Lovesong // The Cure

I wake up to warmth in my arms and a soft snore in my ear. When I crack open one eye, I see brown hair and an arm across my chest. This scene is strangely familiar and yet one hundred percent different. I've woken up in bed with Hannah before. Last time I was hungover and confused. This time I am hyper aware of the woman next to me and my immediate reaction to her.

When did Hannah sneak into my room?

I don't move an inch. I know if I do things will stir and I'm not sure I have the required restraint this early in the morning. Damn, but I want this girl. My need for her has become elemental, but I'm not ready yet. Obviously, Hannah doesn't realize what she's done to me otherwise she wouldn't have tempted me like this. I need to make her understand without hurting her feelings. The last thing I want to do is disappoint her.

I reach down to gently brush her hair off my chest, exposing her face. Her mouth is slightly open and that soft snore I heard initially is now just a hum. I wrap both arms around her and pull her closer. I shouldn't, but I need to. Hannah's eyelashes flutter against my chest. I slept in my boxers which means there is no shirt to buffer the heat between her skin and mine.

I allow the contact to wash over me, taking me under its spell. This has to be enough right now.

"Morning." Hannah's sleepy voice floats up to me as she snuggles a little closer. "I'm sorry, Matt. I just couldn't sleep so I came to cuddle next to you. That's all I wanted."

I nod wordlessly. I'm glad she wasn't trying to seduce me because I'm hanging on by a thread as it is.

"We should get up. Eat something and get started for the day. We have to head home this afternoon."

"Nooooo." Hannah whines and hides her face in the crook of my neck. "I don't want to leave."

I have such mixed feelings. I want to stay here with Hannah in this alternate reality. But my dad is home with Mark. He's set to leave again midweek but for now it's open season at home. Mark doesn't deserve to have that kind of pain in his life.

"Baby," I whisper but say nothing else. It's a plea for her to understand.

"I know, Matt. I really do." Hannah sits up suddenly. "Let's ask Jeff if we can bring Mark over tomorrow for a pool party. Sawyer could probably use a change of scenery, too."

"That sounds perfect." I brush the stray hairs from Hannah's face as I peer up at her. She is so good, not only to me but to everyone in her life. I am so fucking scared I'm going to mess this up with her. It can't happen. I already need her too damn much.

The day gets started. Hannah and I spend it by each other's side, making plans for pool parties and pizza later in the week. While we're out by the creek, the girls laying out for some sun, the guys start an impromptu game of catch, waist deep in the cold water.

"I'm not looking forward to the heat during practice next week," Gio says. "Wish we could practice pass completion in the pool instead of the field." To punctuate his plea, Gio makes a diving catch thrown by Micah only to emerge from the water with the ball raised.

"Who is. But it's a necessary evil," I say continuing to pass the ball around the group.

"Anyone up for the music festival next weekend? I've got a set of tickets from my Uncle so it's on him." Micah thumbs back toward the resort. His uncle has set us up this weekend with everything we could have asked for. We've seen the flyers around for this music festival which is supposed to be something like a Coachella experience but in the mountains rather than the desert.

"Nah, thanks though. I've got plans with Hannah."

Pete and Gio bow out as well.

"Who's headlining?" Jeff asks passing the ball back to Micah.

"No clue, but I did hear rumors that Brianna Royce might make an appearance. It's supposed to be an all genre mix of artists."

"I've got nothing better to do, might as well. We can ride up together." Jeff surprises all of us by agreeing.

"How many tickets do you have?" Pete asks.

"Four. My friend Charlie might join us, too."

Pete nods but says nothing else. He's been really quiet today which is not like him. Normally the guy makes all kinds of comments cutting us down but today it's more like he has nothing to say to anyone.

The game wraps up after another twenty minutes and the girls are hungry. We head inside to finish off the food left over and clean out the fridge. Everyone is laughing and talking except for Pete. I don't know what crawled up his ass but I don't have the energy to work anything out with him. I hope it has nothing to do with me this time.

The group all heads out just after dinner. Kyra ends up riding with us instead of her brother and the guys for some reason. There's been a weird tension from her in the house all day, but I have no idea why.

I don't ask either one of them about it because that's the last thing I need to get wrapped up in; other people's drama. I have enough of my own to last a lifetime.

***

The summer is flying by too fast. Hannah and I have settled into a rhythm of texting and just hanging out whenever we have time. We both have practice and she's got an on-campus job at the bookstore. I wouldn't trade this summer for any other time in my life. I just wish it could last a little longer.

Thankfully, my dad has been heading up a massive project several states away. He's been gone for about six weeks and I've been able to breathe without worries the entire time. Mark is happier, I can tell. Even my mom seems more relaxed. I keep meaning to talk to her about just that fact, but I haven't jumped in there and started the conversation.

Now it's time to prepare to set up in the dorms and although I can't wait for the independence, I'm not looking forward to the stress I'll have whenever my dad is back in town. For now, I take things one day at a time. Tomorrow is move in day. I have plenty to do and packing is the top of the list.

My phone rings with a video call from Hannah.

"Hey, baby." I accept the call and set it up so I can continue packing.

"I'm never going to finish!" She huffs on her end, a mountain of clothes and books behind her on her bed. I've never been in her bedroom other than our video calls. It's always a bit of a disaster but it's never looked this messy before. Even my room is more organized than hers, and that's saying something right there.

