All That She Wants // Ace of Base

Three weeks ago, I stood in front of Matt for the first time. Technically it was the second time, but I've decided that our first meeting in real life, that messed up night at the Lot, doesn't count. That wasn't really Matt. That guy was a broken-hearted asshole.

The Matt I've gotten to know over the last few months is nothing like the guy who came on to me in a drunken stupor. He's tender. He's observant. He's actually kind of shy.

And he won't put the moves on me, dang it! Sweet, tender kisses is all he will allow and I'm so freaking frustrated I might explode. Maybe this weekend will change things.

As I'm waiting for Matt to pick me up, my phone buzzes three times in rapid succession.

Matt: I'll be there in ten minutes.

Jeff: please tell me you're bunking with Kyra!

Kyra: Jeff is such a buzz kill...*crying emoji*

I send Matt a kiss emoji, Kyra gets a sad eyes emoji and Jeff deserves the three middle fingers I added to his thread. This trip was his idea, so he has to suffer the consequences.

I grab my duffle bag, packed for two days in Salt Creek with a crew of college freshman, and Kyra as a tag-a-long. I'm grateful she agreed to come because these are Jeff's football buddies, not mine, some from Jefferson and a few new friends from the Fallbrook Hills University team. Jeff has warned Kyra to stay away from all of them and she's determined to defy him. But that's none of my business. I'm just here for the unsupervised alone time with Matt.

I'm not trying to take things all the way...yet. But kissing him leaves me feeling so needy. I wouldn't mind a little second base action, is all I'm saying. My boyfriend is hot and he's keeping the goods from me!

By goods, I'm referring to his abs. I know he's got them. I saw them on Lot night. I almost ran my fingers over the ridges, but I kept my sanity and left him alone. I wouldn't want a guy doing that to me in an inebriated state so there was no way I would do that to him.

But the temptation was real. And so is my memory.

The doorbell rings, signaling Matt's arrival. I grab my bag and hug Sawyer who is reading in her room.

"Bye, sweetie. Text me if you want, okay?"

Sawyer just smiles, telling me that makes her happy. She doesn't make eye contact much, especially when she's tired.

I make it to the door as Matt and my dad are talking about road safety and seatbelts.

I really hope that isn't a euphemism for condoms. I fight off the full body shudder at the thought of my dad trying to remind Matt to wrap it up. Ugh.

"Hey, let's go." I grab Matt by the arm and start dragging him to the door.

"Um, don't you want to say goodbye to your parents?" Matt cocks an eyebrow in my direction.

"Meh, sure." I turn around and wave. "Bye, Dad." Then I cup a hand near my mouth. "Bye, Mom!" I shout toward the kitchen where Mom is prepping breakfast. I already grabbed some toast when I woke up. We wanted to get an early start on the road to maximize our time there. Plus, I remember barfing my guts up from the drive last time, so I didn't want to fill my stomach before heading up there.

"Okay, we're good now. Let's go." I resume position and drag Matt toward the door as he rushes through his thank you and goodbyes. I would never have guessed how polite he would be to my parents after our first encounter. He seemed like such a smutty parent-hater, a dad's worst nightmare to be honest. But this guy, he's all kinds of suck-up to my parents.

Once we are settled in the car with my bag in the trunk, Matt finally pulls away from my house.

"Freedom!" I throw my arm out the window as I yell, "Woo-hoo! Turn up the tunes and get the hell out of town, baby!"

Matt laughs. "Someone's awfully excited. I hope reality lives up to the hype." I look over to him as he shakes his head.

"Mountains, rapids, hiking, friends and no parents. What's to hype? That right there just screams the perfect senior summer get-a-way. Plus, you and I are going up there together. Even better." I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder while his hand goes to my thigh.

This is the moment. I sense that Matt is thinking what I'm thinking. Alone time.

"Baby, I'm really wanting to take our time, you know? I've rushed things with girls before and made that the entire focus of our time together. I don't want that with you. I want more."

I sigh. I really should be impressed with his restraint. But I'm more disappointed that he isn't living up to the hype. All I heard about for the months we were just texting is how much of a player Matt was. But the guy I've been exclusively dating for three weeks, and exclusively texting for the eight weeks prior, is a total boy scout. He's worse than Jeff! AKA my own cousin. Meaning, lookie no touchy. But I want to touch.

"I understand going slow. But why don't we just let things happen naturally. Don't put timelines on things, Matt. Just be with me."

"It's not about a timeline. I like you, Hannah. A lot. A whole hell of a lot, and I don't want to lose what we have found. I don't want to mess it up. I'm completely addicted to you already. If I had my hands all over you, I might not ever recover."

I turn to look at him, but Matt keeps his focus on the road. "That bad, huh?"

Matt shakes his head. "No, baby. That good. You don't understand. You are literally the best person, the best time, the best thing in my entire life. Obviously way ahead of my family. Better than this stupid car, definitely better than football." He lifts my hand to his lips, pressing them against the tender flesh. "You are essential. In my bloodstream now."

