Send Me an Angel // Real Life

Our offensive line is focused in the huddle. I block out the sound of the crowd and call the play. The rest of the line is ready, waiting, intense.

"Sweep on 3!" We break the huddle, but I grab the face mask of Jeff's helmet and pull him in. "Throwing long today. Stay open."

His head isn't in this game and the scoreboard shows it. Jeff hasn't had as much playing time as we both hoped. I have no idea what's going on with him, but he avoids coach's eyes more than I avoid my dad's.

"Got it."

We set the line of scrimmage. I plant myself under center and count off. "Sixteen, twenty-one, thirty-four, hike!" The ball is in my hands. I step back and line up my throw. Jeff is at the thirty and wide open. Maybe the only good thing about him being off his game is that the other team isn't paying him much attention today. I launch the ball with the perfect spin. I know it will land. If Jeff can just hold on to it, we'll double our yardage in one play.

I hold my breath, listening as Micah and Gio knock down the defenders aiming for Jeff now that they realize he's under the ball. The catch is a beauty. Jeff pulls it right in while twisting at the waist. And he holds on, turning back toward the goal line and pressing forward. Five yards, ten, then fifteen. At twenty yards past the point of reception, Jeff is knocked out of bounds by the safety.

But we covered more than half the field with this play. First down.

The score has us three points down, damn field goal, and this could pull out the win. One more play could make it happen.

"McKinley!" Coach calls me just as we get the line going.

Seriously? He's pulling me out now, right when we have momentum? A delay could ruin what we've just opened up. But I'm a freshman so I don't argue. I've never argued with my coach, not on any team. But this coach has been in a perpetual bad mood for the entire season, so I'm tempted.

"Yeah, Coach?" I'm hoping he's just changing a play and not benching me.

"Benson is going in." Reign Benson is a fifth-year senior. He jumps off the bench and takes position. The guy red shirted his freshman year, something I'm starting to wish I considered but it would have affected my scholarship standing so it never crossed my mind.

It's when I take the bench that I notice Jeff was also pulled. I throw him a look, suddenly wondering if the two bad moods are somehow related. Jeff glances at me but just shakes his head and waves away my attention. Fine, I'll play. I won't ask the big questions.

Yet.

But I'm not sitting on the sidelines silently much longer. This shit needs to get worked out because my plans don't include a scholarship for a losing team. I watch as Benson passes the ball to our second string running back. They complete the play without a penalty, thankfully, but only gain two yards. Eight more for a first down, thirteen and we'll score. Then if we just run down the clock, we'll have another win under our helmets.

'If' is such a loaded word. As I watch, that chance of 'if' dies off. One missed short pass, another quarterback sack with a five-yard loss, and finally the last nail in the coffin.

Fumble.

The other team runs the ball a total of ninety-one yards in three plays for a touchdown. They are able to run down the clock without our team gaining a yard. We don't even gain an inch.

Game over. We lose.

***

"Fuck!"

Helmets clatter against benches as the team settles in the locker room. Mine included. I'm pissed. I put my fucking heart on that field, and so did practically this entire team. Whatever flew up Coach's ass is what kept us from the W. We had the momentum, but he pulled the plug on anything that we had rallied for. If this had been my high school team, I would have spoken up. I had that kind of position in the locker room, no matter that I led with my asshole ego. Guys listened.

But here I'm a nobody freshman. No track record or ego that guys look up to. For the most part, I like it. But today I wish I could say something about whatever the hell is going on.

"Tough loss today. McKinley you played well. Benson got the brunt of their defense and that cost us. Next practice we'll work on some alternative running plays. Change things up."

What.the.hell.

I glance around the room to see downcast eyes and blank faces. I can read the minds of every guy in the room, including Benson. Coach just downplayed the shit show out there while blaming Benson's lack of game on the other team? The same exact team I was about to score against...

I finally let my gaze land on Jeff. Coach never mentioned his name and it's not like Jeff to shrink the way he has.

The reaming I'm expecting from the coaching staff about our crappy playing never comes. They blow off the loss and turn to leave. The locker room is stone silent as guys shower and change. Jeff won't make eye contact with me, or anyone else for that matter. He just dresses and grabs his bag to leave. I hurry after him thinking he might be willing to speak away from the rest of the team.

"Bro, what is going on?" I grab his shoulder as we make it into the parking lot.

He shakes his head. "Nothing, man. Just a crap game today."

The lot is mostly empty this late after the fourth quarter. Usually Hannah would be waiting for us along with a group of friends that we've latched onto. But she's back at the dorms sick as a dog. I want to stop by and check on her, make sure she's taking the antibiotics the doctor prescribed for whatever infection she's got. They make her sick to her stomach, so she hates taking them. But she won't get better without them.