"Hannah, just start with one pile and move on from there."

"Easy for you to say! Your mom packed all of your stuff for you!"

I look up to see the top of Hannah's head bouncing while clothes are being tossed around. I shouldn't laugh but I can't help it.

"You look like a cartoon character."

"Ugh! This is the worst!"

I shake my head. For a level-headed girl, she is being awfully dramatic about packing. Nothing rattles her but piles of clothes, I guess.

"Do you want me to come over and help you?"

The clothes stop flying and her head pops up, eyes wide. "You'd do that?"

I shrug. "Sure. I'm basically ready other than the last-minute stuff. I'm just packing up the gaming system now, but I could be over there in a half hour. We could knock out that pile in no time then watch something. Turn this into a date."

I had been looking down at the equipment I'm boxing up while I was talking, so when I look up to the screen and see Hannah glowing, I'm a little surprised. There's practically hearts popping out of her eyes.

"What?"

"You are seriously the best boyfriend ever. Who does that willingly? Help his girlfriend pack? You are amazing." Hannah sighs after speaking.

I swallow, because as happy as I am that she feels this way about me, its suddenly put a ton of pressure on me to keep up this level of boyfriend awesomeness. I don't know if I have it in me. I'm still worried I'm going to fuck this up eventually.

"Okay, well, I'll see you as soon as I'm done with this box." I keep my voice as steady as possible. Not an easy task when I've suddenly become hyperaware of all of my faults.

"Yay! Thank you, baby!" Hannah ends the call and I force the regret out of my thoughts.

It's forty minutes until I make it to Hannah's house. When she opens the door, my girl throws her hands around my neck and latches on like a monkey. I laugh and grab her legs, walking all the way into her house.

"Jeez, if I knew that you'd be this excited over packing, I would have shown up long before now."

Hannah leans back, giving me a smirk with wiggling eyebrows. "You have no idea." She jumps down, grabs my hand and drags me down the hallway to her room. Once I step inside, I realize my massive mistake.

I'm in her bedroom.

Shit.

"Should we ask Sawyer to hang out with us?" I'm nervous. I feel it in my gut. It's a new feeling for me. Normally I'd use this situation to my advantage. That was the asshole version of myself, not me today.

"She's not here. My parents took her to get ice cream. I have too much to do for that so here I sat all stressed out until my knight in shining armor showed up." Hannah winks at me.

I ignore the wink, because not only am I in her bedroom, but we're alone in the house. Hannah must see the color drain from my face because a second later she's rushing to my side.

"Nope. Not going to freak out here, Matt. We are legal adults. We are packing to move to college tomorrow. I look like crap," she gestures to her outfit and messy bun, but I have no idea what she's talking about. This girl couldn't look like crap to me on her worst day, which is not today. She is always breathtaking to me. Her little gesture to prove she's not irresistible just served to solidify her irresistibility.

"Come on," she says. "I'll pack on one side of the room and you can pack on the other side. I promise to behave myself, buzz killer." Hannah mock punches me in the arm before sauntering to the opposite side of her bedroom. We set up and start packing.

It's when she's going on about all of the cool things we'll be able to do while living in the dorms, like study groups and late night donut runs, that I realize something.

"Hannah." I interrupt, getting her attention.

"What?" Both of us stop folding and packing, making eye contact across the room.

"I wouldn't be this guy if it wasn't for you." The statement is redundant. Both of us know this fact without me having to say it out loud. But it bears repeating, acknowledging and celebrating. "I hated who I was. But with you I actually kind of like myself."

Hannah blushes. "You can't say stuff like that if you want me to behave myself." She returns to folding clothes, dropping her gaze from mine.

"Okay, fine. You're a terrible girlfriend and I'm a rotten guy." I expected Hannah to laugh, but when she looks up at me with longing in her eyes instead, I regret the joke.

"Not really helping your cause, McKinley." Her words are whispered. Something about the tone in her voice has me shifting in my seat. Suddenly my pants are a little uncomfortable. Neither of us say another word for a while. I focus on filling boxes and so does Hannah. The tension remains although not nearly as strong as it was.

Her family returns and then the tension is gone. Once again, I should feel good that we got through that tunnel of temptation. But I don't.

Instead, I'm worried about the next time we take that tunnel because I don't know how much longer I can resist this girl. I won't want to resist if she says what I suspect she's been thinking. I've been thinking the same thing. If we say it, all bets are off. The reason I've been using to keep my hands off of her will melt away. Part of me hopes she doesn't say the words.

But most of me longs for her to say it first. I need to hear it so damn badly. Hannah will own me. If she loves me the way I'm falling in love with her, she will own every part of me.

Awwww, Matt ❤️❤️❤️. I may have tweeted about a Matt chapter that you are just not prepared for...this one isn't it. Just FYI. He's gonna dig deep, friends. Strap in those seat belts. I may have a few double update weeks coming up if my writing goes the way its been going, so yay! You'll need them. 🙊

Okay I have an authory question about this chapter: how are you feeling about Hannah? I don't even know what else to ask, just hoping that she doesn't read too one dimensional. Let me know!

And with music, this one was a risk for me. I love the romance in the song - that no matter how far away, I will always love you. But the tone is one of heartbreak and that is not the sentiment I'm going for. But enough of the message here is fitting so I went with it.

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If you want crazy teaser tweets and aesthetics for all of my stories, plus story recommendations and reviews...find me everywhere else!