"Well, when you put it like that." I've never melted before, but Matt has succeeded in turning me to a slushy pile at his feet. I groan even while leaning my head against his shoulder once again. "Fine. I'm on board with the go-slow plan. But can I add a disclaimer?"

"Such as?"

"If at any time, this relationship becomes more essential than breathing or food, the go-slow plan gets dumped in favor of the oh-yeah plan."

"The oh-yeah plan? Do I even want to know?"

I shrug. "Maybe, maybe not. Use your imagination." I lift my head and wiggle my eyebrows at him.

Matt shakes his head and squeezes my hand. "I thought I was trouble, but you've got me beat now."

I laugh. "Oh honey, you have no idea..." The thoughts that fill my mind where Matt is concerned are a bit x-rated. I haven't shared these thoughts with him, yet. It would be manipulative, especially considering how much he wants to be a better guy than who he's been. I'm no saint, but I certainly haven't had the exposure he's had. I do, however, have a very active imagination. And a fantastic memory of his upper body. It's served me well these last few weeks.

Matt chuckles a little at my innuendo but I say nothing more. I don't want to tease him, and I can't get myself too worked up just for disappointment later.

Who knew I'd be the bad influence in this relationship?

***

The ride up to Salt Creek isn't nearly the experience I had the first time around, thank goodness. I was not looking forward to puking in any capacity with Matt nearby. I felt a little queasy on one section of winding road, but maybe the fact that I anticipated it helped me avoid having a repeat performance.

Yuck.

Jeff had driven up with Kyra, Pete, and his new teammates Micah and Gio, the day before to get the cabin all set up. I never heard from either Jeff or Kyra again after our early morning text fest, so I'm curious what's been going on. Clearly Jeff and Kyra got into it earlier based on the fact that they were texting me about each other. Those two have such a love-hate relationship. Sometimes I find myself envious of the way they are able to hang out and talk because my sister just doesn't have that ability being on the spectrum. She's pretty impacted by her own brain and doesn't express herself the way a neurotypical person would, that's the term used for someone not dealing with issues involving the brain. I've learned so much about that community since Sawyer was born. It's taken a lot of education for our family and adjusting how we approach day to day life to make things flow smoothly for her. But my sister is worth it. Her life is important, and I want her to experience as much happiness and joy as she possibly can.

Matt looks up from his phone. "Jeff says we are in the same cabin you stayed in last time. Do you remember where that is?"

"Yeah, it's just down the pathway there." We grab our bags then I lead the way. "I'm surprised Jeff ended up bankrolling the entire cabin. That's not usually his style."

"Jeff said that was all Micah. I guess the guy's uncle owns the resort."

Great. Hopefully this Micah guy isn't a huge douchy jack-hole like the North Fallbrook crowd. I don't need to deal with that all weekend. We get to the cabin and knock on the door. Jeff lets us in, and I shove past him.

"Please tell me the sleigh room isn't occupied!" I drop my bag next to the couch and race to the room before Jeff can answer. I love that bed. I need that bed.

When I get to the room, Kyra is lying on that bed in a red bikini. Oooo-kay.

"What's up?" Disappointed, I make a spot for myself on the bed next to her and lay down. I guess Matt and I should have driven up last night with everyone else after all. But he didn't want to leave Mark any longer than he had to.

"Ugh. This weekend is going to blow." Kyra moans with her arms flopped over her eyes.

"That didn't take long. You've only been here for a few hours, and half of that was sleeping. What happened? Jeff being too bossy?" The two of them must be in a hate cycle right now.

"No. He didn't need to be. All possibilities have been shut down."

"Uh, that's cryptic. Want to try saying that again in English?" I turn toward her, wondering what she's talking about.

Kyra lays on her side to face me. "Big brother has apparently threatened all of the boys within an inch of their life if they so much as breathe on me."

"All of the boys? There's only three possibilities here. Gio, Pete and that guy Micah. Who's your target this time?"

Kyra closes her eyes. "No one really. I just liked the idea of possibilities. Letting things happen naturally, with a little help from some purposeful flirting. But since Jeff shut them all down, there is no chance for anything to just...happen."

"How do you know he shut things down? Did he tell you?"

"He didn't have to. One, I know my brother, so I expected him to give some kind of warning. But he must have done more than a simple 'keep your hands off my sister' because, two, the second I walk into a room, the guys scatter like cockroaches."

I laugh. "Sorry, but I think there's bro code for that. Jeff is just doing what's expected of him and so are the other boys." I sigh and sit up. "I'll put some thought into this and maybe we can have some fun with the boys anyway. I'm going to find Matt and put my stuff away."

When I get back into the main room, all the guys are standing in the kitchen talking. They must have been out by the water because Jeff, Pete and the two other guys I haven't officially met yet are all standing shirtless. I really can't help what comes out of my mouth next.

