment on Chuuya's behavior as she continues their topic and the memory fades away.

_____

"Just think about it!" Dazai is trying to convince him that they should create their own codes instead of using the mafia ones. "It would be so much fun!"

"How the fuck would it be fun?" His younger version responds, eyes still focused on the paperwork he's doing.

"We'd be done with missions way faster," now Chuuya does send the bastard a glare because he is supposed to write a report but instead he keeps going on and on about inventing their own code. His younger version thought the mafia codes were already fast and efficient, god, he's so wrong about it that it hurts real Chuuya. Also, Dazai's right, it's way more fun to see the confusion in his enemy's eyes while saying things like 'fake flower's lie'.

"We'd be done with this paperwork faster if you would fucking write the report already!"

"Think about it," the bag of bandages completely ignored his little outburst. "We can add more strategies and we can name them however we want! That is going to confuse our enemies which makes it less boring," then he looks at his younger version with an innocent expression on his face as he uses his final argument: "You could also use verses of your favorite poems, you know?" Now Chuuya's intrigued, finally putting his pen down to put his attention fully on the nuisance in front of him.

"You always make fun of poems though," he narrows his eyes and Dazai smiles at him.

"I'll stop if you agree to create codes with me," he singsongs and Chuuya agrees way too fast. They start to list any attack combination, any strategy that could be useful, and come up with names and phrases Chuuya dutiful documents on paper. He is going to burn it after memorizing any single item on that list. And as if their own code system wasn't enough already the brunet insisted that he'd learn Morse-Code because it certainly would come in handy one day. Well, the bastard wasn't wrong. It was rather useful to be able to communicate like that.

_____

They're on a mission using their own codes for the first time and Chibi did really look like he had fun watching the ability user they're up against gazing at them in utter confusion. His younger self thinks it's best if they lured the opponent into false safety whereas the tiny redhead thinks it's best to just flatten him to the ground and since their speaking in code it sounds like this:

"A tip of bone torn from its flesh" - his genius plan

"Sound of a brook comes down" - Chibi's stupid plan

"There's no shine to it" -him, trashing Chuuya's idiotic plan

"The water running from a spout" - his dog barking useless strategies

"It's the days of our lives" - he insists

"O unknown fire bursting in air!" - Chuuya, kindly telling him to fuck off but then: "Tightrope walker in between old stones" he finally agrees. It's so much fun confusing their enemies and he never would admit it but he actually adored the poem verses Chuuya used for their codes. It's a shame they don't get to use them nowadays. Apart from them being on different sides now, it was also not as important anymore. They grew up and didn't need to speak in full code anymore, the simple phrases were enough, no need for full-blown conversations. But Dazai still misses those moments. It's their version of inventing codes to write each other notes in class like normal kids would do, just that their codes ended with a lot of dead people.

_____

Chuuya would never admit it but the verses he used for the code were from his own poems. He wasn't good at it since it was just a hobby, filling an empty piece of paper with words that rhymed and were colorful in their own way was just his escape. It was a coping mechanism, hell, he even wrote a few poems about Dazai. Okay, he didn't write a few, he lost count of how many pages he filled with words dedicated to the younger teen. The rhymes are safely locked away where the brunet would never look for them: Between the paperwork stacks of Chuuya's apartment. Their younger selves were done with the mission way faster than they had ever been before and decided to celebrate in the arcade.

_____

If you would ask Chuuya how often Dazai and he used to go to the arcade he would've told you that they didn't go there that often. And he would've been a liar 'cause holy shit Chuuya can't recall challenging each other to arcade games almost daily. Honestly, the executive could name every single game they played because he watched those memories over and over again. If they weren't betting on slightly different things each time and talking about varying themes he would've assumed to be stuck in a loop. But because he already saw countless memories about them in the arcade, he knew something was off in the current one. They were alone. No one was in the whole arcade which was never the case before. No other players, no employees, just them. Their younger selves seemed unbothered by it, concentrating on their games and also not realizing the weird lighting the place had. It seemed so much brighter than usual. Apart from that they had also jumps in time but not the ones that happened to show him a new memory, no, weird jumps that didn't seem to do much and were random. Just what the fuck was going on? Dazai's memory was dangerously accurate so why did it fail now? Chuuya concluded that it could be the ability being weird because maybe Dazai found a way out of it trying to get to him. Yeah, that's the most logical explanation so he just has to wait while the bandage waster is trying to pull him out of the ability. All he has to do is wait; easy and boring.

"You cheated!" His younger self accuses him as he stares at the 'you lost' screen, his hands slamming down on each side of the machine as Dazai just laughs.

"I didn't, you're just a sore loser!" The brunet mocked him with a teasing grin and his younger self jumped over the arcade games to stand right next to Dazai, starting to inspect the other's arcade machine.

"Am not! We're switching machines!" His younger self demands and when the mackerel doesn't move he's shoving him around until he's standing in front of the console. "There, tough luck beating me now, asshole!"

"As if I need luck for that, Chibi," the other singsongs, "you're so tiny, you probably can't reach the controls and that's why you keep losing~"

"You ass!" Suddenly his younger self is gripping the other's collar, yanking him down, "I'm still growing!" Yeah, sadly not that much, which sucked since Dazai is such a fucking beanpole. Dazai grins down at him.

"My curse can not be broken," the bastard reminds him of their first meeting, "Therefore, you'll stay like this forever and there's nothing you can do about it." There's a smirk on his face as he leans a bit farther down and real Chuuya's a bit confused because his younger self didn't punch that stupid smirk out of the other's face like he usually would've done by now.

"Yeah?" His younger version mimics the other's smirk, teasing tone, which -again- was a bit out of character for them because he would've kicked or punched the idiot already. "Watch me." Chuuya is so fucking confused, sure he can't remember every conversation they had over the years in the exact wording but he's damn sure this never happened, and- his thoughts come to a halt as he watches his younger self yank Dazai down farther until-

They're kissing.

