(a/n: can you tell i wrote chapters 59 and 60 during sad bitch hours lol? tbh most of these chapters were written during sad bitch hours but you'll see later in the chapter-

okay update this chapter was STARTED during sad bitch hours but it was completed before i went on for a showcase i was in that just closed so it gets un-sad

ALSO THIS IS A LOGAN CHAPTER BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SHUT UP)

"Virgil, you seem off," Logan said. "Would you like to talk?"

Virgil shrugged. "It's complicated. Besides, I wouldn't want to bother you."

"While I'm not good with emotions, I am your friend. The least I can do is give you some help."

"It's about Declan."

"Ah."

"And Roman."

"Oh? Are you two back together?"

"I mean, yeah. Probably, I think so. But I feel like..." He looked around and lowered his voice. "Maybe Roman could be falling down the same hole as Declan. I'm just worried about him, and I feel like I'm the reason this is happening to Roman. Declan's dead and if Ro doesn't get enough support..."

"He'll be okay. We all look out for each other here. You don't have to worry about bothering me with your problems. I watched your whole relationship with Declan from start to finish. I don't want you going through anything like that again. It won't happen. Okay?"

Virgil smiled sadly.

"Despite how much I get frustrated with Roman, I do care about his wellbeing."

"Yeah."

"And Virgil?"

"Mhm?" He looked at Logan.

"You're 19. Enjoy it while you still can."

"I'm turning 20 in a couple months."

"Turning 20 is stranger than you think. It's a big change. Even the idea could figuratively break you." Logan stood up and folded his hands as he stared at his shoes. "It nearly broke me."

♡

(a/n: im not sure who requested for there to be a remile subplot, and i won't have enough room for much of it but ill gladly add it in)

"This is an amazing office, Mr. Picani," Roman said as he walked into the room.

"Why, thank you!" Emile replied. "And call me Emile. I'm only a couple of years older than you!" He laughed. "Make yourself comfortable." He gestured to the couch.

Roman sat down and continued exploring the office with his eyes until he came across a photo that caught his attention. He walked towards it with curiosity. "You know Remy?" He pointed to the photo of his roommate and the therapist in front of a brick wall.

"You know Remy? He's my boyfriend," Emile said with a grin.

"Remy's my roommate. And best friend. And I've been his best friend since middle school. How did I not know he had a boyfriend?!"

"We just started dating," he explained. "Besides, he tells me that he's rarely home since he travels so much or crashes at a friend's place because he drank too much."

"Sounds like Remy Foster to me."

They talked about Remy for a few minutes until Emile asked, "So, why exactly did you decide to come here?"

"Well..."

♡

*tw: mentions of family member death from disease, mention of suicide attempt*

"What do you mean by that?" Virgil asked. "What nearly broke you?"

He suddenly remembered what Patton had told him that one day; Patton only saw Logan cry once, because of something really intense.

Logan inhaled sharply. It was obvious he wasn't used to someone other than Patton knowing about whatever he was thinking about.

"I lost my sister to breast cancer when I was 19. Before that, I was scared of turning 20 and not being a teenager anymore. I thought then I wouldn't have a reason to be so terrified for her, and that, somehow, it was my fault I couldn't save her, so a week before my 20th birthday, I tried to kill myself."

"O-Oh."

It felt like a bomb dropped in the room. It didn't feel like Logan, yet it was.

"She died shortly after," Logan continued, "and I was in a separate wing of the hospital, so I wasn't able to be there with her while she passed."

"I'm so sorry."

"It just feels wrong to know I tried to die and she didn't have a choice."

"That's," Virgil inhaled, "awful. You're right."

Logan chuckled. "I know." Despite his tried lightheartedness, Virgil could tell his eyes were watery. "I'm much better now."

"What made you become better now?"

"Realizing I had a lot of growing up to do still. I thought that because I was legally an adult, I should've had it all together, but I definitely didn't. Roman will heal. I believe in him. But you can't control everything. Maybe you need some extra help too."

Virgil sucked in his cheeks. "What if Roman doesn't get better? What if he..."

Logan understood where Virgil was going. "I doubt he will, but even if he does, there are people who love you and will support you through it. Besides, you have to take into account Roman's home life. That certainly isn't your fault."

"How do you know about that?" the teenager asked.

"I know about everything."

"Oh."

"Anyway, is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Virgil shrugged. He was just tired. "What a world we live in, huh?"

♡

"Broadway," Emile said dreamily. "You're incredibly talented, y'know. Your boyfriend was right when he said you deserve more credit than you get."

Roman blushed. "I think he just told me that because he felt bad for me."

Emile took a pen from a plastic can and wrote something in his notebook. "And do you think that a lot when you get compliments?"

Roman sighed loudly. "All the time. I mean, I believe them, but not for a long time before I doubt it."

"Well, with everything you described to me about your relationship with Virgil, someone like him wouldn't spend his time pretending to love and appreciate someone he really didn't."

"He always feels like he needs to do things to make other people happy."