"That's one way to put it, but it was more than just a crap game. There's something up with Coach."

Jeff still won't look at me. "Not sure what you mean. I gotta head home. Kyra is making dinner and wants me there for whatever reason."

Avoidance, that's what this is. "Not buying it. Coach should have kept both of us in after that play. We had the momentum to score and he killed our chance. Why in hell would he do that?"

Jeff shrugs. "No idea. He's the coach so he makes the decisions."

I stop in my tracks, staring at my friend. Now I know there's something going on that he's not telling me. Jeff is a talker, he thinks things through, and he always has an opinion. He's never afraid to speak up when he see's something isn't right. This silent game he's got going on is a red flag if I've ever seen one.

"Look," I say as he opens his car door. "I don't know what this is, but I can tell it's something. You've been there for me, dude. I will be there for you. Whatever it is. Don't shut me out because I've been an asshole in the past. You know I'm better than that now."

Jeff closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and then looking up at me. "I'm not shutting you out. Not like that. I'm just working through some stuff. If I could talk to you about it, I would. But please, for now just leave it alone. Can you do that?"

"I can." Relief washes through me that takes me by surprise. I guess I was worried that he didn't trust me. "I'll be here when you're ready. But Jeff, if this is what's affecting our game, don't wait too long to work through it. Whatever it is."

He nods, not saying another word then getting in his car and driving home. I do the same, throwing my duffle bag in my Audi and driving to Hannah's dorm. The stadium isn't on campus, but the drive is only a few minutes. I had planned to stop and get her some snacks to settle her stomach but talking with Jeff took longer than I planned. Instead, I make a direct path to Hannah.

It's after hours. Thankfully two girls are standing outside of the dorm talking and let me in. I make regular appearances here, so they recognize me. Hannah's dorm is two flights up. I take the stairs two at a time which is faster than waiting on the slow as molasses elevator. I knock quietly in case she's sleeping then use the key she gave me with her roommate's permission.

Hannah is asleep in her bed. I'm glad to see she's getting rest. This bug has knocked her out. Her mom even tried to get her to go home and sleep it off there where she could be taken care of, but Hannah wouldn't go. I guess she's got a sensitive stomach and any little thing can mess it up.

I touch her forehead and don't feel any fever. "Baby. I'm here." I push the hair out of her face and check her bedside table for water and meds, both present. I decide to freshen up her water not knowing how long this glass has been here. When I get up Hannah opens her eyes.

"Don't go."

"I'll stay as long as you want. Just getting fresh water."

Hannah nods and I get busy with her water. When I sit back down on the edge of her bed, Hannah is wide eyed and watching me.

"How was the game?"

I shake my head. "Bad. We lost. I threw a really good pass, though. Jeff caught it and everything."

She grabs my hand. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there to cheer you on."

"You are busy getting better. What is this, day three? You should be feeling much better tomorrow with the meds in your system."

"Ugh. I hate those meds."

"Aw, poor little baby girl." Hannah sticks her tongue out at me. I laugh, glad to see a bit of her spunk coming back. She's been like a zombie for a while. I was getting worried.

"Well, I hope tomorrow I get some energy back. I've got mid-terms to study for, but my brain hasn't been cooperating."

"I'll study with you. Mid-terms will be over then it's fall break and you can relax."

"I can, but you guys have games to prep for. The big game against Wayford is that week, right?"

Wayford. The school I planned on attending before I switched it up at the last minute. I bet if I'd played for Wayford I'd be on a winning team instead of the cluster I'm playing for now.

Doesn't matter. I look at Hannah and know I made the right decision. Best choice I've ever made, actually. It brought us closer together. She's mine because I decided to stay.

"Yeah. Wayford will most likely wipe the field with our asses based on the season we're having. And it's away. I won't see you all week."

We both let that sink in. It will be the longest we've gone without seeing each other since my graduation.

"Hey," Hannah says. "Texting is what brought us together in the beginning. We can flashback to the good ole' days and text all day long. How bad could it be?"

I laugh. "Baby, you have the best outlook. Yeah, let's do that. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She's right. We've got this.

On the surface, it doesn't seem like this chapter was really eventful...but there were some key moments that are setting up events for later. So keep the nuggets of conversation in the back of your mind because in a few chapters you will say "ohhhhhhhh" and then you'll know.

On the topic of Matt, that boy has taken over my plot. I'm about four chapters ahead of posting and I will say right now that he was extremely unhappy with one of my main plot points and has fully derailed what I had planned. I'm taking a week to restructure where things are headed down the line but have no fear, the Friday Feels are firmly in place and will proceed without interruption!

Hannah is his angel...need I say more?

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Thank you so much for your love and support! I hope to connect with you elsewhere as well 💕 We are getting closer to a release date for Broken Lullaby so stand by for future announcements!