What. The. Fuck. They never kissed! He sure would remember shutting that bastard up that way and he didn't fucking do that; ever. He daydreamed about it, sure, hoping it would happen as he low-key tried to flirt with the younger teen at eighteen to test the waters, yes, but this is not supposed to be in this memory-ability-thingy. Is this why people went berserk? Because they were fed with mirages? What the hell is going on?! He watches their younger selves making out because it's like a car crash, he just can't bring himself to look away and Dazai is melting against his younger version, arms finding their way to his hips as his younger version is sneaking his hands up his neck, to pull the other closer. The ability is taunting him, showing off what he never did. The fucking audacity to show it like this, right in front of him. His hope that Dazai has found a way out of the ability died. It can't be Dazai's doing, that's for sure. The detective would never use them making out as a sign that he found a way to end the ability. So why is this happening? Why is- It's dark. He's not standing in the arcade anymore, their younger selves kissing like their life depended on it nowhere in sight. Gradually his eyes get used to the darkness, perceiving his surroundings and from the looks of it, he is standing in Dazai's container. To be precise, he is standing right next to Dazai's bed and the teenager is staring at the ceiling. Chuuya understands absolutely nothing.

"Great, now I dream of him," the brunet mumbles, voice rough from sleep, and oh: It was a dream. Of course, it was. Damn, was he stupid? The bandage waster even told him what dreams were like so he should've been able to distinguish all the characteristics. But no, he just had been confused by it all. To be fair, this was the first dream-like experience he ever had, so yeah, guess it's not that astonishing that he couldn't figure it out. He can't suppress the smile that is forming on his lips: The younger teen dreamed of them kissing. It wasn't the ability playing with his heart in the most cruel way. Dazai's mind is just playing tricks on him and for the first time in his life, he is glad that he doesn't dream, and fucking pissed that he can't dream at the same time. His eighteen-year-old self would've surely appreciated being able to kiss Dazai in dreams. I knew those rom-coms were messing with me, the brunet thinks bitterly, lifting his head so his hand can grab the pillow underneath to press it against his head. Not in a suffocating way, though one never truly knew with Dazai, but it seemed to be a gesture of frustration.

_____

Real Dazai watched one of the countless memories of them being in the arcade. He loved this place, loved how they challenged each other, betting on who'd win the next game. It was, apart from Chuuya's apartment, a place where they could simply be stupid teens. It's almost a miracle that the owner never kicked them out because Chuuya was such a sore and loud loser. Maybe the owner realized what this place meant to them or at least what it meant to Dazai: it was an escape. Where he could let go and just beat his crush at any game they played. It's no wonder that the only dreams he had between the ocean of nightmares that haunted his sleep until the point where he refused to fall victim to them by staying awake, were at the arcade. With Chuuya. Always with Chuuya. Sometimes they just played games, but most of the time they kissed in those dreams, and it was both a blessing and torture because those dreams just showed him what he could never have. It was bittersweet, just like watching these long-gone times. He didn't beat Chuuya at the arcade anymore and he'd never get to do so ever again, because the executive surely isn't too keen on being near him after they're out of this hell of an ability.

_____

"As soon as you made up with him you didn't hang out with us anymore and now you're crawling back because your sweetheart has to help Kouyou-san?" Oda said, sounding all petty but his little jealous act was betrayed by the way he tousled through Dazai's hair with that big smile on his face. "Glad you're on good terms with that kid," the older male dropped his attitude while removing his hand from the brunet's head.

"Tell us everything," the bureaucrat chimed in while gesturing to the barkeeper to bring three drinks. "How was the late birthday party he threw for you, hm?" Chuuya is surprised that the government asshole seems to be genuinely interested in Dazai's life. "Wait, before you do: Did you ask him if he's still angry like Oda told you to?"

"Oh right, I never told you," the teen sounded somewhat guilty, "Okay, so: I asked him the next morning. He was making breakfast and-"

"What did he make?" The red-haired man wanted to know and the government guy rolled his eyes.

"Oda, I swear to god, shut up about food!" Dazai chuckles as he listens to the little quarrel the older men had.

"It's important though," he defended his question, "if it's something that takes a lot of preparation it would show that he's really dedicated."

"He baked a cake already," the bureaucrat deadpanned. "It's clear as day that he's dedicated."

"He made pancakes," Dazai let his friends know, a smile on his face as he remembered the morning. "And he sliced a few berries and made hot chocolate. It was delicious." He looked so dreamy and the two adults seemed to notice it too because both couldn't hide their smiles.

"You ate?" Oda carefully asks. Oh, so that was what made the two men smile like that. They knew about Dazai's concerning eating habits.

"Of course I did, I'm pretty sure he would've killed me otherwise. That's why I ate three pancakes even though I could've stopped at the first one," he informs his friends, sounding averse but his soft smile betrays him. The brunet did enjoy Chuuya's cooking and Chuuya enjoyed that the other had a healthy meal in his stomach. Okay, some might argue that pancakes aren't healthy but any meal is healthy if one looks at Dazai's usual meals. If he eats at all, that is.

"Keep the kid," Oda advises without missing a beat, resulting in a blushing Dazai, which means his ears are all red and he tries to hide how much that comment affects him. Adorable.

"Yeah, you should. When are we going to meet your dream-boy?" The bureaucrat starts to tease with a grin on his face and Dazai just dies a little inside. The barkeeper is bringing them their drinks and the teen uses it as a distraction, as he lifts his glass in the air.

"Anyways, we should start drinking, right?" He tries to change the topic and it's so cute. Ango and Oda exchange a look, a grin on their lips as they pick up their whiskey glasses.

"You're right," the government guy agrees with him to lull him into a false sense of security when he bumps his glass with Dazai's, and the teen is visibly relaxing, thinking his topic change succeeded.