"I'm back! Cover your junk!"

"Jeez, Hannah." Matt groans from the kitchen.

I turn to look at Matt and wink. "What? I don't want to see anyone's family jewels this early in the weekend. I'm doing a public service."

"Where'd you find this one?" asks one of the new dudes. The amusement in his light hazel eyes is hard to miss being such a contrast to his dark skin.

Jeff smacks the guy's left pectoral muscle. "That's Hannah, my cousin. Matt's," Jeff coughs a little, or maybe he's choking, "um, girlfriend."

Matt raises an eyebrow. "Dude, you gave me her number."

Jeff groans. "Please, please tell me you aren't sharing a room."

"What's with you?" I ask, hands on hips as I approach my cousin. "That's the second time you've insisted I bunk with someone other than Matt. Over-protective much?"

"No! I got stuck next to the last open room. The headboard in that room butts up against my wall. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT BANGING, OKAY!" Jeff is completely unhinged by the thought of hearing Matt and I getting busy.

"Relax. We can control ourselves. Plus, Hannah is bunking with Kyra." Matt answers.

I shoot a glare over to Matt. He gives me a pleading look. What the heck is he so afraid of? I recognize the uncertainty in him, so I back off. But we will be having words about this later.

***

It's late. We spent the day hanging out by the creek, which is not so much a creek and more of a white water rapid but whatever. Being in the sun and navigating the rushing waters has wiped most of us out. Matt kissed me on the cheek about a half hour ago and trudged off to bed. I'm sitting on the couch with Kyra, Pete and Gio talking about nothing and avoiding sleep like it's evil.

"Where did Micah sneak off ?" Pete asks.

"Not sure. But he grew up around here so he's probably meeting up with friends." Gio answers without lifting his head up from the back of the couch. Then he yawns. "I should sleep."

"We should all sleep," I say, also yawning. I stand up and stretch.

"Not yet," Kyra pulls me down a little further. She gives me a look that I should be able to read, but I'm so tired I have no clue what she wants me to know. I just shrug at her and lay my head on the arm of the chair, closing my eyes.

"I've been wondering," Kyra pierces the quiet with her whispered words. "Out of the five of you, who's got the most game?"

I crack one eye open to see Gio's arm in the air.

Pete is chuckling in a half-conscious way. "Nope. Not even, dude. Matt had that title for a while. I'd say he's still got it considering he's the only one with a girlfriend."

"Interesting." Kyra leans closer to Pete and suddenly I understand the look she gave me earlier. "So you don't think you've got moves?"

Pete leans closer to Kyra. "Not what I said, sweetheart. I've got plenty of moves. But I don't use them on just anyone."

Kyra leans back. Even in the shadowy darkness of the room, I can tell her eyes have narrowed to thin slits. She does not like his answer.

"Wait a minute," I say. My brain is foggy, but Pete's insinuation just became clear. "What are you trying to say, that Matt is some kind of ho?" I sit up and glare at Pete. "Aren't you his friend?"

Pete shakes his head. Gio stands up abruptly. "It's past my bedtime. I'm out. See ya in the morning."

"Not what I meant, Hannah," Pete says when Gio is out of earshot. "He's different now with you. But I'm pretty sure you were warned about him, so you know what he was like."

Pete's right. I do know. But I don't like the way he spoke about his supposed best friend. Then I remember what Jeff told us the last time we were in this cabin, in this very spot. That Pete and Matt had fought over a girl. Maybe that has changed how Pete sees Matt.

Well, nothing I can do about that now. I'm too tired to process all of this information. "I'm going to bed, too. You coming?" I ask Kyra.

"In a minute."

I head to our room and get myself ready for bed. A few minutes later I'm lying under the covers and kind of pissed that Matt didn't even want to share a room with me. I get that he's trying to change, and that he doesn't want to be tempted. But I just want to snuggle next to him for once. Is that too much to ask?

It only takes me a split second to decide once the idea pops into my head. I jump out of bed and sneak down the hall and past the living room to the other wing of bedrooms where Matt is sleeping. Movement on the couch catches my eye as I pass the opening to the main room. When I turn to look, I catch a glimpse of Pete and Kyra making out. Thankfully I am able to hold off on the gasp that really wants to escape and instead sneak the rest of the way down the hallway into Matt's room.

I don't know what to think about what I just saw, so I lock it up and try not to wonder. Instead, I slip under the covers next to Matt and crawl over next to him. He's sound asleep but as soon as my warmth reaches him, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

This is all I need. It is perfection.

I have to start with my music notes because the song choice was iffy this week. I picked it because it's a fun song and kind of playful, which is Hannah at this point in the story. But the song also tells the story of a manipulative person and that is NOT Hannah, so don't read into it too much!

Soooooo, any thoughts about the creek trip? It will continue next week btw so we will get a little more fun with the boys. I'm not saying any more about that 😉.

Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words and support! I would not be the writer I am without you guys!! 💕

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