NESSA

My brain was backpedaling. I hadn't meant to keep the Bren detail hidden from Grayson. Honestly, I'd forgotten that he didn't already know. It wasn't a secret, just something I was too embarrassed to admit before.

But as I watched Grayson try to absorb the information, I could tell that the omission of Bren's name when I'd initially told the story...it was making him see things that weren't there.

Grayson blinked. "Bren...like, Bren Hadaway?"

Yeah," I said lamely.

"Like one of your best friends, Bren?"

I sighed. "I only know one Bren, Grayson."

"Bren, as in your roommate's boyfriend?"

"They weren't together at the time," I rushed to say. "Not even close. We'd just met."

He nodded and turned to look out the windshield.

"But yes," I admitted quietly, and there was a short pause as I saw the gears turning in Grayson's mind.

"Sorry," he said with a humorless laugh. "I'm just trying to process that...."

"That Bren's dick was in my mouth?"

A deep scowl slipped onto Grayson's face. "You didn't have to fucking say it like that, but yeah."

I sucked in a breath and then released it slowly. "It was a one-night thing. I promise we've never been more than friends."

Looking at me out of the corner of his eye, Grayson raised a brow, and I tripped on my words.

"I mean, besides—you know."

"Yeah, I know," he bit out.

I grimaced as Grayson kicked the car into drive and headed back onto the highway. An awkward silence settled over us. Grayson currently had a broodiness about him that ironically reminded me of Bren. Not that I'd tell him that right now.

He hit his palm against the steering wheel suddenly, making me jump a bit.

"That's what he fucking meant by that," he mumbled, shaking his head.

I frowned. "Meant by what?"

Grayson shook his head again, annoyed. "That day we talked, I told him you were giving me a run for my money. And he said something back that I didn't understand. Until now."

My frown deepened. "What did he say?"

Bren and I didn't speak about what happened in my room that night. It was in the past, shoved away in a locked closet, and the key was lost. So the idea that he would mention it to Grayson surprised the hell out of me.

"He said...as someone who got in the door right away, I think this means she actually likes you."

I raised a brow. "Well, I guess he's not wrong. I do like you, Grayson," I said, keeping my voice quiet. "More than anyone I've been with."

That seemed to soften Grayson up. He visibly relaxed his shoulders. And his grip on the steering wheel. But after running a hand through his hair, Grayson asked, "Did he touch you?"

Nervous laughter bubbled up. "No. After Madie interrupted and fled, Bren actually said he felt bad that he didn't get a chance to...return the favor. But it was too weird, too awkward after that. He left."

Grayson seemed unamused. "Remind me to thank Madie next time I see her."

I chuckled, shaking my head. But then we fell silent again. I could hear the wind rushing past the windows. The tires hitting the highway beneath us. The hum of the engine. I itched to turn on some music. Something to break the tension. But I realized I had to be the one to do that.

"He never really wanted me," I said. "I was just the one available that night."

"Well, then he's an idiot."

Even though he was acting surly, warmth still spread through me. But it quickly vanished when I heard the doubt in Grayson's voice. Because doubt and Grayson typically had nothing to do with each other.

"Did you want him?"

I shook my head. "No more than you probably wanted...what was her name? Sarah?"

Grayson grunted in reply, but I took it to mean that I was correct.

"Point taken." He sighed. "But I'm not close with Sarah. Not even a little bit. You, though..."

"There's nothing but friendship between Bren and me," I insisted. "He's Madie's. And I'm..."

"Mine," Grayson finished for me.

Yours.

I'd wanted to say it, but at the last minute, I let my nerves get the best of me. Mainly because the look on Grayson's face at the moment was dark and taut. But of course, he held no reservations about saying it. He never had.

"You're mine, Wednesday," he reiterated.

My stomach flipped, but I still scowled. "Stop ruining moments by using my full name."

Exasperation flooded his already stormy expression. "The point is I don't care."

"What?"

"I don't care what your name is. I wouldn't care if it was Monday or Tuesday or Friday. Nessa or Adler or Wednesday. It doesn't make a goddamn difference. You're still mine."

He was punching the words out of his throat like he was mad, but it still made something inside me swell up. Painfully full. My chest was painfully full, and it made it hard to say anything.

But Grayson was still on a roll.

"You're mine, so the next time I hear Bren call you one of his girls, I might have to set the record straight."

At this point, it was hard to keep my lips from inching upward. Grayson clearly met the protective side of Bren, and it had given him the completely wrong impression.

"I'm sure he would be fine with that, darling," I said lightly, almost teasingly.

Grayson's lips twitched, and I saw the brightness in his eyes return, but he didn't seem totally convinced.

"As long as I'm fine with it," I added, "which I am."

"Good," Grayson said, reaching over to squeeze my thigh and then leaving his hand there possessively.

Trying to ignore the way his touch immediately made my skin tingle, I sighed in relief. Grayson seemed more settled now. He'd learned what he needed to learn. And he said what he needed to say.

But there was still one thing I needed him to know. "Just so you know, I wasn't trying to keep it from you."

"Why did you?"

"It's embarrassing, Grayson. I'd already told you about how my own boyfriend had used me for sex. And then you watched Jonathan ditch me at the gala. I didn't really want to mention how I hooked up with one of my best friends before he promptly moved onto my roommate. I didn't think you needed more examples of how I'm not good enough."