"Yeah," Oda mimics his friend, bumps their glasses, and right when Dazai takes a sip from his whiskey, he adds in a blunt voice: "When are we meeting your sweetheart?" Chuuya almost felt sorry for Dazai, who just coughed because Oda's comment made him choke. Almost. It was funny to watch Dazai be at the receiving end of teasing jokes.

"He's not my sweetheart!" The teen screeched, voice breaking while his ears lit up in that cute pinkish-red. "And I'll never introduce him to either of you!" He yells voice rough from the coughing fit. So he downs his whiskey in one go, hoping to make his voice sound normal once more.

"Aw don't be like that," the bureaucrat laughs. "We have to meet him. It's like our job to embarrass you in front of your crush. That's what friends do," he teases, hands gently soothingly petting the teen's shoulder.

"Yeah, we'll let him know how much you talk about him," Oda mocks him, while affectingly tousling his hair once more, but Dazai moves away, deciding to stand up from the barstool. Oh, they reached Dazai's limit at taking jokes about this topic. Like Albatross did after the party.

"Don't you dare!" God, the teen sounded so panicked and -dare he say it- terrified, ready to burst at any second, and the older males seemed to realize it too.

"Hey, we're only joking, you know that, right?" Oda carefully moves towards Dazai, who moves his head away with a stubborn look on his face and Chuuya isn't sure if it's just the lighting in this place or if Dazai's eyes are really covered in a shiny and watery veil.

"It's not funny. If you tell him how much I talk about him, he'll assume I'd gossip and then he is angry at me and never wants to be near me ever again," he explains and damn, he's really thinking that, isn't he? He's just the manifestation of insecurity and Chuuya just wants to hug it all out.

"We're not telling him anything," the bureaucrat reassures. "Come sit down, I'll order a new round, okay?" Dazai hesitates a few moments but then he nods, sitting down between the two adults. Ango makes a gesture and the barkeeper prepares them new drinks. "All the things we said were jokes."

"We just want to meet the kid that makes you talk for hours with that dreamy smile on your face. We would never do something to ruin your chances with him," Oda promises as he places his hand on the other's back. Dazai is just humming, emotionally exhausted from all the stress the situation caused him. "You could bring him here or we could go to the arcade or a karaoke bar. Anything you want."

"Mhm, he's a lightweight so karaoke sounds alright I guess," the brunet smirked, "I'm sure he can howl like a dog." Yup, the bastard was feeling alright again if he could make jokes like that. "But won't it be weird to introduce him to you?"

"Did he introduce you to his friends?" The government guy asks and Dazai is losing himself in a memory for a few seconds. Thinking about the party he went to and how Chuuya did insist on meeting the flags, dragging him toward their tree. Dazai smiles.

"He did," it sounds dreamy but the watery veil is once again covering his eyes as he thinks about everything that happened after the party, how Albatross befriended him, and how he died.

"Great, then it won't be weird," Oda says in a calm voice, and then they keep silent for a few moments. Each of them sipped their drinks, lost in thoughts. "So," the red-haired man breaks the silence, "you haven't told us how your party went." And Dazai starts to retell what happened, a dreamy smile on his face.

_____

Chuuya was standing in one of the mafia-owned safe houses watching his younger self and the brunet as they stitched each other up. Well, his younger version was stitching Dazai up, who got injured as he hacked into the security system to delete their tracks. He was surprised by two goons that sneaked at him. Which shouldn't be possible considering that the younger teen was attentive during missions, always checking his surroundings because he knew he'd only be able to eliminate their opponents when they didn't see him coming. Dazai could fight and he knew where he had to land his hits so his enemies screamed in agonizing pain, that's why he was so excellent at torturing their prisoners but the thing is, his torture sessions were in a controlled and safe environment (for him), and fighting isn't. Dazai simply lacked the required strength for combat and that wasn't a problem because it's Chuuya's part to tear their opponents apart. So the younger teen did the only logical thing when faced with a fist or in this case a knife fight: trying to get to Chuuya as fast and uninjured as possible. His younger self easily defeated those assholes and then he started to argue with Dazai because his strategy was too reckless.

"Bite," he ordered, moving a rag in front of the brunet's mouth. Dazai followed the command and Chuuya couldn't hold his comment back: "Who's the dog now, hm?" He teased, petting the other's hair, and ignored the other's glare. He just tried to distract the younger teen and maybe get back at him a tiny teeny bit. "Simple running suture or simple suture?" Chuuya's younger version asked as he opened the custom first aid kid every safe-house contained, looking at his supplies: different forceps, needle holders, needle and thread combinations, suture scissors, a big bottle of saline, plasters in varying sizes, and lots of bandages. "Mhm, no gloves," he mumbles mostly to himself as he moves his hands to rummage through the kit, but Dazai stops him with a soft kick. "What?" He gets an eye-roll in return and the tactically generated sounds that Dazai's right foot makes on the floor:

Short-short-short-short
Short-long
Long-short
Long-short-short
Short-short-short

"Huh?" Chuuya looks at his hands. He has his gloves on like usual. "What's wrong with my hands- oh, right." There's blood on his gloves and he would've just reached into the kit smearing it everywhere and risking the sterile tools to be contaminated with some random goons germs. He sighs, reluctantly removing his gloves, and gets up to wash his hands. He graciously removes the rag from Dazai's mouth because it's going to be a while till they really start.

"You're so slow, slug," the younger teen comments, and his younger version tells him to shut up, very kindly as he vanishes into the bathroom. It's going to hurt like hell. And yup, that's accurate. Stitches hurt immensely but his wounds need to be treated. Dazai's pain tolerance was questionably high for someone who doesn't like pain but Chuuya assumed he just got used to it through his suicide attempts which wasn't reassuring at all. Honestly, that just made it far worse. His younger version leaves the bathroom to once again kneel in front of the younger teen. "You're such a good dog, kneeling so well-behaved in front of your-" His younger version jumped up and shoved the rag roughly back into the younger teen's mouth. It didn't tune out the chuckles but at least the asshole couldn't talk. So easy to tease. The younger Chuuya is carefully searching for gloves in the kit and quickly finds them. He had to take off his gloves because I was too stupid to not get injured, and Chuuya did appreciate the slight guilt that was laced into the thought but the future detective had 'misplaced' priorities to put it mildly. Who in their right mind cared for something like that when they had a big knife wound in their left side? Dazai was never one for common sense and it showed.