"You two have that in common, huh?"

"I guess so. Like, when I got into a car accident, he missed three days of shows just to stay at the hospital with me. Which is dumb, because I was unconscious and wouldn't have known anyway."

"Well, he knew you wouldn't know, but he wanted to be there for you. That's a great sign he truly cares about you."

Roman shrugged and slumped back in his seat.

This was weird.

Getting help for his mental health was weird.

Roman Ferrante wasn't this messed up, right?

♡

Logan ran his fingers through his hair. "Anyway... is Roman coming tonight? He's usually here early."

"I don't think so," Virgil replied.

"Well, tell him I wish him well."

"Okay."

The director grabbed his coat. "I need to go now. It's strange, but I was told to meet with someone so I'll be back tomorrow."

"That's fine. Bye."

"Bye."

As he was about to leave, Virgil said, "Wait!"

"Yes?" Logan turned around.

"You're..." Virgil smiled slightly, "really cool."

Logan blinked in surprise and Virgil noticed that the director let out a soft gasp. "Thank you." Then he rushed away, burning at the feeling of being complimented by someone other than Patton.

Virgil was like a brother to him.

Maybe he could use a brother after losing a sister.

♡

Logan drove to the address he was given. Usually he would be more cautious about going to a random place a stranger told him to go to through a note in his mailbox, but it was in Patton's handwriting, so Logan went with it. The note instructed not to look at what the address was, so Logan wasn't sure what it was. Hell, it could be anything from a school to a mental asylum.

But when he got there, it was a beautiful restaurant. Patton stood at the entrance with his hands behind his back.

He grinned at his boyfriend, who kissed him.

"What's all this for?" Logan asked. "Is today something important? What am I forgetting?"

"You randomly did something sweet for me, so I'm doing it back," Patton explained.

Logan stared longingly into Patton's eyes with a crooked smile.

"Uhh, yes, Lo?" Patton giggled.

"I love you," he whispered.

That was how they spent their time while eating at the restaurant. Saying cute things to each other and laughing.

"Can I tell you something?" Logan asked. He put down his fork.

"Anything."

"Today, I was talking to Virgil."

Patton smiled at the thought of his best friend. "Mhm?"

"I told him about Abigail. About what I..."

"You opened up to him? About that? But you've never told anyone that except for me." Patton was surprised, but he had a spark of excitement in his eyes. "That's amazing!"

"Y-Yeah."

"And how are you feeling about it?"

"Strange. I mean, I don't open up. Ever. I don't know why I did it with Virgil."

"Hey. Things happen when you don't expect them to. I like that you're being all vulnerable and cute."

Logan blushed. "You're not upset?"

"Why would I be upset?"

"I just thought... It took me so long to trust you to even consider being your friend, and I just told something huge to Virgil who I befriended not even a full year ago and had only met in the show."

"Of course I'm not upset," Patton laughed. "Logan, I'm so proud of you!" He was clearly tearing up.

"No! Please don't cry, or else you'll make me feel like I'm going to cry, and I do not cry," he joked.

"My baby is growing up!" Patton lunged at Logan and hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. Logan hugged back, of course, though he was struggling to breathe.

Taken aback by Patton's reaction and overwhelmed with emotion, when they pulled away from the hug, Logan blinked several times and his eyes looked pretty watery.

"Are you...?" Patton asked, more intrigued and now slightly concerned.

"What? No."

"Well, I-I hope you aren't sad because I..." He took a box out of his pocket and opened it to show to Logan.

Logan held his breath as he looked at the ring and up at Patton. "Patton, we're 22 and 23."

"I-It's a promise ring!" he explained. "Do you..."

"Y-Yes. Yes."

Patton put the ring on Logan's finger. "Um... Did I do it right?" When he looked up at his boyfriend, he was crying. "Lo?"

"Sorry." Logan looked away and squeezed his eyes shut. "Today has been so overwhelming and I tried to keep it all together a-and—" Tears poured down his face and Logan didn't know how to react. He hadn't been like this in forever.

Patton held his hand and took him to the bathroom where he helped Logan calm down and clean up. He held him close. "You're so pretty."

"I was just crying," Logan laughed sadly. He still sounded on the verge of tears, and his voice was shaky, but Patton let him rest leaning against him.

"That doesn't change anything."

Logan calmed to the smell of Patton's shampoo and the relaxing sound of his beating heart.

"Are you not happy about the ring?" Patton asked softly.

"No, I love it. I love you. It's just, with Virgil, and then I told you what I told him, and I've been holding it in all day, and then you did that, and I just- I freaked out."

"Hey, hey." He held Logan's hand and caressed it gently. "I get it."

Logan wiped his glasses before telling his boyfriend he was ready to head out.

"Do you want to spend some time alone at my place?" Patton suggested.

He nodded.

"Okay. Let's pay and get out of here, yeah?"

He nodded again and Patton connected their lips, smiling through the kiss. A couple more tears left Logan, but he didn't mind when he was with Patton.