NESSA

Grayson seemed confused by my outburst, which only served to raise my blood pressure a few more notches. My breaths were coming in quick puffs of air, and I had to work to slow them down. Even them out.

In. Out. In. Out.

I knew this man would be the death of me, but I didn't think this would be how I went out.

Death by worrying about the stubborn ass that is Grayson Wilder Everett.

"I didn't think you would be playing this year," I said when I felt like I could speak without screaming.

The crease between his eyes deepened.

"Why wouldn't I?"

I stared at him. He had to be fucking with me. Right?

"You had a stroke, remember? For crying out loud, you had heart surgery a few months ago."

Grayson swallowed and leaned forward onto the table. "Nessa...I know that was scary, but I promise I'm fine."

Scary? What happened to Grayson this spring wasn't scary. It was downright terrifying. It was heartbreaking. It sucked up a bit of my soul that I wasn't sure I would ever get back.

"You told me yourself that you have to keep a close eye on your blood pressure," I argued. "I don't think that sprinting across a football field and getting tackled is a great way to combat that."

He grinned crookedly. "I think we've more than tested my physical endurance throughout the last few weeks, don't you? I didn't see you worrying then."

When all I did was stare blankly at him, his smile faded. He wasn't going to charm his way out of this one. A few rounds of hot sex didn't compare to the physicality required of a Division 1 athlete.

Grayson sighed. "Listen, Adler. I'm good at listening to my body. I'm really good at it. I've been doing this for years, and—"

"If you're so good at it, then how did you end up in a coma, Grayson?"

"Because—fuck." He raked a hand through his hair, his agitation growing. But hell, so was mine. After a frustrated growl, though, Grayson tried again, his voice low. "Because even though I felt the warning signs, I had more important things on my mind, okay? One thing, in particular. And it had nothing to do with football."

"No, it's not okay," I hissed. "What could possibly be more important than your heart Grayson?"

It was Grayson's turn to stare at me, unmoving. His eyes leaked pain. And that pain slowly seeped into me as I realized.

Music hummed in the background. Madie laughed. Machines whirred. The trickle of slow-drip coffee. Footsteps passed our table.

Grayson was silent.

"What could be more important than your heart, Grayson?" I repeated, softer this time. Just a murmur of words that I knew he heard.

Clearing his throat, he looked down. A quick shake of his head. "Forget about it, Nessa."

Impossible. Never.

"Answer the question."

"I won't." He shook his head faster now. Like he could shake away the question. "I won't answer it."

I gritted my teeth. I needed him to tell me that he wasn't saying what I thought he was saying. Because if he was...

"Answer the goddamn question."

"Fine," Grayson snapped. His fist fell onto the table, his steely eyes flying to mine. He looked more unnerved, more inflamed than I'd ever seen him. "It's you, Adler. It's you. You're what's more important. You're more important than anything. And don't you dare tell me that you don't understand that. Because I've already told you how much I fucking love you. How much I'm in love with you."

Covering my mouth with a shaky hand, I sucked in a breath.

He hadn't just said what I'd thought he was saying. It was more. It was so much more. And hearing that truth made my heart slam against my rib cage in protest.

"I have to...."

Go. I had to go.

A fresh breeze. The sound of car horns. The sun beating down on my skin. I needed to breathe something that wasn't the thick air in this room. I needed to hear something that wasn't the sound of my own rapid heartbeat or the soft chatter in a quiet cafe. I needed to feel something that wasn't pain.

Grayson called after me. I brushed past Bren, too, who tried to grab my wrist and ask what was wrong. Ignoring both of them, I marched, determined, through the front door of The Grounds.

I gulped in the air, but it still wasn't enough, and I weaved around the corner of the weathered brick building, needing something solid to lean against.

"Nessa?"

At his voice, I opened my eyes. Grayson sounded distant but loud at the same time. The way he said my name...it called me. Gripped me and held on. Because even though I craved space and air and room to breathe right now, I also craved him.

Luckily, I watched as he rounded the corner, spotting me.

"Jesus Christ." His worried expression crumbled as he strode in my direction. "Don't disappear like that on me."

"Take it back," I sobbed. "Take back what you said."

Shaking his head, he slowed his steps as he approached me, taking my face between his hands. "I can't take it back, baby."

"Then don't do that." I pushed at his chest, but he just caught my hand and held it there. He was a solid wall, and I didn't even knock him back a step. "Don't you ever do that again."

"Do what?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

"Don't you dare choose me over your own goddamn heart."

His expression softened. "You are my heart, Adler."

I ripped myself away from him, taking off down the sidewalk, letting my fingers drag against the brick. I never expected that being loved would hurt this much.

When he called my name again, I spun on my heel.