"Simple running suture or simple suture?" His younger self repeats the question as he puts on the gloves, which made him feel less exposed. He gets all the tools ready while waiting for the other to morse an answer with his foot. Mori had drilled first aid and advanced measures such as stitching wounds into them. The former underground doctor had taught them many different stitches and expected them to be able to perform them without hesitation and perfectly. In the beginning, he quizzed them regularly and made them practice with weird silicone mats. Dazai, of course, had little trouble learning all kinds of stitches with his stupid prodigy brain. Mori was very proud of how quickly Dazai had internalized all the stitches after such a short time. The redhead was pretty sure that if Mori wouldn't be the boss of the mafia but simply a guardian to the younger teen, he would've forced Dazai to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor. Chuuya found it so damn hard to memorize the individual stitches while being able to tell them apart. He felt like a student who had to struggle through vocabulary and stupid formulas. But in the end, Mori was also satisfied with his work. He was so pleased that he told him to take care of Dazai's wounds. Of course, Chuuya's priority was always to prevent the younger man from needing stitches at all. The sound of Dazai communicating via Morse-Code ripped him out of his thoughts:

Short-long-short
short-short-long
long-short
long-short
short-short
long-short
long-long-short

"Running?" Chuuya clarified looking up to see Dazai nod. "Okay, then brace yourself, this is gonna hurt." His younger self was glad that the brunet chose the running suture because it was fast and it also meant that the wound didn't hurt as much because Dazai tended to choose the simple suture to demand a small break between each stitch, which usually happens when he was in immense pain. The running stitch was faster but the older teen couldn't take breaks once he started. Chuuya is grabbing the kelly forceps and moving it to the wound to spread it open. Damn, it was lucky that the cut was located on his torso and not his arms or legs. The younger teen was defensive of the every bandaged covered body part but his arms and legs were extremely important to him, causing him to get feisty if one tries to remove them. He fucking bit Chuuya once! So now the older teen is glad that Dazai didn't put up a fight as Chuuya carefully cuts his bandages apart, promising to help him to become a mummy again after he stitched him up. "Mhm, surprisingly clean," he informs the other as he changes his position to look for foreign objects. He puts the forceps down. It's a one-use plastic tool, like every instrument in the medical kit to assure that they would, in fact, be sterile. Chuuya is pulling a little sterile tray out of a package, then he opens the bottle of saline, carefully pouring a little bit into the tray and then he opens the aseptic wipes to dip them into the liquid. "Want to attempt to crush my hand while I clean your wound?" He asks with a mocking grin, holding up his left hand so Dazai could grab it, which he does and the redhead mentally prepares himself for the pain that the grip is going to cause him. Dazai is rather weak, yes, but it still hurts. The brunet let him crush his hand back when they were fifteen and he had a knife rammed into his back and Chuuya admits that he did use the opportunity to hurt the bastard, putting way more force into his grip even if he didn't feel pain. Dazai never held it against him and he was sure the younger teen must've known that he did it out of hatred back then. That's the reason as to why he lets the younger teen squeeze his hand like a boa. "Ready?" The brunet must have squeezed his younger self hand back then, because the teen just starts to wipe the wound in one motion. He repeats the process using a new wipe every time. I didn't hurt him, did I? Okay, that's adorable as fuck. The teen was worrying about his hand and Chuuya won't lie: it hurt to have your hand crushed even if a noodle-armed teen like Dazai did it. But it wasn't bad enough to be feeling guilty about it, besides, Chuuya had offered it so he was okay with it. "You did good," his younger self praises, knowing it would ease the other's mind while he lightly squeezed Dazai's hand, "I need my hand now." The brunet let go and Chuuya grabbed the needle holder and the needle and thread combination working both tools to have the curved needle be mounted at a 90 degree angle between the teeth of the needle holder. "Want me to talk?" He gently asks. Sometimes Dazai needed him to ramble on about random things and sometimes he would demand the older teen to stop, so Chuuya just let the brunet choose.

Long-short-long-long
Short
short-short-short

"Mhm, let me think of something interesting...ah, remember the time you walked in on Mori and that news girl?" Dazai made a disproving sound. "So you do. Well, I walked in on the girl flirting with Hirotsu," he used the thumb forceps to pinch the wound edge so he could thread the needle through the skin, "poor gramps was utterly confused by it," he used the thumb forceps to pull the needle out of the tissue leaving a little suture 'tail' at the entrance point, "and she didn't even stop as I was asking him something," he pushed the needle in on the other side of the wound, forceps holding the skin next to the wound, "so rude, right?" Dazai makes an agreeing noise that turns into a hiss as Chuuya pushes the needle through the skin once more. He then uses his needle holder to grab the suture 'tail' to knot three instrumental ties. "Gramps was so embarrassed," Chuuya makes another stitch, "and he seemed angry that she just kept going after I showed up," another stitch, "you know how he is," another stitch, "and her attempts were getting so out of hand," another stitch, "that he excused us," another stitch, "and while we were walking away," another stitch, "he was apologizing for her shameless behavior," another stitch, "I just told him not to worry about it," another stitch, the last one, "and informed him about her last sex adventure", he knots the suture with three instrumental ties once more, switching the thumb forceps for a pair of suture scissors cutting the excess of. The wound looked like the seam of a baseball and damn, the stitches were so parallel that was probably his best running suture ever. "You should've seen his face, so priceless," he laughs a bit, "I'm done by the way." Dazai spit out the rag.