Grayson's lips thinned into a straight line. "You're good enough. They just weren't the ones for you."

"I know," I breathed easily. Because I could be glad now that Jasper had dumped me. I was happy to be rid of him, happy to have made room in my life for a different guy. A better one.

"Good, Nessa." He ran his palm over my thigh again before squeezing it. "Now, let's get you home."

I leaned back, closing my eyes and trying to get my pounding heart to relax. But it was useless. Going home felt different this time. And I knew it was because a part of me now belonged in Oakland.

Or more accurately, wherever Grayson Everett was.

****

Even though Grayson had relaxed about the whole Bren thing, he was still acting weird. A look of discomfort had settled onto his face, and it didn't seem to be budging. But when I tried to talk to him about it, he grabbed my hand and told me it was fine.

"It's really okay, Nessa," he admitted. "I was just wrapping my head around everything. It took me for a loop."

But if it was really okay, then why was he grimacing? Why did his characteristically huge smiles seem so forced? Why did it seem like he was suddenly in a rush to get home and drop me off?

When we pulled up in front of my house, he cut the engine and then just sat there for a minute. He was breathing heavily. But all we'd done in the last forty-five minutes was drive on the interstate. We'd barely even talked.

I stared at him, frowning.

When he noticed, he seemed startled.

"Shit, sorry."

He hopped quickly out of the car and strode around to pull my bags out of the trunk. Then he walked to my door, opening it for me.

I stared up at him.

"I know you're all about chivalry, but I really can open the door for myself. That's not why I was looking at you."

His brows furrowed together. But before he could reply, a hundred-pound curly-haired torpedo knocked into him, and he flew into the car.

"Woah there, little man," Grayson said, a genuine but weak smile flashing onto his face as he looked down at Rory.

"I'm not little," Rory protested, jumping back with all the energy of a home section at a football game. "I almost just sacked you."

Grayson chuckled. "Fair enough."

"Wanna toss the ball around?"

Opening his mouth, Grayson hesitated. And for some reason, it crushed my heart when he said, "I'm sorry, Rory. I can't today."

Rory looked crushed, too. My thoughts about asking Grayson to stay for dinner went out the window. But I still wasn't ready to say goodbye for a week.

"Maybe another time?" Grayson added, lifting my spirits.

Rory shrugged, taking it in stride. "Okay, sounds good."

My brother lingered for a second, looking awkwardly between Grayson and me, so I gave him a smile. "I'll see you inside in a minute, Rory."

He nodded, waved, and then took off for the backyard. Of course, he wasn't going back inside. He was made for the outdoors, and I'd probably have to hunt him down later.

Turning back to Grayson, I watched as he quickly dropped his hand from rubbing a spot on his chest and flashed me a half-hearted smile.

"Would you want to come by sometime this week?" I asked. "Maybe have dinner? Hang out with Rory? Get an in-depth tour of my bedroom?"

"I would love that," he said softly, leaning in to kiss my forehead.

As he started to pull away again, turning to walk to the driver's side of the car, I grabbed his arm.

"Wait."

He looked back with a crease on his forehead.

"Are you upset?" I asked. "With me?"

The crease vanished. He walked back over to me and cupped my face with both hands.

"No, Nessa. I'm so far from being upset. I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was mad at you because I'm really not. I promise." He brushed his lips over mine, and warmth spread through my entire body. "I'm allowed to do that now, right?"

Giddiness joined the sensations flowing through me. Because I knew the answer to that question right away, and I trusted it so damn much.

"Right."

He grinned, and it was genuine. "Then I couldn't be happier."

I smiled back, but I was still skeptical because he seemed—

"I'm just tired, Nessa."

Tired.

Except I knew what Grayson looked like when he was tired. What he acted like when he was tired. And there was still something off.

"Are you okay to drive home?"

He nodded. "I'm good. It's not far. Do you want me to bring your bags in?"

"I can carry my own bags in, Wilder." I smirked at him before sobering. "Text me when you get there, then."

Agreeing, Grayson gave me one more kiss, and then he took off down the road.

I watched, wishing the emotions in my chest were easier to understand. Grayson just kissed me goodbye. Like we were a couple. Like it was normal. Like when we returned after spring break, we were going to pick up where we left off.

I should have been overjoyed, but something didn't feel right.

Trying to push that aside, I trudged through the front door and calling out.

"Hello!"

"Jesus, you don't have to scream."

All I saw was Piper's feet sticking up over the top of the couch, but based on the middle-school attitude in the voice, I knew it was her.

"Good to see you, too, Pipes," I said, sighing.

"Well, mom's recording in the basement," she said by way of explanation. Which I supposed was a good reason not to yell.

"What's she working on this time?"

Piper sat up, crinkling her nose as her curly hair spilled over her shoulder. "She wouldn't tell me. So I can only assume it's a little...you know."

Yeah, I knew. Probably similar to the things I'd done with a handsome football player within the last twenty-four hours.

Not wanting to talk to my sister about our mom's audio-recording of a smutty book, I switched the topic.

"Where's dad?"

"He's right here."

Spinning around, I was met with my dad's wise grin. He pulled me in for a hug that I sorely needed, and I dropped my bags to the floor to return it. But not even my dad's warm welcome and the smell of his cooking could make the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach disappear.

Especially when I never got that text from Grayson.

💗

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