"I'm serious, Grayson Everett." I poked a finger in his direction as if my chastising would do any good. But I was too wound up to do anything other than yell, spun tightly with worry and fear. "You're not doing that shit again. And for fuck's sake, you're not playing football."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked toward me. Amusement lingered in the lines of his face. Did he think this was a goddamn joke?

"I'm not playing football, huh?"

"Not even a chance."

Grayson nodded his head as if considering. "I talked with Dr. Martinez about it, and she said—"

"I really don't give a shit what she said."

"Why?" Grayson's lips twitched in a slight smile, and I swore beneath my breath. If I wasn't trying so damn hard to keep him alive, I'd have killed him by now.

"You wanna know why?" I threw my hands up in the air, beyond exasperated.

"Yeah. I do, baby."

"Because I love you, you annoying, ridiculous man," I cried. "I'm in love with you, and even though I have this silly picture in my head of wearing your jersey and going to your games and kissing you on a field in front of far too many people, it also terrifies me. It terrifies me that something is going to happen to you again, and I won't survive that."

Sucking in a breath, I squeezed my eyes closed to try to get a grip. When I opened them again, Grayson's bright gaze danced unsteadily before me. And for some reason, seeing him nearly made me crumble. "I won't survive losing you again," I choked.

Stepping closer to me, Grayson grinned, giddy and wide. I scowled, even as he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me tight.

"Would you stop smiling?" I mumbled into his chest, trying not to melt but failing. "I'm being serious."

He ignored me. I knew he ignored me because I heard the smile in his voice. "You never lost me."

I never lost him, but I thought I did. And it was the worst sort of pain.

Reaching between us, I grabbed his hand. It was his turn to feel my heart. To hear my beat of life. Because a part of that life belonged to him. His palm spread over my pulse, and then I waited for his gaze to meet mine.

The heartbeat of the city and the moment enveloped us as Grayson blinked down at me, and I let those eyes suck me in.

"I love you, okay?" I whispered. "That's why I don't care what your doctor says. That's why you're not playing football. That's why I won't let you risk your life. That's why and it's the only reason I've got."

Sweeping me off my feet, Grayson tucked my legs around his waist, and I had no choice but to grab hold of his neck. When he seemed satisfied that I was securely attached to him, one of his hands tangled into my hair, guiding my head down to his.

"Best fucking reason," he breathed and then punctuated it with a kiss—the kind of kiss I'd always dreamed about. The kind I imagined in my head, thinking I'd never actually get to feel something so  perfect in real life.

Of course, I was wrong. Because now I had Grayson. And he was giving me a kiss that was open-mouthed, deep, and drugging. A kiss designed to expel truths and replace words.

But I found myself saying them anyway.

"I love you," I whimpered into his mouth.

He groaned loudly and backed me into the wall, the coarse brick grating against my skin. I couldn't care less.

"God, Adler." His voice was a gruff caress against my lips. "If you keep saying you love me like that, I might not make it. My heart is going to explode."

Sneaking my fingers into his hair, I gave it a hard tug. "And if you keep saying shit like that about your heart, I'm going to kick your ass." Grayson's chuckle muffled into my mouth, and I nipped at his lip. "It's not funny, Wilder."

"Maybe I want to see you try to kick my ass. You're kinda hot like this."

I kissed him harder in reply because I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea that he was mine. And I needed to feel him, more of him, all of him.

"Shit, I was wrong," he groaned when I pulled back. "You're really hot."

Grayson tilted his hips forward, trapping me against the building. It was probably good; all my muscles and bones had gone limp. Melted.

Once he had me situated just right, Grayson looked down. "I'll schedule an appointment with Dr. Martinez this week. You can come and duke it out with her. Just no ass-kicking, okay?"

"Okay." Laughing, I rested my forehead against his, letting heavy pants mingle between us. The words I love you accidentally slipped between my lips again, breathy and whispered. I couldn't help it. Hearing them aloud was like a brush with peace.

Grayson closed his eyes like he was soaking it in.

"I love you, too," he breathed when his gaze met mine again. "Fuck, I love you, too."

I smiled, forgetting all the pain of moments before. This was worth all the pain.

A hand ran up my leg, sneaking beneath my skirt. "Where the hell is the car parked?" Grayson asked, looking around as if it would drive up at any moment. "I need you, Adler. I need you now."

"God, yes." He could have me. He could have me now. He could have me whenever he wanted. I was his. So completely his. And the reality of that made adrenaline course through my veins.  "The rush..." My breaths were short again, words hardly making it out of my mouth. "It's intoxicating, Grayson."

Tugging me away from the wall, Grayson gripped my hips, holding tight. "Don't I fucking know."

"Is this what it's like when you win a game?"

If it was, I could understand why he loved it so goddamn much.

But Grayson shook his head and that cocky grin of his teased me.

"Nah, baby. This is so much better."

💗

Couldn't fit the double date night in this chapter. So it'll be coming up next!
xoxo amelie