"When did this happen?" Was the first thing the brunet wanted to know, staying on the chair because he knew the older teen would help to wrap him up in white gauze once more.

"Ah, I think a day, eh, maybe two days ago?" Chuuya wonders out loud, opening a package of bandages. "Mhm, I think it's best if you stand up. Can you do that?"

"And you left me in the dark for two agonizing days?! I always deliver you the sweetest gossip as promptly as possible and you wait two days?" The younger teen voices his betrayal slowly standing up from the chair to let Chuuya work. "You're so mean!"

"Oh my god, I told you now, didn't I? And it helped you get through this so shut up about it, you mummy in progress," Chuuya responds, annoyed at the other's dramatic act. "Arms up." Dazai complies with a sulky huff and they stay silent till Chuuya finishes his task to make a true mummy out of the younger teen once more.

"I sleep on the bed. You take the couch," Dazai announced as if his younger self would've let the injured and freshly stitched boy sleep on the couch. "You cheated on me."

"Cut the bullshit! Sharing gossip with other people is not cheating!" He defended himself, before coming to his senses: "We're not in a relationship!"

"Oh my, multiple people?" The bandage waster skillfully ignores his last comment. "You're sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life," why is Dazai so good at playing the pissed off wife? His thoughts were all content and amused about how riled up Chuuya was. But he also was a bit hurt that the older teen didn't share the gossip sooner.

"Whatever."

_____

He was pretty sure this was a dream. The pacing of the memory was weird again and the surroundings were somewhat distorted, creating an unpleasant feeling that was reinforced by the dark surroundings. It wasn't even cloudy or anything, it was just darker than it would normally be. Chuuya had just seen a few moments of the dream but he decided he liked the arcade dream way more than whatever this will turn out to be. He followed the teens through the city as they were sent on a mission by Mori. Chuuya blinked and they were walking through a forest. Suddenly his younger self disappeared, was gone without a trace.

"Chuuya?" Dazai dream self asks. But as he didn't get a response, he started to aimlessly walk through the forest calling out, trying to find him. Panic filling his mind and his surroundings reacted to it, the forest morphing into the typical scary woods you'd see in horror movies. Oh, it's a nightmare, isn't it?

"Oh, grantors of dark disgrace. May ye never wake me again," Chuuya's nightmare version echoed through the woods.

"No," Dazai's eyes wide with fear, "no, no," he repeats like a broken record, turning in circles around himself, as he tries to focus on everything to triangulate where the voice came from. "I don't know where you are!" He screams, hoping he'd hear something but the forest was silent. Too silent. The younger teen couldn't even sprint into the direction of the loudest noise because there wasn't any sound reaching his ears. Dazai's head snapped into a direction and he started run. Chuuya was ready to sprint with him but he didn't have to because the younger teen didn't move at all, just his surroundings moved past him, making him more and more frustrated by any passing second. "Chuuya!" He screamed into the forest and the forest came to an end. The clearing they reached was destroyed: Large craters deforming the meadow, trees destroyed lying around like some giant tried to play Mikado, and in the center of all that destruction was Chuuya. Dazai rushed to him, sliding down the hill, tripping over the debris as he desperately tried to reach the older teen. As soon as he is in range, he drops to his knees next to Chuuya and immediately grabs his wrist to check his pulse. He seems to feel a plus, because he exhales in relief. "Everything's going to be alright. I'm gonna stitch you up and everything's going to be alright," he reassures but it most likely is to put his own mind at ease because no stitches in the world could save Chuuya's body. To call the holes in his body wounds would be an understatement, god, Chuuya felt nauseous looking at a mirror image of his own self looking so dead. Dazai pulls a medical kit out of nowhere and the executive remembers that people in dreams just accept whatever is happening, in this case it's the medical kit that the younger teen opens. He's rummaged through the surgery tools, trying to find the needle and the needle holder in the endless seeming kit. The brunet finds them and rips their package apart, holding the tools in his hands and stares at them in panic. "I- I don't know how to use the tools," he stutters, tears blurring his vision, "but don't worry, I'll figure this out in no time," his voice is getting higher, tears spilling from his eyes. Fuck, real Chuuya is crying too. This is his own fear: being eaten up by corruption.

"I trusted you," the nightmare version of Chuuya said, breathing stertorously, his voice barely a whisper.

"I know and I'm here, I'll fix this, don't worry. I got it all under control, like always," he lies to both of them. "Hush now, don't talk, okay? You can scream at me later," he laughs but it's too high-pitched and real Chuuya flinches at the sound, at the attempt to radiate normality when everything is falling apart. "You're going to scream at me later."

"You failed me," his nightmare version accuses him, voice full of hatred, and now it's Dazai who flinches. Shaking his head, tears running out of his eyes. "I didn't," Dazai shakes his head again, can't seem to stop the motion. "I didn't," his words start to burr into each other and his breath starts to pick up. "I'm here," he repeats. "Everything's going to be alright."

"It's okay," the voice of his nightmare self is sounding sickeningly sweet as he places a bloody hand on Dazai's cheek. "I knew you'd let me down," is whispered in a soothing voice, a knowing smile on his nightmare self's face and then the hand slips.

"I didn't! I'm here, I-" Dazai caught the hand, and felt the pulse once more. More tears swelled up in his eyes. "No, no, stop," he presses the lifeless hand against his cheek. "It's not funny, Chuuya," he says, closing his eyes, causing his tears to get caught in his lashes like dew gets caught in spider webs. "Stop playing dead," he demands, his voice more like a snarl. "You weren't supposed to use it. So why- You should've waited! You should've- you-" A sob interrupts him. "If you come back, I'll stop making height jokes! I even-" Another sob leaves his mouth. "I'll stop calling you my dog, okay?" He pleads but silence is the only answer he gets. "Just come back. I- You're not- You can't be- you-" His sobs get louder and longer until he can't talk through them anymore as he gasps for air, getting way too little oxygen into his lungs as he wails. Tears leave his eyes non-stop and real Chuuya is watching Dazai's breakdown while having his own. It's his worst fear. Just the other way around. If the executive was able to dream, he'd be haunted by nightmares similar to this one. But he'd be using Corruption and the younger teen would refuse to nullify the ability, letting him die because he never cared. It's almost laughable that they both fear this scenario for different reasons. Chuuya fears the other would abandon him like everyone else did and Dazai feared he wouldn't be able to reach him in time, feared that he would fail him. God, they both should see a therapist. And while Chuuya starts to say sweet nothings to the other teen, a useless venture since he couldn't hear him anyways, the surroundings change. His eyes get used to the darkness and he realizes he's standing in the safe-house once more. The younger teen was awakened by his own crying fit, and he seems to know exactly where he is, because he tries to keep his sobs down, which only makes them get louder. It's just a nightmare, stop being this pathetic. God, he wanted to hug the teen so badly right now to comfort the shaking boy and tell him that it's not pathetic at all and that he'd be wailing too if he could have a nightmare like that. Wait, the redhead remembers this: His younger version is sleeping on the couch but he'll wake up soon thinking that he fucked up stitching the other's wound if he's crying this loudly. And fuck, Chuuya feels relieved as he remembers the talk they had. At least his stupid self didn't ruin it and was actually able to comfort the brunet.

"Dazai?" His younger self asks, sounding disorientated from sleep as he sits up on the couch, waiting for a response. Dazai is pressing his hands in front of his mouth in a desperate attempt to silence his cries and sobs. Chibi's alive. Stop it. He fails and the older teen is wide awake, jumping over the backrest of the couch. "Fuck, what's wrong?" He wants to know and his voice is rough both from his sleep and the fear settling in his stomach that eats him up because whatever had the pain-resistance prodigy wailing like a kid must be something terrible. He stumbles to the bed in the dark room that is faintly lit by the city lights and uses his ability to have an additional light source. "Talk to me!" He demands as he reaches the bed and the younger teen tries to speak but his voice is too high and the sobs interrupt him which means he can't really form words. "Is your wound causing you pain?" A hectic head shake is the answer. "You're not hurt?" A nod. He tries to talk again and Chuuya interrupts him: "Hush now, don't talk, okay?" And his younger self was insanely confused why those words got the other to cry louder. Damn, what was the likelihood that he would use the exact wording that Dazai had dreamed of? No wonder that he dissolved even more, crying louder as he was reminded of the scene from his nightmare. His younger self was overloaded by all of this because he didn't knew what the fuck was wrong and he just wanted the other to shut up to collect his breath first. "Think you'll be able to morse it?" His younger self suggests with a desperate edge to his voice. A nod is his answer. "Okay, let's try," he gently reaches for the other's hand -cringes at how wet it is- and micromanages it to grip his arm. "So, what's wrong?" Dazai starts strategically tapping Chuuya's arms with his right index finger. It's shaking a bit and the younger teen has to make small breaks after each letter to get his shaking body under control but he does manage to morse:

Long-short
Short-short
Long-long-short
Short-short-short-short
Long
Long-Long
Short-long
Short-long-short
short

"A nightmare?" The question left his mouth hesitantly because he couldn't believe that dreams could be so bad that they could make Dazai cry like that. "Didn't know they could be this...intense," he admits. The silence between them gets interrupted by sobs, but they are decreasing as Dazai's breath starts to even out slowly. "Want me to stay? Or should I leave you-" His younger version couldn't finish his sentence because Dazai used the grip he had around his arm to pull him back down. Chuuya yelps, startled by the unexpected movement, and had he not had such good reflexes he would surely have just fallen on top of Dazai, but he managed to catch himself, one hand just beside Dazai's head and the other hitting his chest, causing the air to escape from the younger teen's lungs. "You idiot! You could have loosened the sutures!" Dazai doesn't react to Chuuya's outburst.

"Don't leave," he whines and it's the first time ever that Chuuya hears him actually whining and not just faking it like he does when he doesn't want to work. "Stay," his voice is strained from crying and his younger self is taken aback by the request because he would've assumed that Dazai would want to be alone and that he didn't want to be seen this vulnerable. Well, if Chuuya would've had a nightmare where Dazai died, he also would've wanted him close by after waking up, just to ground himself.

"Okay," his younger self sure as hell wasn't going to leave a crying Dazai alone if he wanted him to stay. "Scooch over, mackerel," and the younger teen did, right after he let go of Chuuya's arm. So now his younger self is reaching for the blanket, lifting it up so he can lay down right next to Dazai. The bed is small, they're in a safe-house and not a hotel room after all, so their shoulders brush and there's a lot of contact in general. It wasn't uncomfortable though but the silence between them was rather awkward, only interrupted by the last quiet sobs that left the younger teen's mouth from time to time. "So," young Chuuya starts feeling somewhat nervous about their whole situation, "wanna talk about it?" I had this nightmare and you died because I am too much of a failure to do anything about it...yeah no, can't say that, are the bitter thoughts that reach Chuuya. As the teen doesn't answer his younger self right away, he looks over to him, seeing the faded lights of the city illuminate his face. The light highlights the tear streaks on his cheeks and real Chuuya remembered how he thought that it looked as if someone brushed gold on his cheeks.

"I can't remember most of it," Dazai lies and Chuuya can't blame him. He would've lied too in his place. "You know how dreams are," the brunet tries to downplay it and his younger self lets his gaze wander to the ceiling.

"No, I don't," his younger version slowly says. "I've never dreamed." He can't remember why he felt the need to say it but he's glad he did.

"Never?" The younger teen asks as he moves his head to look at Chuuya's younger self. "Wanna switch?" It's quiet for a while after that question. But Chibi and my nightmares? Dazai thinks and before his younger self can answer, the younger teen backpedals: "Mhm, now that I think about it, not even an annoying Chibi like you would deserve my nightmares," his younger self just snorts so Dazai keeps talking, "are you sure you don't dream? Maybe you just can't remember, many people can't recall their dreams."

"No, it's not like that. I just don't dream, I think it has to do with Arahabaki and me not being hum-" he gets interrupted when Dazai's left hand lands on his face and succeeds in cutting his sentence off. "What the fuck, you bastard?!"

"Stop," he demands, his hand still resting on Chuuya's face because his younger self didn't want to hurt him by ripping it off right away. "You're not allowed to deprive yourself of your humanity," the younger teen declares, lifting his hand up as he speaks, astounded that Chuuya didn't forcefully remove it by now. "So if I have to intervene every time you do, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

"Is it now?" His younger self faces Dazai again, mimicking the grin he sees on the teen's face. "Is your interference always going to result in smashing your disgusting hand in my face?"

"Anything to prevent your dysfunctional behavior." His grin gets wider and Chuuya rolls his eyes whereas his younger self shakes his head and turns his head towards the ceiling again.

"Oh, look who's talking: Mister-That's-a-nice-river-for-drowning is trying to change my dysfunctional ways, adorable."

"I do what I can."

"Sure." It's silent once more as they stare at the ceiling and his younger self is feeling tired but he can't sleep while being this aware of Dazai's body right next to him. "What is it like to dream?" He tries to start a conversation, something that will distract him from the heat of another body right next to him.

"Mhm, I could tell you more about nightmares," Dazai sighs and he remembers how his younger self was disappointed for a moment because he didn't get the distraction he needed. "But I guess the concept is the same anyway," the younger teen continues. "When you dream you accept anything that is happening. You're pacing through the halls of the mafia and suddenly you're standing in a forest. It just becomes your reality, even if it's absolutely impossible. Sometimes you see places and people you're familiar with and sometimes you're just in some random place generated by your brain. Dreams often thematize things that you or your subconscious are dealing with, for example a mission or past battles. Sometimes, however, dreams are absurd and have nothing to do with reality. But they can also be meaningful, reflecting fears or anxieties that you repress during the day. Mhm, it is also interesting that the human brain is not capable of thinking up faces, so that every face you see in a dream belongs to some person you have looked upon." Chuuya's eyes close, while Dazai's voice, still slightly scratched from crying, slowly lulls him to sleep. But the last sentence stirred him up.

"Was I in your nightmare?" His younger self voices his thoughts sounding half-asleep and he feels the way Dazai tenses up against him.

"Chuuya, I told you I can't remember-"

"Yeah, and you're trying to avoid my question," his voice is quiet as his younger self is slightly hurt by the thought of Dazai having a nightmare because of him. I can't let him think that he's the cause of any of my nightmares.

"Okay, yes, you were in it," he admits, "but it's not like you think. We were on a mission and got separated and I couldn't find you no matter how loud I called for you and then I was found by my opponents...it wasn't pretty," he explains and real Chuuya wonders if that's a different nightmare he had because it's too good of a lie, even for Dazai.

"So I'm not some monster that haunts your dreams?"

"Never." He confirms without hesitation and then because he really doesn't want Chuuya to feel bad about his nightmares, he adds: "Actually, you're in most of my good dreams."

"Yeah?" His younger self questions head turning, his expression is full of hope as he faces Dazai and the brunet chuckles.

"Yeah, just us playing in the arcade," a smile forms on Dazai's lips as he thinks about the kissing that happened in those dreams.

"Sounds nice," his younger self mumbles while closing his eyes ready to slip into a dreamless slumber once more. "Think you can sleep?"

"Probably, yeah." It's not really convincing and Chuuya watches in disbelief as his younger self turns towards Dazai and carefully places his arm over the brunet while his head rests on his shoulder. God, Dazai is right: As soon as he's sleepy he's clingy... Was he always like that or just with Dazai?

"Don't worry," his younger self reassures into the fabric of Dazai's bandages. "I'll just fight off all the monsters that terrorize your dreams." And his breath evens out a bit and Dazai must've interpreted that as a sign that he's already asleep. Otherwise, he wouldn't have voiced the thoughts racing through his mind.

"And what if I'm the monster?" Dazai whispered while he moved his hand to rest on Chuuya's back, careful to not wake him. Unnecessary. His younger self was still awake enough to react to the dysfunctional sentence the other just said and so he kicks the brunet under the blanket. "Ow," he complains quietly, thinking it was an accident of the sleeping boy until he heard the light chuckle. "What was that for?"

"I don't get to dehumanize myself so you don't get to do it either." The grin is audible in his tired voice and he shamelessly nuzzles more into Dazai. Damn, his sleeping self just didn't give a fuck about his normal inhibitions. It was so intense for him to get close to the younger teen while he was wide-awake. Shoulders brushing, light touches and stuff like that made Chuuya just burn with fear of rejection even though the brunet was so clingy and emotional when they had their little weed-session. God, the younger teen was so out of it back then, in fact, he had to promise Chuuya to never get high on weed without him around. Which was a really selfish request, yes, but Chuuya didn't care he was the only one allowed to witness Dazai's weed-induced behavior. He was also the only one who could calm the other down while Dazai cried. Chuuya's heart clenches in on itself as he thinks about all the things Dazai said while his brain was hazy from weed and alcohol and whatever had been in Dazai's system at the time. "And if I have to kick you for every dysfunctional sentence that leaves your stupid mouth, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

"Chuuya's so mean for using my own words against me," is the immediate response but it's too softly spoken to hold any weight. Dazai turns so that he is also on his side facing Chuuya who just grumbles because of the movement. "So you can kick me better," the brunet justifies his new position even though he really didn't need an excuse because Chuuya's younger self immediately snuggled closer to him, one arm pulling Dazai closer. The younger teen hisses a bit as Chuuya is resting his arm right above his wound without realizing it and the brunet isn't doing anything against it because what's pain if Chuuya hugs me? Which is so stupid but real Chuuya can't fight off the dumb smile that's trying to spread over his lips.

_____

Dazai just stares at their younger versions lying in the worn-down bed of the safe-house they're in. He watches the way Chuuya's lights up as he realizes that his younger self is still asleep because that means he didn't have a nightmare. Their position also changed: Chuuya's back was against the mattress and his younger version was half on top of him, snuggled as close as possible against Chuuya's body. The older teen didn't seem annoyed by it as his hand started to brush through the brown hair of the sleeping teen. The tiny redhead then stretched his small form to be able to reach his phone. His struggle was adorable to watch and after a while he managed to get a hold of his phone without moving too much. He was checking his emails and then he just occupied himself with mobile games until his younger self was waking up.

"No nightmare?" The tiny redhead questioned instead of greeting him and a head shake he more felt than saw was his answer. "That's good..." He stated but it was clear that he actually wanted to say more. With a heavy sigh his younger self sat up, moving away from Chuuya in the process as he slowly moved towards the edge of the bed. He could feel Chuuya's sharp gaze pierce through his back.

"Just say whatever you want to say."

"Is your sleep schedule fucked up because you stay awake to avoid nightmares?" The genuine question actually startled his younger self, making him freeze for a second, hoping that Chuuya didn't recognize the clear telltale but knowing full well that the older teen knew how to read his body language. It surprised him that Chuuya saw through his unhealthy coping mechanism this quickly. His nightmares were (and still are) the sickest stomach-turning horrors his rotten mind could come up with. Mori often starred in them, testing medications which ended in horrendous pain or terrifying changes to his body as the former doctor tried to 'fix' or punish him for failing a mission. Whenever Chuuya was in them, Dazai failed to save him from Corruption or he was facing a redhead that truly wanted him dead, sometimes both scenarios in one hell of a nightmare. In other nightmares he'd just fall to his death but never reach it, just endlessly falling without any control. Sometimes he relived grotesque versions of past missions where he failed everything and was punished for it. Dazai is aware that all of his nightmares have the same topic: Failing others and himself. His younger version tried to put an end to it by learning how to have lucid dreams but the control he had was twisted and made things actually worse. He did the next best thing and avoided nightmares altogether by not sleeping. It works. If he stays up until his body can't take it anymore, he doesn't dream but he also doesn't feel refreshed.

"Maybe," his younger self half-admits. It would be useful to deny it but he also doesn't want to be even more vulnerable in front of Chuuya. Wailing in front of Chibi all pathetic from a nightmare was bad enough, there's really no need to try to top it by talking about it. "But you really shouldn't waste your brain cells on that possibility."

"Depends," the Chibi says because of course he won't drop the topic that easily.

"On what?" His younger self snarls, getting up to turn towards Chuuya who's now sitting on the bed and watching his every movement. He didn't want to have this conversation.

"Is it always this..." he makes a pause looking for the right word but he doesn't seem to find a fitting one,"...bad?" His voice lacks its usual confidence as he takes on an uncertain tone, and Dazai's younger self hates it so much more, especially the look in Chuuya's eyes that almost borders on pity. Or is it empathy? Honestly, he doesn't know, he just knows that he hates that look.

"Doesn't matter." His younger self really didn't want to talk about it anymore so he tries to block it off and hopes that Chuuya will just take the hint but-

"It does matter."

-taking hints was something the stubborn teen didn't do well. Not because he didn't get them, no, he is well aware that his younger self doesn't want to have this conversation. Chibi just deems the topic important enough to investigate it more. Dazai thinks the redhead's stubbornness is a double-edged sword because the detective hates it during the moment it happens but he appreciates it after a while, when his anger and displeased feelings are gone. It's the reason why Chuuya is the person to pull him out of rivers and why Dazai doesn't die from an infection and why he eats and takes minimum care of himself, because Chuuya always nags him, always pushes on the messy topics even if it hurts, especially then. No matter how nasty he reacts or how hard he tries to push the other away after another failed attempt, the older teen never abandons him and never holds it against him. It shows that Chuuya cares. In this memory his younger self doesn't appreciate it and in the present...well...he abandoned Chuuya. He pushed himself out of Chuuya's life without a word.

"I'm not gonna talk about it."

"Mhm, that just shows that it does matter," Chibi insists and of course is right but that teasing smirk didn't ease his younger self into talking. His younger self just rolls his eyes and Chuuya says nothing as he silently takes in his small victory. The memory fades away and leaves Dazai in the white nothingness. They never truly talked about his nightmares because Chuuya, despite his stubbornness, knows that he won't get his younger version to talk about it. So, he does the next best thing: Be there because Chuuya is stupidly loyal. The older teen is going to help him get through the worst of it in the sweetest ways and Dazai can't wait to see those memories.


______

Author's note

Yay, we reached the fluff :D

I just love those two dorks so I drew the picture Dazai send into the chat and put it into the chapter picture thingy at the beginning ^^

So the code phrases I made them say are actually translations from Nakahara Chuuya's poems (at least if I can trust the internet lol). Some of the codes I picked from "A BONE" and the others from "SAD MORNING" just so you know :D

Also I totally think that Dazai could be the kind of person who wakes up crying from the impact of a nightmare and that feeling just sucks so much.

Like all alone in bed and you just cry and try to calm down but you also don't want to fall back to sleep again, because the possibility to have that nightmare again is to high? And it's not like you can talk to anyone because it's the middle of the night and you don't want to seem pathetic (it's not by the way, go text ur friends) so you don't text anyone and just try to convice yourself that everything is alright and it's just a stupid dream. That's the vibe I'm going with here and Dazai luckliy has Chuuya to help calm him down.